"Damn, you are one ugly person. I feel sorry for your mother for having you," I told the short, childlike figure, although it was more of a chaos lord than anything else.

Klarion the Witch Boy had pale skin, spiky black hair, and dark gothic clothing, including a red scarf and a blue bell-shaped hat. He was always accompanied by his familiar, a small brown cat with black stripes named Teekl.

"Oh, insults already? How adorable. My appearance is part of my charm, you see. As for my dear mother, she embraces chaos just like I do. But enough banter. I'm not the one in a tube, am I?" Klarion said to the striking figure, blending strength and agility in their muscular yet lean build. They stood tall with a commanding presence, their face defined by high cheekbones, a strong jawline, and deep brown eyes that conveyed both determination and empathy.

A.R.E.S.O.N.

Narrator: "Now, to explain how this person got into this situation, we will have to go back about five years in the past."

A young boy, 18 years of age with dark skin and messy hair, was walking back to his house, tired from a whole day of work.

While walking home, something happened. The universe witnessed an event so unimaginable, so tremendously impossible, that when it happened, the universe itself denied it. The incident caused a fracture in time, splitting the boy into two timelines existing simultaneously. The universe recognized this anomaly as a threat and erased the second timeline within milliseconds. However, since matter cannot be created or destroyed, the universe had to move the displaced timeline somewhere else.

"The floating black goo-shaped thing said to me while I sat on the ground, or what I thought was the ground, except for me and the goo, everything was completely white."

"So what now?"

"We move you somewhere else, to another part of the multiverse. Since your universe is bound by the laws of physics to an extreme extent, when two of you exist, it removes the one that was just made, meaning you. And since you were the only being in this new timeline, you were brought here for relocation."

"So I got isekai'd?"

"Basically, yes."

"But what if I don't want to go? I mean, I have a family down there."

"Unfortunately, you don't have a choice. Also, you are still there with your family; it's just that there can't be two of you at the same time. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You didn't cause this; nobody did. It was just a mistake. But damn, do I already miss them. Okay, where do I go now?"

"I can't tell you about that, and don't ask me why, because I can't tell you about that either."

"Wait, what?"

"Sorry, rules."

"What kind of stupid rule is that?"

"Rules are rules."

"But I was told I could give you three boons or what you would call them, three wishes."

"Now we are talking! So I wish for everyone—"

"No."

"What?"

"No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"You were about to wish for every magic-using person you have seen in fiction to give you their powers."

"No."

"Yes, you were. I can read your mind."

"Of course you can. Why wouldn't you be able to do that?" I said, annoyed by the bull powers he had.

"You may choose three people for your powers, and they can't be world-ending powerful."

"Oh, come on, at least make it seven people."

"No. Four."

"Six."

"Five."

"Fine, I will take five.

But there is a limit on the last two people's abilities that I can give you: first, they can't have superpowers or magic."

"Okay, okay.

But then I will tell you this: the world you are being sent to is very dangerous. Like, world-ending stuff happens every week."

"Well, that's scary, but anyway, for the first three, I choose Frieren, Yao, and Dumbledore."

"Alright, magic-focused beings. But remember, the last two can't have superpowers or magic."

"The last two I choose are Taro Sakamoto and Kawa-bata Tsuyoshi."

You are pushing it but I will allow it.

"An assassin and a martial artist—an excellent choice. So, will you be sent like this, or do you start a new life?"

"New life. Everything will be new and randomly chosen, so your race or gender will also be random. So, see ya, and I would never wanna be you."

He said this as I slowly drifted into sleep.

"Wait, why—damn it, I can't think—"

"Well, sh*t."