My name is Li Xinyi, and I am 28 years old. I want to share my story with you, partly to hear your opinions and also to have a safe place to confide in. These things have been weighing on my heart for so long that I can barely breathe. Thank you all for taking the time to listen!
I was born in a small village in the south. My family was very poor when I was young. How poor? I still remember when I was in middle school, the roof of our house leaked when it rained. We had only one bed, and my mother and I huddled under the leaking covers, shivering. Later, my mother remarried, and my stepfather was very harsh. He often beat and scolded me, calling me a worthless burden. He was a heavy drinker and a gambler. When he lost a bet or got drunk, he would take out his anger on me. My mother would silently weep but never dared to stop him. So, from a young age, my greatest hope was to get into college and leave this "home."
I studied hard and was very fortunate. Because of my mother's persistence, I didn't drop out of school early like many other girls. Finally, at 18, I was admitted to a university outside our province. My mother scraped together my tuition from various sources. The night before I left, she held my hand, silently weeping. After a long time, she looked up at me with guilt in her eyes and said, "Child, we've borrowed from everyone we could. From now on, you'll have to walk your own path."
I understood that my mother had sacrificed a lot for me. I didn't blame her. "Mom, I'll work part-time. I've grown up and can take care of myself." Hearing this, my mother, though overwhelmed with tears, managed to show a hint of relief.
Even my stepfather, who had always disliked me, showed a rare moment of kindness. He said I was one of the few college students from our village, that I made him proud. He even gave me 50 yuan, saying he had recently won it with his good luck.
Arriving in the new city, everything was so strange and exciting. It was my first time seeing so many tall buildings, bustling traffic, and knowing what a subway was. The vibrant city life was beyond my imagination. I felt both thrilled and inferior. Could it be that I had really left home and come to such a wonderful place? It felt like a dream. On my first night in the dormitory, I couldn't sleep. I was too excited and afraid that everything in front of me was just a dream that would vanish when I woke up.
As time passed, I gradually adapted to school life and got along well with my roommates. However, I never dared to eat with them, fearing they would look down on me. To save money, I often ate plain rice with pickled vegetables for all three meals.
I had no cosmetics and dared not buy clothes. Compared to my roommates, my possessions were pitifully few. I was lucky my roommates were kind. I think they must have noticed my financial difficulties from my food and clothing, but they never asked too many questions. So, I maintained a polite but somewhat distant relationship with them.
Two months after school started, I began looking for a job near the campus. I wandered aimlessly through the nearby streets, thinking about where to start. As I walked, I saw a notice on a shop door, hiring part-time waitstaff for 15 yuan an hour. I looked up and saw the name "Love Coffee" on the glass door. I had no idea what coffee was at the time. Summoning my courage, I pushed the door open. The interior was predominantly brown, with warm yellow lights from a few spotlights. Low sofas and small tables were neatly arranged, and a large glass window faced the street.
"Hello, just one?" said a young man.
"Oh, hello. Is the owner here? I saw the hiring notice at the door..." I said, blushing and lowering my head, my voice trailing off.