August 16, 2024
Life is worth the hassle to get to view beauty. What a shame it'd be otherwise.
"Sorry," I say and look away as the beauty turns back to me.
I see her smile wryly, from the corner of my eye.
"No that's okay, I understand if it was just… fazing out," she tells me. "Or not. Sorry. Nevermind."
"I was just wondering if I saw you somewhere… but I think you aren't from this apartment," I say.
She chuckles softly. "I am new. I'll be moving to 503 today."
"503? Woah. We are practically neighbours then! I'm… of 507. Well, 507 is right in front of 503. It's a… yeah."
"Oh wow, what are the odds?"
"T-thin, apparently. Yeah."
"Hi, nice to meet you," she extends her hand, but the elevator opens just then.
I look towards the open doors, and then at her. She just smiles and awkwardly takes her hand away, and moves out. God… these things were slow as fuck usually, why'd they open just when… I just met this… Heavenly Neighbour. What a delight to the eyes.
Before I realise again that I belong to the same floor as her, the doors close and I get stuck with these people. I awkwardly wait for them to go back down to the ground floor, and then go back to my floor again… but she obviously had gone back to her room.
Bummer.
August 21, 2024
I lift the dumbbells like my life depended on it. Maybe I should lift higher? I could go higher, but it meant I'd only be hitting lesser reps. But… I had her in the same room as me, here. Could not disappoint her.
To reach the ends of the world even while gasping and having calluses on your bare feet… is all one can dedicate to beauty.
"Excuse me," I hear her voice.
I lower the dumbbells and get up to sit. Gosh, I must be sweaty… push days weren't my best. Why did I have to do this?
"Yes?" I ask, smiling at her.
"I want to try dumbbells, but I need a spot. And… could you?"
"Yes. Most definitely. What are you doing today?"
"Same as you, push day."
So she did observe my routine.
"I see. Yes. Grab these dumbbells I was using."
She looks a little flustered. "Oh? Alright."
She bends down, and I see the curve of her… but try to ignore it. She grabs the dumbbell with both her hands and starts lifting it… and somehow succeeds… but I grab it from her hand as she almost drops it.
"Okay then, we are going lighter."
"Wow. You sure… lift a good amount. I could barely…"
"Don't question it. You'll get better. I used to be this way at one point."
She smiles at me. We do the second lowest weight available. Usually teenage girls do these weights. She sure looks young, but… was she that young? Surely not physically strong, but… her body was stunning. I stare at her while she works out.
We both finish together and go back to the elevator again.
"You did good," I say.
"You're just being nice. Thank you. But I sure hate this sweaty feeling."
"You actually could have washed up in the gym itself. They have like, changing rooms and a washroom."
"Oh they do? I see… I will make sure to use them next time. Thanks."
"No problem."
"No you helped quite a bit… how about you… how about I treat you to a drink? I make… really good use of the mixer," she chuckles nervously.
"Ah… then I guess I gotta see it in practice. Alright."
And so we go back to her apartment and I catch a silent glance of her passcode. She was… naïve surely. And I'm not sure why I even saw that.
"If you don't mind, can I use your washroom to freshen up a bit?" I ask.
"Yes definitely."
As I enter her washroom, I see a bra hanging from a string – which I try to ignore. I simply wash my face and come outside. My eyes finally wander around her room for the first time now… it sure looked cosy but…
My feet get enchanted and I just mindlessly walk forward, straight from the washroom door-
"The towel's on the bed," I hear her voice, making me jump a little.
In her hands I find a smoothie or a juice or whatever… wow, I didn't even hear the mixer.
"Wow, I didn't even hear the mixer. Are you that good?" I chuckle.
But she stares at me, and then looks at the cupboard I was walking towards.
"That cupboard gives a weird feeling, doesn't it?" she asks, and I just look towards the weirdly put purposeless hole in the cupboard. "I got it for a good deal, but apparently it belonged to someone who disappeared. Maybe it is bad juju?"
Many had disappeared randomly, in the past few months. The start were those two brothers. Who just disappeared the same night. Since then the cases have been bad. But they date it back to a year ago when one of those writer friends' body wasn't found. Wherever she disappeared.
"It looks nice though," I claim.
She just smiles. "I don't even have anything in there. So I'm not sure why I have it here."
August 31, 2024
To be in a room full of mirrors with beauty trapped in the centre, and engaging in staining your eyes with each of the beauty's reflection. Knowing your place of viewing… is what it takes to know and be a savourer of beauty.
