Plan b: Ka- ching!
Last week, Henry told Danny that each time he goes to the toilet alone, a
witch would leap out from the pit and cook his butt for dinner. Danny was
pretty horrified at Henry's tale and ever since, mom's asked me to take
Danny to the bathroom and wait till he's done cause Henry had also told
him that he was an agent to the witch and could also roast his butt for
dinner. Since then, I've endured the grudgery of having to take Danny to
the toilet. It could have been bearable if he just acted like every other
child and went to toilet twice and not every two damn seconds! And believe
me when I say that you don't wanna know how long he spends in there. I'll
be full-fledged statue by the end of the week if he keeps it up.
Sometimes, I wonder if he sleeps in there or something way worse but now
I know better. And it's not worst. it's terrible!. He doesn't just SLEEP in
there. He LIVES in it!! His bathroom's filled with toys, and books and even
a little tv. There's even a little bed!
When I asked him if he'd done it on purpose, he shrugged and said he'd
done it for the fun of watching me hang around the bathroom door.
"So you actually knew Henry was lying to you?"
"Nope. The witch's here"
"So… Why aren't you scared?"
"Cause if she eventually shows up and I have my butt roasted, you'll have
yours roasted too. Besides, Henry offered me 10 bucks to make your life
miserable. Who am I to say no to that?" So you see what I'm up against?
The boy's a little devil. Yesterday, he made me stand at the door for
nearly half an hour and when I tried to sneak out, he cried out, saying that
the witch was scraping his butt so mom made me sit with him in the toilet,
while he watched a movie and did his thing. The only consolation i get from
my horrible week is school.
At school, my friends and I sat together on our favourite spot by the
window, eating and talking and ogling at boys that'd never dream of ogling
back at us in a million years. June just remained in perpetual silence,
buried in a book that looked too boring to even look at. I kept nudging and
glancing at her but she glared even harder at me and read on. Her copy of
the wonderful wizard of oz fell to the ground. Or at least we thought. A
terribly cute boy bent to pick it right up and their hands touched. first I
was shocked that someone else but june read something as trite as the
wizard of oz and then at the fact that they were still staring into each
other's eyes like lost klutzs. They even had the same I-don't-know-howstupid-I-look-right-now look. Carlizza leaned in and whispered.
"That's Maxwell Hills!" I gaped at her.
" He exists?" Shayna rolled her eyes at me and took off from Carlizza.
"Course he does. He's a total music nerd, plays in a jazz band and loves
animals"
" Goodness that's SO June!"
" I know right" Shayna whispered. We turned to watch them.
" Sorry I didn't mean to disturb you," Maxwell said, rubbing his sweaty
palms behind his cool skinny jeans. Max Hills was definitely on the right
side of cute, though not in the jock or hunky hunk kinda way. He's got a
neat mop of curly brown matched with the brightest pair of chocolate
brown eyes I've ever seen, just like June. They even have the same
fashion sense. Skinny ripped jeans, Plain shirt with something inspirational
in front ( Nerd much) and boots.
June smiled and flipped the book to the front page. Then she gaped at
him, surprised.
" This is yours?"
" Yeah" She gave a little laugh.
" Goodness! and I thought I was the weird one here"
" Not sure if I want to be called that" June laughed and ran her fingers
through the book cover while Shayna tried to reflect the info through her
make-up mirror.
" Do you know that I have these very same stickers on the spine of my
book?"
" I know right? You can't just get enough of the creeps"
" 'Xactly!" June hollered, wide-eyed " I love horror and supernaturals but
I'll totally go for vam-fiction any day"
" Get outta town!" He yelped " Vamps are my first choice any day! I find
twilight by Stephanie Meyers a pure work of art"
" You've read twilight?" June screamed
" Every single series"
" OMG where've you been all my life?"
" Watching Edward kiss Bella into oblivion" Max said dreamily. Shayna
snuggled close to me and whispered:
" What the hell are they talking about? History homework?"
" Apparently, they're talking about novels" Dawn said, watching with
utmost concentration. Hell, who wasn't?
" Oh my God you've read breaking dawn too?"
" Yep. Watched it too. It's just, AMAY-ZING."
" Yeah" June said dreamily " Totally amazing. Here's your book" she said,
smiling and holding it out to him. He smiled back and tucked back into his
backpack.
