Chereads / A Gacha-Grimoire System's Fae Gamble / Chapter 2 - 2: Cauldron's Not-So-Good, Very Questionable Day

Chapter 2 - 2: Cauldron's Not-So-Good, Very Questionable Day

"Am I really going to have to be the one to say it?!" David asked incredulously.

Rebecca simply glared at him, making a very slight growl in the back of her throat, "Grr…"

Keith chuckled awkwardly, "Come on, now, you've gotta admit this is strange even for the Path."

Together, the three of them made up the Triumvirate, the publicly accepted strongest heroes in the world. They were also heavily involved in the grand conspiracy to save the world — Cauldron. They, along with a few others, were instrumental to the fate of the world. And such thinking wasn't even entirely undeserved.

Their influence was enormous, even just in their Triumvirate identities. Behind the scenes, they pulled more strings than anyone could ever know. They occupied the top echelons of Cauldron — the world-spanning (quite literally with its abilities to traverse parallel Earths) conspiracy that it was. They had contacts everywhere, fingers in every pie. They controlled the only known way to create artificial parahumans — people empowered by the Shards of the Entities in one way or another —, quite literally selling powers in a bottle. Such 'powers in bottles' were, in fact, the origin of the Triumvirate's legendary powers.

In his civilian identity, David was an unassuming man. Not ugly, per se. Just painfully plain. His hair was thinning and his cheeks hung slightly heavy on his face. He looked like an office worker, the kind who only put in their nine-to-five to continue living a completely mundane life. Or more drastically, the kind of man who could be found in a rundown bar — not quite a dive but close —, drinking away his sorrows.

It was an appearance in sharp contrast to his identity as Eidolon, the world's strongest hero. With his cape and helmet on, he was powerful. Respected. The sort of hero kids wanted to be, the sort of hero EVERYONE wanted to be. While he rarely showed it, that contrast did eat at him. Imposter syndrome, in a way. Even covering his features for most of his life, he couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't 'good enough'. His strength defined him and unknown to him, the insecurity that lurked beneath was deeply tied to the current sorry state of Earth Bet.

Rebecca was just as deeply flawed as her Triumvirate partner and in a way that showed much more clearly. Her power defined her as well. But where Eidolon could choose ANY three powers and still yearned for more strength, Alexandria — Rebecca's heroic identity — was eternally stuck as she was on the eve of her empowerment.

Alexandria's power maintained her body in a single state of stasis. She was practically untouchable. Save for one instance of causality rewritten in an attack, Alexandria was completely indestructible. Her power sequestered her true body within its Shard, uncountable dimensions away, and projected a mirror of herself onto the world.

From one angle, she was always in her prime. Always in a state of perfect health and perfect mental acuity. She could affect the world around her but it couldn't affect her. As such, she was truly an immovable object… unless she wanted to move. Then, nothing could stop her.

From another angle though… she was as if frozen in time. Perpetually stuck as the 18-year-old version of herself that first drank that fateful Cauldron vial of powers. Her personal perspective could change but she quite literally couldn't grow. Not mentally or physically. She couldn't age. Her emotions were stuck in a state of forced perpetuity, only dimly simulated by an alien Shard. Intimacy was impossible for her. With her power and 'stuck' personality, it was no surprise that Alexandria was cold and distant, ruthless and pragmatic.

In comparison with his two peers, Keith — Legend of the Triumvirate — was positively normal. Well-adjusted. In his civilian life, he had a significant other — a man named Arthur who Keith dearly loved — and as Legend, he was a paragon of heroics, of what it SHOULD mean to be a hero. Noble, honest, self-sacrificing, reasonable, and willing to compromise — he was just… a genuinely good dude.

Of course, being such a genuinely good dude was not always what a grand conspiracy like Cauldron needed. As such, Legend was often kept out of the loop of his colleagues' darker dealings and harder decisions. The skeletons in their closet would have left him shocked, broken, and betrayed. But even if he wasn't always consulted or informed, he acted as Cauldron's moral compass in a way. His colleagues would often think 'What would Keith/Legend think?' during their darkest acts. The thought didn't stop them from doing what they deemed necessary but it did help keep them 'humble', in a way.

