Time was moving itself in its own flow. We were moving together holding hand in hand along with the flow of time. I used to feel that I also had someone in my single life. I used to feel more energetic in her companion. Her presence in my life used to motivate me for doing something. I used to enjoy a lot. I guess she also used to enjoy those moments.
I was waiting for Pa to return from his work and was a bit worried. I had made my mind to tell him about Suravi. I was sitting on sofa in the living room. After few minutes, Pa entered from the main door. He came closer and sat on the sofa next to mine. He said,"What are you doing son? And I didn't see you at home during daytime. Where were you?" "I was at Pasupatinath with my friend for the whole day." I said. "Friend or girlfriend?" He said a bit louder. "Girlfriend." I said.
"You scoundrel. Who gave you permission to make a girlfriend and go to date with her?" He shouted. "I am really sorry Pa, I was about to say you about her." I said very politely. "And why didn't you tell me about her till date?" He said and smiled. "I thought I would say about it later." I said.
Mamma entered in the living room with a glass of hot water and handed it to Pa. Pa took a sip of water and kept the glass on the table. Then he said,"It is okay. But tell me is she brahmin alike us?" I couldn't lie to him hence I said,"No Pa, she is not brahmin. She is from so called lower caste." "What?" He spoke a bit louder. "Yes Pa." I said.
He remained silent for a while and said to me,"Look boy, you must leave her before it becomes hard for you. Our dignity doesn't allow us for this relationship. Do as I say. It is matter of the society. It doesn't matter even if we accept her as society will leave us good for nothing."
My mind could not figure out what to do. I couldn't make a decision. It was already hard for me to figure out what to do. "Should I leave Suravi or Should I fight with Pa?" My mind couldn't tolerate the circumstance. But I thought to convince Pa. I said to him,"Please Pa, I can't leave her now. It will be hard for me. Please accept our relationship."
"It is strictly no from my side. It is now better for you and us to forget her. Focus on your study. Do not waste your brain in unnecessary stuffs. I have some work to do. I will catch you later." Pa said and stood up from the sofa and started to move towards main door. "Please, wait for a while Pa. I haven't finished up yet. You have to listen to me." I said. He turned towards me and said,"Look son, I don't want to discuss much more on this. No means no." "Please Pa, I have obeyed you with blindfolded eyes till date. I always respected you and will continue to do but this time you have to respect my emotion. Moreover, I have made promise with Suravi. And you were the one who had told me that a person who doesn't keep promise is a murderer." I said.
"Fuck up your promise. Your promise is worthless in front of my dignity. Have you made your mind to cut my nose?" Pa said in a loud voice. "What is the worth of that useless dignity and large nose as you are trying to kill wishes and desires of your own son? Have you forgotten? Do try to remember once those days of my childhood. You used to fulfill all my wishes at once. You used to make me sleep along with you as an infant till my adolescence. You used to protect me from those bad boys of the community as a tigress protects its cub from jackles. But today showing the reason of so called caste you are trying to detach myself from my soulmate. Look Pa, I have offered my heart to Suravi." I too said in a loud voice.
"Oh my god, how dare you shouted to your father? I have fulfilled your every wish till date and will fulfill all other wishes in future. But do not argue with me on this. Oh Ritey, where are you? Convince your son yourself. I can't. He wants to pee on my face." Pa said rudely and left the living room. I entered my bedroom and locked the door from inside.
I took rest on the bed. My mind started to make unnecessary stuffs. I felt a bit anxious. But I couldn't figure out towards whom my anxiety was. I tried to fall asleep but that moment even sleep also didn't support me. I took rest on the bed staring continuously at the ceiling. Yes, I remained unconscious staring at the ceiling.