~~Marvin POV~~
"Fuck me." I've been saying these words a lot more as of late, and this time it was because of Brooke. She had seen me asleep going through a nightmare. 'What's she gonna do?' Brooke had seen something I wanted hidden; not even Jessica knew that I was still experiencing nightmares and night terrors.
I should have just set an alarm to wake me up earlier or locked the door. That would have probably prevented my current situation. 'Just relax,' I took a deep breath, repeating the words in my head in an effort to calm myself. I was hoping that I was overthinking the situation and that Brooke hadn't noticed anything. But I knew that was just false hope.
I left the room and began heading towards the dinner table, the smell of tender chicken in the air. It seemed like it would be another good dinner tonight. As I walked down the hallway, I could hear the faint chatter of the family. They sounded happy, which was a stark contrast to the turmoil inside my head.
When I reached the dining room, everyone was already seated. Joel was serving the chicken parmesan, Olivia was chatting with Austin about his day, and Brooke was quietly looking at her phone. I hesitated for a moment at the doorway, feeling like an outsider.
"Hey, Marvin, come sit," Joel called out, noticing me. His voice was welcoming, and he made me feel a bit more at ease.
I took a seat next to Austin, who gave me a small nod. "Hey, man," he said casually, knowing nothing about what had happened earlier.
"Hey," I replied, trying to sound normal. I glanced at Brooke, who quickly looked away, focusing back on her phone. 'Maybe she won't say anything,' I thought, feeling a bit of relief.
As we started eating, the conversation flowed around me. Joel and Olivia were discussing some work-related stuff, and Austin was talking about a funny incident at school. I tried to focus on the food, the delicious chicken parmesan that Joel had made. It was as good as it smelled, and for a moment, I could forget about everything else.
I was able to forget about the many conversations I had to have, the sprints, the dumb fight with Desmond, my aching muscles from throwing the ball, and even the awkward moment with Brooke.
"So, Marvin," Olivia suddenly said, turning her attention to me. "How was your day?"
I looked up, feeling the eyes of everyone at the table on me. "It was okay," I said, trying to keep it brief. "Just a regular day, practice and stuff," I said more words than usual hopefully that would be enough to have everyone forget about me.
"That's good," Oliva said with a smile. "Joe told me how hard you were working hard out there."
"Yeah, thanks," I replied, feeling a bit awkward. The conversation moved on, and I was grateful for that. I just wanted to get through dinner without any more attention on me.
Brooke, however, was unusually quiet. She wasn't participating in the conversation as much as she usually did, usually, she would ask Olivia about some of the famous people she represented. I couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking about what she had seen earlier. I tried to push the thought out of my mind and focus on the meal.
After dinner, I offered to help with the dishes, wanting to stay busy and avoid any potential awkwardness with Brooke. As I stood by the sink, washing plates, Brooke came up beside me to put some leftover containers in the fridge. 'Fuck me' I thought once again, things really weren't going my way today.
"Hey, Marvin," she said quietly, glancing around to make sure no one else could hear. "About earlier... I didn't mean to intrude or anything. I was just doing what Dad asked."
"It's fine," I said quickly, not wanting to dwell on it. "Really, don't worry about it."
She nodded, looking a bit relieved. "Okay. If you ever want to talk or anything, you know, I'm here."
"Thanks," I said, appreciating the gesture, even though I knew I wouldn't take her up on it. As she walked away, I felt a small weight lift off my shoulders. Maybe things wouldn't be as bad as I thought.
Finishing up with the dishes, I dried my hands and headed to my room. I needed some time alone to decompress. As I lay on my bed, I thought about the day and everything that had happened. It wasn't perfect, it was actually horrible, with stupid icebreakers, introductions, and other unnecessary things. But I guess it wasn't as bad as it could have been, 'I wasn't shanked' I chuckled at the old memories of fights I had in Juvie.
I do know though that if I wanted things to be better, I would have to change my attitude about school and practice. It wasn't gonna be easy, I'd probably end up going back on this by tomorrow but nonetheless trying to make things better wouldn't hurt.
'Fuck me' I thought as I turned my body and headed to sleep once again, preparing myself for what would definitely be a tumultuous tomorrow.
