FAREWELL
"In the twilight of memories, she was a departing darling, slipping away like mist in the morning sun."
My preference for solitude became my coping mechanism for dealing with life's challenges and disappointments.
Disappear, that is what I am going to do right now.
In front of me, I watched my man down on his knees on the cold floor, his back against the wall. His weary eyes, once bright are now worn and tinged with desperate plea, searching for a chance and hope in me. I shifted uncomfortably, avoiding his gaze, fearing that meeting them would betray the strength of my emotions. He grab me with his trembling hand and clasp mine. Despite my attempts to maintain my composure, all my energy drained away and my knees weakened when his fingers brushed against mine. I almost lost it all when he reached out and clutched at my legs, his grip tight but not enough to hurt me.
"please" Daze voice cracked.
"Let's fix whatever this is, Love." I can sense the pain in his voice yet he's still gentle.
I gathered all the courage I have and face him.
"There is nothing to fix here, the only thing that is already fixed is my mind, and no one can change it."
I'm sorry my love but you need to hate me. Forgive all my lies. This is the only way you can move forward on your life.
"You're smart, right? Is it that hard for you to understand that I don't want to be in this relationship anymore?" my voice rang out, unexpectedly assertive despite the tremor in my voice.
His tired eyes widened slightly, registering the firmness in my tone.
Despite the turmoil within him, he spoke with a soft tone, careful not to add to the weight of the moment.
"please tell me what's our problem, love. Is there something bothering you? Did I do something you don't like? Is there a woman you want me to avoid? Tell me, my love. You don't have to figured this out on your own."
If everything Is just that easy, we wont be in this situation my love.
F*ck! How could I hurt this man. He's so fragile and sweet. I want to embrace him and tell him that I'm sorry. I want to comfort him. But I remain firm to my decision. I don't want him to be aware of what I'm up to because I know him damn well. I'm certain that he will always choice me, he will choice us. This time, I want him to choose himself.
I smiled bitterly. Just a few days ago when everything is fine, we were happy, wiled, and lost in the rhythm of our lives. I remember how we would start our day walking together to university. Every morning, Despite the early hours or the impending rush of his own schedule, he never failed to show up. I would emerge from the dorm, often groggy and still half-asleep, to find him sitting on the perron of the abandoned roll up convenience store beside our hall patiently waiting on me. He always held my waist as we walked, a gesture that started as a comforting embrace and soon became a habit. Day by day, I grew accustomed to the warmth of his hand against my side. At school, we would sit and listen together at the discussion. I would turn to him with furrowed brows and a notebook full of scrawled puzzlement in the middle of busy classes with lecture echoing around me. Then after class, we will drive to the park and sit to our favorite spot while eating our usual street food snack. And when the evening struck, we will tease each other with some nasty words until we end up sleeping in what we so called little home. Make love and plan our future. Play love songs and kiss until is we sleep.
"Please don't do this to me." Startled, I blinked rapidly, feeling the warmth of his embrace, trying to re-calibrate my senses to the present moment. The raspy voice belonged to Daze, whose eyes bore the weight of a lingering sorrow, with heavy lids that drooped like curtains closing on a melancholy stage.
"I'm tired of you. I don't want to be with someone like you. You're not enough for me". The truth is, I think I am the one who isn't enough for someone like you. I know he won't buy it.
I have no choice but to utter this word.
"I don't love you anymore"
Daze's expression hardened, a mix of pain and shock crossing his features. He stood frozen, his heart sinking like a stone in his chest. Aurora's words echoed in his mind, a painful mantra he couldn't escape. "I don't love you anymore."
"Then just let me love you" The pain dug into my chest when I hear the words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken hopes and the ache of a heart unwilling to let go.
It's time. Aurora knew that if she stay a little longer, the floodgates of her emotions would burst open, washing away the painful words she had spoken to her love just moments ago. Hesitant, Aurora sigh and stood poised to leave, her hand hovering over the doorknob.
But something held her back. A lingering feeling, a need to imprint this moment in her memory before she walked away forever. Slowly, she turned around, allowing her eyes to roam over every corner of the room. The moonlight filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the familiar furniture and the photographs on the walls.
As her gaze swept over the room for the last time, it settled on him, Daze, the man she had loved and shared her life with for so many years. Their eyes locked, and in that silent exchange, a lifetime of words passed between them. In his eyes, she saw the pain and heartbreak mirrored in her own. She saw the memories they had woven together, the laughter, the tears, the moments of joy and sorrow that had shaped their journey. She saw the unspoken apologies, the regrets, and the love that still lingered beneath the surface.
Daze was left stunned, his gaze fixed on an invisible point in the distance, lost in thought. His heart skipped a beat when a gentle sound broke the silence —a faint echo of footsteps in the hallway and the cracked of the door. His heart leaped with a fragile hope as he turned towards the door, eyes pleading for a glimpse of the one he couldn't bear to lose.