Soon, she found herself sitting at the head table alongside Cullen and his family and advisers, all breaking bread together. The savory meats that were served were a welcome reprieve from the dried, salted, jellied, and pickled foods they had been surviving on in recent months. That alone was enough to lighten her mood, as did the jovial atmosphere. Cullen, for the most part ignored her, mostly speaking to Mia to his right, as she was attentive to those on her left being the other Rutherfords, Rylen and Cassandra.
When the feast was over, and the whole of the clan began mingling, she found herself alone at the table finally. Unable to wait any longer, she pulled the letter out from her belt and began to read.
My Dearest Evie,
Words cannot express the joy in my heart at hearing you are alive and well, and far from civilization. Things here in the Free Marches, especially for mages, are turbulent. A apostate has recently blown up the Chantry in Kirkwall calling for a mage rebellion. I fear, if you were here, the violence that has followed in its wake would have swept you away from me anyway, or worse. So, I implore you to stay away, at least for the time being.
It gladdens me to hear that you have made friends, even with the Thane. I rest easier now knowing that you are free and living happily among the Avvar. I imagine it is quite a change, but you were never one for the life of nobility and your talents were wasted in the Circle. I would have never told you that of course, as you believed with all your heart that you were making a difference. If this prophecy better tests and utilizes your gift, then I wish you all the luck in your endeavor. Modest in Temper, Bold in Deed. I know that the first part of the motto is difficult for you at times and that your fire comes from a good place, but it has gotten you into trouble in the past. Your rage is just a form of compassion, don't forget to look past the anger to see the truth. You must remember that you are on your own and far from home and I cannot help you. If these Avvar indeed have accepted you, I would advise you to do whatever you can to stay in their good graces.
You must believe that if I knew where you were, I would be on my way to you now. I would want to talk with this Thane and lend him any aid or provide him with as many Rangers as he'd want all to ensure your safety. If this letter finds you and if you are able to write again, please tell me what it is I can do to ensure your safety, my Evie.
I have only told your brothers of your letter. I do not trust your mother's judgment or discretion in this matter. The Templars have been here to ask if we've received any communication with you, but have left believing that we have severed ties with you - as much as it pains me to say. Owayne is quite desperate to seek you out in the Frostback Basin. I am trying to convince him not to chance an expedition out there to find you, but I fear I will awaken one morning to find him gone.
I hope to hear from you soon. I miss you, my dearest Evie. May the Maker guide you and protect you. Your brothers and I send our love.
Your loving father,
Bann Drexford Trevelyan
A sheen of tears wet her eyes, but she blinked it away before anyone could notice. She looked around the hall as her father's words resonated within her. The primal fire that dwelled within her was prone to lash out with rage as a first defense. It was more of a weakness than a strength, but at times she couldn't help it. Look past the anger to see the truth, his words stirred something in her. What she saw were people like any other just trying to survive and live their lives. She watched the families who gathered around the many tables about the room boasting multiple generations. Sighing inwardly, though difficult to admit, saving the thousands of Avvar from extinction sounded like a more while cause than battling the Chantry. She was so tired of fighting and being angry at everything, worrying that her brow would start to look like the Thane's. She leaned back in her seat looking up to the ceiling, knowing that he was the first person who probably deserved more understanding than what she gave him, but he made it hard to do so at times.
"I apologize for not preparing you for the bloodletting offering," Cullen sat back down beside her, finally acknowledging her existence.
"It's fine, I'm well accustomed to pain," she said flatly looking away from him out at the festivities.
A long pause settled over their conversation as he searched for words and she stubbornly sat there prolonging it. This was exactly what her father was trying to tell her to amend about her fiery rage. "I suspect you're angry with me, I'm just wondering when I'm to be burned by your ire?"
"When the time is right. No sense in causing a scene tonight and ruining a night that is meant to honor the gods."
"That's very reasonable of you."
"I can be amiable, but you make that difficult."
"I'm doing my duty."
Her head snapped over to him, and though her face was calm, there was an edge to her tone, "Oh, don't I know it. Clearly, that is all that matters to you, when you're so willingly sacrificing my freedom to do your duty. And what your promise to me? Clearly, your word is meaningless."
He huffed, but before he could retort, Bran came running over to get his big brother for a fight that was about to break out. The two wore identical smirks, and Cullen quickly stood and rid himself of his upper layers. She couldn't help but admire his battle-hardened form, knowing his muscles were not simply for show. Compared to Bran, Cullen was just broader, thicker and sported more deep scars. The brunette brother still had an elastic youth to his tight muscles, which the blonde one probably had in his younger years. She willed herself to turn away, not wanting to be caught staring at the two of them, and because she and her feelings were of no consequence to him.