The Triumvirate weren't alone at the top of Cauldron. Doormaker and Clairvoyant were the lynchpins that made Cauldron's dimensional travel possible, even if they weren't involved in the conspiracy's decision-making. The Number Man — an ever-calculating man named Kurt with a power focused on sheer MATH — managed Cauldron's finances, almost single-handedly controlling a significant portion of the global economy, especially where parahumans were involved. Above even them were Contessa — the unbeatable asset so key to Cauldron's operations — and Doctor Mother — the unpowered leader and founder of the conspiracy.

Doctor Mother called the shots, kept her powered 'peers' in check, and generally brought a (somewhat) scientific methodology to Cauldron's operations. She took it upon herself to make the 'hard decisions', the necessity of which was… questionable… from an outside perspective. There was no denying she was brilliant, at least from a medical and experimental point of view, crafting the artificial process that granted powers. But nothing she did would have been possible without Contessa's ever-loyal support, single-handedly keeping Doctor Mother 'in control' of Cauldron's vast and potent resources.

If Fate hadn't 'chosen' Doctor Mother, there was a good chance she would have gone on to lose her license to practice medicine. Either through medical malpractice or corruption. She could be described as emotionally detached and holier-than-thou. Not in a demeaning or aggressive way. But unfortunately arrogant nonetheless. Her way was right. It was the ONLY way. Only she and Cauldron could do what they did, 'for the good of all'. Her way of thinking was only reinforced by an asset like Contessa backing up her every decision (and subtly directing her stubborn mind as necessary).

Of the aforementioned eight Cauldron members, six were currently present. Only Doormaker and Clairvoyant were absent, but then, they always were. Their powers were potent and essential to Cauldron's operations — allowing instant teleportation via portals to and from ANYWHERE — but also left them almost comatose at all times. Aside from that pair, six of the most powerful people across all local Earths were gathered in Cauldron's secretive, cross-dimensional compound at Contessa's beck and call, seemingly at her 'whimsy'.

"Strange?! We might as well call in Myrrdin!" David threw his hands up in frustration. "Honestly, MAGIC?!"

Rebecca glared at him reproachfully, "We follow the Path. No matter how… stupid… it sounds in the moment."

"Maybe we should actually call Myrrdin," Keith joked. "We might need his 'expertise'."

Rebecca almost scowled. Then she stopped and considered Keith's joke as a serious suggestion. Myrrdin was a cape who made 'magic' his whole persona. Rebecca scoffed internally. Magic, as if the alien Entity-sourced powers they already had weren't enough. He would be insufferable if the Triumvirate called upon him for help with 'magic'. Still…

She turned to Contessa with a question, "What does the Path say?"

Cauldron's unbeatable precog didn't even look up from where she was drawing strange symbols on the floor, "Reply hazy, ask again later."

"What's that supposed to mean? Are we straying from the Path?" Doctor Mother asked, furrowing her brow slightly.

"Better not tell you now," Contessa answered noncommittally.

"Fortuna," Doctor Mother fixed her with a stern look.

Contessa/Fortuna's second answer was more concrete but still… odd for her, "My sources say no."

Keith was the first to get the joke, laughing as he realized what she was doing, "Haha! Oh, that's a good one!"

Rebecca's enhanced mind wasn't far behind as she gritted her teeth in frustration, "You are the Path to Victory, not a magic 8-ball."

"All signs point to yes," Fortuna replied, unbothered by Rebecca's hostility as she finished her preparations and stood. She clapped her hands clean of chalk nonchalantly as if she wasn't being glared at by the human embodiment of a flying anvil…

"Cute," Kurt — the Number Man — said sarcastically. "Is any of this even necessary?"

"It is decidedly so," Fortuna nodded.

Keith clutched his sides in laughter as she kept up the bit and pissed off nearly everyone else in the room in the process, "Ahahahah! O-Okay, 'Tessa, you might want to drop it before they start trying to hit you."

Fortuna shrugged, "Right, it is necessary, though I can't see why right now. It's likely part of a chain of steps to manipulate our own psychology. All I know is that we should trust the Path, no matter how ridiculous the 'magic ritual' may seem."

Her honest answer managed to surprise Keith slightly, especially with how David, Rebecca, and Doctor Mother accepted it out of hand, "Do you… ever think we trust the Path a bit too much?"

"All the time," Kurt deadpanned.

"Don't be stupid!" Rebecca spat. "The Path is humanity's greatest hope."