I sit, gasping a bit. And my eyes focus only on the curves her body makes with each move, each exercise. God, watching her doing squats makes me feel sinful. Something couldn't be so holy and tempting.
I move on to doing my next exercise as her eyes move towards me. I couldn't stare for too long. But I could work my abs. I should. Why else am I coming to the gym? I'm slacking these days, using unnecessary things!
As I gasp, I grab my water bottle, while looking around. Even as the electrolytic drink clears my vision, I don't see her around. I see no one, honestly. Where was everyone? Not like there were many when I came in, but…
I get up, wiping myself with my hand towel. I walk towards the washrooms, hoping for once to see some soul… as if I'm desperate for someone to see how sweaty I was – to show them how much work I had put in. But there really wasn't anyone.
My legs move, as my mind questions why I'm doing this… I feel a presence inside the women's washroom and feel like looking. My hands slowly reaches the handle and pushes the door for my eyes to peek in.
It was her.
My jaw drops to the floor and my hand almost slips. I watch her take a handful of water and splash it on her naked chest. Then to her armpits, when she almost looks back – making me trip while leaving the door and moving aside.
"Is anyone there?" I hear her shook voice. "I'm sorry, I thought the-"
I run towards the men's washroom and lock myself inside one of the stalls. A bit of fear. With my heart rushing… it feels like a weirdly addictive ecstasy to me. My hands shudder as I take out my phone and search for something.
I end up salivating upon my phone as I gasp and get post-nut clarity.
"Oh lord," I cry in a moan, feeling heat across my face. "What have I…"
I look at my sticky phone, as my saliva pours down the screen, blurring out her face in the normal kind of image – making it look like some censored porn.
"I…" I say, shaking my head as the thoughts rush in. "Feel so fucking good. Oh lord… can't I… couldn't I have gotten a better view?"
I look at my phone again, staring for a while – while holding my own organ of sin in my other hand. I feel a bit weird and embarrassed. I should really stop jerking while looking at people's photos. This was becoming such a habit. And now my own neighbour…
"This…" I say. "At least can be done."
It had to be. It's as if my life depends on it.
September 1, 2024
Beauty… is an adventure. A heist of invading a garden to view the flowers… or in hopes that you can crush its petals in between your fingers and claim it as yours. To see the core of its beauty. Hold it there and own it – even when you know it isn't yours. Beauty is to sin.
My fingers swirl in front of the numbers… numbers which were familiar to me even when I had only seen them once. How could I forget? I must've known deep down… this day would come.
I press them before I might get caught, and close it again from the inside. This day… shall be remembered for more than one life, that is for sure. Oh heavenly neighbour please do not scream your Lowly Screams, your shine has been seen. I think the apartment should be pretty soundproof. At least when it is her room.
I put myself inside her closet and wait. My phone not with me – it was unnecessary and useless. Dangerous even. The real thing would be here, and I have my camera for it. Which would fit right into this hole.
My patience is tested, but I wait for her to return. Oh she'd be naked in that gym again. Oh how lucky the person who might stumble there. Oh how I wish she let me just watch in silence. It'd come. She'd be here soon.
Should I video it? Or should I click pictures? Either would work if she is in it. Oh my… I might go crazy for her. Oh my I really wish I do not attempt to claim her. But I know it'd be fine. She might like it. I have been so good to her.
And as I feel dry, she finally enters the room and I start recording. She looks sweaty… she must've stopped cleaning herself up in the gym, after that incident. So I didn't have to wait long.
She turns towards the washroom – with her back facing me. And her dress hits the floor. Like some goddess – oh the heavenly neighbour – she walks towards the washroom. I see her naked back and I can't help but want to hold her in my hands.
She comes to a halt when inside the washroom, and twists a bit to tease me a look of how she looks from the front – while trying to close the door. But I feel like she looks directly at me. Her in between the white and blue walls of the bathroom – looking back… this was heaven.
But the doors to heaven close just as fast. And I feel desperate. I breathe hard, before stepping out. Oh my bodily reactions were acting up, all my hormones spiking up to the peak. I had already had an orgasm in my head while looking at her.
I go to the closed doors of heaven, and feel like I should just peek in, or break in even. Would it be a sin? Can I sin? Can I please sin? Wouldn't care even if I had to go to hell.
"It's okay," I hear her sweet voice say, and freeze from opening the door – its handle in between my palm. " You can come in."
