Poppycock laughter caused his white beard to shake with much vigour.
"Lad, you truly are a mighty fine idiot. Them ideas of yours, make me really question if yer head aint a broken clock, the way ya constantly get these weird ideas all the darn time."
Moros chuckled right back.
"Pleasure is all mine! I am a broken clock, because I never know when it's time to quit or stop working."
The soon-to-be streamer threw on the dress, a polka dotted red dress that supported his womanly charms. Alas, he was certainly not picking the right kind of meat in front.
There was no way he would attract any kind of attention being this flat. It needed to be bouncing and flopping if he jumped and he was as flat as they came.
"Man…" Moros tried to cup his non-existent chest… "ain't it supposed to be like jelly, soft like pudding?"
"I aint never seen a supposed pudding be this flat."
Poppycock remarked clearly ignoring the fact that he only ever truly touched those of his wife. Moros agreed though, if ya wanted attention ya needed meat there.
The heat Moros was packing was inside his pants, not exactly the heat the viewers were looking for though. Moros looked for ways to alleviate these problem. In a moment of sheer ingenuity his eyes fell onto the cushions that people had lying around.
With a big heart and now a big, fake chest he stuffed them inside the dress. Becoming a mighty fine lady, with a bit of chest hair.
That should be fine, certainly there were no things that he missed out on…
Poppycock with a big grin on his face, grabbed a camera from inside of his pants, the deepest depth only one woman would willingly touch, Moros reminded himself to never touch that camera.
"Lemme help ye there, can't exactly be the camera man and regret yer life choices in front of it, can ye?"
Moros gave him a thumbs up.
The dwarf might be what the single bachelors would call a tsundere, but he really could be thankful for having a friend like him.
Given the bro code, of course he had to give him shit for it, but he did respect the hell out of that dwarf for helping him out and not questioning his sanity, more than he already did.
Moros walked right out of the hideout, Poppycock in tow and placed himself in front of a wall and told his camera man to hit it.
"Mate, an account is needed…ye cant stream without a nickname, an address and many other things like that."
Moros looked at his friend and wondered why they made it so hard to make some money? Though Moros really did not care about the details of this matter. He wanted to stream and not think anymore about this.
That's why he did not put much thought into it.
For nickname he chose "Chickwithbigdick".
For his address he chose the place of his aunt, this was just a test anyhow. She deserved a little bit attention, if he ever blew up. He got the money, while she could swim in all those horny singles…win-win, right?
Gotta get that aunt of his some suitable suitors.
All the other details as the theme of his stream, tags and information about his persona were written at random. He chose to be random princess of a long lost dynasty and was fighting monsters to earn for his people and lineage.
A normal origin story, certainly not the craziest thing he had heard about listening to the newly generated audience for a lot of streamers.
After setting everything up, Moros tried to show a soft smile as he waited for his stream to start…it was an attempt─ to put it nicely.
Moros was as good at being a woman as he was great at being a total normal human being.
And so "Chickwithbigdick" went live for the very first time…Moros smiled and waited and waited for his first viewers to arrive.
"Where are they?" he muttered beneath his smile, asking Poppycock why no viewer had come to his stream.
"'Stream for real motherfuckers' aint really a nice title to choose you absolute dumbfuck," Poppycock whispered back to Moros.
Moros smiled back, leaning forward, pushing his chest out, so his "weapons" seemed bigger.
"I am sorry, for not being girly enough for a princess, you motherfucker. Don't fuck this up, just because you couldn't fuck your wife."
"Oh, miss Princess is throwing a hissy fit, just because not even horny man choose you."
Poppycock replied calmly, not caring in the slightest that his voice was getting louder.
The people that went to the Terra dungeon to fight Gobblas simply walked passed the two men arguing without sparing a glance. They might spare a glance or two, but to them it was merely a gag and nothing serious.
Especially, since there was no womanly voice to be found. Just a weirdo in a dress and his camera man that insulted each other.
"I am sorry, dear Camera man. How about you catch a better angle of me, I doubt people wanna look at my dick all the damn time. Put them on my puppies, thank you…hun."
"User I stan my queen has joined the stream: Hello Princess, your camera man has a point. A real princess has more class."
Moros looked at the voice message that the camera had spat out without his permission. Coughing, he tried his best to put up a womanly voice and reply as a princess would.
"Welcome my foreign hero, I adore you for your sense of humour. TI-HI. If you see that he has a point, I suggest opening your little cute eyes."
Poppycock smiled wildly as he used this chance to throw another jab at Moros.
"Yes, 'princess' please show some manners…your audience demands it."
"I Stan my Queen: Princess, please mind your manners. I am a knight seeking for a lady in need of my guidance, not a dirty woman without a shred of honour."
"How about you fat fuck try to seek your dick fist? I doubt you have seen that thing in ages…TI-HI. How un-lady-like of me… I hope you forgive me… my little servant here, just makes me act so boorish like a man."
"I Stan my Queen: I shall not stand for this slander, you are not a princess, but a common whore not worthy of yours truly here. That foul mouth of yours, is in dire need of being cleansed with soap. It is too unclean for the princess of my dreams!"
Poppycock could not help and chuckled way too loud. His laughter echoed through the dungeon.
"Does the guy…does the guy really think he will find a princess, like that? Mate, ya really should take what you can get. No real princess, would wed a knight, who carries a small sword."
"I Stan my Queen: THIS INSOLENCE. I SHALL HAVE YOUR HEAD. MY SWORD CAN PIERCE EVERY DEMON. IT IS FULLY FUNCTIONAL AND NEEDS TO BE HELD WITH 2 ARMS. THAT IS MY MIGHTY DRAGONSLAYER!"
Now, it was this time for Moros to laugh out loud, it did not sound very womanly, but at this point he did not care.
"My dear knight in shining armour…Ti-Hi this prince…ss of a long forgotten dynasty, shall bestow up on you, the highest honour.."
Moros gave a quick, courteous bow…
"..the medal of "fuck off and kiss my ass"...will you accept this humble medal of honour and provide worth to the real world?"
"I Stan My Queen: What a shitty stream, not only am I getting insulted…this woman has more hair on her chest than I…what the hell is this garbage?"
Moros gave the camera the middle finger…
"My bad…TI-HI…I thought you might the stupid kind, so I gave you something to read. This chest hair was a cursed place upon me, it is the wills of my people pushing me forward…"
Moros dao of spouting bullshit had reached the next stage.
"So please my dear knight, move on and find a princess whose non-existent dick was not bigger than yours."
"I Stan My Queen: Thats it. I have enough of this shitty princess and shitty, ungrateful camera man, I am reporting this channel!
Moros waved him goodbye.
"Good riddance and fuck you, kindly."
"You have been temporarily banned from Kinder, please do consult an admin about your case. Your case will be evaluated shortly."
Moros ripped off his dress and threw his fake chest to the floor in a fit of rage.
"How dare this motherfucker ruin his chance to get money?"
Moros' scream echoed through the dungeon, prompting the people to just hurry on into the new door of the dungeon, pretending that they were not a part of this or never had a single word.
"I Stan My Queen, huh."
He was just a fat loser, acting like he was a knight looking for a princess with manners. The type that had no friends and would never find a gf without drugging her.
Moros swore to remember that name…he swore to get revenge on that bastard. Whenever he would see that name, it would be hunting season. He would not stop insulting him till the end of time and till that fucker would either stop living or stop watching on Kinder altogether.
"I STAN MY QUEEN, YOU ARE DEAD TO MEEEE!!!!"
Moros did not know that this was the start of something bigger, something he had never predicted.