Doctor Mother nodded, "To abandon it would be to doom all Earths."

Keith shot them both flat looks, "Contessa quite literally just admitted to manipulating our psychology."

"As if that's much of a sacrifice," David scoffed.

"Oh, so now you're on board with the 'magic'?" Keith turned on his friend and colleague with a raised eyebrow.

David grumbled begrudging agreement, "If this is what the Path needs…"

Keith sighed, "Whatever, I just think it's something to keep in mind. The ritual, Contessa?"

"Outlook good," Fortuna shot him a sly wink before getting serious. "Anyway, places. Kurt and Keith, you two are there. Rebecca and Mother are across from them. David gets to stand in the corner."

"Do I need a dunce cap too?" David snarked caustically.

An amused smirk pulled at Fortuna's lips, "Answer unclear, ask again later."

"Alright, you've had your fun, Fortuna," Doctor Mother said before David could outright growl at the precog's teasing. "Let's get this… 'ritual' underway. I can't put off my duties for much longer, I fear."

Fortuna nodded. Outwardly, she was always in control. Internally, she was almost as confused as her fellows by the strange turn the Path had taken here. This step seemed rather… useless on the surface. The best she could figure, the Path wanted to demonstrate that 'magic' was not real. None of them thought it was but there was always a chance. And if there was a chance, no matter how slight, Path to Victory would make it a reality.

But even beyond this step, the Path was acting strangely at the moment. It was almost indecisive with the steps surrounding this 'ritual'. Fortuna had never felt her power like this. As if it was acting on a hunch instead of concrete [Data]. Still, Fortuna got a feeling of [Reassurance] every time she checked on and questioned her power. The Path may have been indecisive but it was still 'confident enough' that this was the right course of action.

Ignoring how strange it was to get a response of [Pretty sure… Idk, feeling lucky] from her unbeatable power, Fortuna dutifully followed the relevant steps. The Path had her prepare a few unique ingredients to enact the 'ritual'. It seemed to be going to great lengths for this 'magic'.

A string of herbs was taken from Fortuna's pockets and set to burn in the center of the 'ritual'. She dipped her hand in a bowl of oil, not questioning her Path as she let the oil drip from her fingers onto the burning herbs. With each drop of oil, the flames flickered and snapped, filling the room with delicious, earthy scents. The others watched her queerly. They'd seen Fortuna do many an indecipherable thing in pursuit of the Path but this was strange even for her.

Finally, Fortuna took out a single feather from the tail of a raven, wafting it through the smoke as she spoke, "Gusts of ice and snow, carry my words. We call upon… the Raven of the Fae…"

"Fuck, I suddenly have the worst premonition," Keith mumbled to himself.

"Understandable," Kurt nodded. "Even if they're just stories, calling upon the Fae rarely if ever ends well."

For a painfully long, awkward moment, nothing happened. The smoke from the herbs and oil curled in the air, trailing as Fortuna waved the feather through it. Then, something impossible and unexplainable began. The air grew heavy and cold. The sterile lights in the room flickered without cause.

The herb smoke seemed to take on a mind of its own, suddenly dropping to the floor and coalescing in an impossibly solid cloud. More and more smoke spawned from nothingness, forming up into the shape of a man, a Fae being from Beyond any reasonable ken. By ludicrous luck and sheer synchronicity, Edgar dé Brân, Raven Prince of the Winter Court, answered Fortuna's call…

The Cauldron members straight-out gaped at the impossible occurrence in front of them. The normally unflappable Doctor Mother opened and closed her mouth in utter shock, barely able to process the fact that the MAGIC WORKED! Keith's terrible premonition was coming true, dread blooming in his gut. Kurt stared with wide eyes, rattling off calculations as his brain AND power tried to cope with the impossibility of the Fae.

"7,847,555… 69,420…? TURQUOIUS?! 42! Oh, God, 42!"

Fortuna… paused. Her mind shut down and began the process of rebooting. Her power matched Doctor Mother's utter shock, gaping at the working ritual without a mouth. Even as it 'short-circuited', it was also almost jumping for joy at [Data] it couldn't understand! Impossible, out-of-context [Data] goodness! The unbeatable Path to Victory had to admit defeat in the face of the Fae. It didn't know something! And ignorance had never been so sweet~!

