Rosetta faxed the documents that I had reviewed just an hour ago.
I could not focus on doing anything else. It was the only thing I got done and my secretary had pointed out more than ten errors already.
She must have understood that too many things were flooding my head at the moment.
My eyes saw the file still lying on top of others, but I had not reached out to it yet.
If I accepted it, did it mean coming closer to him again?
And I was not sure if I wanted that...the life that I had built so far without him in the picture, I did not want to let go of it yet.
It was not perfect but things have been going alright so far. I was not willing to make another rushed move and wreck everything up again. Something that I learnt from my past.
"You know what I think?"
I looked up at Rosetta. She was staring back at me.
"You should just call it a short day and go home."
She offered. It seemed the only viable thing to do since there was no way, I could get anything done for the day.
If it was any other day, I would have asked Rosetta to mind her own business but today, I just rose without another word and collected my coat to leave.
"I will mail you the final draft."
She yelled after me as I left, the door closing on its own behind me.
In Sawyer's firm, there are a total of fifteen case lawyers working, and I handled the criminology section, having earned my degree in it.
Joshua Kalahan handled all the business cases and as he stood by the corner, seeing me walking forward, I knew he was going to call out my name to try and make a conversation.
If it was any other day, I surely would not have minded. But today, ever since the morning encounter with him, he was all I could think about over and over again.
"Janet!"
I almost halted, but then my feet found themselves walking forward as if they had minds of their own.
Not daring to turn around, I walked out of the firm and stepped towards the parking lot to get inside my car.
Sitting inside, as if hiding away from the world...from him, I would have driven to Emily's school but it was not time yet.
Opening the door and finding him inside made me feel like I had crawled back into the past.
He had not changed at all. Still, the same aura emanating out from him. Seeing everyone beneath him, something that he still carried along with him.
He portrayed himself as if he was not one bit bothered about the past. The courage he had after everything he had done to come back and threaten me in my own office.
Being inside with him, it felt as if all these five years, I was the only one left disturbed and unsettled whereas he was very fine, seemingly moved on very smoothly.
It was as if the past did not haunt him at all. Neither did it give him flashbacks of what happened.
And here I was sitting alone in my car in broad daylight, contemplating everything all over again.
If I think about it again, the tears in my eyes would still roll down my cheeks as if everything had occurred only yesterday...all the things so fresh in my mind.
Closing my eyes, trying to get back myself from that moment, did not realize that time would pass by so quickly and it would soon be the hour to leave.
The knocking against the car window, made me raise my head from resting on the steering wheel and found Joshua.
He gestured for me to open the glass up, and I did it right away wondering how long he must have been here and what must he have thought of me being in my car doing nothing at all.
"Hey! Are you alright?"
He asked. Words did not leave my mouth so I just nodded my head, giving him a slight smile.
"Why did you ignore me in the lobby?"
The next question made me eye him thinking if he was here to enquire about that. Did he follow me?
"I called out your name..."
"I must have not heard."
I replied trying to avoid the other questions. He could tell that I was lying but chose to not drag it.
"You are not picking up the kids?"
And the moment he asked that, I checked the time on my phone straightaway and it was already past thirty minutes since Emily's school was over.
I cursed at myself getting ready to drive away but then he offered me something making me look out.
"Your secretary handed me this to give you. "
It was the Smith case file. Rosetta must think that I was going to handle this case right away after Sawyer's visit in my office.
I took the file and thanked him leaving the parking lot in a hurry. Josh was a single dad and he also drove in this hour to pick his son up.
When I had to stop at junction waiting for the redlight to turn green, Josh waved at me going the other way.
By the time, I reached Em's school, it was already too late and the guard told me that she had left with her father.
Walking back to the car wondering what must Cole think of me then. And the fact that I would need to drive to his place to get Emily when I was nowhere ready to face him after last night.
Nothing was going the right way. It was as if everything was falling apart...moving out of my control.
Getting back inside the car and seeing the file laying on the passenger seat, I felt helpless for the first time after five years and all of these being kickstarted right after the unexpected encounter with him.
What else was going to happen? It made me think about that...
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