Before running off to join in the sport, he turned back to her, but she spoke instead holding a hand up to him, "Go. Nothing you could say tonight will help the situation. Might as well enjoy yourself and continue ignoring me." His brow drew down and in a momentary lapse, she let her despair show. With nothing more to say between them, he left.
About three drinks later – no, she wasn't counting - he and the others came back inside after their successful fight. They grabbed drinks in cheers and joked loudly back and forth between themselves and their foes, laughing and pointing. Cullen was smiling, a rare sight, and if she didn't know any better, she would have never suspected he was anything but just another member of the clan. His hair was dampened with sweat causing wayward strands to curl and the lather of sweat he worked up had made his blood stripes disappear. Rylen too was ridding himself of the ceremonial paint one bead of sweat at a time, even marking the men he had wrestled with it. There were split lips and a lot of loosening of sore battered muscles, but the men loved a good fight. Mix that with the sweet allure of mead and ale, and all the troubles of the day fade – at least maybe for him.
In his absence, aside from drinking, she had been doing some magic tricks for the children. As they raced around the fire pit, she conjured dragons and firebirds to chase them. A few times she caught an adult off guard, scaring them all to the amusement of the little ones. Enjoying the tingle of using her mana and the glow of the mead, Evelyn watched the dancing as it began to pick up with the effect of the festive libations taking its toll on everyone. She had done a lot of dancing in her time, but nothing like the spirited swaying of the Avvar. With her designated partner off spending his night with everyone but her since their talk, she could do nothing more than watch her friends have fun. The only one uninterested in the rollick was Cassandra, who thankfully ditched the Thane to spend the evening with her instead. Occasionally, Ilara took a break from grinding on her husband to take some drink before returning to him and Rosalie too came to sit by her with a look of pity on her dewy face.
The Phoenix shook her head at the blonde beauty, "What are you doing here sitting with me when you have every single man in the Hold waiting to dance with you? Or are you just waiting for a specific partner?"
"I think he's going to talk to my brother now about it. I just hope the drink hasn't put him in a foul mood." Evelyn secretly hoped her words earlier did not affect Cullen's decision if in fact, Rylen was finally speaking with him about courting Ros. The blonde eyed her with a pretty smile, "Are you alright?" Each time she was asked that question the answer became more and more complicated.
"Just wishing I could join in, it looks like fun," she realized how pathetic she sounded.
"My brother was never one for dancing. But you can dance with me!" Rosalie snatched up her hands trying to pull her up.
"No Ros, this is a big night for you, I'm not about to let you squander it away on me. Besides, I have Cass here to keep me company." Rosalie huffed, making Evelyn scoot her over so she flop herself down to give her a hug. Evelyn laughed and embraced her slight frame back. She mused at how small she must feel in Rylen's arms if even to her she was tiny.
"I know things aren't going your way, but despite all this, I'm happy to be gaining another sister, especially you." The youngest Rutherford had a way of disarming people at the right times. She didn't have the heart to tell her that she'd be challenging her brother as soon as she could. The mage whispered her thanks before Rylen snuck up on them.
"This looks cozy," he said charmingly as they parted with smiles, "Ros, may I have the honor of a dance?" Cullen lingered a short distance behind them, giving his sister a nod, which had her beaming. Evelyn could help but swoon slightly at their happy beginning. She took his hand and they melted into the crowd of dancers. For all their combined kindness toward her, a Lowlander, no one deserved happiness more than them.
"Clearly, I missed something here," Cassandra's words were slightly slurred, making Evelyn smile over at her.
"Apparently, my sister and Rylen have been secretly seeing each other. It seems you knew," he looked at her, as she did a double-take wondering if she should pretend she didn't. She opted to sip her mead and shrug, making him snort a laugh and shake his head.
The mood was short-lived, however, making a flood of memories from the night she had helped the two lovebirds hit her. "Cullen," her voice seemed to barely break through his thoughts as he stared after them, "you made them very happy, at possibly the cost of your own."
He frowned, "Was she worried about me? Is that why she didn't say anything?" She just nodded. He sighed heavily pinching the bridge of his nose before walking away. She was so incredibly conflicted inside she felt as if she was being torn in two. She hated him for breaking his promise seemingly for his own vanity and yet felt compassion for the trauma he was facing alone while having the weight of the Hold on his shoulders. Ever since she came to Redhold her reality had become blurred, whereas before it had been very black and white. Decisions were easy, what she wanted from life was established and she could confidently say she had made a good life for herself as a mage. Now, things were immensely complicated. Up was down, and down was up. Her emotions were swinging in every direction, she felt as it she was on a perpetual moon cycle.