" It was really nice talking to you. It really feels relieving to know that
I'm not the only weirdo around" She said.
" Not sure if that's a compliment but I'll take it" June laughed and tucked
her hair behind her ear.
" Hey, mind if we grabbed some lunch at the splatburgers after school"
" Sorry. My day's filled up. Maybe later"
" Sure yeah. Later" He smiled and walked off to his table. June spun round
and found us gaping at her with eyes as wide as saucers. She moved back
and held out her hand.
" What?"
" Are you nuts June?!" Dawn screeched " What was all that? See you
later? Seriously babe. Later?"
" What? What's wrong with what I said"
" Can't you see June? That guy's your other half. Believe me there's
nothing that could possibly calculate the possiblity of that happening in a
million years" I said.
" how could you June? You two are perfect for each other! He's into
romance and vampire-fiction! He reads!! And he's a guy!!! Where the heck
do you EVER get to see THAT?!" June sighed and plopped down on her
seat. i glared at her, exasperated.
" It's still Cameron guys so give it up"
" Barf!!!" We cried. After school, I thought about the possibilty of a
matchmake and watched june drool over Cameron in despair.
" What do we do about her?" Dawn moaned " She's getting worst by the
day"
"Did you notice how June looked when Max bumped into her"
"yeah. Her eyes went all gooey and her hands shaky" carlizza said " She likes
him that's for sure"
"And that's our trump card! they're perfect for each other but she's just too
obsessed with Cameron to see it"
"So?" Dawn persisted, yawning.
"So we have to make a matchmake!" Shayna squealed. I gave her a high five.
" 'Xactly. And we'll start from random things like bumping into each other
every time"
" Making them project partners"
" This is going to be SO fun!" Carlizza squealed.
" I know right. Who the hell are we?!" I cheered.
" Matchmakers to the rescue!" We hollered.
So, here's how the plan goes:
• Pitch June and Max to 'unintentionally' bump into each other. ( He,
he, he)
• Fix up fake dates for them that they won't realize they're actually
on a date.
• Make them bump into into each other even more and viola! they're a
couple!!
Monday morning we were so psyched at making our totally AMAY-ZING
plan work that we looked like complete dolts. Shayna'd wore a shirt
inside out, Dawn had toothpaste streaked all over her face, Carlizza's
hair was a mess while I wore mascara on my lips. We stared at ourselves
in our locker mirrors and then at our appalling faces. Dawn turned to me.
" We've really got to set this plan rolling Summer. If this suspense keeps
on too long, we'll have to spend every day in detention for looking like
nightmares"
" Agreed. Who's in for sloppy pizza?" I drooled as we headed off to
class.
"If this plan works, we're gonna have to change our names" Carlizza said,
nibbling at some non-fat graham crackers. Eww much?
"Which is?"
"The event planning committee and the matchmaking crew" We laughed.
" Cute"
" Totally today"
" Just... Love it!"
" Sounds possible" I said thoughtfully " And realistic"
" Uh-oh" Dawn whispered at Shayna " She's got that I-have-an-idea-face
again. Quick! Distract her Shay!"
"and now that you've mentioned it..."
" Hey Summer! Wanna check out those hot dog pizzas? Heard they're really
good" We did a mega-groan.
" Gosh Shay that is SO disgusting" Dawn said and Shayna shrugged.
" It's all I've got"
"Chill guys. I was just joking. I mean, my ideas aren't that bad"
" Oh really?" Dawn said, folding her arms. " Remember when you made up the
cleaning crew to save up for our dream christmas vacay?"
" Yeah that was a sucess!"
" No. IT was a DISASTER!"
" But I got it under control"
" Yeah. After we wrecked our clients house and had to hide in shayna's
basement and live off burgers and God knows-how-old chocolate"
" We still got the christmas of our lives"
" In Shayna's basement"
" Together"
"We fought throughout the whole time and Shayna nearly went cannibalistic on
us when we ran out of chocolates" Carlizza said, shuddering " Those were the
worst three days of my life"
" And I would never forget the taste of Carlizza skin" Shayna whispered, all
dark and creepy " Veggies are surprisingly sweet" Carlizza shuddered and
edged even farther away from her.
