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Iglecion- I Hate My Life!

🇺🇸CountrySaiyan_30
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Synopsis
Hi! I’m Yoshi Nobori and I’m a virgin. I suddenly found myself reincarnated to a new world! This place is beyond my wildest dreams! Gobins, slimes, dragons, and beautiful ladies! This place is almost like a video game too! I can level up and even use magic! But everywhere I turn, it seems like nothing goes my way! I joined the adventurer’s guild to try and make money but that stupid god messed with my wishes and now I feel ordinary! I mean, ain’t I supposed to be the hero of this story and defeat the demon lord? Did I mention that I’m joined by some ridiculously overpowered party members? But here’s the catch, they’re so freaking weird that I don’t even know how we get called on like we do. One is a fruity guy who is a freaky sadist and loves bdsm, the other is some sexy elf who’s a yandere and a dominatrix who won’t let anyone near me, her “beloved,” oh and don’t let me forget about that freaky, perverted, loli of a vampire! Between them and her always trying to suck me dry, I can’t get no peace! I wish I could just die! Oh god! Why did I ever want to come to this world! I hate my life! ——— Hi everyone, CountrySaiyan here, I just wanted to say that I’m excited to start this series up! It is heavily influenced by the anime, “Konosuba” and this is no fanfic. I hope that all of you get ready for many laughs as you join Yoshi in his new life. *warning* Get ready for many anime references! Be even more prepared for spicy scenes! Humor is greatly required and alone places are recommended! ——— I hope you’re ready for the grand adventure that is Iglecion! Also! Don’t forget to comment and leave your reviews! The more people see this and higher the ranks we climb, the more people get to see what kind of bad- I mean great life our dear Yoshi will have! And finally, go check out my other fanfic book, “Even A Saiyan Can Be A Fairy” Thanks!
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Chapter 1 - A Pathetic Virgin

It was any other typical day.

You could find me in front of my gaming pc killing goblins, or doing side quests. That's right, I play mostly RPG games. They could be about anything, mythical fantasies, date sims, even open world, the list could go on and on.

I had found myself playing the newest open world RPG called, "Starborne." 

That's right me and my friends waited forever for this game to release, we even had the ultimate edition pre ordered. But this game isn't like any other, oh no, it focuses heavily on NPC interactions and the romance. That's where this game separates from its competitors.

When we saw the trailer, they showed mythical creatures, loads and loads of spells, weapons, and armor to get, who wouldn't be excited, but then came the romance. That's right, this game has romance to the next level, I'm talking about side quests, date scenes, and yes, boobs. 

These hunnies, that you can get your hands on, are to die for. They are drop dead gorgeous and have voices like honey. Man! Get a load of some of the shy brunettes, yum! Passionate blondes? Oh yes, blonde and busty gets me lusty! The developers knew what they were doing because these sexy scenes are in 4k, yeah I said it, 4k!

Me and my friends, Kagata and Oharu, foamed at the mouths for this game. Who would get excited over elf boobs or some human's dump truck of an ass, you may ask. People with a taste of culture! And you maybe even laughing at how pathetic I sound, but that's ok! Because I'm going to conquer all these baddies, and will form my harem!

Or that's what I thought until that faithful day.

Hi, I'm Yoshi Nobori and you probably guessed it, but yeah, I'm a virgin. 

...

"Hehe, Rachel aren't you just a trouble maker. Ohhh!"

Yoshi was sitting in his gamer chair staring at his screen like any other time. When he would come home from high school, he would immediately grab some food and run to his troll den, where he would lock the door and turn off the lights.

He is seen having a sexy scene with one of the game's romance options and it's getting spicy. 

'Whoa! Boobs! Those got to be triple Ds! Just wait until I tell Kagata and Oharu about this baddie.'

"P-Please be g-gentle," Yoshi heard threw his headset.

Yoshi started to breathe heavy and get squirmy.

"Gentle you say? Hehe, gentle will be the last thing on my mind." 

...

"Ugh, like totally. Those losers don't even begin to fit in. I would NOT let them in our little group. They totally reek of nerd."

Yoshi's sister, Deyomi, is having a video call with a few of her friends.

"I can't believe they even came up and spoke to us, like it totally put me in a mood," one of them said.

Deyomi was apart of the student council, but was also one of the popular ones in school. She also has some of the most beautiful and richest girls around her, and only the jocks and rich guys have a chance at them.

She has one thorn in her side though, that's her hermit of a brother. He's only got 2 friends, he doesn't participate in any clubs or sports, and he stays locked up in his room a lot of the time playing video games. He really cramps her style and sometimes she wishes she wasn't even related to him.

Deyomi leans up from her bed. She had been laying on her back and holding her phone up in the air. She had got a text from her father for her to come downstairs and talk with him.

"Listen girls, I got to go downstairs, so I'll be back," she says.

"Awww, Deyomi girl, you know you can take us to the girls' room with you, we do it all the time at school."

