"WHAT!"
Yoshi's mouth hits the floor.
"Died! How!"
"I know, it's such a shame," the man says, while wiping a tear from his eye, "Such young life brought tragically to an end before it could even start."
"But that doesn't even make any sense, one moment I was getting the shit beat out of me by an old lady but that-"
"You were what," the man says monotoned.
"I was...getting the... shit... beat out of me... by an old... lady?"
The man lets out a snort, but quickly covers his mouth with his hand.
"Did you just laugh at me?!"
"What! Who me? Preposterous!"
Yoshi throws up his hand and points at him.
"Yes you did! I just saw you trying to hide it! Look! Even they are trying not to laugh."
He brings the attention to the two ladies laying at the man's feet. They were softly laughing at Yoshi.
"You still didn't answer my question! Who are you?! How'd I die?!"
The man holds up his hand.
"Alright, Alright, settle down."
Yoshi finally settles down.
'Finally. I'm about to get some answers out of this jerk.'
"I am the god of reincarnation, Utarr."
He snaps his fingers and a scroll appears into the air and lands in his hand.
"Now, I haven't read the report for myself."
"You what," Yoshi says monotoned.
"Hey! Just because I'm a god doesn't mean I'm omniscient. I was only informed of your name and that you died."
"Uh huh."
Yoshi had a face that spelled "disappointment."
Utarr growls a little, gripping the scroll tight and squeezing it.
"Do you want to know how you died or not?!"
Yoshi straightened up his act.
"Y-Yes! Sorry!"
Utarr nods his head in acceptance.
"Good. Now to the scroll."
He opens the scroll and squints. He is moving it back and forth trying to make out what is written.
Yoshi starts to get impatient and begins to tap his foot.
"Hehe, sorry. They usually aren't like this," Utarr says, still struggling to read.
His face grows red with anger after a few more minutes.
"I bet Minerva wrote this report! I hate when she writes, because she has to write so tiny you can't even read it! After I get done dealing with this human, I'm going to make sure I give her a peace of my mind! Glasses! I need glasses!"
Yoshi is shocked and bewildered by this god.
Utarr snaps his fingers once again and a pair of glasses lands in his hand. He puts them on and looks at the scroll once more.
"Ah, that's better. Now!"
He clears his throat as he begins to read.
"In the incident of the death of Yoshi Nobori. Age- 17. Hair- Brown. Eyes- Brown. Height- Ugh! Skip!"
Utarr starts skimming through the report and mumbling.
"Parents never separated. Was in high school. Whoa! Parents were loaded. Not bad. Hmmm, ah! Here we go! Cause of death."
Yoshi awaits in anticipation, wondering what caused him to die.
Utarr sputters and beings to laugh.
"Haha! No way! You died like that! Haha!"
He starts laughing uncontrollably and even shows the two ladies and they start laughing.
Yoshi grows angry and growls.
"Stop laughing! Tell me how I died!"
Utarr brushes the tears away, that were forming in his eyes, from his laughter.
"Yes, yes of course. Cause of death. Due to the injuries sustained by being beaten by an elderly lady, for attempted robbery-"
"I WAS NOT TRYING TO ROB HER!!!!"
Yoshi started breathing heavy from yelling.
"Yoshi Nobori was taken to the hospital and his family notified. He was so terrified about his reputation being ruined even further, thanks to an earlier incident, that fear of his sister spreading news that he was beaten by elderly lady, caused him to sporadically go into cardiac arrest and..."
Utarr started snorting with laughter again.
"Due to *snort* the medical personnel finding out *snort* they laughed at him and couldn't revive him in time. Hahaha!!"
Yoshi's went red in the face. His eyes were wide, his lips were sealed and thin, and he started sweating and shaking from the utter embarrassment.
'Oh! My! God!'
Everyone in the throne room were still laughing.
'What! The! Actually! F*ck!'
"Ok! Ok! That's enough laughing. Gods you are such an interesting human. I haven't laughed like that in centuries."
He stands and walks towards Yoshi. He places his hand on his shoulder when he reaches him.