I feel confused, scared, and a bit relieved… so it didn't have to be claimed through force. The dandelion was flying into my hand.
So I open the door.
"But close the door soon behind you, are the floor will get wet…" she says, and I look at the floor. "And stain."
A red liquid flows towards my feet. I stare at it a bit, and look inside… I see a red and black vibe than white and blue. Something screams and races towards me with a red knife and jumps at me – slashing my neck and I-
"No… no…" she calmly says, as I only see her leaning against the wall parallel to me. "That one was… I was too frustrated that one time. Can you really blame me? But don't you worry, darling. That is a universe far away."
"What? What is… how did the colours change? What are you talking about? And…"
"Shhhhh… no Lowly Screams now. Isn't that what we agreed on? What you expected from me?"
"Look, I'm sorry I'm here. I'll just leave. I ju-"
"-you rape me," she tells me. "There are different ways we get to this point. But in the end you just lose control and rape me here, or in the empty gym, or in a struck elevator, in your own room… you rape me."
"I would never!"
"Never?"
She rushes towards me, and I hold her hand and try to push her away but she easily dominates me and holds my front hair.
I see it… I see all she had told me – the ways I kill her and still take pictures and not be done with her. The way I… no, that couldn't be me. But I feel the drive. That means has a motivation in each, a different one.
"And for that I…" she tells me.
I shiver and whimper while kneeling down to the ground. Waiting in the closet I die inside the closet, outside in the room, in the bathroom in different ways, as I try to run into the hall, in my own room with my belongings dug into me, in the gym with so much of me smashed but still gasping and holding onto life, and even the one where she instantly kills me.
"And yet, here you fucking are," she tells me. "I pitied you for having killed you so many times. And each time I wanted to give you a chance. Each time I made it clear, but…"
"Please… I'm sorry," I shiver, looking up at her as if she were God… or a demon.
"I wanted to show you mercy!" my heavenly neighbour tells me in a grunting voice. "But… I think I should show you pain. More pain. Actual, real… pain."
I look at her with confusion… no, she could… I didn't have an escape. She would kill me. There were times I still tried to dominate and rape her, and she would smash my head and break it in between one of her palm.
"You… need to eat your own penis. The way you men… the way you… shoved it into my corpse's mouth… you need to. You have to. You don't have a fucking choice."
I just sit there as she strokes my hair and scans my face.
"Here are some house rules… you can cry like a little bitch, whimper, gasp for air and shit. But don't be too loud and distracting, don't ask for me to stop, don't try to escape, and better be my bitch and let me do what I want to do. Is that clear?"
"What… what are you going to do?"
She slaps me, and I feel a choke in my throat – and cough. "Just say yes. And each time you fucking misbehave, I'll choose one of the older ones for you to experience in clear details."
And as I sit there, she goes away without glancing back or checking on me. She comes back with a few stuff and just smiles at me.
First she removes the top layer of my lips slowly with a nail cutter. She lets me hit the bed as I feel the pain – she only smiles at it as if it were cute. Then she takes a rusty needle and dips it in some chilli powder – to carve some designs which I couldn't make sense of… I couldn't even try to think of that right now.
Please give me death of heavenly neighbour. Please have mercy. Please stop.
And she glares at me.
"I told you… not to ask me to stop," she say and puts her hand on my nose and my mouth – making me breathless. "Now suffocate."
I drown. I move to leave, but I fail. I move my whole body, to escape but moving my lower body only gives me more pain. My penis was put straight into a jar full of acid. And each time I jerked my body, I would get microcuts from the needles which were a hair's breadth away from my penis.
It wasn't just this luckily. Most of my day was spent with me crying in pain as my microcuts and burn marks healed. I was videotaped and was shown all the comments I received on the darkweb – they liked my suffering.
Another day I was shown porn while my penis was in the empty jar. If I got hard, I would be cut. And if I closed my eyes – the hair from my eyelash was removed in different ways from a sharp cutter, a needle, a scissor which cut but of my lid too, and… I'm not sure, my eyes feel dry and I can't cry – I wish to cry, but, I can't.
Then my penis was marinated in acid again. And again. And again. I didn't get food. Or water. I was close to dying. But I was made to eat tiny bits… of my own penis – which had scraped off, when I was in my treatment. I couldn't even puke anything – but I still did, something bitter – perhaps my own stomach acid.
And one lucky day I died.
I gasp and wake up. And she smiles.
