Sarah's POV
"Are you? By any chance, attracted to me" he said, curling his lips.
Was I?
Maybe I was. Maybe his looks did some spell on me. But was that weird? I mean he is attractive. And I have eyes. So, is that something I should be ashamed of? Being attracted to someone who is attractive. That's something he has, without any effort. It feels ridiculous to see, he is flexing something he is born with. That's not something he actually earned.
Of course I was not supposed to be attracted to him. But it was going to fade away with time. With the gradual shots of reality. As he did give, by calling me a low life. Something I was to him. It was better this way. It stopped me. Made me realise the difference between attraction and love. I was hating him for his words, but I wasn't hurting because I was not involved in him. And that does matter.
"What if I am?" I said, as I folded my arms against my chest.
His mouth opened to show his teeth, to show his celebration that he got another worshipper of his beauty.
"That's the only thing you can get in your life."
"What?" he chuckled in a low tone.
"Attraction. That's what you can get in your life. And you seem such a happy person to have that. Because you don't know how it feels to be loved? How to love? Or how to settle down?"
The unfathomable emotion in his brown eyes was announcing that I did hit his ego. Not that I was happy, but it wasn't just about him, it was about me too. To know where I belong. There. My home. My happy place.
His jaws clenched but he didn't say anything and I saw him turning his head back. Clarke opened the door and offered his hand to me. Which I took. He helped me all the way to my apartment.
As I reached my door, I remembered I lost my bag in the woods.
"Oh my God, my phone and the keys," my hand slapped my mouth.
"Oh your phone, I'll get you a new one," Clarke said.
"Sarah," I turned to see Lillywith utmost bewilderment on her face.
"What happened to you," there she goes again with her drama.
"I just fell," I said, trying to shove her off with my attitude.
"Is that your boyfriend?" She was talking about Clarke .
"uhh-I am just a friend, Clarke ," with which he offered her a hand to shake, which she took, nodding her head.
"Stacy," she added.
"Uhh, Stacy, can you lend me your master keys, I lost my key somewhere," I said apologetically, embarrassed by my previous attitude.
"Ohh, ok. Just wait a minute," she said before she rushed upstairs.
"Is that your friend?"
"Just a neighbour, more like the only neighbour I interact with," I said with a little chuckle. To which he responded with a nod.
"She seems nice," he said looking in the direction she went.
"She is," no doubt she was nice. And that's what matters. How nice you are to others. No matter what amount of money you carry in your bank account. I rolled my eyes at the thought referring to you know who.
Lillycame with her master keys. Which unlocked the door, thankfully. It was very nice of Clarke to wait for her and help me get to my bed. With that he went saying he will send me my new phone. Lillyinsisted that I should let her stay with me for a while. But I shooed her away, saying 'I just want to take some rest'.
And it felt good to come back home. The place where I belonged. Where I was meant to be.
Harry 's POV
"Should I bring something for you to eat?" Brianasked me politely, after I completely ignored his greeting and his concern about the bandage on my forehead and hand. I shook my head. I went straight to my master bedroom.
Standing in front of the mirror, I stared at my reflection. I looked a little tired. There were multiple reasons for that. But what was the reason behind the empty feeling?
I was glad that there was no one to detect my emotions, not that anyone could question me about my personal matters.
But was this something anyone ever cared about? What do I feel? What do I want?
What is the meaning of caring?
I do care about Grandma and she does for me. But is that enough?
I have thousands of people,who scream that they love me. Do they? Is it love? Does love disappear when you are not around? Or it does depend on some hit song or being top of the billboard. Doing things that they want you to do. If that's love, where are people who'll do things I love? Fun fact I don't know myself what I want actually?
I felt my left eyeball dancing in my socket. My vision was getting darker. The pain was getting unbearable. The tension building up on one side of my head made me groan in pain. Grabbing a perfume bottle I hit it against the mirror.