" Ok guys! No more Summer's-greatest-messes-of-a-lifetime-remembering.
Let's focus on getting Max and June together and then we'll have time to think
about the new crew"
"Summer!!!" They shrieked, making me laugh.
We had a few EXTREMELY BORING classes before brunch. First period
was Mr. Skates, the Geo teacher who practically makes us fall asleep with his
old tales of bravery and courage on Mount Everest. Does a delusional out-ofthe mill high school teacher and Colonel Tenzing even sound the tiniest bit
related to you. The dude probably couldn't survive high school. Believe me, 9
out of every 10 teachers in the american education system ARE messed up.
Second period was Math, the worst terror ever created by mankind to every
kid on earth. No matter how good you are, you just can't seem to know how x
and y gives you numbers or how X Times X is equal to an x with a 2 on top when
it's obvious that there are two x! With that, I could determine my sleeping
postion already.
Before brunch, I gave everyone their places. Shayna was too excited to
keep shut and still so I stuffed a ball of chocolate in her mouth and while she
worked at it, I spoke to Carlissa and Dawn.
"You're good at flirting Dawn"
"Is that a compliment?" She asked giggling.
"Not really" We laughed "Anyway as I was saying, you're a good flirt and I'
ve
watched Max for some time now to know that he always walks to lunch from
the arts and crafts hall which is like two long halls away from here"
'' That's pretty long. Why does he take such a long route?"
"Well I think he… Holy boy I don't even know. Do you think he's got another
center of attraction?"
"Hope not" Dawn muttered.
"Oh well, we won't delay assassinating any obstacle that blocks our way"
"Summer!" Carlizza said, giggling
"focus guys, focus. Now, Max's strange reason for taking the long way down is
pretty good and I have the perfect idea. You Dawn will walk up to him and chat
him up, preferably, talk about June. Tell him that June's really interested in
his songs, boring books and all and watch his reaction and note every look down.
Make him dream of June in his arms. Literally…"
"Oh well, I usually flirt with guys to make them dream of me in their arms you
know" Dawn said with a laugh. I eyed her.
"This is your friend's potential homecoming date and future BFF, best
boyfriend forever. Please, don't fall in love with this one"
"I sure won't"
"Alright so what do I do?" carlizza asked.
"Perfect. Since you're the nicer and friendlier one, you'll do the drudgery of
talking to Cameron" We did the barf sign and stink eye we gave each other
whenever we mentioned his name. He loves investigative, nerdy stuffs so tell
him about a robbery case or something extremely boring and give him a few
clues. Just keep him occupied and ensure you walk him straight to the
cafeteria"
"Yes" Shayna put up her hand.
"Yes Shayna?" She gulped, swallowing what was left of her chocolate.
"Well, I don't see how walking Max and Cameron here is gonna help June to the
dance"
"Listen Shayna I'm not done yet" I turned to Dawn "Now here's the plan. I'll
walk up to June, stall her around for a while you guys make the move.
Understood?"
"But how would you stop the line?" Dawn asked "You know June never jokes
with brunch. She's always in front of the line" I smiled, staring at Shayna "Now
that's where you come in. You'll create a distraction, a distraction that should
send the whole hall cracking and screaming, something that'll keep June
distracted and bring max and Cameron closer"
" And how the hell am I supposed to do that?"
"Just be yourself"
"So in the midst of the commotion, Shayna will creep up behind us and push
June forward but mind you, Max and Cameron must be within a very close
range. We must have a proper timing, at least 10 minutes before the main deal"
"So when June topples over, we'll see who catches her first. Max or Cameron"
Carlizza said excitedly, beaming "Brilliant! June's SO dancing her way to
homecoming!!"
"Yeah. It's like those stuff you watch in lifetime. The girl falls and the boy
catches her" Shayna chirped
"But now" Dawn added "We're fate"
"This is perfect! Wonderful in fact. June will thank us for this"
"Now, you all have watches right?" I asked
"Yep"'
"Set your watches at 10 minutes as soon as you see Max and Cameron and
please get here on time ok? Remember June's love life is terribly at stake" As
we walked or rather ran down the hall, we bubbled on and on about our roles
and how well we were going to pull it off.
"It feels like we're in a play or something" Dawn said.