David and Rebecca were the first to 'regain their wits'. They both quickly sprung into action. This was an unknown intruder in the heart of Cauldron's base, after all. 'Magic' or not (which was still in question. It could have been some potent, unidentified parahuman power, they unconvincingly reassured themselves) that couldn't be allowed to pass.

David took on a short-range teleportation power from his vast toolbox of powers to choose from. His other two power slots were quickly occupied with something to spatially restrain the intruder and, quite luckily, a second power of temporary temporal permanence as insurance against the first. He stepped in front of the intruder with a near-instantaneous teleport, looking to lock them in place before they could finish manifesting.

Rebecca took a more… direct course of action. Immovable flying anvil that she was, she did what her powers did best. Hit something really fucking hard and really fucking fast. She darted toward the smoky intruder in a visual blur.

Then, coincidence struck as David just so happened to teleport right into Rebecca's path. For the briefest of moments, they occupied the same spot in space. Then their powers kicked in. Rebecca's permanent spatially locked temporal stasis clashed with David's luckily chosen temporary temporal permanence. The powers canceled each other out in a way and both of them were left relatively unharmed. That didn't stop the universe from violently ejecting them from their shared spot in space though…

And through the remarkably synchronous events, Edgar — the 'intruder' — was allowed to fully manifest himself in reality and go completely unmolested by the more over-eager Cauldron members. There was, however, quite a jarring crash upon his entrance to reality as Rebecca and David were sent flying in opposite directions, straight through several reinforced walls.

Resolving his physical form, Edgar cocked his head curiously, "Fireworks? Well, I suppose that's certainly one way to greet me."

[100P banked via time elapsed.]

[Feat: Welcome to Worm! The destination is unintended but isn't it the journey that matters? Enjoy your ultra-grimdark superhero deconstruction-… Is that fucking Cauldron?! Sure, why not?! Fuck it… just take 200P…]

"Oho~ You're fun, other half~…" Edgar chuckled to 'himself'. "I got a brief overview but I assume they're some big deal here?"

[Something like that…]

"Well, well~ lucky me~," Edgar purred, a worrying grin twitching on his lips.

He didn't care one bit that he was 'talking to himself' in front of an audience. As for Cauldron (the ones still present, at least), they just stared at the Fae, practically unable to process his appearance. The magic… worked…? They'd actually summoned a Fae from who-knows-where. Kurt tried and utterly failed to make sense of the numbers surrounding Cauldron's 'intruder'. Keith and Doctor Mother simply stared in shock and growing dread. Fortuna's mind finished its reboot… and her mouth immediately dropped open to catch flies as she tried to Path the situation with her power and it returned [Manic giggling: IDK~!].

For a moment, Fortuna experienced complete and utter horror. It wasn't right. None of it was. Her power didn't fail. The Path to Victory was unbeatable. She was as much a part of it as it was of her. Her horror faded and only a foreign feeling of giddiness remained. For the first time in 25 years, she… didn't know what to do. Yet the horror that should have accompanied that thought never returned. If anything, Fortuna and her Path were almost… thrilled by the unknown and the possibilities it represented.

She'd been right in a way. If there was even the slightest chance magic was real, the Path would make it happen. It did. But dreadfully, as far as Fortuna could tell, it hadn't been on purpose. Simple synchronous luck led to them stumbling upon the exact right thing to do at the exact right moment. And for their luck, Fortuna and her Path had gotten an honest-to-goodness Fae, a boogeyman straight out of her childhood bedtime stories that even the Entities couldn't comprehend.

The Fae was tall. Taller than anyone present. Even Kurt's lanky 6'3" frame was eclipsed by him by a few inches. And even then the Fae seemed to dwarf the skinny number-cruncher. Because the Fae wasn't just tall. He was powerfully built, the kind of physique that jealous men would kill for.

He looked human… but not. Human-shaped but very clearly something else. An outsider to humanity itself, looking back in on the mortal species with interest for his amusement. His appearance went straight past the Uncanny Valley — avoiding the instinctual discomfort that 'not-quite-right' features inspired in humans — and straight into something attractively and noticeably inhuman.

His skin was deathly pale and perfect. Too perfect. To the point that it looked more like scales of pure porcelain rather than mortal flesh. In contrast, his artfully messy hair and the raven feathers of his cloak — as much a part of him as his hair or skin — were shockingly dark. Almost blacker than black. Long, tapered ears extended from either side of his head, twitching with emotion. His facial features were noble. Princely, even, with the darkly shadowed eyes that quite literally sparkled with interest at everything they saw.

