Chereads / Dragon Age: The Advent of the Phoenix / Chapter 9 - Chapter 9: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Chapter 9 - Chapter 9: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Cullen had kept all of his promises, working tirelessly with messengers as updates came and went regarding finding a Grey Warden and meeting with the Thanes. He wasted no time when it came to these matters, for trying to find a Warden proved more difficult than they originally thought. Of the legendary warriors already in the Deep Roads, the ones who had been there had heard their Calling, and were facing their final battle against the Blight. He kept her well informed, and through their work, she began to have a new respect for him. The way he delved into work, no matter the task, he did so with enthusiasm and youthful energy. When he sat on the dais to hear the concerns of his people, no problem was too minor for him to weigh in on.

 

Still trying to assimilate into their society, she attended these meetings to acquaint herself with daily life in the Hold. On a few occasions, attention was directed to her when the people complained of failing crops and tainted water. The Thane assured them that they were working on the situation, even going so far as to explain to them why the land was tainted and what their solution was. In her homeland, knowledge equaled power, and the less informed the population, the more control the nobility exerted, as the uneducated masses feared the unknown and submitted to their rulers.

 

If more of the nobility and the Chantry took the time to educate the people on matters, then perhaps mages would not be as feared. No, that wasn't her world or problem anymore. She had made a go of it, to make life better for mages, but the Hold Spirits made it clear all she did was make enemies, not progress.

 

While she waited for news of a Grey Warden and word from the Thanes, they had made advances clearing their land of the Blight's taint, remaining vigilant of new spread. Using the mark given to her by Hakkon, fields were cleansed in the hope that come spring there would be new growth. For everyone, that was the hope they needed to get through the last push of winter as stores grew low.

 

In the meantime, Evelyn settled into a routine of domesticity caring for her home. She enjoyed the company of her friends more and more as the Avvar culture was based around strong clan ties. Ros was always a welcome guest, finding meaning through their recent test of trust in sharing secrets. She added her knowledge to the mages' collective, having the most updated practices and theories from the Lowlands. Even Dorian found it within himself to be interested in what she had to offer.

 

Rylen and Cassandra took turns helping her train in case she ever found herself in need of escape again. They taught her how to move and a few tips on survival out in the Basin. Early each day, they'd start with drills to improve her footwork and end with a long endurance run. Each week she felt herself improve, able to push herself harder and harder.

 

"You're doing well lass. Keep this up and you'll be runnin' circles 'round us."

 

She bent down and took a handful of water from the cool brook, "I couldn't have done it without you, I feel more confident now that I could keep up with you gods forbid we are ever on the run again."

 

"The tricky part will be keepin' up with it. It's easy to make excuses not to practice a few times a week. I suggest findin' someone to train with, Cassandra for instance, or--"

 

"Or me," the two turned surprised to see the Thane, "either way you shouldn't go alone."

 

"You could stand me for that amount of time?" A cheeky smile curled her lips up. When they weren't working, she was incessantly teasing him.

 

"What better incentive is there than to run away from you," they all laughed and she made a face as if she was shocked and offended. "I wondered if you finished the letter to your father? I have a man who is going to take it to a dwarven merchant who is traveling north."

 

"I do, give me a moment to fetch it," she ran off in the direction of her humble home with excitement at finally getting to contact her kin. The content of the letter weighed heavy on her mind hoping, praying her father would understand. She thought she struck a nice balance between telling him the far-fetched truth and a white lie:

 

Dear Father,

 

I hope this letter finds you in good health and not too cross with me. Let me assure you that I'm alive and well living amongst the Avvar, though I cannot chance to tell you in what Hold I reside in case this letter is intercepted.

 

I'm sure this letter comes to you as a surprise, but I felt I owe you an explanation, as I'm not sure what the Knight-Commander has told you of my alleged "escape." While in the Frostback Basin during our first week, a group of hostile Avvar attacked our camp, killing everyone and then attempting to kidnap me. With my comrades dead I was forced to run, but ended up being taken in by one of the clans for protection from the hostile Avvar. The Avvar believe that my coming was foretold in a prophecy to end their misfortune, which is why they tried to kidnap me. And while it all seems far-fetched, the Avvar people do not seem to have a mage of my particular talents among them. Despite my own trials, I've found purpose with them and am committed to helping them.