"No! It's more like a super spy stuff, you know, like mission impossible" Carlizza
said
"And this movie is the most impossible of all impossible" Shayna said. Then she
turned to us. " One last thing though."
" Which is?" Dawn asked.
" Code names!" She shrieked and we all positively groaned.
" No code names Shay" I said " I beg y..."
" So you're... Summerling"
" #you don't know how gross that sounds?"
" Carlizza you're easter bunny" Carlizza held her hand and began to protest
when Shayna cut her off.
" And you Dawn, are lemonade cheese"
" Awww" she crooned " You shouldn't have" We got to the intersection, gave
each other jazz hands and hurried off in the opposite directions. Mine led to
the bathroom, Shayna's to the janitor's, Dawn to the boys locker room and
Carlizza's to French class. We ran back to each other again, gave each other
high-fives and took off in different directions again.
I ran into June right there and kissed my luck.
"Oh hey June!" I said, skidding up to meet her with like the sheepishest grin
ever "What's up?"
"The usual" I stepped into line with her
"Cameron?"
"Yeah. I tried to ask him about some projects after bio. He just ignored me"
"Why?"
"Don't know. It's the almost like he's terrified of me more than before. Before,
at least he used to smile a little but now once he sees me from afar, he starts
running" Uh-oh. Yeah I Summer Scotts Scarlet must have creeped the weasel
out the last time we spoke and I don't regret any inch of it.
"Oooooh! That's bad" She tried stepping in line but I held her back and looked
at my watch. Seven minutes left. Got to stall… Got to stall.
"Uh… June I want to tell you something. Something very personal"
"Alright then tell me. I want to be first in line. Besides where's Carlizza…"
"Like I said, I have some really personal issues" I stalled. She tried to move
forward but I held her back, pushing a wide-eyed boy in silly glasses to the line
and a few kids till the line was filled halfway with us right at the back. June
stared in front of us, frowning.
" Like I said, I have some personal issues"
" If it's about puberty then count me out"
" Eew June. Why the hell would I want to talk to you about that?"
" Don't know but I do know that we're going to starve off if we don't get into
the line"
" Ok, ok. I just wanted to talk to you about your relationship with Cameron"
"Just get into line first" June said, pushing me forward "So what's wrong with
it?"
"I think your relationship with him is just too one sided. More like obsession."
"What? That's totally not true!"
"Yes it is. And the sooner you realize it, the better. True love never hides"
"Um... Earth to Summer?"
"I mean what if you find someone who truly cares and loves you even better
than him…"
"There's no one in the world as caring as Cameron"
" Says the girl that's depressed because of him. When has he ever spoken to
you not to even talk of caring? I don't mean to be mean ( See what I did
there?) But you need someone who loves you. Who truly deserves you and sees
your worth. You gotta wake up girl. Wake up and take in the breeze of hot guys
walking you by"
I smiled when she began to reel off, talking about love being blind and all that
hidden love nonsense while I pushed more kids into the line in front of us.
Soon, we were way back with June talking about... Um...?
All in all, love's not blind. In fact, it's got two big eyes. Two large eyes with
wide tacky nerdy glasses up front.
I stared at my watch, barely listening to June. Two more minutes. I felt my
heart skip a beat.
" By the way where's everyone? Dawn, Shayn..."
" Hey look. Cameron!" She spun round as fast as lightning while I thought up a
quick distraction.
" What the heck Summer that wasn't Cameron..."
"Ow! Oh my leg!! Ow!!!" I yelled, hopping on one foot. Hopefully, that distracted
her and while she bent over to inspect it, I looked over her head at the piling
mass of students bursting into the hall and then back at my watch. With the
time was up and still no sign of Carlizza and Dawn anywhere, I panicked. The
line wore on gradually till June was only two people away from getting lunch.
Damn it Carlizza, Dawn where are you? Where are you? Come on out already!
Our plan had to work. It just had to.
And just when I thought it was all over, Dawn walked in, talking and hurrying
Max on. I turned to the right, spotting Carlizza and Cameron walking in too.
Carlizza looked like she'd been forced to swallow a full bag of dog poop while
Cameron rattled on endlessly. Carlizza sighed in exasperation and I mouthed
'sorry' at her, giggling softly as she did the universal barf sign. I definitely
know what it's like to listen to a proud buffoon for ten whole minutes cause I
live with one who's annoying name starts with H and ends with y. it's like
watching your brain boil on a kettle full of hot stones.