Quieter than a whisper, Fortuna's mouth moved against her will as she tried to come to terms with everything, "Goth… Fae… Daddy…?"

Edgar's inhuman ears twitched, the only one able to hear the sound she made. Even Fortuna didn't hear it. She didn't even realize she'd said anything. So, of course, she couldn't figure out why he suddenly shot her a teasing smirk. Or why that Fae expression on that inhumanly handsome face managed to send thrills down her spine and her pulse into an unannounced overdrive…

Other than the smirk he sent at the amusingly inexperienced woman in the fashionable hat, Edgar essentially ignored his audience. As fascinating as the humans were — his first real experience with his 'father's' kin — he wished to get the lay of the land first. He was, after all, far from incompetent or complacent after a long youth spent on the battlefields of the Winter Court.

Though he seemed utterly relaxed on the outside, he quickly assessed the new environment he found himself in. Everything from the jarring lack of magic in the air to the twists of space throughout the greater compound despite that first fact. It was a… strange reality, so different from anything he knew in the Winter Court or wider Faewilds. The rules of reality were both more rigid than he was used to and less in the oddest places. Did the mortal realm truly have no ever-changing, ever-present Winds of EMOTION to direct not just the weather but Malleable Fate itself…?

"How very odd…" Edgar pondered aloud. "Efficient too. Without the Winds, I could even visit my cousins in the Summer Court. Except… neither Court exists here…? Oho~? It's free real estate~…"

Unfortunately for Edgar, only his System understood the reference. And it wasn't the most easily entertained audience. At least, not by anything unrelated to gambling, 5-star pulls, and the Gacha. Only the Grimoire was able to give off the vaguest sense of amusement, like whispers of laughter from a distant room.

[… 400P banked in total. Would you like to roll the Gacha?]

Edgar sighed dramatically, "Since my genius seems destined to go unappreciated by you, I suppose we can have fun your way…"

[Each roll 'costs' 100P. The points are not spent unless/until the rolled perk/perks are purchased. You have four rolls currently available. Roll the Gacha? Y/N]

"You know, I've never been a Fae for gambling but this does seem like fun~," Edgar chuckled and nodded. "Yes."

[Rolling…!]

"Who is he talking to?!" Doctor Mother demanded as if the world itself held the answer to her confusion, frustration, and mounting fear.

"Hell if I know. His Agent?" Keith guessed.

Fortuna shook her head, "He's not connected to the Entities. At all."

"T-That's impossible," Doctor Mother tried to deny the idea, her voice shaky.

"Apparently not as much as we've been led to believe," Kurt pointed out pragmatically.

"I have a terrible feeling that we're going to very much regret summoning a Fae," Keith sighed.

"I don't…" Fortuna muttered, going unheard by her peers.

*Ding!* [Lifesteal - Modus (Legends of Runterra, 200P)]

*Ding!* ["Church Guardian Shiv" - Illusion (Dark Souls 3, 50P)]

*Ding!* [Demonology - Lore (The Owl House, 400P)]

*Ding!* [Bottle of Enchanting - Source (Generic Minecraft, 200P)]

Four spinning wheels of Gacha gambling goodness appeared in Edgar's vision, projected just for him by the System. Lit up by pomp and pageantry, they came to a stop one by one. With each pull, a dopamine-inducing ding ran out through the Gacha System. And with each solidified moment of chance in a perk, the descriptions filtered into Edgar's mind.

"Simple but practical," Edgar nodded at the first pull. "Nothing I couldn't recreate on my own but more options are always good."

"That one is… underwhelming. But I suppose they can't always be winners," Edgar shrugged off the second pull.

At the third pull, Edgar's expression darkened with an icy scowl. A blizzard seemed to howl around him, magic reacting in accordance with his emotions. His hatred of all things 'demon'. The Cauldron members watching him with confusion and mixed feelings were forced to take a step back. For a moment, it felt like the whole world was set to freeze over, shards of ice glinting in the air with Edgar's Fae mood swing.

"Get that damned perk out of my sight," Edgar spat. "I know more than enough about those wretched Infernals. More knowledge is a false offering. Especially here. Thankfully, I haven't felt a single hint of Hell's taint since our arrival…"

"Should… Should we be concerned…?" Keith asked nobody.