 

I won't lie, at first I resisted and did everything in my power to try and return to you. The Thane, who I now consider a friend, was quite ready to tie me up, but he and I have since learned to play nice - you know how I can get when I put my mind to something! In the end, knowing that there was no way I could come home without receiving the harshest of punishments, I've accepted my new life and clan. I've met good, hard-working people who do not judge me for what I am. Mages are treated just as anyone else here. I'm free to live a full life with the freedoms that would've been denied me in the Circle.

 

I'm not sure when or if I can ever see you again, but please know that you're in my thoughts always. I miss you all terribly, but please do not mourn for the loss of my old life, for I am free to spread my wings now. I trust that you will do with this knowledge what you feel is best, and I will endeavor to stay in the good graces of the Thane so I can send you more letters in the future. I love and miss you so much words cannot convey their depth.

 

Your loving daughter,

Evie

 

After returning to the men, who were still conversing, Cullen was eyeing her amusingly, "Excited, are we?"

 

She had no idea she was beaming at handing over the letter, "Very, even though I'll never hear back, just to know that they've gotten it is enough to clear my conscience."

 

"So, there's a whole gaggle of troublesome Trevelyans out there? Have any sisters?" Rylen wiggled his eyebrows at her.

 

She smacked his arm, knowing all too well his heart was quite taken, "Two older ones, but they're married and they are the well-behaved ones. As is my eldest brother. My closest sibling, Owayne, now he's as much trouble as me. Most people think we're twins but he is two years older." A fond smile and a far-off stare had her deep into old memories. When the Thane cleared his throat, she snapped out of it, "Thank you again for doing this. I know you have so much you're trying to wrestle with, I appreciate it." As they smiled at each other, there was a strange warmth in his gaze. She was unsure why but it heated her face as she basked in its subtle tenderness.

 

"It's my pleasure, Trevelyan. I'll hand this off right away," with a nod to them both, she watched him leave full of anticipation.

 

Rylen came to stand next to her, "I'm glad you two are gettin' along. He's a good man, truly."

 

"Your loyalty speaks volumes. Watching him perform his duties within the Hold has given me a new admiration for him. It seems all he does is work."

 

"Aye, sometimes it's hard for me to pull him away for an evenin'."

 

"Everyone needs a break, even him. I don't suppose work and duty is the reason he's unwed?"

 

His face turned to one of sympathy, "No. If he had a wife, she'd be one lucky woman. He'd move heaven and earth for her."

 

"From what I gathered, he was married. What happened?"

 

"It's not a tale for me to tell, as it's a right painful one. I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready." A thoughtful silence fell as Cullen disappeared into the village bustle. "Speakin' of women, any chance you're stay over with Ros again?" His sly smile broke the tension and she swatted him again with a chuckle.

 

"You're a good man too, Rylen. Ros is lucky to have you. Any chance come Wintersend there will be an announcement?"

 

He smiled, "Lady willin', we find a way to tell Cullen. I don't want to take her away from him when he needs her most with everythin' going on."

 

"Not many men would have the patience to wait. You're a true friend."

 

"What about you, any men strike yer fancy?"

 

"Like the Thane, there's much to do. I'm happy with my newfound purpose for the time being. I fear I wouldn't have the time to give him the attention he'd need." He shrugged at her and the two meandered back to the village to begin the day.

 

 ***

"Thane, you cannot wait much longer."

 

He raked his fingers through his blonde and slightly graying hair pacing in front of the ethereal fire of the Hold. "No, I promised her I would not do that. We have many irons in the fire, and this, now, is not possible!" Rarely did he have to argue with the Hold Spirits, but this was utterly absurd and badly timed.

 

"Then you forfeit your title. The Land of Dreams whispers of her coming capture and forced union with another. This is but a thread in the woven fabric of time, albeit the most vibrant and thus the most likely of outcomes."

 

"If you will not do what is best for the clan, selfishly allowing others to take her away, then you must step down."

 

"Who's coming for her? Why can't I simply protect her from being abducted?"

 

The Warrior spoke up, "It matters not who comes for her, for if you fail, the Phoenix will come back to destroy us! Even then you will still be Thane of nothing. Would you doom us all simply to protect your family's legacy? This cannot be allowed to transpire!"

 

"I don't believe Evelyn would do such a thing."

 

"No, she would not, but under the influence of evil, she would have no choice," Wisdom's calming voice brought the conversation back to a reasonable tone.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"The land is not the only thing that was tainted by the darkspawn. The veins of the Mountain-Father have been corrupted as well. The firebird should be wary of such a danger as should all of the Hold's mages."

