Chapter 16 - chapter#16 regret

Harry 's POV

She was asking for it. First, she interrupted me during my phone calls. And then she refused to listen to me. It is alright. She deserves this. I don't f**king care. If she calls my name like that. Or her eyes were filled with tears looking so crystal clear almost like an ocean. It doesn't matter if her lower lip was trembling and that expression. It has nothing to do with me. It shouldn't be. This is not me. Thinking about her in such detail. 

I was driving for ten minutes, hardly and my mind was already flooded with the flashbacks of each of every moment that had happened a while ago. 

"F**k", I said as I hit the steering wheel with force. Applying breaks in such a sudden manner, gave me a jerk. The cars behind me, appointed for my safety, stopped immediately. I turn the steering wheel, without thinking about the questions I was asking myself. And in no time, I was heading my car backwards. And the cars behind me followed without any objection. 

I hated the way I was feeling the slight presence of nervousness on my way back. As I saw the familiar paths coming into view. A strange spark was building up in my stomach. An anticipation for what? A relief about something you cannot put your finger at. But it was there. Or maybe I was deliberately making it absurd. Maybe it was so prominent and I was just ignoring it. Too much 'maybe's' floating in my mind, as I reached the exact spot. Where I left her. With that look of disappointment on her face. 

But she wasn't there. 

"Sarah !"

The rush of adrenaline I felt in my body, made me shout.her name without thinking twice. Dark woods by the edge of the road, made my mind drown in the thousand possibilities I was guessing at that time. 

"Find her!" I shouted at my bodyguards, who jumped out of cars to look for her.

I was not thinking straight, when I pushed myself into the dark woods. It was already night. Pitch black darkness was making it impossible for me to see anything. I took out my phone and used its flash. Thankfully, it was making it much better. As I made my way deeper into the woods. My nerves were tightening again. And it was happening again. Electrical shocks travelling through my head making a wave of pain pass through one side. I was clearly feeling the tension that was building up, blocking my blood vessels. 

I groaned. It was unbearable. One hand resting on one side of my head. I was alone in the centre of the dark forest. I knew it. I knew how dangerous it was. I was aware of all the bloodthirsty monsters that lived there. And these ideas were the cause of my rushing into the forest, without thinking about taking a gun or bringing one of the men. 

I fell on my knees. The excruciating pain was making it impossible to stand on my feet.

"Harry ," the familiar voice hit my ear. And I doubt if my ears didn't really perk up at her sobbing voice saying my name. 

"Sarah ," I said as I lifted my head in response. My migraine was making it difficult for me to see and it was dark too. I lifted my phone and stood up weakly. Walking to the north, I got another attack. I groaned loudly. Taking support from a tree with a big trunk, I helped myself to stand. I was thinking if it was just my head or I really heard her. I was doubting my consciousness before I heard her again,

"Harry ," I moved my head in the direction of the voice. I swirled my hand to use the flashlight of my phone. And I saw her, sitting under a tree. Her eyes were half open. Even in the flashlight her flushed skin was prominent. As I approached her, I heard a painful hiss leaving from her mouth. I stumbled twice on the way to her. She was not too far yet not too close to me. When I was near her, I bent down on my knees, her worn out features coming to life when I flashed light at her. 

"Are you okay?" I asked her. Her face was in my one hand grasp.

"Yeah," it was just a word. But what did it do to me? I felt my pain vanishing somewhere in the dark. She was alright. 

"I just tripped on my feet," her voice was crooked. And I felt she was in pain. Moving my phone into her feet direction. There were some deep bruises and a very clear swelling.

"It's-it's. I -uh," I stumbled at my words. Was I apologising to her? This was too much. Me leaving her alone out of anger. Then getting nervous and coming back. Losing my sh*t at her disappearance. And then finding her under some tree. And she was hurt. This feeling was very uncomfortable and chaotic. 

Sitting beside her, I was checking if she could walk or not. 

"Can you-" and then I remembered to ask her the most basic question.

"How did you fell?" She opened her eyes to look at me properly. There was sweat on her forehead. 

"It was-" she was trying to say the words properly, when I saw her pupils widened suddenly, out of fear, her eyebrows creased. I saw her moving her body, although she was in no position to do that.

"Harry ," she lifted her hand, directing her finger behind me. Before I could turn and look back, I heard a very familiar growl. And it was confirmed when I turned, a wolf was standing there. If they are usually stray, then there's no problem. But the condition is worse if they have tasted the human blood. Because it means they are not going to leave before they get what they want. 

It was my pure instinct, covering her with my body.  My back was facing her face. My arm wrapped around her from backwards, trying to cage her  just by one arm. She was holding my arm tightly. I did feel her trembling body. 

