Ryuha stretched her fingers as if testing if they really worked. The last cast had finally come off and aside from a few scars on her face and body, she was finally back to who she was before the-. Ryuha reached out to the mirror, her hand trailing a slight scraping sound across the glass as she gazed into her eyes. They were blue, like the sky before it rained, before it became black and thunderous, her face sallow and her nose too-too big, her face too pointed, it felt as if she was warping each second growing uglier and uglier-the mirror really showed your true self didn't it? Ryuha thought.
"Ryu! Xavier's here!"
Ryuha looked at her reflection once again, a light blue piroutte skirt and a white blouse fitted on her like on a manequin, something so pretty she didn't deserve to touch. She blinked and her face settled into a calm facade. She was going to select wedding gowns today. Dread creeped, rooted and blossomed in her heart. Ryuha didn't want to go downstairs to meet with her supposed fiance laughing with her sister, his eyes glued on her every word, her laugh, her eyes and ignore everyone else including his own fiance. Ryuha didn't care, she didn't, he was only a way to escape, a little longer she told herself. A little longer until she was no longer theirs, could never be theirs again.
A corpse bride. Red looked better on her anyway.
She walked down the stairs to meet Eliza who threw herself into Ryuha's arms. Her ribs hurt with the pressure and she pushed Eliza away and she stumbled back a surprised expression on her face as if she had been hurt. Ryuha regretted it instantly. But she couldn't bring it in herself to care or apologize. Feelings be damned. It wasn't going to matter in the end anyway.
An arm slipped around her waist, she tried not to flinch as she looked up to find Xavier in all his handsome glory, well coiffed blonde hair, a crisp suit with a matching blue shirt under. "Be a little gentle next time, okay?" His face stretched into a handsome smile, his eyes a contrast, argent grey cold as ice, threatening her to disagree. behave. behave. one week to go. one week to go. one chance.
She let a smile slip on her face, faker than his and nodded. "Sorry Eliza. I didn't mean it." Eliza displayed a small smile, "It's alright. You don't have to apologize. It was an accident." She smiled widely and locked her arms with her supposed fiance. "Where are we going today?"
"We'll have to meet up with the designer first. And then we'll leave for Vivian's" Xavier said an indulgent smile displayed on his face. She nodded like a dutiful fiance should and exclaimed, "Vivian's!" she played, a hand around her mouth now twisted into an o. like a perfect little bride. a perfect little daughter. a perfect little bo-
"Bye! I'll wait for you!" Eliza exclaimed as Xavier escorted her towards the door. She nodded and waved. Her heart felt as if it were tearing apart from inside out-just die die die how much more pretend play puppet freedom.
Ryuha sighed and opened the door, sunlight streaming into the porch and bathing her in it, she had the intense urge to lay down on the steps and stare at the light until it flickered shut to open into the night and sleep until dawn. How strange. That she couldn't be free in life, that she had to be shackled in order to be finally free. That she couldn't tear off her borrowed dress and borrowed face, strip bare in the garden and run until the world ended so she could leap of its jaded edge and fall into the void of nether, black like darkness, like space-
"Come on. The world's not going to wait for you."
Xavier held the door open, the inside of the car filled with conditioned air, leathered seat and posh perfume. Her steps felt slow and hesitant as if she were dragging herself of the clouds, the sun battering and the wind rustling, her heels clicking, the pavement glistened with dew drops from flowers and weeds growing. She looked towards the right, a straight road stretching seemingly endlessly between same brick houses and even postboxes.
"Our appointment's only an hour away, you know?" She looked up at him. And wondered if she could run away.
pathetic mad freak mental asylum no no freak idiot kill please please dont eyes black black
"I'm sorry."
Ryuha got in.
Dreams were a stuff of the past anyway. What was she thinking? She didn't want to get stuffed in an asylum, she wasn't mad, she wasn't insane. But with each moment she felt a part of her crumble. How far until it reaches her brain?
The driver pressed the accelerator and drove off. "Which of these do you like?"
Ryuha turned around to see Xavier holding an ipad with four designs of pure white wedding dresses and holding it out to her. Sometimes it felt weird to speak. She had no one to speak to before. Then her voice had been taken away. Sometimes, she talked to herself to make sure what she sounded like, to make sure she could still speak. She didn't realize speaking was valuable to her.
"This one" She said choosing one at random. It was the third one with lace finishing, a high neck beaded one with a mermaid silhoutte. "You can drop the act. If you loathed getting married, you shouldn't have said yes." His gentle smile twisted into a frown, "At least pretend to look at them."
didn't want to desparate no choice say yes only choice freedom how dare he evil evil-
No. She couldn't bring herself to care. Ryuha turned back towards her window and watched the world rush by in a ribbon of colors. Xavier stared at the back of her head for one long minute, but then he looked away and sighed. "Choose the ones with this style." He spoke into his bluetooth.
He stared towards his fiance with a scrutinizing look.