 

Cullen wiped a hand down his face, "And all of this is why I have to marry her?"

 

"She requires the protection of a name, be it yours or someone else who will hold the title of Thane within the clan," the leathery face of the old woman stated matter-of-factly.

 

"A name? How will that--"

 

"Boy, you try my patience! Have we ever steered you wrong in the eight years you have led our people? Do we not deserve your respect?" She rose up scowling down at him like an old crow, "A name and the title of Lady of the Hold will give her immunity from harm as she goes about the Basin to cleanse the land. The Thanes and their people would not risk war with us by harming her, with the exception of Wolf-Fang Hold. She should not go there without ample protection even with her new abilities." He sighed at the rationale knowing that they were right. The Avvar people would respect the title in all of its aspects; its high rank within their society, the wisdom one in leadership possesses and the fact that should harm befall her the whole of Redhold would be at their gates demanding blood retribution. She was also fulfilling the prophecy to save them from the brink of extinction. Even if they had wanted to claim her for their own, bellies full of food and babes were considerably better than none.

 

At seeing him deflate, the Augur placed a hand on his shoulder, "I know this is not easy for you, and while I know you do not wish to betray the trust which you've built with her, what you're truly afraid of letting someone else into your life at the risk of losing them again." His words brought on a pained look laced with anger. It was not their way to mourn the circle of life and death, nor hold a grudge against nature as he had done all these years. He should've mourned and then moved on, but after the death of two wives in the same manner, he had given up. And giving up had brought him to this point. "You are a good Thane and have a big heart, talk to the Phoenix. She may understand."

 

The old traditional crow in her ceremonial feathers, took on a more mothering tone, "You have a decision to make young man. Wed the Phoenix or relinquish your title."

 

"How much time do I have to decide?"

 

"Prophecy and fate are slippery things, it is hard to say, but something is stirring. I would say you have until the Wintersend feast before fate will come to claim her if you do not."

 

 ***

That night, in need of a drink and friendly advice, Cullen met with Rylen and Dorian at the Mead Hall. He had yet to tell his two closest friends of the problem he faced and found that with time running out, something needed to be done.

 

"Aye, I knew somethin' was troubling ye," Rylen replied after he told them what the Hold Spirits advised. "She's not an Avvar, which makes it more difficult to guess how she'd react if you just explained things to her."

 

Dorian smoothed out his mustache, "You two certainly have the bickering of a wedded couple down. Where she and I are from, there is a period of courtship with gifts and grand gestures of "love." Of course, as nobility, an arranged marriage is not a foreign idea to her."

 

"Yes, but on our way home from rescuing her from Stone-bear Hold, I told her I'd never force her to do that. Based on how she's reacted in the past, she won't take well when I take it back." He pinched the bridge of his nose, massaging circles at the headache this was giving him.

 

"Well, it seems your options are to speak with her about it and perhaps come to an arrangement, force her to marry you, or the less likely, make her fall madly in love with you." Cullen gave the mage a sour look. "Pray tell, what exactly are the stakes here?"

 

"I lose my Thaneship and risk losing her to another clan." Both men sat back sharing a look of shock. He decided to omit the part about dooming them all for now.

 

"Why didn't ye say something before? Korth's beard, you've been given challenges in the past to test your leadership, but to make you step down…" he trailed off looking towards the doors as the woman herself accompanied by Ros, Cassandra, Ilara and Dhara entered. Cullen quickly looked away, taking a large swig of mead. He had planned on talking through his problem tonight, not confronting it.

 

"Well isn't this a happy coincidence. Now's your chance to grow some balls and talk to the woman." Cullen couldn't help but groan and slump his head into his arms on the table.

 

"Drunk already dear brother?" Ros placed a hand on his shoulder giving a smile to everyone at the table. He picked himself up and gave her a pointed look, "I was only joking, you never let yourself have any fun."

 

"What are you up to tonight?" He asked flatly.

 

"It happens to be Evie's birthday! We all dragged her out to celebrate. She's none to pleased but that's nothing some mead can't fix!"

 

Dorian uncrossed his legs and sat up, "Let us know when she's a few cups in, maybe by then our charming Thane will be able to speak with her."