I gave carlizza and dawn a thumbs up and a small quirky smile. Shayna hurried
past me, standing in front of the wall. As soon as dawn and carlizza walked 2
feet close to June and I with Cameron and max, Shayna let out a heart rending
yell. All eyes turned on her.
" Attention everyone, There's a snake in the building!! I repeat there's a snake
in the building..." Yeah she didn't have to repeat that part twice. Everyone was
up and on their heels before you could say, Jack. Everyone shrieked. Even the
guys screamed like little girls. Shayna rushed up behind me and pushed June
forward as soon as soon Max and Cameron had eyes on her. I held my breath
and watched silently, playing back it all back in slow motion. I watched the
horrified look on Max's face and an indifferent one on Cameron's. I stood a
foot afar and watched max grab her by the arm, placing his hand around her
waist and holding her in mid-air. Time seemed to stop, minutes seemed to stop
rolling. The moment was wonderful, forget the chaos and confusion. It was
almost like what you saw in movies minus the invisible wind and all of a sudden
too romantic bullshit. June stared dreamily into those dark green eyes,
mesmerized. Oh lord! It was practically the best romantic scene ever. Squee!
and trust me, I definitely took a nice cute pic.
"Perfect Summer" Shayna whispered, watching them with a smile "Save it as
your screen saver summer. We can even use it as the EPC's new poster"
"June will have our heads for dinner Shayna"
"But oh isn't it just wonderful? I mean, just look at them. Aren't they like the
most perfect couple you've ever seen?"
"Aah.." We sighed watching them while the hall was in total chaos
"This is what happens when you're in love" I said dreamily "It just swallows you
whole"
"Uh…are you ok?" Max asked. June shook her head, all confused and awkward
at the same time. She stood straight, shook her shirt down and looked back at
Max.
"Uh… I'm fine"
"Are you…" They said together "Do you… What are you… Gosh!!" Suddenly they
stopped trying and burst into laughter. I watched June. Goodness gracious she
was blushing. And when I say blushing, I mean crazy silly blushing.
He pulled her back to her feet.
"Thanks anyway" She said softly, quietly in fact. This wasn't June. Aah. Love.
"So what do you think about the chaos?" Max asked "I mean does it feel real?"
"It's a fake alarm. I mean if that crap was even real, we'd be digesting by now"
Max laughed.
"Excuse me…" A small voice growled from behind. June spun round to face a
grumpy Cameron. He shuffled past her angrily, bounding down the hall.
Cameron was jealous? OMG! How the hell was that even possible?
June stared at him longingly and then reverted her gaze back to him.
"Uh… I guess I'll see you around then"
"Yeah… I'll see you around. Bye" He said, grinning. Then he walked away, leaving
June dazed and slightly confused.
"Seems like someone's crushing on someone" Dawn said slapping her on the
shoulder. June spun round to meet us, shocked.
"Uh… Have you guys been standing there the whole time?"
"Yes we have silly!" Shayna said, slapping her arm "We watched everything"
She cringed, turning red.
"You… You did?"
"Of course we did!" I said "We saw everything. You totally went gooey-eyed!!"
"But… But weren't you all outside after the snake alarm?"
"Not even death would make us miss this" Dawn said raising her brows.
"Ohhhh…!" Carlizza said "Someone's definitely crushing on someone's who's not
Cameron"
"That's not true!"
"It's totally true!" Dawn said "Can't you see? It's fate trying to bring you two
together"
"No it's not. Don't be so obnoxious Dawn. It's just an accident" Shayna flashed
her eyebrows at her.
" Reeeeeeeeeally…?"
"Shay…"
"Or reeeeeeeeeeally, reeeeeeeeally?"
"Ohhhh Shayna stop it already! Can we leave this place already?"
"Leave what?" Shayna said, looking around hungrily "When the hall's empty and
it's just you and delicious free-to-air and eat food, do you just LEAVE?"
We glanced at each other.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked
" Certainly what I'm thinking" Carlizza added, throwing her bag aside " Let's
get this party rockinnnnnnnn…!!!!"