I lay there, eyes closed, trying to push away the remnants of the nightmare that lingered like an unwelcome shadow. My muscles ached from the day's practice, and the strain seemed to pulse through my whole body, mingling with the stress I felt.
The silence in the room was interrupted by the occasional creak of the house settling and the distant hum of traffic outside. I listened to the sounds, grounding myself in the present and away from the turbulent thoughts racing in my head.
I turned on my side, trying to find a more comfortable position, but sleep felt elusive. Memories of practice and the awkward dinner replayed in my mind, mingling with the unsettling images from the nightmare. Each time I thought I was drifting off, a new thought would pull me back to wakefulness.
My phone buzzed, pulling me out of my thoughts. I picked it up and saw a text from Jessica.
Jessica: Hey, how's it going? I heard you had a rough day
I stared at the screen, unsure what to say. I typed a quick response.
Marvin: Yeah, just a tough day.
My phone buzzed again, and I glanced at the screen. Jessica had replied to my message.
Jessica: I'm here if you need to talk. Even if it's just to vent.
I stared at the message, the offer of support hanging in the air. I appreciated it, but right now, talking felt like an insurmountable task. I put the phone back down, focusing instead on the slow, steady rhythm of my breathing.
The clock on my nightstand ticked steadily, marking the passage of time. I took a deep breath, focusing on the rhythmic sound. It was a small anchor, helping to calm the chaos in my mind.
"Fuck me," I muttered again, the phrase almost a mantra now. It was a way to acknowledge the frustration without letting it consume me completely. I shifted positions, trying to find a comfortable spot, and eventually, sleep began to take hold.
In the quiet darkness of the room, I let myself slip into a restless sleep, hopeful that tomorrow would bring a shift, a chance for things to improve. As I drifted off, I clung to the faint hope that the coming day might be easier, that the nightmares would fade, and that I might find a bit of peace amidst the chaos.
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The second day of school began with the harsh sound of the alarm clock. I rolled out of bed, still feeling the lingering fatigue from yesterday. My muscles were sore from practice, but I pushed through my morning routine, knowing that I needed to face the day.
By the time I made it to the kitchen, Joel had already left for work. Olivia was busy with her own tasks, preparing for her day. I grabbed a bowl of cereal and a glass of milk, eating quietly while she moved around the kitchen. We exchanged brief nods, and she gave me a warm smile before heading back to her office still in her bathrobe.
Austin and Brooke were nowhere to be seen, I guess Austin had already headed to school and Brooke probably left with her friends again.
With the house quiet, I finished up and made my way to the bus stop. The crisp morning air was refreshing, and the walk to the bus stop gave me a moment to collect my thoughts. The bus arrived on time, and I took a seat near the back, watching as the familiar route unfolded before me.
"Dead eyes" Lisa called out to me as she took the same seat across from me as yesterday. I just nodded at her, I'm not really interested in conversation, but I remembered what I had told myself last night, so I had to nod at her.
Thankfully She wasn't interested in talking either as she plugged her headphones into her ear, the bus picked up Caleb, Adam, and their group of friends. I nodded at both of them, but I did not engage in conversation, I wasn't eager to converse with an energetic Caleb, especially in the morning.
As the bus continued its route, the familiar surroundings provided a small comfort amidst the nerves of another school day. Lisa's quiet presence was a welcome reprieve, and I focused on the view outside the window, trying to drown out the buzz of conversations around me.
When we reached school, I stepped off the bus and headed straight for my locker. The halls were already bustling with students, and I tried to navigate through the crowd with as much ease as possible. I was starting to recognize a few faces from my classes, but most of the people still felt like strangers.
The hallways cleared out as the first bell rang, and I made my way to my first period. It was Art, and thankfully, I had a window seat that allowed me to zone out a bit. The teacher, Mrs. Laura Bennet, went through the usual introductions that all the teachers had done, I was able to tune it out by now, thankfully she didn't have us do anything just passed us the list of supplies we needed. For the remainder of class, my mind kept drifting back to the previous day's events and a lingering feeling of unease.
For the rest of my classes, I was able to simply sit in a corner not having to interact with any of the students and teachers. It was looking to be a simple day until I went to study hall and had to deal with Mrs. Dorohty once again.