 

"Oh," Rosalie's voice quieted a bit and she leaned down conspiratorially, "is this about what the Hold Spirits said?" He trusted his family, and one night over supper he told all three of the ultimatum handed to him.

 

"You told Ros, but not me?" Rylen frowned and he and Ros began an odd exchange of looks to which he just wearily shrugged at.

 

"I'll let you know when she's had a few and has forgiven us all for making such a big deal out of tonight." She scurried away to the bar as he began to protest, but it went unheard. He finished the contents of his tankard and sat back looking none too pleased. To make matters worse, he caught sight of Aysel sipping from her cup and staring desirously at him.

 

Since the last time he and Trevelyan had been seen together in the hall, Aysel had increased her presence around him. It wouldn't be so difficult to tolerate her if she wasn't trying so hard. It was if she always tried to tell him what he wanted to hear with no genuine thought or opinion. The way she watched him at times, as she was doing now, did make his blood pump hotter, but the betrayal of her wedding vows during her marriage to Bran was quick to cool his veins. The night she so brazenly slipped into his bedroom and into bed with him without a care was the last night he ever left his doors unlocked while she lived under his roof. Though nothing happened, she was quick to want a separation from him when their two-year commitment was over. As a free woman, there was nothing to stand in her way from pursuing him even as he rejected her time and time again. He wondered if she was purposely trying to wear him down in the hopes that one day he'd snap enough to do the unthinkable.

 

The laughter and cheers of the women celebrating broke him from his thoughts and he gazed at the woman sheepishly holding her mug up to join the others in cheers. In contrast, Trevelyan always spoke her mind and was quick to challenge him. She was fiercely loyal, having resisted him when she had first come to the Hold, but had also proved to be open-minded when the truth presented itself. If her conversion away from Andrastianism was any indication of her ability to live like an Avvar, to adapt or perish, she would prove to be wise. The biggest differences between her and his past two wives was her ability to fight and that she was a mage. Most Avvar women knew how to wield a blade in self-defense, but in the past, he had always been the protector of his women. They had been groomed to defend the home and Hold, rather than take the fight to their enemies. The Phoenix was surely capable of both and potentially more. If the scars about her face and the prominent one scored on her collarbone were any indication of the battles she survived then she was as formidable as the Spirits claim her to be.

 

As the evening wore on and he still had no intention of speaking with her about marriage tonight. But when he saw her alone at the bar, he knew he needed to at least take the opportunity to speak with her when he could in the hope that maybe he could help her understand eventually what was at stake.

 

"And what to do I owe this pleasure, oh illustrious Thane?" She was clearly feeling the effects of the mead, and he just shook his head chuckling at her endless sass.

 

"I wanted to pass on my well wishes for your birthday," he tried to conjure a charming smile, but the disbelief in his mind that he was actually attempting to woo her made it falter.

 

"Ros gave up my secret then? Hmph. What's this you're doing with your face?"

 

Slightly mortified for a second, he posed a question back, "What am I doing?"

 

"Smiling. You never smile at me." He could only stutter a few words before she cut him off, "It's a nice change, I'll take it as my birthday present."

 

"As you wish," he replied with a genuine smile. There was a glimmer in her eyes as she unabashedly studied his face.

 

"What brings you here tonight?" She leaned slightly over flirtatiously, and he blushed at having her full undivided attention. She wore a navy dress with embellishments about her shoulders and chest. The neckline was wider than it was deep showing off the scar on her collarbone that he had just been musing on. He found himself noting that she didn't need to wear revealing clothing as some women preferred, for her feminine curves more than made up for her Lowland propriety.

 

"I, um--"

 

"Evelyn dear, may I offer a toast to your namesday as well?" The sickeningly sweet voice of Aysel rang out from behind him. The two swiveled around to look at her holding a mug up, "May the past stay in the past and your future with us burn as brightly as you do. Happy birthday!" The three drank to the dubious toast eyeing each other with suspicion. Evelyn gave a polite, yet curt 'thank you' and turned back to the bar, but the dark-haired flirt wasn't finished with her. "Tell me, is there a man back in the Lowlands missing you? Surely, there has to be?"

 

He watched the Phoenix's jaw muscle clench as she took a sip before answering. Her eyes grew intense as if staring into a dark memory, "No, no one."

 

Aysel chuckled and leaned a hand onto his bicep, "I hear that Circle mages and Templars have very strict rules against fraternization."

