John stared intently at the glowing treasure chest before him. "Let me see what good things can be opened in this treasure chest..." he muttered, clicking on the first item with a mixture of hope and curiosity.
[Item 1]
Option 1: 30 Soul Points
Option 2: 150 Soul Points
Option 3: 300 Soul Points
"Three hundred soul points? That's quite a lot! I remember it only takes a hundred soul points to upgrade a level. If all five items in this chest are worth three hundred each, that's 1,500 soul points altogether. That should be enough to level up several times!" John's excitement grew as he considered the possibilities. Without hesitation, he clicked to view the next item.
[Item 2]
Option 1: Fresh dung from the Big Knife Goblin (a lump), gray quality, debris
Option 2: Chief Goblin's fresh excrement (a bucket), gray quality, debris
Option 3: Fresh excrement of Dragon-Veined Goblin (a pool), white quality, material
John's face twisted in disbelief as he read the options. "What on earth is this? The Dragon-Veined Goblin sounds impressive, but... a pool? Is it diarrhea? And why am I even comparing this to a lump or a bucket?!" He shook his head. "Why am I wasting time thinking about goblin dung shapes?"
The absurdity of the situation hit him like a brick. "I guess it makes sense why they call this the 'Goblin Prank Box.' If someone else were to open this chest and end up with all these options, they'd probably lose their mind. Different shapes of goblin poop—really?"
John gave up on the second item entirely. "No way am I walking away with goblin dung, even if the Dragon-Veined Goblin's mess might technically be useful. I'll skip this one altogether." He knew that if he chose to forgo an item, it would vanish completely, leaving him only four remaining choices.
[Item 3]
Option 1: Alchemy Handbook of the Shaman Goblin, gray quality, sundries
Option 2: Alchemy Crucible of the Shaman Goblin, gray quality, debris
Option 3: Alchemy [Incomplete], no quality, skill
"An alchemy handbook from a goblin? Goblins can write?" John marveled, not at the concept of alchemy itself but at the idea that goblins—usually portrayed as barbaric and unintelligent—could create anything requiring intellect. "I guess the goblins here must be more evolved."
His thoughts shifted to strategy. "If these goblins are this advanced, I might need to be careful in case I run into them. They're stronger than zombies, at least—they can use weapons and tools. That makes them more of a threat than the shambling undead."
John examined the handbook's attributes out of curiosity:
[Alchemy Handbook of the Shaman Goblin]
Quality: Gray
Type: Sundries
Origin: Ash World, Goblin Plain, Nushan Tribe, Shaman Goblin
Special Attribute: None
Requirements: Proficiency in Goblin language and Nushan Tribe dialect
Score: None (gray debris has no score)
Description: "Shaman Goblin mixes the vomit of the Chief Goblin and the fresh dung of Dragon-Veined Goblin to create special ink infused with magical power. This ink is used to record whimsical ideas and is known as the 'Alchemy Handbook.'"
John winced. "I really underestimated how gross this prank box could get. Not only does it give you goblin dung as a potential reward, but it also finds ways to weave dung into other items! This book was written using a mixture of goblin puke and poop? Unbelievable."
Despite his morbid fascination, the text within the handbook was illegible to him. The scribbles resembled random scratches rather than meaningful symbols. Even as a joke, the item seemed useless to him. The same went for the alchemy crucible, which, according to its description, had been used to cook down goblin dung into magical ink.
"This box has some serious commitment to grossness. Is there anything in here that doesn't involve goblin poop?" John sighed. "The only somewhat reasonable option is the incomplete alchemy skill. At least it doesn't have anything to do with dung—or so it seems."
Having made his choice, he moved on to the fourth item.
[Item 4]
Option 1: Small Magic Recovery Potion (one bottle), green quality, props
Option 2: Small Magic Recovery Potion (a bundle), green quality, props
Option 3: Small Magic Recovery Potion (a bag), green quality, props
"Magic recovery potions?" John murmured, intrigued. Then doubt crept into his mind. "But I cultivate spiritual power, not magic. Can I even use this stuff? What if it causes some kind of energy conflict?"
He decided to inspect the potion's attributes before making any rash decisions:
[Small Magic Recovery Potion]
Quality: Green
Type: Props
Origin: Ash World, Goblin Plain, Nushan Tribe, Shaman Goblin
Effect: Restores 50 energy points
Requirements: None
Score: 18 (green items are scored between 11 and 30)
Description: "The 'great' Nushan Tribe Chief Shaman Goblin 'Makapaga' is deeply devoted to alchemical research (a branch of scatology). Occasionally, however, he produces small mana recovery potions using normal materials for the other shaman goblins in the tribe."
John stared at the description in disbelief. "Even this potion is tied to that disgusting goblin shaman? Sure, it says 'normal materials,' but can I really trust it? Who's to say he didn't sneak in something gross during the process?"
Still, John acknowledged the potion's utility. "It restores energy, which could come in handy during an emergency. Besides, I get nine bottles if I choose the bag option—a bundle has three, and a bag has three bundles." The sheer quantity made it an attractive pick. "Even if I can't use it, I might be able to trade it later."