That evening, I couldn't focus on anything. His words, "Don't cling to me," felt like a thorn in my heart. Seeing him with the girl again filled me with bitterness. Throughout the night, I kept stealing glances at their corner.
They looked close, with him holding her just as he had held me hours earlier. The girl leaned on his shoulder, seemingly talking about something. Occasionally, she even shed tears, which he gently wiped away. He kissed her forehead tenderly, and she covered her face and cried. Their figures reflected in the large window, appearing so harmonious, so at ease in this bustling café. Outside, the expensive silver sports car—a Bentley from 2002, I later learned—stood as a symbol of a dream I could never afford. At that moment, I should have faced reality: he and I were from entirely different worlds. How could I, how dare I, desire someone so unattainable? But at that time, my judgment was clouded by jealousy, desire, and naivety, leading to the events that followed.
They stayed until the café closed, embracing and talking. As they left, he gently lifted her, carrying her as if she were asleep. He walked carefully, gesturing for me to open the door, mouthing that he would return for his jacket. I nodded and watched as he placed her gently in the passenger seat, adjusting her seat and fastening her seatbelt with practiced ease. I stood there, feeling a mix of envy and fantasy, imagining myself in her place.
He walked back, smiled at me, and said, "Don't work so hard. Get back to school early."
I was both surprised and touched. How did he know I was a student? Did the owner tell him? What did he think of me? Did he care for me? My heart fluttered with an inexplicable emotion, and I blushed. I nodded lightly, not daring to look at him until I heard the doorbell chime. When I looked up, Zhao Kai was staring at me, making me uncomfortable. I quickly turned away and started cleaning up.
"You... you knew Mr. Gu before?" Zhao Kai's abrupt question startled me.
I had forgotten he was behind me. I turned to face him, pretending not to understand. "Mr. Gu?"
Seeing my confusion, Zhao Kai seemed to relax and didn't press further. "Oh, never mind. If you don't know, it's okay," he said, turning away.
I watched him leave, puzzled by his behavior. Zhao Kai was usually straightforward, not this hesitant and secretive. Why was he curious about my relationship with Gu Shijie? After all, we barely knew each other. I hadn't lied; I really didn't know Gu Shijie well. He was a customer, and I was a server. Yet, he seemed to treat me differently, and thinking about that made my heart flutter again.
That night, I went to bed early, filled with an inexplicable anticipation.
When I opened my eyes, I saw him again. This time, his expression was melancholic, and he was holding a glass of whiskey instead of a Long Island Iced Tea. His long fingers traced elegant arcs around the glass as he downed the drink in one go. I wanted to tell him to stop, but I couldn't make a sound. Then, I saw a woman approaching him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He looked at her, and she turned and winked at me with a strange smile. She... she was me! In an instant, the scene shifted. The familiar white-clad woman looked up at him with deep affection, stood on tiptoe, and kissed his lips. He hesitated, seeming to want to push her away, but then they kissed passionately, as if devouring each other. His hands encircled her waist, revealing her slender, seductive figure. They entwined as if merging into one. I unconsciously licked my lips and squeezed my legs together... a warm sensation spread from below.
"Wake up! You're going to be late!" A shout jolted me awake. I opened my eyes, feeling guilty as if caught doing something wrong. The warm sensation between my legs lingered.
Did I wet the bed? Embarrassed, I reached down and felt something wet. Blood? My mind went blank for a moment before I realized it was my period.
A cramp hit my lower abdomen. I had a history of painful periods. "You go ahead. Help me ask for a leave. I... I got my period and don't feel well. I might not make it to class today," I told Zhang Ying.
Understanding, she said, "Okay, rest well. I'll bring you some brown sugar water later."
I nodded, grateful. Zhang Ying always took care of me and others, especially me, and I deeply appreciated it.
I spent the whole day in bed, feeling miserable. I didn't know if other girls had such painful periods, but my mother always walked a long way to town to buy brown sugar and make brown sugar water for me. Seeing my pain, she would silently weep, feeling guilty.
She often recalled the day I first got my period. My stepfather, drunk as usual, came home late, angry about something. Finding me in my mother's bed, he pulled me out and punished me by making me kneel outside. That winter was particularly cold. Barefoot and barely dressed, I knelt outside for half an hour, nearly losing consciousness until my mother secretly let me back into the east room after he fell asleep.
Mother believed that incident caused my chronic condition. Feeling guilty, she always ensured I had brown sugar water, watching over me and crying silently.
Thinking of this, I suddenly missed my mother. How was she now? Without me, the burden, her life should be easier, right? Or did my absence make things worse? I didn't dare to think further. I had no means to help her escape that home, so what was the use of thinking about it? I shook my head, trying to clear these thoughts.
Those three days, I had to ask for leave from the café, something I didn't want to do because it meant less income. Fortunately, my periods were short, though my mother said it wasn't a good sign. For me, the brief pain was a small mercy.
Zhang Ying helped inform the café about my leave. Without a phone, I relied on her, and she didn't mind. She even seemed to enjoy going to Love Coffee.
One evening, she came back and shared her news excitedly. "Guess who I saw at Love Coffee today?"
"Who?"
"Gu Shijie!"
"Who!?" Hearing his name, I was both surprised and regretful. Of all times to take leave, it had to be when he visited!
Zhang Ying, unaware of my inner turmoil, continued, "The young master of Gu Group, Gu Shijie! You must know him. He's a regular at your café!"
"The young master of Gu Group?" I was confused. Wasn't he the assistant to the chairman? How could he be the heir? My heart sank with this revelation. Such a lofty person was truly out of my reach.
Zhang Ying went on, "I heard the chairman of Gu Group has many sons, but Gu Shijie is the most outstanding. He made significant contributions to the company at a young age, especially with his ventures in Southeast Asia. He's often called a business prodigy and is the most likely heir. But unfortunately…"
"Unfortunately, what?"
"Unfortunately, such a great man is already taken. It's a business marriage with a top family in the city."
A business marriage? Already taken? Could it be the girl in white? I felt a pang of jealousy and envy. That girl had beauty, a good family, and an excellent husband who adored her. The thought of his tenderness towards her made my heart ache.
Why? Why such disparity between people? If there was a god, why was he so unfair? Why did some have all the good fortune while others faced endless hardships?
A mix of resentment, unwillingness, and a stubborn desire to fight fate filled my heart.
Seeing my changing expression, Zhang Ying asked, "Are you okay? Does your stomach still hurt?"
Startled, I quickly replied, "No, I'm fine. Much better now."
"Let me know if you feel worse. I can go with you to the hospital," she offered.
Zhang Ying was always so caring, almost like a protective older brother. If she were a boy, I might have secretly liked her. Lost in these thoughts, I nodded.
Seeing I had nothing more to say, Zhang Ying went to rest.
That night, I lay in bed, contemplating the day's revelations. My thoughts were a whirlwind of dreams, reality, jealousy, and a burning desire to change my fate.