 

Trevelyan spun viciously with a dangerous look, "Fraternization. That's a big word for you. Are you sure you know what it means?" Cullen bit his lip at her quip, not needing to fuel the feud between the two and also wishing he was far away from them.

 

The hand that rested on him moved up his arm to his back. He was wearing a cotton shirt with his maroon mantle over top, it being a particularly chilly evening. Her hand wandered into his mantle rubbing at circles on his back. It was his turn for his jaw to clench at her touch as he tried to think of a way to get her hand off him.

 

Feigning amusement, his former sister-in-law's voice took on an edge, "I know enough to know you didn't follow such rules. That there were Templars seen looking for you. Was one your lover?" Her tone sweetened again, "Come you can tell us! Right, my Thane? In fact, a friend of mine in Wolf-Fang Hold said there was a Ser Aeron, I believe it was, who was particularly desperate to see you."

 

If the Phoenix was capable of breathing fire surely, she would've done so at that. Cullen felt a pang of hurt in his gut knowing that she had bedded the enemy. Though it shouldn't have felt like a betrayal, it did. "You know not of what you speak," she spat as her magic flickered in her veins and lit up in her eyes.

 

"Peace, Phoenix. I do not wish to fight with you on such a day. I had no idea it was such a delicate subject. In fact, I thought the news would've been welcomed. I will leave you to your drinks." She bowed her head to him sliding her hand out of his clothing finally, saying 'good evening' in Avvish to him.

 

Now gone, it seemed she took with her the mirth and easy-going nature of their former conversation. Both turned back to the bar and sipped their drinks a few times in awkward silence. He knew it was a bad idea to allow Trevelyan to provoke Aysel as she ruined his attempt to have an actual conversation with the mage.

 

"Who's Ser Aeron?" The question slipped out without thought. If she had been in love with one of those bastards, he wanted to know.

 

"Don't," it was a one-word warning to stop before he got too far ahead in his line of questioning.

 

Not quite sure why he chose that moment to have a deep conversation, could've been the drink or impulse, but he decided to open up to her. "The Templars killed my mother and indirectly my father, the last Thane. That's why I hate them. That's why we all hate them. We've always fought them through the eons, but in recent memory, that's the reason for it." He didn't look at her but heard her sigh. The deep wound had been torn open and Cullen sat there in a simmering rage as she simply sighed at his confession. How could she harbor love for such men? His voice was a low growl, "You were involved with Templars back at your Circle?"

 

At his menacing tone, she turned to face him. After another swig, he did the same meeting her glare with his. Their knees touched as she considered her words carefully. "I was," he could tell she was holding her anger in check. He did the same at the two-word explanation of her sins. "Why does that matter to you?" If he answered that, he'd have to admit to the reason for him coming to speak with her in the first place. His silence only piqued her suspicion. She was intelligent and the longer she was with them, the better she became at reading them. "You want to have this talk now, then let's have it." She finished the tankard in her hand, slamming it down on the mead-soaked bar, never breaking away from his eyes. Their intertwined knees squeezed together, as if not allowing the other to escape. Her voice was quiet with a razor edge, "What do you want to know?"

 

"Nothing. I know everything I need to know already."

 

"Oh, so you've already come to your own conclusions then about me without even asking anything. You can just see into my past then and know everything about me." She shook her head, "You know nothing, just as Aysel did."

 

"Then what am I to think of you? What kind of person allows themselves to be taken by those men?" He spat venomously lost in the feelings of the past.

 

"The kind who don't have a choice." Her anger turned to pain, her voice shook, "I was raped. For years." Immediately, his rage was whisked away, replaced by shame at his words. "Now do you know what to think of me? Have I been ruined in the eyes of the Avvar, or just you? Am I to live in shame?" He blinked and stammered unsure how to even begin to apologize to her. Cursing himself inwardly at letting his emotions get the better of him, he shook his head wondering why the two of them constantly misunderstood each other. "For what it's worth, you have my sympathies for your parents' deaths, especially your mother. I know what they do to mages firsthand." And with that she walked back over to her friends, putting on a mask to hide her troubles. Though he watched her, she didn't once look at him.

 

When he returned to his own table, the look of defeat told his friends all they needed to know. With the night ruined in spectacular fashion, the Thane slunk back home feeling worse than he had knowing now there was only one solution to his predicament; he would have to force her to marry him, for how could she ever even civilly agree to it now.