"Don't fret boy, just because you died a most ridiculous death."
'This mother-'
"You have options!"
"What do you mean?"
Utarr puts his hand to his chest and puffs it up.
"I am the god of reincarnation after all."
Yoshi's eyes light up.
"Oh yeah! Am I going to be reincarnated in a better place? Maybe I can have good looks? I might even get a girlfriend finally! Fame! Fortune!"
Utarr holds up his hand to signal Yoshi to stop his rant.
"Although..."
'Oh here we go.'
"Although reincarnating back to your world would be great for you..."
"What are you saying?"
"I have another opportunity for you," he says cheerfully and clasps his hands together.
"What could be better than being reborn back into Japan," Yoshi asks monotoned.
Utarr gets close to Yoshi's ear and whispers.
"How about magic and the most beautiful women you could imagine."
Yoshi goes wide eyed. His inner gamer is about to come out.
Utarr stands back up straight and walks a circle around Yoshi.
"This world is plagued by the great evil demon lord! You can take your magical abilities and you can set this world free! It only needs you!"
"Yeah, no."
"Fantastic! We just only need- Wait, what?"
"I said no."
Utarr was shocked. He couldn't believe that Yoshi just rejected his offer.
"No?! I'm giving you an offer of any gamer's dream and you say no!"
Yoshi holds out his hand in a nonchalant way.
"It's is tempting, but you said that speech in a way that sounds like you've practiced that about a million times. Plus.... I like my home world."
'It's not like I don't want to go there. I mean, magic? Like hell yeah! But a demon lord?'
Utarr starts laughing sarcastically and starts to rub Yoshi's shoulders.
"Come on, this world needs your help. Plus, I can't get many people to reincarnate there."
Yoshi jumps away.
"I wonder why! Sent there to fight a demon lord? Yeah no thanks!"
"Please! I need you to go! I need this to win a bet!"
"Huh," Yoshi says monotoned.
"I-I mean, I need you to save this world!"
"Nono! I heard that! A bet!"
Utarr sighs.
"Yes, we gods like to challenge each other to bets and well I got myself into a pretty big one. If I lose, then the other god wins some of my worshipers from another world! I can't have that! It'll weaken my status!"
Yoshi looks disgusted and disappointed in Utarr.
'This god is just pathetic.'
"Don't give me that look! Oh please, please, please! I'll even give you some wishes that'll give you a boost there! It might even help you get laid!"
"O-Ok! Ugh get off me! Fine! I'll go!"
Utarr had been clinging onto Yoshi and shaking him. He lets him go and gives him a big smile.
"Fantastic!"
He walks back over to his throne and sits.
"You can only have two wishes so make them count."
'Only two huh, well I'm lucky to get any at all. Let's see, if it's like an RPG then...'
"For my first wish, I would like to have a pet dragon!"
Utarr smiles and snaps his fingers.
"It'll be there when you get there."
"Then for my 2nd wish..."
Yoshi goes in thought once more.
'There's so many options that I can't choose! But if there's magic, maybe I should get a boost in that? Ummm, that could be the logical thing.'
"I would like a boost in magic."
Utarr snaps his fingers once more and then stands.
"Great! Your wishes have been granted. It will be known that you died and reincarnated into a magical fantasy world. Yoshi Nobori! Good luck!"
A bright light starts to appear around Yoshi. He could start to feel himself ascending upwards.
"And may you defeat the demon lord!"
Yoshi vanishes as he's transported into the new world.
...
"Did you have to do him so dirty, Utarr?"
One of the two ladies asks this as Utarr sits back on the throne.
He giggles to himself.
"He bought it didn't he. It's not our problem any more. Beating that stupid Dagon in that bet matters."
"Did you actually grant his wishes?"
Utarr smiles wickedly.
"Of course! But it isn't what he's envisioning."
"Aren't you ever so devious."
Utarr laughs.
"It's for our entertainment after all."
He gets up and motions for the ladies to follow.
"Come one, let's go enjoy ourselves for now."
They vanish as they enter back into the realm of the gods.
To be continued...