Trapped in Darkness
"When you're alone, lonely in a dildo having your concision for hundred and hundred of days , you become a fucking pice of shit ".- by the HUGE dildo
I am stuck, I can't move or express anything. Why a dildo, though? What's wrong, man? All I wanted was a restart, and this is what I got. Is this what they mentioned in those Hindu texts, what they call karma? But I haven't done anything… maybe that's the reason that I didn't .Fukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. I have had enough. My whole fucking life was nothing but woods on .Slowly burning by fire fuled by my own self . All my fucking life, I had suffered. And this is what I get? Fuck you, you fucking piece of fucking god. I can do nothing.I do remember that day when I was in Japan, at my grandma's death. She always loved me, even though I wasn't always there. She… the day before her death, I was in her house. Suddenly, I heard someone shouting my name. I ran towards the voice, and there she was, lying on my sister's lap.I didn't go to the hospital; I was still a teenager then. I walked out that evening, wandering around the neighborhood. Everyone was talking about her. It's not that hard for talks to run in any village. I was standing before the gates outside of home, and I heard people coming. I heard what they were talking about.And when they were in front of me .
She asked, "Do you know?" and I said yes.They started preparation. I never used to talk to these people. When they were working, moving here and there—like some fucking dogs—
I wanted to help them.
I don't know why it was. Was it because I wanted to keep myself busy and didn't want to remember her memories? To overthink what sort of piece of shit I am? Or was it because I saw my father and uncle so terrified, like some babies, how desperate they were to save her? And that made me feel like I was the one who needed to keep my head straight. Be a man of the house; this mourning was over.A man talked on the mobile, started shouting that she was still alive and breathing. They weren't sure whether it was natural or because she was just taken off ventilation, and it was an effect of it. Even though the doctor had pronounced her dead, they were going to another hospital.All the people started to go out. A woman cried in the corner, who I think was someone, and all of a sudden, she stopped her shouting.I went to my room that night. I struck the wall. I felt pity for her. How nice she was to me, and I never returned her happiness. I dreamt of becoming rich, taking her to different parts of the world, giving her gifts, especially gold, just as all women love ornaments, she did too . But I was a lazy piece of shit, and no more. I wanted to make a change in me, and I did, becoming a fucking piece of…I wept that night for some time. And they kept her on oxygen till morning, when in the morning she died. All my relatives, uncles, and my father wept. I didn't, not till this day. Fuckkkkkkkkk, why the fuck am I still trapped in this nightmare?
A Descent into Madness
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk night. 8
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkknight.23
Fuck you, fucking god, motherfu… night. 69
I know you are a fucking cunt, aren't you? Dead, you fucking night.147
You motherfucker, enjoying seeing me in this fuck. You are probably finding it fucking fun. I will show you what is funny, you cunts. Night. 260
You assholes, when I know who you are, I will tear you apart from your body, and in front of you will be your family, motherfucking father, sister, brother, and I will show you how I will *** your mother, and I will tear and fuck********************************* night. 369
Enjoy, enjoy, mother night. 370
You really have to get me out, night. 378
I know I have said some stupid shit. I meant things. I do apologize for all those misbehaviors of mine, God. With all my love and faith, I pray to you, asking for your kindness to get me out of this hell. Night.420
There was discussion among family members whether to read the "Panchabhuta."becauce that's what they do in mourning days as per rituals and traditiona .They were fighting and finger-pointing, ha ha 😂 😭 😂. And there I was, thinking aboutwhat " panchabutha" mentioned how you shit your pants when those demons from hell come for you. I imagined people shitting who I knew, and they take you to hell. The way to hell is full of blood, burning coal, people's faces start to melt, they *********************.And they are measured in that thing what does they call it , fuck it , with their crimes in the world. And with that, they are sent to Earth according to their doings—a bird, a plant, a buffalo, a cat, a dog, a pig—any living thing. Till they are free of their imprisonment and again reincarnated on Earth, and they call it karma.Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, stupid.Fuck.
Night. 419
I love you. I will give you anything. I will even f***†********+?&-++?-*-&&&_*& night. 421
….. After a year and some months, long hair white as a rose and pink lips of a lotus and an ass of peace, and they were big and round as you want them to be. There she was, walking inside of a shop on a cold night. Tingling. One board was hanging on the top of the shop, and it said