Back home, door closed. Panthonia stood not far from the entrance. Hilsbeth stood beside the table in the middle of the living room, one hand on the tabletop, head turned to look at him. Sunlight streamed in through the window beside him, grazing his neck and shoulders, illuminating her profile through their height difference. On the way back, Hilsbeth had stayed close to him, but now, back in the house, she didn't feel the impulse to embrace him—perhaps a growing unease had quelled it. The house was quiet, as if once the door was closed, it no longer belonged to the outside world.
"I killed Salvaney," he said.
"I heard," she nodded, lips pursed. "I was worried about you."
He walked up to her and kissed her. Though it was on the lips, it didn't feel like a lover's kiss, but a silent gesture. She returned the kiss slightly, then wrapped her arms around his neck. After a moment, Hilsbeth placed her clenched left fist on Panthonia's shoulder, pressing her forefinger against her upper lip. Panthonia's right hand rested on her lower back, his left just hanging. About a minute later, they separated.
"So," she said, "what do you plan to do next?"
"I want to know what those two said to you."
"They said they wanted to know more about you, so they wanted to talk to me. I didn't say anything. Are they suspicious?"
"No. Both of them work for the council."
They fell silent for a moment. Panthonia understood that more people than just those two would try to talk to Hilsbeth. Under the current circumstances, he no longer needed to ask her about Denison. That was the only slight advantage.
"Hilsbeth," he said, "we need to be apart for a while."
"...Why?"
"Because more people will come to you, asking all sorts of questions."
"I won't say anything."
"That won't stop them."
"What do you mean by being apart? And how will that stop them?"
"I'll arrange another place for you to stay. Also, you must quit your job at the church."
She looked at him, her eyes full of confusion, a confusion directed not just at him but also at herself, like a dissonant note in a musical score breaking the harmony. She couldn't grasp the logic of his request. She had always agreed that their relationship should stay private for now, so she had no objections to Panthonia trying to hide her. But his current request was different. Moreover, people had already found her, and they worked for the council. What other measures could be effective in this situation? There had to be reasons she hadn't considered. She tried to guess these reasons in the brief silence but couldn't clear her thoughts. Because he said "be apart." She had waited for him all these days, only to hear those words.
"No, I don't understand. You can't just come back and..."
"I've made myself clear. I don't fully understand what those people want, so I can't tell you. What you need to know now is the best way to handle this."
"No, it's not enough. Everything you're saying is unclear. What do you mean by being apart? Don't you want to be with me?"
"This has nothing to do with us. I just need you to lay low. Don't be unreasonable, Hilsbeth."
"Unreasonable? You're the one being unreasonable. If this has nothing to do with us, then what does it have to do with?"
"Shut up. You don't understand anything."
Panthonia didn't raise his voice, but every word had an innate sharpness, rough and piercing like stray gravel on a skirt. He realized this and looked into her eyes. The sunlight turned her eyelashes white. Strangely, after the initial sinking feeling in her heart, Hilsbeth didn't feel particularly sad. On the contrary, those words seemed to unblock her inner frustrations, making her mind suddenly clear, allowing her to think more effectively than before. She didn't believe she understood nothing.
"Is it because of... Aretta?" she asked. "You don't want anyone to know you're connected to her. She was once part of the Salvaney family."
He didn't answer immediately but clearly agreed. For a long time, Hilsbeth had deeply buried the name and memory of her late friend to strengthen her confidence in the future. Now, she dug this name out from the ground again, and some rotten things came to the surface along with the dirt. To Hilsbeth, Panthonia seemed slightly unfamiliar compared to a second ago. This was just a temporary illusion, she thought. The past is past. Now that they had to face this issue again, it was not their fault.
"It would be better if you could explain it clearly," she continued. "That way, I can understand. No matter how those people ask, I won't say a word, but since they're from the council, they'll probably find out somehow."
"It's not just this one thing."
"What else is there?"
"The council people found you, but they haven't yet confirmed your background. You once appeared at that banquet as Phipin's distant cousin. In the current situation, if I live with 'Koen's relative', it's very inappropriate."