"Honey there is more. And if I run out of things – and you somehow don't get brain dead… I could show you how you tortured me. The pain I felt."
She puts some powder on my lips and it burns. I cry and whine, without moving much from my position. As she looks at me and smiles heartily.
She then gives me anaesthesia and lets me watch as she stitches my foreskin close around my penis, and even my butthole. As I ask her to stop – she shows me somewhere else where she gave me anaesthesia too – to stick holes in my septum and tongue.
My legs were amputed without anaesthesia. And I was looked after in a way that I didn't die. Then my hands were amputed too. After which ropes were tied through the holes in my septum and tongue – and oh the holes weren't big enough but she didn't care and pushed them through.
The rope even had glass shrapnel pasted around it – she laughed when making me watch that, and even tied it around my neck and almost choked me to a more pleasant death.
But no… she then dragged me around the house. I couldn't resist – I wouldn't even if I could. And everytime I cried too 'annoyingly' according to her description – she lashed at me, and kicked at me.
My tongue fell out. My septum broke. I almost died, but she brought me back and fixed me, taking a sigh of relief. Then I lost my eyes… and was still dragged around from somewhere I cannot describe – but oh it was painful. I couldn't think straight – I don't know when I died… but I was back in my present scenario.
She feeds me forcefully, as I whine and puke. She slaps and kicks me. She makes me drink water. My foreskin tears and I pee. I bleed out of my asshole – and she applies the burning powder down there after she cleans me up with a high pressure shower head.
"Should I make you eat your shit? Make you bath in your pee? Drown you in your pee? Chop your dick and let you give yourself a fucking blowjob? Make you choke on a dildo?" she asks with madness and anticipation for an answer.
I just stare at her with fear. I couldn't even think of asking her to stop.
But she frowns. "But what is the point? You fucking rapist. You NEVER stop. You have ALWAYS come to do this. Each and every fucking time. Maybe I should let Bright take care of you in Noah's Hell, then you would know actual pain and suffering if I ask of him."
"I'm ready to die…" I nod while shivering. "Please… I beg you. It hurts. In my head even."
She pauses. "Fuck you."
She punches my nose. I see a place where she smashes my whole body and I die from a loss of blood – while in a shock, but also feeling each and everything.
She slaps me. My face tears, and eyes bleed. She suffocates me in my own cum.
She holds me by my throat. And I see a vision of me raping her while cutting her every five seconds. She begs and asks me to stop at least one of the things but I only laugh and tell her I'm getting closer and how – oh no.
I lose count. I watch everything happen as if I'm in a coma. I forget. But I'm given pain, and realise I'm indeed alive. I had gone number yet. But the pain which she gives to my mind, with these visions…
"How are you feeling?" she asks me, and I blink my eyes… and slowly look towards her.
"Well," I scoff. "I fucking deserve to die."
She drowns in a sad way. "Oh honey… no. That is so simple."
"You're right," I say, and she seems confused. "I cannot promise you that I won't do this somewhere else… I'm surely a mindless… no, somebody who thinks with his dick."
She looks a little angry at me, but she doesn't say anything. "I don't wanna pity you."
"Then don't. Look at me… I'm done," I say. "What more suffering can you give me without killing me? I would suffer living the way I am."
She looks at me with confusion.
"This is the you you showed me, speaking. I need to suffer."
Her hands shiver. "This is new."
"But sadly it doesn't change anything. I-I believe… there are different ways one can understand the cruelness… and I realise now. But it is too late."
"But then now you suffer."
"Something I deserve," I say. "I might kill myself."
"Don't tell me," she says, getting up. "I might have to look for other evils. I may be done with you."
"Do you have someone in mind?"
"Mm… The Barber is dead. Bright is too strong for me. The CR was more in the wrong than the bullies. That abomination… is… it is on a thin thread. Farzer would've decomposed – his Gladiator has not been seen in ages. Roach is too sad for me to want to stop her. The cannibal girl is jailed. I should wait."
"That… I think I only understood about this CR – wasn't that that kid who beat up his teacher? And Roach is that… creepypasta."
"Someday… if you live long enough… you may know. Z will be here one day. But I'll let you decide if you want to stay."
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My consistency dropped just like that - 7 weeks? I'm so sorry. I've been sick and so tired... Well, I'm back and I'll get back on track to all the missed weeks. No promises on when but we will be back. Don't panic. Have patience. Your turn shall come too.