Ryuha stared at the windshield.
The car zoomed past the pedestrians, rain pounding on the windows with heavy thuds. Ryuha took the paper crumpled in her fists and wrote:
Where are we going?
Xavier took the paper careful not to touch her. He hadn't said where they were going. Just when she was about to give him the paper, he had gotten a call. Then he carried her in his arms and snuck her out of the hospital without anyone knowing, and carefully kept her in his car. She didn't ask him where they were going, but she finally summoned the courage to write it out.
"We're going to your sister's house. She asked for you."
Eliza? So he snuck her out, against the elder's just because Eliza asked?
But then, who didn't love her sister? She was bright and radiant, like the sun surrounded by tiny stars, she was always sparkling as if a halo of light hung against her golden locks. She was always bright and optimistic. It probably was her fault that no one liked her. She should have smiled like Eliza and laughed like her, maybe then her parents wouldn't have hated her.
It was pathetic, really, that she was so weak and fragile. There were millions of other people on this planet who had worse lives than her yet she was complaining over little things. She should have worked hard and persevered and made money, took revenge but no she couldn't get herself to do that. It hurt her physically to even look at them, look at what could have been. She couldn't forget, forgive nor get revenge.
Ryuha was stuck in an in-between and the only way to get out was to jump.
But now even that was impossible.
She should hold her self respect, she should her dignity and she should get her revenge, but-
"We're here." He smiled, his mouth ticking upwards and Ryuha forced herself to look at him. She felt her heart beat settle down. His smile didn't reach his eyes. She didn't deserve his real smile. Ryuha knew him better than she knew herself.
She had loved him ever since the summer seven years ago.
Perhaps if she had woken up dead instead of in a hospital, they would have found a letter written to him.
To Xavier Fox,
The boy I loved in school. The boy I continue to love in death.
But she didn't and now she would have to face him every single day.
The car door latched open, we were in a little, cozy street with flat roofed pastel houses, manicured lawns lining the sidewalk. Xavier bent down, a screeching sound echoed past him. It was still raining, like knives pounding on the cement. A wheelchair rolled after him.
"I'll help you down, yeah?"
She nodded.
His hands wrapped around her waist, Ryuha had almost forgotten the pain, tucked into a car but now that she was outside and the freezing cold, the biting rain snuck up, she could abjectly feel the pain crawling up her nerves. He lifted her up and hoisted her arm up his shoulder and her head rested on his chest. The sweater felt warm on her skin.
"I'm sorry. It's cold isn't it?"
She nodded a little, her head still buried in his thick, woolen sweater, and he slowly sets her on the wheelchair. Ryuha imagined him with one of his iconic fake smiles again, wide lips and indifferent eyes, as if he felt no one would notice. She wondered why her family had chosen him as her fiance when he obviously liked Eliza. She wondered why he didn't insist for Eliza to be engaged to him instead of an adopted illegitimate daughter. Then she realized that her family didn't want to give Eliza away.
She was precious to them.
She was precious to Ryuha.
Xavier draped a coat on her and she stilled for a second and then relaxed, finding the warmth comfortable. "Do you remember your sister?"
Ryuha wondered what she should say. But then she shook her head no, it was a fresh start for her. She could finally be a fresh slate. Ryuha was free from them, and she could be anything. Anything she ever wanted.
When she was little, Ryuha wanted to be a florist.
But now, she just wanted to leave everything and lay in a ditch until the world ends.
"Her name's Eliza, she went to a different middle school but you were classmates in high school."
The house said, No 28. It was just how she imagined her sister's house would look like. The pillar in front of her was covered in a wreath of daisies, roses and lilies.
It turned out Eliza wanted to be a florist too. She had declared it on her thirteenth birthday. And Ryuha couldn't follow her dreams anymore. The lawn was overflowing with weeds, birdfeeders perched on the roof, she always said she loved overgrowing weeds, nature reclaiming its land. Eliza loved to say big, sophisticated things.
"We were classmates too."
He pushed the iron gate open as it drew apart noiselessly.
The wheelchair scraped against the pavement, the main door a few meters away from the gate.
"You didn't like her back then." Ryuha couldn't help it, she craned her neck above to look at him. Hate her? Hate Eliza her sister?
Why would she hate someone so pure, so innocent when she couldn't even bring herself to her family? When she couldn't even bring her to not call them her family? It was a lie.
Yes, she was jealous of Eliza, but she was always happy when she achieved something.
Yes, she was envious of her, but she always hugged her sister whenever she was crying. Even when what she had gone through was much worse. Ryuha always shone the spotlight on Eliza, even when it was because of her that Ryuha's life had nothing in it except hate. He looked down at her and smirked, his signature smile falling of his face. She tilted her head and met his eyes again. They were ocean blue, vast and crystalline, and she wondered if she would ever see him smiling.
He rung the bell.
xxxxxxxx
Ryuha had a secret.
She once dreamed of a prince, that would come save her from that hell. One that would love her an only her. One that would feel sorry for her, angry for her, and would never look at her sister.
But it was just a fantasy.
It was just her little secret.
xxxxxxx