"Extremely," Kurt nodded quickly. "But not about demons, it seems. That… is a silver lining…"

"This-… No, demons aren't real!" Doctor Mother shook her head in fierce denial, determined to stick her head in the proverbial sand. "Neither are the Fae and magic, for that matter! This is ridiculous! There has to be a reasonable explanation for this! One we simply don't understand yet!"

Fortuna patted the older woman — the closest thing she had to a motherly figure in her life — on the shoulder in commiseration, "There isn't. Not when it comes to the Fae. There never is, if the stories I remember hold even a crumb of truth…"

"Hrrk-…!" So unlike herself and her usual composure, Doctor Mother made a pathetic, strangled noise in the back of her throat.

Edgar managed to get his visceral fury at everything Infernal under control after the System dismissed the rolled perk from his sight. Still, he scowled slightly. Those bastards gave the Fae a bad name. Mortals were constantly mixing up the two and while Edgar could admit to some similarities, they were really quite different.

Still, he shook off his lingering hatred and turned his attention to the last pull, "Hmm~? I can see how that would be useful. It does sound fascinating and nothing like I've ever heard of before. Yes, that one. I'll save the other 200 points for the future."

[Perk purchased! 200P total remains in the bank.]

[Bottle of Enchantment - Source (Generic Minecraft, 200P): This strange bottle seems to be full of a green-yellow fluid-gas. This bottle is actually full of XP orbs which are used for enchanting and for powering certain enchantments on objects. This bottle can be used to convert various mystical energies into XP Orbs and vice versa without any loss of energy and can store an infinite amount of the Orbs.]

There wasn't a flashy flash of light or specifically noisy noise. One moment, Edgar's hand was empty. The next, he was holding a bottle of pure 'XP orbs'. He swirled the curiosity in a bottle as he examined it, getting a feel for the magic within. The 'XP orbs' were similar to motes of magic — a set amount of untapped potential within each one.

Nodding to himself, content with his understanding of the magic 'XP orbs', Edgar uncorked the bottle and tilted it back to have a little taste. Pure potential burst across his tongue. Magic was almost instantly converted to fill his Fae reserves. And his yet-unacknowledged audience choked on thin air.

"Aahhh~… That's quite refreshing actually," Edgar mused, satisfied with his purchase. "It'll make an apt substitute for Fae Food in a pinch. For some reason, I doubt I'll find much of that here."

[… You aren't supposed to drink it.]

"But I did," Edgar smugly shot back at his System.

"That wasn't one of ours, was it…?" Keith asked hesitantly.

"No, thankfully," Fortuna shook her head. "But it would be intensely helpful for completing some steps of the Path. I can't stress that enough."

"Truly?" Doctor Mother jumped on the chance to return to something she was familiar with: the Path.

"Tentative predictions suggest it would cut the Path down by anywhere from 3 to 115 steps… Or increase it by the same degree. My power is… unsure…" Fortuna sheepishly admitted, not meeting anyone's eyes.

The rest of Cauldron turned to stare at her. In some ways, that was more unbelievable and more horrifying than the Fae and magic.

Kurt took off his glasses and wiped them down for something to do with his hands, "I don't suppose your power is acting up around the Fae as well?"

"He is… difficult to predict," Fortuna confirmed, saying more under her breath where the others couldn't hear. "More like impossible and fucking fascinating…"

That information shook Doctor Mother's whole worldview but she shakily recovered, "W-We must secure his support. At the very least, his indifference. His aid could be paramount if the Entities cannot factor him into their Cycle. At the same time…"

Kurt picked up where she trailed off, "Having him as an outright enemy would be beyond devastating."

"I thought that much was implied when we, you know, successfully summoned a Fae," Keith deadpanned.

"Not helpful," Doctor Mother glared at him, slowly 'regaining control' of the situation (or at least, fooling herself into thinking so). "Go check on David and Rebecca. And please make sure they don't attack our… guest again."

Grinning mischievously, Edgar inserted himself into the conversation, appearing as if he'd teleported over Doctor Mother's shoulder, "Ah, yes, I do believe we've ignored our noble hosts for long enough~."

