[Warning: Sexual content.]
***
Fade-stepping home so she couldn't be followed, she was relieved to find their house empty. She needed time to think, or rather accept her circumstances again. Sitting in Cullen's large chair, she leaned back staring deep into the central fire pit. Mesmerized by the flames, she let her mind wander.
Time stilled for her as she thought about things more seriously than before. Everything seemed to always be a ways off until suddenly the day was upon her; their knotting for instance had been decided months in advance, but it never felt real until she was standing at the end of the aisle with Owayne. She didn't mind the fact of having to "mate" with Cullen, in fact, she looked forward to it, but she would be remiss if she didn't want to battle first before starting a family. Was that not a perfectly rational thing? And if impregnating her was a tradition on their "wedding night," then Cullen would be expecting as much. Would he be ready? As of late, all their conversations had been about the recovery of him and the Hold.
Just then, the door creaked open and Mia stepped in quietly. "Apologies sister, I didn't know you were here. I came to collect the laundry while everyone was out." The past few days, Owayne had been taking Branson and Cullen down to the training yard for some light exercise.
"It's alright… actually, can I ask you something? A marriage question?" Straightening, the blonde looked weary but moved to sit on a chair near her. Mia's back was to the fire, casting her face in shadow. Raising her eyebrows expectantly, Evelyn took it as a sign to continue, "How… long did it take after your knotting to become pregnant?"
The eldest Rutherford didn't seem pleased by her question. "About eight months, but it's different for everyone. I had not been blessed by the Lady of the Skies."
Evelyn let out a noisy exhale, rubbing a hand down her face, "That's what I was afraid of."
"Evelyn!" Mia angrily yelled, surprising the Phoenix, "You should be thankful for such a gift! Some women become pariahs due to their inability to grow a child in their womb. In some Holds, they cast out the impotent, man and woman alike!" Venom seeped from her words, "Husbands drag wives before the Thane to shame them publically for their inability to do the one thing only women are capable of creating life. And you're afraid?!" Mia bit back her anger, making Evelyn hold up her hands to halt the tirade, failing. "I didn't take you as one to shirk their duty. Every Avvar must keep our traditions alive, something my husband died for! You spit on his memory and all those we've lost by being so selfish. And don't you dare use the excuse that you didn't know because you were a naïve Circle mage!"
A wave of fury heated her mana pumping lava through her glowing veins, "I'm not afraid of having a child, what I am fearful of is not fulfilling the prophecy before this plague of red lyrium, not to mention the taint from the Blight, takes over the Basin and I'm too heavy with child to stop it! It has nothing to do with Cullen or neglecting my duty!" Evelyn shot up and Mia stood too meeting her sister-in-law's raptor glare, "But I'm glad I didn't get to explain further before you once again demonstrated your lack of faith in me."
Mia's eyes narrowed, her expression hardening like tempered steel. "We are on the brink of extinction… what is there to think about?! Why should your insignificant feelings about it matter at all? The women of the Basin mourn their emptiness, and would anything to change that, while you sit here on your arse, bless as can be, complaining about your luck—"
"Mia!" Having entered unnoticed, he strode angrily to her, "How dare you speak to my wife and the Lady of the Hold with such callousness!"
The blond widow did not shy away, "Well, your wife is afraid of doing her duty by giving the clan new life! In fact, she'll be responsible for giving all the Avvar the ability to conceive again, and here she stands selfishly thinking solely of her fragile feelings!"
The Thane didn't even look at Evelyn, stepping close to Mia growling through his teeth, "That is none of your concern. How about you take your own advice on one's duty and find another husband who will put up with your righteousness."
A vicious whisper slithered between them, "Right, just like how you did after your wives died. No, instead you moped about like a bloody Lowlander coward!"
Evelyn's heart was pounding, letting her words escape her, "Sweet Skymother…" All of her previous anger fled in favor of gut-wrenching terror. Time slowed as she watched her husband's hand swing back, but instinctively she pushed Mia away, countering his strike easily with her arms. Holding his wrist, she squeaked out, "Cullen?!" They all froze, wide-eyed and breathing heavily. As the three processed what was happening, reason thankfully began to intervene. Cullen blinked over at his wife shamefully before falling face-first into her embrace. Her fingers massaged his hair and shoulders, as she felt his skin go cold and clammy. Turning her head to Mia who looked unnerved, she nodded without a word to the door and she quickly left.
Alone, Cullen's form was leaning heavier on her, and his large hands raked her as if trying to ball her up in his arms. His head rested under her chin and she squeezed him tighter, realizing that his restlessness was coming from emotional pain. Walking backward, she dragged him with her into their bedroom, lest Branson or Owayne return and see them in such a state. She couldn't help the tears that trickled down her cheeks, losing them a moment later in his blonde hair.