If she married the Thane, she would be safe against being stolen and raped, yet she would not have a choice of who she married. For a brief few weeks she was allowed to hope that even as her old life ended, her new one would be full of opportunity for her to choose these important matters. She thought perhaps in time she would have a family, but the prophecy alone took that choice from her. To top it all off, she was going to challenge Cullen to a fight where she either needed to make him yield or, simply kill him to be free of her obligation to him. How easy it would be to just cast an immolation spell and be done with it all, and yet, deep down she knew she didn't have it in her to kill him as much as she joked about it. How could she do that to the man, who was doing his duty, and to his family whom she'd come to know so well? Still, she was out of the grasp of the Chantry and able to have a family. Maybe she didn't have a choice as to who that was, but who was to say they couldn't eventually get along? These thoughts swirled around her mind getting lost in the thick fog of drink, bringing on a dull ache.
"I think I may excuse myself for the evening if his highness allows it." She got up from the bench, giving Cassandra a friendly squeeze goodnight on the shoulder, and searched for a blonde mop of hair in the swelling crowd. As she shouldered through in the direction she saw him leave, he had disappeared. As she meandered along towards the exit, the people she passed enthusiastically congratulated her on being the chosen bride of their Thane, telling her how lucky she was, but she didn't feel lucky. Having reached the doors, their good wishes grated on her patience. After searching to no avail, she just left just wanting to be away from it all.
As she argued continuously with herself, she wasn't paying attention and ran straight into something solid, "Oh, I'm sorry, I…," her voice caught in her throat at the man before her.
"Just the woman I was looking for." The deep husky voice of Thane Axlan reverberated through her. He was wearing the traditional Avvar hunting leathers with black jagged paint. "Leaving the feast already? I was hoping you'd join me for a dance."
"W-what are you doing here?" She tried to keep calm in the face of the man who had tried to kidnap her recently.
"One of my men was injured during our hunt," she looked just behind him to see the man had a gaping wound on his calf, blood flowing generously from it, "and since this was the nearest Hold, we've come to see a healer."
"How convenient," she replied flatly.
"Be a good lass and tend to him."
She huffed and rolled her eyes, "I'm no healer unless you'd like me to burn it shut, find someone else." She took a side step trying to get past him, but he halted her with his arm.
"Then take us to one. We are guests, and Avvar are nothing but hospitable to their neighbors." He stooped down so he could get in her face. Axlan was certainly trouble, and she wanted none of it. With a huff, she walked him and his hunting party into the Great Hall to find Ilara or Dorian, whoever she saw first.
Before they got too far, Cullen materialized out of nowhere and halted the group. "Thane Axlan, what brings you here at this hour?" Axlan strode over to Cullen looking each other up and down, always seemingly sizing up each other. Cullen did little to hide his contempt for the man between his tone and posture. His face was in a snarl and his arms were crossed, making him look thoroughly irritated. As the Thanes conversed about how exactly his hunting party found themselves within Redhold's borders, she waited just behind them looking around for either mage. Thankfully, Dorian happened to waltz into view with his usual swagger as he went for another drink. She quickly pushed through the throng of people over to him and told him of the man's wound. Looking sad at having to guzzle his drink down rather than enjoy it, he downed the contents anyway and went with her back over to their guests.
Pleased that she was now free to resume her walk back to her rustic shack, she set off once more, but was yet again stopped by the brunette Thane. His large hand slipped down her arm to grasp her wrist as she passed, and when she yanked and grumbled to no avail, she turned to see he had barely noticed her resistance.
Axlan looked back and forth between them with a grin spread on his face that was both handsome and mischievous, "Don't you two look like quite the pair, any reason for it?"
Though Cullen only had on half of what he started with - a fact that she was trying, and failing, to ignore - he had put his mantle back on without the matching shirt as the Hall became stuffy. She held her tongue, letting Cullen handle it, "She and I are to be wed, so I suggest you unhand her before I take it as a challenge."
Axlan laughed hardily, while she rolled her eyes with an apoplectic sigh as to why he'd even bother giving the man a reason to torture him so. And he wondered why she never listens to him. She could've shut the wolf up, but she was still too mad at Cullen to care to fight this battle for him. "Well, allow me to offer my congratulations. She looks so thrilled!" He laughed at their expense, "Will I be receiving an invitation to attend the knotting ceremony? This I have to see."