"Shit!" Kurt jumped, startled even as he quickly regained control of himself. "Who are you talking to anyway? If you don't mind me asking, of course…"

Doctor Mother wasn't so lucky to regain control of herself, freezing as a dark Fae giant loomed over her, "Hnnnnnnnnngggg…!"

"Just a new friend. Nothing you accommodating folks should concern yourself with," Edgar dismissed, his grin turning charming as he introduced himself. "You may call me Edgar. Raven Prince, if you are feeling ostentatious and officious~. You called upon me at quite the opportune moment. Lucky, lucky you~…"

The way he purred his last line sent shivers down Cauldron's spines. They were both blessed and cursed to have the Fae's attention. Edgar's eyes flicked over them one by one, darkly sparkling with interest. They couldn't help but feel his gaze as if a physical weight upon their beings.

"Uh… I'll just go get-…" Keith started to say, shifting uncomfortably on his feet.

At that moment, the 'unlucky' two Cauldron members — previously rendered indisposed by sheer chance — dashed his hopes of getting away even for a moment. Rebecca had been watching from the periphery, trying to assess the unknown threat and ready to come to her colleagues' aid at any moment should it prove necessary. Cautiously, she floated her way back into the conversation, a disciplined mask of apathy hiding her concerns and undignified frustration at not being in control of the situation.

"That won't be necessary," She said, her intense stare never leaving Edgar for a moment.

She hovered half a foot off the ground to put herself on his level as she rejoined the group, going for stoic intimidation and the impression of an equal. Anyone else would have been forced to pay her the proper respects, if not for her reputation then at least out of consideration for her abilities. Edgar barely even smirked. It was an utterly vexing sight for the ever-in-control Alexandria.

"H-Heh, well, there's still David-…" Chuckling awkwardly, Keith tried again for a much-needed, if temporary, escape from the situation.

"Ugh, did anyone get the number of the Endbringer who hit me?" David floated back into the room through the hole his exit had made, not trusting his legs to carry him.

Keith closed his eyes and sighed in defeat, "God dammit…"

Edgar laughed, "No 'Endbringer', Friend, though I know not what that is. You simply tried to occupy the same point in space as the lovely stoic maiden here. I don't know what possessed the two of you but I would suggest not doing so again."

"We did…? Now, why would we go and do that?" David asked, still dazed and remarkably unfazed by the intruder in Cauldron's midst.

"David!" Rebecca hissed, shocked at how trusting he was of the — admittedly — charming Fae.

"The answer escapes me as well, Friend," Edgar kept up his amiable 'act', amused by interacting with someone other than his mother for the first time in years. "I'm simply glad neither of you was too damaged by the unfortunate incident!"

"No, no, I'll be fine," David waved him off. "Thanks for the concern though. You're a good dude… Whoever… you are…?"

With that, David realized who — WHAT — he was talking to and remembered the impossible events of the ritual. He went stiff, quickly applying a power to clear his mind. Another power glowed yellow around his hands, its effects unknown to all but him. Still, it got the message across. He'd remembered Cauldron's potentially precarious situation and stood ready to react accordingly.

Thankfully, Keith stopped him before he could make a mistake, flashing in front of him with a quick burst of life, "David, no. Whatever you do, DON'T."

"Indeed," Doctor Mother nodded, giving a stern order. "The-… Edgar… has been designated as a potential prime asset."

"We're recruiting him?!" David asked incredulously.

"Well, he has been nothing but polite about this whole 'summoning' thing," Kurt pointed out.

Edgar smirked, the expression just slightly inhuman, "Of course~. What's a Fae without their manners~?"

"The Path is clear," Fortuna said. "… Kind of…"

"Kind of?!" With that admission, David gaped at her even more openly than he gaped at Edgar.

Instead of elaborating, Fortuna thought a demonstration was in order, "Door me, Vial Storage."

"Oh, how fun~," Edgar grinned as a portal appeared next to Fortuna.

Everyone watched as she reached through the portal. She was aiming for a specific category of vials, ones composed purely of Cauldron's Balance Formula. The Path reasoned — and Fortuna agreed — that it was the most suitable for impromptu 'experimentation'. The most suited for demonstrating what Edgar's counterpart 'power-in-a-bottle' could do for Cauldron.