In their bedroom, they fell onto the bed never parting. With a swirl of her finger around the room the candle lit the dark space and its furniture in its lament light. After a long time of just breathing against each other, Evelyn spoke so softly, even she had trouble hearing herself, "I'm sorry, that was all my fault."
He picked his pale head up, "That was not your fault, my love."
"It was a misunderstanding, I made my question unclear and she just…" She swallowed hard.
"What question?" His tired amber eyes searched hers as they lay on their sides, nestled against the heavy pelts on their bed.
"I asked her how long it took her to get pregnant." Evelyn kept her eyes busily viewing the details of his maroon shirt, unable to meet his gaze. "She misunderstood my reaction to her reply as if I was planning on shirking my duty, and well… you heard the rest."
After a deep breath, she felt the warmth of his body return as he lay in silence for a short period. "And… what was it that you truthfully meant?"
"I… was concerned of becoming too heavy with child before the Grey Wardens arrive. Depending on when they get here it could cause a problem. And I wouldn't want to endanger… our baby."
Cullen sucked in a sharp breath, nodding, "Tradition is clear, would you risk the wrath of The Lady of the Skies? Especially since she blessed you?" A shiver ran up her spine at the thought of seeing the ghastly woman again, let alone suffering her ire. She hadn't told him what the Hold Spirits had said, so it seemed everyone was telling her the same thing. Trust the gods, endure, or perish. "Historically, Avvar women who are carrying have shown great strength, resilience, and bravery. Some of the most famous heroines have fought in battle pregnant."
Evelyn looked incredulously at him, "Good on them, my love, but I will tell you now, I will not be one of those women. Besides, I was not born Avvar, and from what I've heard, pregnant women are always tired, sore, and stuffing their faces with whatever they please. Who's to say I won't be the same way?"
"I don't believe you, the Phoenix, would never be so irksome. No, you'd take after the Avvar as you've shown time and time again. I have had experience with this."
Finally, she laughed, "Oh, my poor delusional husband." She rolled on her back with her arms above her head beside her thick braid. "In my experience, my temper and my stomach usually win out over everything. If anything, I'll be a raging hothead gobbling up our winter stores."
Chuckling along with her, he rolled on top of her, propping himself up on his elbows. "So, it won't be very different from any other day then."
"Hey!" She swatted at him playfully from below, their earlier gloom drifting away with their laughter. As it did, it was as if his words stirred her whirlwind of thoughts into a clearer picture. Stopping, her voice turned thoughtful, "Maybe we should just… trust in this crazy plan the gods have for us?"
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that if they believe the time is now to," she sheepishly traced a finger up and down his bicep, "have a child, maybe we should?" After her words, a jittery pang of excitement and nervousness speared her belly. After what the Hold Spirits had told her, maybe it was best to just let it happen. She continued to distract herself, not wanting again to see his initial shock at it. "If you're not ready--"
He cut her off, skipping the polite kiss for a deep open-mouthed one. His tongue twisted and danced with hers desirously. Pulling back, he leaned to one of her ears, "I am ready."
"What of your trauma? I don't want to trigger it again," she whispered worriedly.
"Despair holds no power over me now," their eyes met, and she saw the resolve burning in them, "I've come to terms with my past. I will not let them hold us back from happiness." Staring off to the side, she couldn't help the emotions brought to bear. "But what is really troubling you, my Lady? I can see it plain as day on your face. I'm yours; you need not keep things from me."
Swallowing hard, she blinked back some wetness forming in her eyes. Her voice suddenly was hoarse and meek, "I don't want you to leave me after our three years." She pushed him up slightly so she could unbutton her shirt, pointing to the marks and explaining their meanings to him. "We are to have three children, Cullen." A teary smile tugged at her lips, but he was frozen in shock still looking at the symbols.
His hand brushed against her skin as if any more would damage her. "Three?" His voice was one of quiet astonishment, "We will be blessed with three?"
She nodded, "Yes, but Cullen… I love you, but the thought that myself and our children would have to leave..." A tear escaped her and she quickly swiped it away with a sniffle. The glow and softness of Cullen's face were enough to dam the rest of her tears. It was such a profound expression and feeling that their bond markings pulsed with a gentle light.
He smiled that rare radiant smile, threatening to make her melt into a puddle of longing. "I too feared you'd want to leave and I can't bear the thought. I know it's a ways off and much can happen but, I do wish to bond with you for life, if you'll have me. We'll raise our children and leave a legacy for them together. It's not the Avvar way, but you've been forced to do everything our way, that we ought to do something like Lowlanders for once."