The wolf growled again. It was big with black fur. The way fur was raised confirmed to me it was a hunting growl. And I  didn't like the mood.  The third growl confirmed for me, I knew it was going to make a move in a moment or two. All my senses were in a fighting mood now. And he jumped as I predicted. My leg flew and kicked his head with full force. The wolf flew at a distance. It was my chance. I turned to look at her, she was still very frightened. Grabbing her by her waist, I managed to bring her onto her feet. I heard her painful voice hissing. Having no time to ask her if she can walk or not, I carried her in my arms. She locked her arms around my neck to support herself. Without any second thought, I started walking swiftly in the direction that looked a little bit less dark. As I was walking I heard the growl again. 

"Harry  it's coming," she announced. Her lips were touching my ears. I knew the wolf was near. I had no weapon to fight. And she was hurt. I started running. This hissing sound of rustling of leaves behind me, was coming nearer and nearer. I could feel her heart beating. And it was making me more nervous. My pace increased and my feet hit a hard rock. I fell and lost her out of my grip. My forehead hit the ground. I tried to lift myself with the support of my hand. Touching my hand on the forehead, I felt it wet. It was blood. she groaned in pain, it was a loud ground. I turned to find her beside me. 

"Sarah ," I almost whispered.

She was lying like a corpse. I managed to lift myself a  bit. I was hovering over her. My hands were around her body on the ground. My phone was lost. My eyes roamed to see the hiding monster. I knew we were more vulnerable now. The same rustling sound echoed. And my body got attentive. It was in front of us coming towards us. At the threat sign, I felt her lifting her body although she was in so much pain. My arms surrounded her immediately. It was coming towards us at a slower pace now.  I was dragging my body backwards with her in my arms. The growl was more fierce this time. 

Sarah  pushed her body in my chest and my arms were gripping her tight. Like I can hide her in there. The growl was very clear. It was near. I closed my eyes, turning my body to the side. My back was turned to it. With that Sarah  was against my chest. She was dead silent. She was holding me so tight. And then I heard a gunshot. 

We both froze for a moment. I turned to see a flashlight directed towards us. 

"Are you alright, Sir?" It was one of my men. 

"I-uhh. Yeah." I said.

"We didn't know you were in there alone," there were more behind him. I couldn't scold him. It was not his mistake. All of my senses were calming down, gradually. She was still hugging me tightly. I loosened my grip around her. Tilting my head a bit, to whisper in her ear. 

"Sarah . It's okay now." She lifted her head. And then saw the corpse of the wolf. Her breath hitched again. She was still in shock. 

"Let's go," I said as our eyes met again. I stood up. Brushing off my clothes, I took a flashlight and saw the wolf shot in the head. 

"Sir, you are hurt," one of the bodyguards said.

"It's okay." I saw her. She was sitting, resting her back against a tree trunk. She cleared a lump in her throat and she blinked at me.

"She is injured."

"I'll carry her,'' one of the men said as I saw him coming towards her-.

"No need. I will do it," I said, stopping him by showing him my palm. 

It was obvious. She was my responsibility. So I should carry her, right? Not that I am possessive about her. 

Carrying her in my arms was not awkward, but feeling her resting her head against my shoulder and holding onto me, was. Her breath was brushing against my neck. She wasn't heavy.  In fact she was so perfectly fitting in my hands. Our way to the car with her in my hands, felt so intimate. I seated myself in the back. I was not planning to drive. The blood on my forehead was dried now. I straightened her legs. I was holding her upper body in my arms. She felt lifeless. Her skin was pale, hairs dishevelled but still managed to make her look attractive. Her foot was almost double the size of the other feet. She was breathing so fast. It would be a lie If I say I wasn't feeling guilty. She pressed her cheek more firmly against my chest. She was so affected by the incident. She was still frightened and was holding me like her life depends on it. I heard her sobbing  and that did hit me hard. My other hand came to cradle her face. 

"Why did you leave me, Harry ?" was the simple question that made me want to reverse the time. I was feeling ashamed, regretful and sorry. But I didn't know how to voice out my inner self. I wasn't sure if It really mattered what I was going to say now. My face came close to her. I felt myself intoxicated by her natural aroma. It was for a millisecond, I let myself act on my wandering thoughts. And I felt my lips touching her skin just under her ear. It was soft. Both her skin and my kiss. Was it a kiss? I lifted my head a bit and planted another kiss a little above. 

"I am sorry," I whispered. And I knew two men sitting in the front of the car, heard it. And looked at each other with surprised thought. But it was okay. My apology was okay. And the thing before that was just part of it and nothing else.