"No way! You're actually reading Taoist books, kiddo. Are you planning on taking your exams or cultivating immortality?"
"The facts are right before our eyes, and you still say you're not a Living Immortal who can predict the future?"
Jiang Liuer, Sha Sheng, and Zhu Ganglie's shock immediately turned into admiration and worship; they almost wanted to kneel before Li Ping'an and worship him, their voices trembling as they said:
"Clown Li, no, Second Master Li, no, Immortal Li, Immortal Li, you really are an Immortal! Otherwise, why would you read such books?"
Li Ping'an rolled his eyes helplessly and responded casually:
"Can the three of you stop being crazy? People online say this to tease me, why are you three joining in the madness?"
"Come on, think with your heels - how could I possibly be an Immortal!"
"I'm telling you, it's all a coincidence! A coincidence! Understand?"
Jiang Liuer, Sha Sheng, and Zhu Ganglie immediately retorted:
"Cut the crap! You think we're fools? If it really was a coincidence, you acted like nothing was wrong when you heard the news, as if you had always known this was going to happen!"
"It really damn is a coincidence! How else do I have to explain it for you to believe me?"
Li Ping'an helplessly spread his hands; he still didn't want to expose his secret to others, fearing that if the authorities find out, they might take him to the Abnormal Human Research Center to be studied, so no matter who asked, he had to vehemently deny everything, never admitting the truth.
Knowing Li Ping'an's character as Jiang Liuer, Sha Sheng, and Zhu Ganglie did, if it were a false accusation, Li Ping'an would definitely cheekily admit it while laughing.
But Li Ping'an had been acting very abnormally since the incident occurred, the more seriously he explained, the more they believed him.
Jiang Liuer excitedly grabbed Li Ping'an's hand and pleaded:
"Immortal Li, considering how I've looked after you in the past, help me figure out if I can make a fortune after graduation?"
"Brother Chen, how can you, such a steady man, also join in with these two scoundrels?"
Zhu Ganglie, with his arm around Li Ping'an's shoulders, leered and said:
"Immortal Li, can you calculate whether I'll ever sleep with the female stars Da Tiantian, Da Mimi, Da Yuanyuan, Liang Feifei, Ping Nini... If you do, guess what? I'll cover your meals for the next three years, three times a day!"
"Father, you said it! But let's skip fortune telling; son really can't predict fortunes!"
Sha Sheng then placed her hand on Li Ping'an's chin, suddenly exuding charm and allure, temptingly said:
"Living Immortal, help me figure out whether my future boyfriend will be Eddie Peng or Daniel Wu, you know the saying, 'Brother, when you need a woman, I am that woman,' if you're feeling lonely and fiery tonight, I can sleep in a girlish voice and a Lolita outfit with you!"
"Sister Sha, you twisted sister, dockworker, drop dead already!"
Li Ping'an simply stood up and seriously explained to his brothers:
"I'm really not any kind of Living Immortal, nor can I predict the future or read fortunes; everything is purely coincidental, understand? A coincidence!"
Jiang Liuer, Zhu Ganglie, and Sha Sheng surrounded Li Ping'an, pressing closer step by step, finally cornering him:
"Second Brother, haven't I treated you well enough?"
"Father, do you want me to support you for a lifetime before you're willing?"
"Brother Ping'an, am I not seductive enough?"
Click, the dormitory door suddenly opened from the outside; everyone turned to look, and the newcomer was their counselor.
Counselor Bai Long, male, fair and handsome, 26 years old, stayed at the school as a counselor right after graduating from college, only a few years older than Li Ping'an and his group.
"You're throwing a wild party without inviting me?"
As soon as Bai Long entered, he noticed Li, who was flustered.
"No, counselor, what's brought your esteemed self here?"
Jiang Liuer, Zhu Ganglie, and Sha Sheng paused their assault on Li, moving chairs, pouring water, and inviting him inside.
"Tsk tsk tsk! You flirt, your pajamas are getting more and more pinkish!"
Counselor Bai Long was escorted in by Sha Sheng, who coyly whispered in his ear as they entered:
"Counselor, I recently bought a very sexy swimsuit, care for a private viewing?"
"Enough, I don't have time for you today, if you're angry, go vent somewhere else!"
After entering the dorm, Counselor Bai Long glanced at Li Ping'an, Jiang Liuer, Zhu Ganglie, and Sha Sheng, finally fixing his gaze on Li:
"All four mischief makers are here, then I'll make it short…"
Jiang Liuer, Zhu Ganglie, and Sha Sheng were no fools, and quickly realized Counselor Bai Long was here because of the incident between Li and the female anchor Zhou Shufenzi, so they shifted their focus to Li.
"Li Ping'an, you've really made it, transforming from the school's famous clown to a online mystic who promotes superstitious feudal beliefs right in our campus!"
"This time you've really put our school in the spotlight, people in the know think it's Hehuang University; those who don't think it's Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"
Jiang Liuer, Zhu Ganglie, and Sha Sheng's hunch was right and they immediately distanced themselves from Li to dump the blame, standing next to Counselor Bai Long to criticize him:
"Exactly, exactly, I knew something was off with you today, all mystical and muttering."
"Insisting we go out to eat, then encountering that female anchor, you must have planned it all along!"
"Although we share a room and are like father and son, every issue should be addressed individually. Don't try to cozy up, just explain yourself properly and try for lenient treatment from the school!"
Seeing his roommates' shameless responses, Li Ping'an quickly explained:
"Counselor, you mean the incident where female anchor Zhou Shufenzi got hit by a car? Listen to me…"
"I know you too well. I can guess what you're going to say just by the way you arch your back, that smooth-talking mouth of yours; you're going to say it has nothing to do with you, right?"
Counselor Bai Long continued:
"Enough, enough, I don't want to hear your nonsense. The police will be here soon, talk to them..."
"The police?"
Upon hearing this, Li frowned deeply, sensing trouble, and asked anxiously:
"Really? Why involve the cops? Is it really that serious?"
Jiang Liuer, Zhu Ganglie, and Sha Sheng also realized the situation was more serious than they thought. Normally it was just jokes, but they couldn't abandon a brother in trouble, so they all stepped in to defend Li:
"Exactly, exactly, all Li Ping'an did was curse someone nasty, he didn't kill or rob anyone!"
"He wasn't harassing any decent women, tell the cops to go back."
"He doesn't have cross-dressing tendencies, he didn't embarrass himself outdoors, did he?"