[Caution: Self-harm]
"After my mother disappeared…
An eleven-year-old Yuki sat motionless; her dainty frame slumped in a chair outside her godfather's cottage. Her eyes, vacant and red, from endless tears. Her pale face was fatigued, while her gleaming hair hung limp and lifeless, like a reflection of her shattered spirit.
Her eyes were fixed on the open fields in front of old Cecil's cottage. There was a fading hint of hope in her blue eyes as she looked ahead, as if waiting for someone she knew was never coming, but hoped they did.
After a long while, Yuki's little hands that lay limp in her lap stirred, then, they slowly gathered a handful of the fabric of her skirt and clenched it. Fresh tears, clear and unrestrained, welled up in her eyes before streaming down her face.
With a slow, mechanical movement, Yuki rose from the chair. She sniffled, stared in the fields once more, then took a step forward. Her movements were stiff and jerky, as if her limps were inflexible from disuse.
As she crossed the threshold into the house, the creaking of the old wooden floorboards beneath her feet echoed through the silent house. Yuki navigated her way through the familiar rooms and towards her godfather's laboratory.
When she finally arrived in the room, Yuki went up to the shelve with jars labelled with red ink. As soon as her eyes fell on the jar with the label 'batrachotoxin', her hands reached out, seemingly on its own accord and grasped the jar with a limp and lifeless grip.
Yuki opened and raised the jar to her lips and took a sip of the content inside the jar.
As soon as the liquid passed her throat down into her stomach, an agonizing look replaced Yuki's blank expression. She put the jar back to its former position and brought her hand onto her stomach.
"Ahh…" she groaned inaudibly. Her pained frame slowly slid down onto the laboratory's floor.
Consecutive groans and moans followed the first as Yuki clutched her stomach desperately. Her mouth was frozen in a silent scream. A thin line of blood trickled from the corner of her mouth. Subsequently, her nose started to bleed as well. Her chest heaved with convulsive gasps as she tried to extract air that seemed nonexistent.
Yuki's fingers clawed at the ground, as if she was seeking a way to dig out of the nightmare that was consuming her.
After sometime, the child's movement gradually came to a halt. Her breathing, slow and feeble, soon seized.
Jacek's eyes widened in disbelief; his brows raised in shock. His mouth hung open, as if Yuki's narration had sucked the air out of him. he was frozen in his spot like a statue, his gaze fixed on Yuki as if trying to process the enormity of what she had just revealed.
"You tried to take your life?" Jacek forced out with difficulty while still hold his sister's gaze.
Yuki shook her head vehemently. "Though I was not in my right mind, that was not my intention. I was not trying to die. I do not know why I did it; but dying was not the reason I consumed the toxin!" Yuki clarified earnestly.
"In the past, whenever I was ever in any form of trouble, mother was always there to save me…perhaps, I thought she was going to appear if I did what I did then." Yuki studied Jacek's dumbfounded expression that he had failed to keep hidden.
"But you could have died, Yuki. Had your godfather not found and saved you, you could have died!"
Yuki looked away from Jacek. Her countenance dark and heavy. "You are wrong, Jacek. Godfather never saved me. He does not even know what I am telling you."
A confused expression was added on to the assorted others on Jacek's face. "What do you mean? Did your godfather not find you in time and save you?"
"No. No one found and saved me."
"What are you saying Yuki? How did you survive then?" Jacek asked with a confused expression.
"I am not sure, but when I woke up, I was completely fine. It was as if everything was a dream, except the trail of blood from my nose and mouth existed as proof that I actually consumed that venom. If not, there was no lingering pain or whatsoever when I woke up."
Jacek received another wave of shock. "Then are you saying you died and rose from death?"
"I don't know. I never understood what happened. I always felt as if I was abnormal and that day always reminds me that I am not wrong. My mother was intelligent and secretive, I know she understood me to a certain degree though she never told me anything. Her origin is mine as well, till I know more about her, I cannot even dream of a normal future for myself."
Jacek quietly gazed at Yuki. He always assumed she was only focused on knowing what happened to her mother; an obsession she couldn't overcome. It turned out that he was wrong. It seemed that even though she wanted to find the truth about her mother, she was more curious about herself.
Jacek always thought Yuki sometimes seemed unhuman. She had unearthly beauty, she was extremely intelligent and talented, she exuded an unusually mystic aura and above all else, she went through things that normal people didn't.
"Could it be… are you perhaps a mythical being?" Jacek took on a playful countenance and spoke with an unserious tone. He wanted to lighten the seriousness of both his and Yuki's moods.
Yuki's thoughts cleared instantly, she glanced at Jacek with a disgusted and annoyed expression. "Damn you and your nonsense. Get out of my face!" Yuki cussed and walked to Jacek's bed and sat. Her expression was much lighter now.
"Fairies do not cuss, sister. Who corrupted you?" Jacek teased as he persisted in his quest to lighten the grim atmosphere. Yuki threw him a glare.
Jacek left the window and neared his sister. When he reached her, he knelt before Yuki and took her hand in his, "Let's not think too deeply for now. We can think about the serious things later. For now, you are Yuki Adlerian, my completely normal sister. For now, you are a simple florist. For now, you are mother's perfect daughter, nothing less or more. Till we receive news from the Duke, I hope you will only think yourself as Yuki Adlerian, okay?" Jacek questioned with a pensive look.
Listening to Jacek calmed Yuki a bit. She beheld his sincere and unwavering gaze with trusting eyes. Yuki was relieved. Even though she did not doubt that her brother would not look at her differently if she revealed the truth to him, she was glad he did not disappoint her. She was relieved that in his eyes, he was still his normal, younger sister.
Therefore, without thinking deeply about what Jacek said, Yuki agreed to his request with a small nod and a silent, yet audible, "Okay."
She did not have to over think it; she did not need to. Afterall, she never gained anything positive from overthinking. So just like he said, she was going to believe she was Yuki Adlerian. Her mother's innocent daughter and completely normal girl. Nothing more, nothing less.