Cullen went to open his stupid mouth, but she beat him to it unable to endure Axlan's lame wit. She tugged once more and added a touch of sarcasm to her tone, "Only if you bring Aysel with you. I'm just burning to see her again."
Releasing her suddenly, he faced her properly with one of his thick eyebrows raised, "Should I know who that is?" There was a slight twitch of mischief in his expression, making her bite back a wicked knowing snarl of her own.
"Now, now," her stare turned deadly, "insult my intelligence again and I will return you to that harlot missing her favorite appendage." Her eyes pointed downwards near his belt for a split second before resting back on his face.
The threat was met with only more amusement, "My apologies, Phoenix. She did mention how perceptive you are, but in the future," he took a step closer, "you should be careful on whom you place your accusations on, especially ones laid against a Thane."
Evelyn feigned as if he gotten to her, "I will be sure to remember it." In a blink of an eye, she was scowling back at him, "So long as you remember in whose Hold you stand now." Her words never skipped a beat, as if the words came so naturally to her. Cullen's eyes met hers resolutly for a moment of solidarity.
"I wouldn't dream of causing any trouble here tonight, not with such happy news of your upcoming union. " His sly smile was back, "As it were, I would like to speak to you privately, if your intended would allow it. If only to apologize for the incident a week ago." All eyes were on Cullen as he looked back and forth between the two of them as if searching for a legitimate reason to deny him the request. She stared audaciously at her Thane for even considering it since it was within his power to deny such a request. Without a valid reason, he gave a 'humph' and left her with the wolf to return to the dais. She held out her arms in disbelief having just abandoned her, making her rage spark.
Looking pleased with himself, she looked up at Axlan with a heavy sigh knowing there was no getting out of it now. Holding a hand up, she said with a droll tone, "Before you speak, I'm going to need another drink." Even with the din of the celebration all around them, she could feel the rumble of his deep chuckle in her own chest.
"Lead the way," and the two set off for the table which held the festival's libations. Grabbing two tankards, the guest Thane poured her a drink, then one for himself. They found a place at the long table just out of earshot from Cullen, but not out of full view. Axlan was playing a game that involved putting her in the middle of their rivalry. He sat with his back to Cullen while she faced him; he clearly wanted the fairer Thane to see her reactions to their conversation, all the while hiding his words and face from him. After the way her betrothed fed her to the wolf, she was up for playing a little game herself, justifying it so in her mind aided by her tipsy state. Clanking their cups together and throwing back a good portion of drink, much to the brute's amusement, the game began.
"I like you Phoenix! You must have some Avvar blood in you, for you certainly act like one."
"I do indeed have a thimble full of Alamarri blood in me, and yet no one cares. I was born a Marcher, and that is all that seems to be important to you Avvar." At her words, his dashing smile slowly faded and he began to try and match her neutrality.
"Let me first apologize for trying to liberate you from these mangy lions, but this is how our people do things. The strong take from the weak." His easy dismissal of the kidnapping had her nails digging splinters out of the table beside them. "Tell me, are you happy here?"
Before she answered, she strategically took a sip of mead to choose her words carefully, "I've made Redhold my home - willingly - and Thane Rutherford has given me more freedom than I've had in years."
"That didn't answer my question. I've been told that you and the Thane seem to be at odds with each other often." She didn't say a word, just narrowed her eyes at him knowing the source of his information. "Has the Thane not been able to satisfy you? Aysel mentioned you spending only one night under his roof. Clearly, he was lacking in some way to make you only want to spend a single night with him." A smile spread on her face as she began to laugh. She tipped her tankard up for another long sip, still laughing after she swallowed. Though still focused on Axlan, she could see over his shoulder Cullen boring holes into his back as Rosalie, Rylen and Cassandra now flanked him. They huddled amongst each other, clearly speaking of what Axlan's purpose in speaking to her was.
"You should have her flogged for telling you such lies." Evelyn chuckled again lifting her chin to point in the direction of her roommate, "I spent the night with Rosalie, his sister after a long trip back after being taken by Hakkon, then that lunatic Svarah." She rolled her eyes and he held back a devilish grin. "Enough of this. I doubt you came to simply apologize, if you could even call that one. So, what's your offer? Cullen's will be hard to beat, I'll give him that. Svarah even offered me her own husband, but…" she scrunched her face up, "…Cullen's nicer to look at." She leaned past him to give a wink at her betrothed, confusing the lot of them, making her bite back another laugh.