"f**k, it's sh*t. Love is just a piece of sh*t. That b**ch-," I almost didn't recognize my voice. The mirror in front of me was now scattered in pieces.I fell on the ground and I felt my back was hurting from the pieces of glass lying on the ground. It was becoming darker and darker. I saw Brianopening the door and running towards me, and this was the last thing I saw before I passed out.
"I said you didn't need to come, I could handle," Clarke said as he entered my office and walked towards me.
"It's okay," I said as I took another sip of my black and bitter coffee.
"Briantold me that your doctor condemns your caffeine intake."
"That's not the first he said that," I was reading the file. It was sent by Mr. Backer. Terms and conditions about the contract.
"Harry , you need to get your act together," he said after he released an exhausted sigh.
Putting the file on the table, I rested my knees on the table and supported my face with my finger just below my chin.
"And why the hell do I need to do this?" I asked sarcastically.
"For public, for your fans," his tone sounded declaring.
"Fans," I scoffed.
"They don't care about my health. I assure you."
"But your health is important for your work. And it's not about what they care about. We need to entert-."
"For f**k's sake," I shouted. Clarke flinched at my sudden aggression.
"Stop that. Fans want that, fans want this. They don't care about me. They just want their joys from me," my voice was irritated, so was I.
After a moment, Clarke came to senses,
"I don't know why you suddenly want your fandom to care about you. I mean you used to say, money is everything and sh*t like this," he wasn't completely wrong. I did say those things. More like I just said these things. Maybe I never meant them. Or maybe I was not feeling like this right now.
God, thats's bullsh*t.
"I think Harry , you need rest and-," he paused at the creaking sound of the chair that produced due to my sudden movement. I stood up without saying a word and rushed out of the office.
My way out of the building was awkward. Weird stares I felt on me, confirmed me that my messed up emotions were on display. I went straight to the parking and almost shouted at my bodyguards,
"Don't you dare to follow me. I want some time alone," the blood in my eyes made them step back.
I didn't know where I was going. And my mind was in no condition to think rationally.
Last night I suffered from another migraine attack. There were several reasons listed on the prescription. Stress, caffeine, restlessness, etc.
When I woke up, I felt light. But my eyes were still swollen. The tension in my body was not relaxed. Warm shower I took for almost thirty minutes didn't help either.
Brianhad prepared breakfast. Its smell was lingering.
"Should I bring your breakfast? It's a cheese sandwich. You will-."
"Just coffee," I cut him off.
"But your doctor-,"
"Do as I said." I interrupted him again.
He did as I said. He had to. I was paying him enough to not question my doings.
I knew I was stubborn. But it did something to me. Her words. They did something to me.
It was funny, whatever she said didn't sound like something new to me. Her idea seemed familiar to me. Something I used to feel, a long time ago. Something I forgot in the limelight of fame. A feeling that wasn't my priority anymore.
Ironically, I was not shocked at her words. But that's not important at the end of the day. I was doing what I always wanted to do in my life. Even though I wasn't feeling the way I wanted to feel.
I was feeling calmer now. Relaxed. I was driving thoughtlessly for the past hour and when I felt my nerves loosening down, I found myself driving on a familiar road. I let it happen. Following my muscle memory, thinking it may relax me a bit more. And I knew where I was heading to.
The last place I wanted myself to appear.
A place far cheaper than mine. People living there would have been dreaming about a life like me.
I pulled up in front of the building. The building where she lived. Like a movie, I saw her peeking out of the window. Her hair was flowing. Her hands pushed them out of her forehead. I rested my back against the seat. And I let myself relax, by the sight of the woman who was responsible for all the fuss. I saw her smiling at something she saw far away. She waved her hand in the same direction. Not that I care, but it made me think about what made her smile.
Or what makes her smile in general. Are they flowers, chocolates, praises or a piece of jewellery? Or a person. Who would be that person? To whom she'll smile like the brightest star in the sky?
I chuckled in a soft voice. It felt illegal to think like that. It was contrary to how they saw me. It was just the outer crust they knew. They never saw through. But it felt like she did see the part I had never acknowledged myself and I was planning to never do that.