"I knowww, but it isn't that this time. Daddy asked to talk to me and you know how he gets if he doesn't have my full attention. Who knows what it could be this time."

One of the girls giggles.

"Yeah that's the truth."

"Ok girls, byeeeee!"

"BYEEEE!!!"

They all say loudly and waving goodbye to Deyomi. She leaves her bedroom and starts down the hallway. As she passes her brothers room, she glaces and notices that the door is cracked.

'That's weird. He never has his door open. I wonder what this loser is doing.'

Her curiosity gets the better of her and she quietly opens the door, just enough where she can see with one eye.

Too her bewilderment, she finds Yoshi's pc screen filled with one beautiful woman and she was a whole lot of naked.

She brings her hand up to her mouth and is trying to keep a laugh in.

"Oh my gawd! This is total gold! Just wait until everyone sees this," she whispers to herself.

Deyomi lifts her phone up and focuses the camera to take a picture...

...

'Dayum! Who knew that she could have such a rocking bod. I can't wait until-'

*FLASH*

Yoshi shoots his head around and sees his sister's head and hand sticking through the door, holding her phone out. She had a look in her eyes that said his reputation was going to be burned after this one.

She shoots back out the door and slams it. Fear creeps all around Yoshi as he just realized what happened.

"Oh! Nonono! I thought I locked the door! She knows that she can't get in here, but how?! There's no possible way-"

Yoshi stops. Sweat starts to roll down the side of his face.

"AHHHH! Holy shit! How could I be so careless!"

He didn't notice it because he was in such a hurry, that when he had went to the bathroom and rushed back to his room, he didn't close the door properly.

He falls out of his chair and onto his hands and knees.

"No! My days at school are over! Everyone will know by tomorrow!"

Yoshi knew that with his sister, any dirt she gets on somebody, spreads like wildfire through the school. He's dead meat!

All he could do, for the rest of the night, was just prepare for his intimate doom. 

...

The next day at school was like hell on earth for Yoshi.

It started before class started. Some of the guys came marching in, swinging their phones around the classroom, showing the picture of Yoshi in it.

Everytime he went down the hallway between classes, the girls would laugh at him. 

He was picked on or laugh at all day and it was nonstop. Only Kagata and Oharu were there for him. They tried cheering him up, but nothing they did would help.

Finally school ended, and Yoshi walked home, like he did every day. 

He was hanging his head in embarrassment and sorrow. He reminisced on the entire day and couldn't believe his own sister would destroy his entire life like that. He didn't know how long he had been walking or where he was going, because he had been lost in his head, but he had come up on a crosswalk.

*DINK*

"Oww! What the hell!"

Yoshi grabs his head as he looks up to see that he had ran into the crosswalk sign beam.

"Ha! Serves you right! Next time pay attention or you'll find yourself in the road!"

He looks to where the voice came from and see that there was an old lady, with a cane, standing beside him.

Yoshi grumbles to himself as he rubs the spot on his head. Finally the light signalled that it's safe to walk across the road and the old lady starts to walk. Yoshi notices that she's very slow and it seems like she needs help. He grabs her arm.

"Here, let me help-"

"HELP! THEIF! HE'S TRYING TO ROB ME!"

Yoshi lets go of her and jumps back. He puts his hands up to show that he doesn't mean any harm.

"I'm not trying to rob you ma'am. I was just trying to help you across the road."

She doesn't hear him.

"HELP! HE'S RIGHT HERE!"

"Look! I'm trying to-"

*BAM*

The old lady takes her cane and hits him over the head.

"Ow! Hey! What the hell was that-"

*BAM* *BAM* *BAM*

She hits him more and Yoshi freaks out.

"Please stop! I don't mean any- Ahhhh!!!"

The old lady grabs Yoshi and puts him into the ground, like a professional jujitsu fighter. She then starts stomping him and hitting him more with her cane.

"HELP! I GOT HIM! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE! HELP!"

...

Yoshi's eyes shoot open and he finds himself in a beautiful throne room. He looks around with his mouth open, amazed at what he sees.

"W-Where am-"

"YOSHI NOBORI!"

A booming voice fills the air and a bright light shines above the throne.

A manly figure descends from up above and sits on the throne. He is joined by two beautiful women and they lay at his feet.

He smiles at Yoshi with warmth that fills his soul.

"Uh," Yoshi says, while looking around, "Where am I?"

He locks onto the manly figure in front of him.

"And who are you?"

The man snaps his fingers and a chair appears beside Yoshi.

"You might want to take a seat," he says, motioning Yoshi towards the chair.

"Why? You still haven't answered my question."

The man's smiles disappears and then his face is filled with concern.

"Dear Yoshi, I'm sorry but you have sadly…died."

Yoshi cleans out his ear with his pinky.

"Hold up, I don't think I heard you correctly, care to say that again?"

"You have died."

"WHAT!"

To be continued…