For once, he took on a diplomatic tone and serious demeanor. "You would thrive with me. I could make you a very happy woman in many ways."
Evelyn held her ground and lowered her voice, "In what ways? I plan to challenge Cullen's claim to me tomorrow. I could be a free woman and go where I like." She poked his firm chest, "Why should that place be your Hold?"
Axlan scooted closer to her and lifting her chin gently, he spoke in a husky, sultry tone, "I can tell you've been left wanting by the frustration in your every word and movement. A beautiful and powerful woman such as you should be worshipped daily by a man." His hand moved down the lines of blood to rest at the base of her throat on her chest, rising and falling with her breaths, "There is a wild spirit that burns in you. I don't wish to tame it, I wish to unleash it." She felt herself pulled in by his words as a dark desire began to spread within her. The mark of Hakkon reverberated with the hum of its foreign magic as if reacting to the offer. She couldn't help the gravity that drew her to him, whether it was his physical attractiveness or charisma, both were having a devastating effect on her. "Come, let me show you. Wintersend is both to celebrate the new year and to find a mate to spend it with. Besides," the wolf looked deep into her eyes, "you aren't wed, yet." He gestured towards the dancing crowd, and before she could protest his large arm was hulling her up by the waist and dragging her along.
Throwing a look over to their passive audience, she saw they still did nothing despite the circumstances. The warm pulse of her mana peaked again wondering if this was some joke Cullen was playing to drive his point into her that he was her best option for protection. That he would allow Axlan to play his hand knowing after all he had put her through having her kidnapped that she'd refuse any offer he gave. What was even more maddening is that he was right.
When they reached the rollick of Avvar couples, they were met with some questioning glances, but most were focused on their partner. She had observed the dancing enough to know there were no choreographed steps. The couples seemed to move as they wished to the music. She was timid at first to try to dance without steps to follow, but her confident partner's hands and hips led her through their first song. It was freeing to flow to the rhythm with the counting of steps or politics that were interwoven into Lowlander dancing, at least for the nobility. The moves were smoother and it had an energizing effect on her mood as if she were freely casting spells in the training yard. Although she loathed to admit it, it was as fun as she thought it would be as she sat and watched earlier. When the next song began, Axlan seemed to have an agenda. He pushed them over to the edge of the dancers where Cullen could see, and just like that the game was afoot again.
He turned Evelyn away from him, making her lock eyes with her Thane, pulling her backside flush against his front rough enough to make her grunt. One hand slid from her waist, boldly over her breasts up to her throat possessively. Their hips swayed sensually side to side as he crowded her. He pressed himself hard into her and began to whisper the things he'd like to do to her in her ear. Despite her opinion of him, she couldn't help the tingling in her lower belly at his licentious words or the look of lust making her eyes heavy as images of them clouded her vision. She had never had a man speak to her with such carnality and the brunette seemed to be well versed in such talk. His breath on her neck sent shivers down her spine and he growled as he thrusted himself against her bottom making his intentions clear. As her eyes all but rolled back, she caught Cullen slowly rise from his seat while Axlan continued to grind up against her.
As her gaze rested on Cullen, sense began to reassert itself, remembering that she was the pawn in this game. Despite her body betraying her, she willed her mind to take back control of the situation. Placing her hand on the one holding her throat, she guided it off and spun with the beat of the drums, twisting his wrist unnaturally. His meaty arm made it difficult, but the momentum of her spin made up for whatever strength she lacked. He grimaced at the pain before taking it away from her with a growl. His displeasure only lasted a moment before that hungry look glistened in his eyes once more. The Phoenix stood firm as the wolf captured her once more. As he neared, she grabbed the wolf fur mantle around his shoulders pulling his face down close to hers. With their faces inches apart, she rose up on her toes making it look as if she was about to kiss him, when a swift knee made hard contact with his groin. Her inviting eyes turned cold as she turned and left him bent over sucking in air with the dancers. Her footfalls as she left fell in beat with his wicked laugher.
Like a dark cloud riding on stormy winds, she blew through the hall with a vengeance. The aura of her magic sent people stumbling out of her way. Her eyes flashed with fire and her blood ran hot. Rounding a table, she shot a glare at the hold's Thane while absconding with an overflowing horn of mead placed conveniently within her reach. His expression had concern etched in it before it darkly shifted to their esteemed guest. Cullen could handle things from there, for she was done with their games tonight. Violent emotions thundered within her dredging back up her current predicament to the point of breaking. Something needed to give, she needed to do something before her inner fire combusted taking her with it.