But as she reached through the portal, an unlikely series of events — ones even the Path couldn't predict — occurred. It began with a brief chuffing chuckle from Edgar. Air knocked against air in a way that would have been impossible to recreate. The pressure in Cauldron's Vial Storage dropped for a blink, sucked away by the unnatural chill Edgar's laughter carried.

By pure coincidence, the change caused the cork to pop from the vial Fortuna was reaching for. By another stroke of chance, unsecured fresh samples that had been collected from Eden's 'corpse' that morning were stirred up into the air, 'reacting' to an effect of an effect caused by Edgar's presence. Tiny seemingly insignificant particles of crystalized Entity drifted through the laboratory like snowflakes. Impossibly, all of them came to land in the now-open vial of Balance Formula, uniquely contaminating it in a way Cauldron had never seen.

Curiously, Edgar watched his synchronous luck with senses unconnected to his eyes. The perk responsible seemed to walk him through every step of the process, even steps his Fae senses wouldn't have noticed before it. While he knew he could direct the flow of luck, he didn't, simply observing as events played out ever in his favor. Fortuna pulled her chosen (and contaminated) vial back through the portal and paused to stare at it for a moment.

"It's, uh… open…" David stated the obvious.

Doctor Mother furrowed her brow, "Potentially contaminated. It shouldn't be that color. This doesn't feel right."

"Choose another," Rebecca demanded.

Fortuna didn't hesitate for a second time, "No. Edgar, may I borrow your vial for a demonstration?"

"By all means," Edgar agreed easily. "I'm ~very~ interested in how all of this will turn out for you~."

The others watched warily, unable to stop Fortuna as she trusted her Path. More like acted on a hunch. The Path didn't know how to react to [Data] outside its purview. The unnaturally synchronous series of events was being entered into its calculations even as it tried to figure out what the HELL had happened. Still, Fortuna pressed forward. And immediately — this time on purpose — entered an unknown variable into the Path, acting only off her and her power's hunch that this was all 'supposed to' happen.

She took Edgar's Bottle of Enchantment and moved to combine it with the Cauldron vial. Only a few drops. But they were enough. They fell from the bottle's lip as balls of shimmering green light. Swirling gently, the Cauldron vial began to pulse, taking on the light and a profound energy that the Entities had never encountered. Pure magic — meant solely to enhance and empower — CHANGED the formula within the vial.

By his 'father's' influence, Edgar favored humanity. But only partially. It was a Fae, fickle favor. From the 'crash course' he'd gotten upon entering this realm, he was also rather curious about the Entities. And since he chose to not consciously direct his luck, it… spread the favor around, so to speak.

In the vial, the 'XP' orbs of magic came together. A single shining speck of… something. Something akin to an egg. The light pulsed, taking on an undeniable rhythm. Bump. Bu-bump. A heartbeat. The scant beginnings of life and thought. Then, after a few 'beats', the light split, dividing into two identical cells of magic and alien crystal. A few more beats, four. And again. And again…

Ever so tiny, a piece of Eden came back to life. Not Eden as she once was. Not even close. This wasn't the incomprehensibly vast and ancient network of Entity Shards. This was a fraction of a fraction of a fraction, born from Eden's crystal 'DNA'. The most 'mortal' portions of her DNA, at that.

The Balance Formula may have been artificially created but it was all of the original Eden's moderation in a vial. It was the part of the Entity that integrated the influences and [Data] from thousands of sentient species into a working whole. It was Reason, Compromise, Balance… And blessedly — 'luckily' —, it was entirely disconnected from the Entities' network.

Fortuna stared at the vial in her hand, utter uncomprehending shock clear as day on her face, "Oh… Oh, fuck… We're going to have to drastically revisit the Path to Victory…"

"What?!" David reacted with appropriate shock and demanded clarification. "What happened?!"

Fortuna barely managed to speak aloud, mumbling, "I believe… Cauldron is now pregnant… And I also believe I need to sit down."

[WTF! WHAT DO I EVEN CALL THAT?! Feat: Knock up Cauldron? Impregnate Eden? Breed Contessa?!]

Edgar gave an honest chuckle, never more amused and engaged than he'd ever been, "I'm rather fond of 'Breed Contessa'. The hat is very fetching."

He then had to quickly step in and catch his 'child in a vial' and its 'mother' as Fortuna's mind (and power) temporarily gave out under the weight of… everything.

[… Fuck, if that doesn't deserve 300P, nothing does.]