She partly sobbed her reply with a matching resplendent smile, "I would like that very much!" Embracing, Evelyn couldn't remember a time she had been so relieved and happy. Though as he said, a lot could happen in three years, she couldn't imagine anything worse happening than they've already been through. His answer was enough to quell the worry in her gut, and with his desire to bond for life now known to her, this changed everything.
Closing her eyes, the planes of his muscular body added physical sensations to her heightened emotional state. Her natural response to his skin on hers was always instant, especially as she felt him hardening against her leg. He was feeling it too. She rolled her hips as much as she could beneath him, and he responded by nipping at her neck.
"I fear I'm not in fighting shape to roll you properly yet, my Phoenix."
She smiled again, chuckling at his insinuation, "Who said you had to do anything?" He paused, moving to gaze at her curiously. "All I require from you, husband, is that you lay here. Are you fit for that?" Evelyn cocked an eyebrow up, watching his scarred lip smirk up.
Moving to lay in the middle of the bed, she could see there was lingering soreness in his bones, but it would not hinder her designs for them. With him comfortably watching her, she slipped off the bed removing her clothing while holding his gaze. With each piece shed, he touched himself, twitching beneath the confines of his pants and humming his approval each time more skin was revealed. His eyes drank her in like a man dying of thirst. She could tell he wanted so badly to just pounce her, growling and cursing at his limitations.
Walking on the tips of her toes quietly back to the bed, she climbed up straddling his thighs. A lithe finger traced gently up the ridgeline rising from his pants, "I wonder if you ever dreamed of my mouth around you?"
His reply was husky and low, "More times than I'd care to admit."
"Good," she hummed, pushing his shirt up while laying gently over him, taking him by the bottom lip. Their mouths sparred back and forth for dominance, Cullen not used to being at the mercy of her. It seemed he was taking what he could in his recovering state, and she'd let him win that round. Surrendering her throat to him, she took in his oakmoss scent greedily as he ravaged her with his mouth.
When her neck began to ache, she grasped his strong jaw to halt him. Sitting back, she wasted no time untying his pants and pulling them down to his knees. His thick manhood sprang free, throbbing from being constrained. Gentle at first, she pumped and circled its head with her thumb. Her other hand tickled and massaged his balls gently. Evelyn watched his reactions carefully, committing to memory what he liked. Cullen watched her as if she was a halla playing teasingly with a hungry lion. Her eyes admired the taut muscles covered in his darker hair the lower her view swept. His thighs were as solid as rocks, making it a welcome challenge to straddle.
Bending, her lips kissed the tip of his cock, never breaking eye contact with the lion. Pausing, she watched his breath hitch when she took him fully in. His eyes shut and his head fell back, reveling in her attentions, "Korth's breath, Eve!" She smiled against him before actually beginning in earnest to suck on him. His hips bucked at her as much as they could, but she brought him to heel with her tongue and added a hand on his shaft.
Even as deep as she could take him, he was still too large for her, so with a firm squeeze, her mouth and hand worked in harmony to bring about his pleasure. When the telltale signs of his end began, she stopped and mounted him to his surprise. Her legs bore the brunt of her weight so she wouldn't hurt him, as she impaled herself down on him.
Once fully seated inside, her muscles worked him back up to the brink. His hand flew to her clit working feverishly so they could come together. It had been quite some time since she had such pleasure and his calloused thumb had her breathing salacious curses quickly.
Moaning shamelessly riding him, her thoughts began to ebb from her lips, "Spill into me, fill me with your seed! I will give you children worthy of your name!" There was a brief flash of astonishment across his face, before igniting him with ardent passion. Evelyn shivered at the look, breathlessly imagining what he would've done had he been fully recovered. Even her mana sparked along with the bond marking surprising them both.
Cullen's desperation to want to fuck harder imbued his words with possessiveness, "By the gods, woman, I want to watch you swell with my child!"
"Yes, Cullen! Fuck--" Everything hit her at once in a searing rapture. Evelyn cried out, writhing atop him as she felt him explode within her. Having never had a man come in her, the feeling of it alone is what sent her hot euphoric satisfaction.
Falling over, she lay beside him holding his hand tightly. After a minute of reprieve, he kissed it, "Gods, I love you. Never leave me, Eve. Never." There was a hidden desperation in his voice that told her that despite moving past his trauma, the scars would forever be there. The fear and doubt would plague him until he held his breathing child and her warm hand.
"I promise, my love." Reveling in the warmth sitting within her, her free hand reached reflexively for her belly. Upon touching it, Hakkon's gift illuminated and she wondered if it was simply by coincidence.