"A Spectator carries their own grief to the end of the story, Alive or Dead, but they still stand strong for their own loved ones"
Kazuki Tenshi
Age: 25
"Gone but not forgotten."
"Forever in our hearts"
On the day of the funeral
Many people attended; some I knew and others I did not.
Acquaintance and colleague of my parents
Friend of my brother
Some of my friends and classmates also came.
Left and right, all I could hear was-
"I'm sorry for your loss."
"Condolence"
"We're saddened by the news."
"May the soul of Kazuki rest in peace."
"Heartfelt condolences"
-They won't stop; they don't know when to stop. I want to shout 'Stop'.
The gaze that they are giving me—the comfort, the pity—it's suffocating.
I'm being immature; I know that.
I cry my heart out. The death of my brother Kazuki had a big impact on my life. I will never be the same as before; a part of me died with my brother.
On the day of the burial, I cried like there was no tomorrow. All the intense emotions I felt, I released them. I mourned the sadness, the guilt, and the anger. Never in my whole life have I felt all this overwhelming emotion.
The sadness of losing my one and only brother, my pillar
The guilt as I should be the one who died; I should be the one lying in the coffin; it should be me, my brother.
I am angry at the teenager who did this. I want to destroy him, crush him, and make him feel this pain, but I cannot bring myself to do it.
Mother cried until she might pass out, Father grieved silently, and I burst into tears.
The entire time I watched my brother's casket lay, slowly covered in the ground.
"Brother, rest in peace."
A day passed.
A week,
A month,
And a half-year passed.
Slowly, it's still hurt, but we are learning to overcome our sadness, we move on, and our family is healing.
Another half-year passed.
Maybe the world hates me.
One day, someone informed me that my mother and father had an accident—a car accident. At the arrival of the ambulance, my parents were already dead.
They are always late.
The same thing happened again.
The Gaze
The funeral
The burial
The Grief
I was surprised at how quickly I collected myself, maybe because I had gotten used to it; it was bad thing to get used to.
The world continues to run as if it doesn't care about my feelings; maybe it doesn't.
Still, I'm strong. My brother supports me, my father teaches me, and my mother guides me. The memories we as a family shared keep me moving forever; they will remain in my heart.
One day, everything went dark.
*****
In a dark place where no light could be seen, a young man was sleeping. A single teardrop rolled down his cheeks.
His name is Aiko Tenshi.
And now he's whole.