I took time to study the figure before me as our faces were so close they almost touched.
He's an African American with really long lashes, full pink lips lost somewhere between his cleanly trimmed beards.
Big brown eyes that kept tracing around my body. As my hands laid on his chest, I felt those huge pads rise and fall and they did things to me.
Made me want to run my fingers through his unique hair cut.
"This is a rather odd place momma." He said as I kept panting and reacting to his every touch. "But whatever makes you happy."
Then he laughed so loudly when I shrieked at his hands going up the groove at my back. "When was the last time you were touched?"
At that moment, I pulled away from him. "I'm just coming from my boyfriend's place."
Was that supposed to mean something? Well, I guess I thought it meant we did things couples would normally do.
He smirked "That doesn't answer the question love." He pulls a strand of hair on my face back "and if you're here, it means he's quite the lousy type."
"It shouldn't be that hard to keep you in bed." He adds.
At that moment, everything Josh had said started coming back and I tried to bite my lips so I won't cry.
But that did not work as the tears flowed freely. And once again, I was back to bawling and snorting.
His eyes shut open as I started crying. He glared, somewhat confused about what to do. But, after some seconds, like it was by command, he pulled me into a tight hug.
I couldn't find myself as he was wrapped around me. I buried my face deep into his chest and cried even louder but couldn't hear myself.
"It's okay, momma. He doesn't deserve you."
"But I love him so much." I manage to say between my wailing.
He chuckled and replied "No you don't. You just don't have better options or at least that's what you think."
I pulled away from him and he wiped my face with the jacket of his suit.
We spent the rest of the night talking, or rather I spent the rest of the night talking. I told him about how I left LA to be with a jerk who is not sure of how he feels.
"I actually thought I'd finally have sex for the first time." I whispered sadly.
He laughed so hard when he heard it "So you drove all the way to San Diego to get laid by that douchebag on your wallpaper."
"You really do make bad decisions pumpkin. Very bad ones."
I guess I never thought of him as a jerk. He always seemed like the man I always wanted.
He sighed "well, you're in luck. He discovered before going in. Just imagine him half way in when he suddenly realizes, she's more of a friend."
I laughed so loud, the dogs started barking again "it'd be like a deflated balloon."
His glared at me "Now you are being naughty."
I took several lessons from Sandra, which were quite "practical."
I cried at different points during our conversation, he laughed at several things and we hugged over a thousand times. He had a strong scent like rain on the first day after a long summer.
It was soothing, nerve racking and somewhat exciting.
At some point, he grabbed the candy he had intended to eat from his car and we spent the whole night talking about everything and nothing.
By 3am, we walked back to Josh's house. None of us was in a hurry to leave. Not yet. But on seeing my car parked by the corner I realized we were at Josh's house.
"Thank you, for everything." I said as we stood in front of the house.
"My pleasure pumpkin. Now do us both a favor and leave first thing in the morning." He patted my shoulder and smiled like he had more to say.
I looked down at the jacket he had given me there was snort mixed in with a lot of other body fluids. "I'm sorry about your jacket."
"It was a pretty good one. Maybe you could wash it and then return it to me."
"I don't know where you stay."
"Cause you never asked, momma." He replied taking long strides towards me.
As though he was hesitant, he scratched the back of his head before finally saying, "I live in the house right across from where we sat all night."
I felt something churn and turned in me "maybe..." I paused "... maybe I could return your jacket later. Before leaving of course."
The smile on his face vanished at that moment and I heard him say softly "you won't want to." Before he waved goodbye at me.
I hurried back into the house cause I was really cold at that point. But he stood there, undaunted, watching me until I went in.
Just as I shut the door behind me, I remembered I didn't get his name or phone number.
I dashed out of the house just as soon as I set the jacket down but he was gone. Just like that, poof.
I went around for some time before deciding to give up since I knew where he stayed.
I spent the rest of the morning packing my things and washing his jacket. Although it said dry cleaning only, I was too afraid to entrust it into the hands of dry cleaners. Or rather, I didn't have the money to.
I spent most of the money I had buying new lingerie and filling my car with gas. And yes, I also got gifts for his mother.
By the time Josh woke up, my bags were already packed and ready to go. I sat on the couch in the living room waiting for him to walk in after I noticed he was awake.
"Good morning. How was your night?" I asked as I poured him a cup of tea.
He replied coldly "I slept well."
"I noticed your clothes are all packed. You don't have to leave, you know that, right?" Josh continued.
I stirred the tea using the spoon to hit against the cup. "I know. Sandra needs an extra hand at the store and she asked that I come back."
Josh dropped his cup and moved towards me. "My mum really likes you, and I'd love for her to meet you."
"Ohhh, I'd love to meet her...but Sandra..."
"I'd talk to her. I'd beg her to let you stay. You know you want to stay."
Josh might have really hurt me the previous night, but that did not change the fact that he was a smooth talker. Or that I found it difficult to say no.
"I'd take out the trash." I said pulling my hoodie over my head.
I grabbed the bag and walked out the back door while he went to get ready for work.
"I couldn't even bring myself to touch her. That's to show you how much I love you." Josh said to the person on the other end of the phone.
I leaned on the wall and waited till he was done. When he turned and saw me, his eyes shot open.
Oddly, I didn't want an explanation. Maybe because it didn't surprise me after last night. But he was keen on giving one anyway.
After several minutes, Josh raised his head and breathed heavily, "I'm gay." He said.