Chereads / Games of Ecstasy / Chapter 4 - The Heart That Was Closed

Chapter 4 - The Heart That Was Closed

The importance of 'first' of anything couldn't be measured. In that sense, Anthony's first kiss in his over twenty years of life was special and memorable, which he wanted to experience all eternity. 

Maybe that's why, even after the announcement of completion of the game, both of them kept kissing each other. Even Amelia herself did not realize that she was so lost in kissing Anthony. 

The passage of time was forgotten and lost at that time.

A sheen of sweat formed on their foreheads due to their increased body heat. In their haze of kissing, they didn't even notice when they closed the precarious distance between their bodies even further. 

Something soft pressed against Anthony's bare chest and squished against him. An unbelievable sensation of softness and melability transferred to him, and he belatedly noticed it only after they stopped kissing. 

Swish. 

They separated instantaneously after noticing the dangerous situation they were headed to. 

"Haah haah..." 

Both of them were short of breath and couldn't say anything, but they were equally flustered at touching their bare bodies—even for a moment. It was especially flustering for the young Anthony and shameful for the mature Amelia. 

'They were huge and... soft.'

He clearly recalled the feeling of her breasts squishing against his chest and rubbed at the spot where their bodies met for a brief moment. 

'It is dangerous. I should control myself.'

Before he knew it, his private part was already acting on his rising lust. It was just fortunate that it was not visible through the blankets. 

Minutes of heavy silence passed between them. 

'I should say something.'

"Should I go and check the rooms?"

"..."

'Was I too insensitive?'

He was with a woman who he had shared a hot kiss with. An awkward silence flowed between them. It was a silence of contemplation of what they had just done. 

It was not the suffocating silence of guilt, but that of shame and embarrassment. It was the proof of their pure innocence when it came to matters of other sex. 

'Ahh, I can't endure it. Let's just go.'

"Please rest here. I will go look for some clothes in the meantime." 

"... Okay."

Anthony nodded quietly to himself at the approval and went to the storage room. 

Meanwhile, Amelia, who hid inside the blankets, was in turmoil. Her heart was trembling and beating furiously due to the myriad of emotions sprouting in her heart at the same time. 

'Ah, I have done it. I have kissed someone other than my husband.'

Was she regretting her actions? Not really. She was just worried about the guilt she would harbor when she escaped from this place. Will she be able to face her husband? 

'I...'

She did not want it. In some corner of her heart, she desired to never return to that place ever again. The place that was more of a confinement than a house. The place her 'husband' and she used to 'live'. She wanted to be freed from it, but never had the courage to do so.

'There was a time when I loved him dearly. But now...'

It was extremely suffocating. The wounds on her heart that were caused by him were soothed for the first time by someone else. 

'I don't know anymore.'

She knew herself very well. She was a weak-minded person and extremely venerable to the kindness of others. That's why she was afraid. Afraid of the kindness of the young man who was so nice to her without any reasons. Maybe there were impure and improper reasons behind his actions, but the calm that was brought by him, was real, and even more so effective on her.

For now, it was just a kiss. But what about later? What if they had to cross that line and do 'that'? Will she be able to refuse him? She was not sure. 

'Will he even accept someone like me? Will I be abandoned again if I go through this?'

Her heart—which had turned cold—fluttered and longed for someone for the first time in a while. That's why the questions that plagued her mind inevitably made her close her heart even tighter than before. 

'What should I do?'

Tears welled up in her eyes as she found herself lost in her life. She wondered many times if death was more peaceful than her life. It was a question that came to her mind naturally, but she never acted on it. 

"Amelia, there are some clothes in the storage room. I am done so you can come out and change."

Suddenly, the familiar voice of Anthony entered her ears. Just like before, it was a voice filled with so much kindness that it was unbearably heavy on her. 

Silently turning around, she looked at his clothed back, and a thought popped up in her mind. 

'Maybe... It would be better to just die after experiencing some joy in my life for the last time...'

It would not matter if she was abandoned after being used. She was already determined to die lonely in this world. 

"What happened...?" The words cut through her thoughts and jolted her awake. Anthony's sudden words made her look into his eyes as he asked with a sad gaze, "Are you... regretting it?"

"..."

Why did she see love in his eyes? She wondered if she was hallucinating and saw wrong. Why would he like a used woman like her who was so timid and useless? 

"Please don't be. It will be a wonderful memory that I will never forget. And you might not believe it and become angry at me, but I like kissing you very much. Maybe... I can do it again...?"

"..."

Badump. 

A thought occurred to her. Maybe it was still too early to decide things. Maybe, she might not be alone in the future, even if she does not find love. It was still too early for her to think of dying when she had not even tried to live. 

At that moment, the desire to live by her own rules began to sprout inside of her, and some of her hesitation and shame flew away.

"Mhmm!" 

She turned around hastily to hide her teary face. Anthony was confused by her reactions and wondered if she agreed to his question, but feeling that she was alright, he didn't pursue the matter anymore. 

"I-I will go change."

"Okay."

After confirming that he was not looking, Amelia quickly ran in the direction of the Storage room.