"Why do we need to worry about that person?"
"Because with this achievement, he will arrange some new work plans for me. These things need the council's approval, so the council is not only watching me but also watching him. They will try every means to find out the connection between me and Koen. They want to explain your presence, Hilsbeth. They want to know what role you played in all this."
"I didn't do anything. Attending that banquet wasn't voluntary." Hilsbeth touched her forehead with her right hand and then said, "But... I understand what you mean. In short, I'll cause you trouble. That's what you're trying to say, right?"
"You also know these matters are complex and not something you can help with."
"Then what's the use of being apart...? If you hide me, wouldn't that make it more suspicious?"
"Suspicion is already inevitable. Now it's about limiting the extent of the damage. Only a small number of people know you, and they won't openly ask me or Koen about your whereabouts because so far, you haven't become extremely suspicious to them. Hiding for a while is also beneficial for you, Hilsbeth. Before knowing me, Aretta was first close to you. We can't let them trace you through Aretta's case. If that happens, it will be hard for you to clear yourself from the Salvaney connection."
Panthonia didn't fully explain the so-called benefits. He had to keep Hilsbeth away from the spotlight, at least until the council agreed to establish an independent intelligence agency.
"So... if someone else comes looking, what should I say? Who exactly am I?"
"You're still Phipin's cousin. Beyond that, don't reveal anything. Under no circumstances can they know you're from the Queen's District. Koen will publicly remind them not to disturb your life. Given his status, they will gradually believe or have to accept the story of your background. This matter won't last long."
"Where do you plan to send me?"
"You'll know when you get there. Don't worry about living arrangements; the landlord will take care of you. That's all that needs explaining, Hilsbeth. Go to the bedroom, grab some clothes, and come with me now. If you need anything else, I'll have it sent to you."
Hilbes's expression had calmed significantly, but Panthonia didn't feel it was time to be completely at ease. He hoped she wouldn't say another word or ask any questions from now on. This didn't happen.
"I thought with that bastard dead and you back, we could celebrate."
"We still can, just not now." To make himself more convincing, Panthonia stroked her hair. "Now, do as I say. Don't waste any more time."
"Then... you will bring me back later, right?"
"Yes."
A simple response, not a promise. A single word devoid of any emotional inclination. A clear affirmation without setting a deadline for its fulfillment.
"Wait for me."
"Hurry up."
Hilsbeth walked into the bedroom and closed the door.
Undoubtedly, what he said made sense, at least leaving her no grounds for rebuttal. These reasons indeed had an effect: compared to when she first heard about the separation, Hilbes's mood had calmed down significantly—not peaceful. It wasn't like a lake calmly facing the moonlight after the night wind stopped, but rather a large rock suddenly falling, pressing smaller pebbles deep into the soil.
Hilsbeth opened the wardrobe, slowly reaching in to feel the fabric of the nearest dress. Right, she needed to choose...
She reached a conclusion. All the words he had spoken led to this one conclusion.
Whether it was about Aretta or her relationship with Phipin, the core issue lay with herself—at least for Panthonia, it was so. After a while, Hilsbeth realized that the dress she was unconsciously touching was the one she wore the first time they went to the opera. This was just a coincidence; there was no element of memory in her actions initially, but now a bit of pain gradually seeped into her fingers. Regardless of the reasons or the length of time, she had agreed to the separation, and this was the final fact.
She recalled the night she unlocked the door to this house and agreed to live with him. She believed that this time he would be different, they would be different. Different in what way? The process? Or the result? She couldn't be sure. Right, the situation with him was different from with Aretta—that had been clear to Hilsbeth for a long time, and she had felt happy because of it. But now, she felt as if Aretta's ghost was standing behind her, clinging to her back, with invisible hands stroking her arms. Panthonia decided to leave her to avoid potential trouble caused by Aretta.
I am the same thing.
"Hilsbeth, are you ready?" His voice from outside the door.
"No," she said.