Long story, short. Felix still didn't have the guts to tell Psalm what he wanted to. He made sure not to tell Ada about it though, and kept it to himself, as he instead promised himself that he'd tell Psalm during the party.
They'd gone to a park where they sat all alone, far away from prying eyes and with the freedom to hold hands and exchange a few kisses.
Felix gave him the gift he'd picked out a while ago and sighed in relief when he got kisses in return. He knew Psalm could afford tons of fancy pens, notebooks and more, but he could see the genuineness in his boyfriend's face that he appreciated the gift. It was nice. He'd never given a gift to anyone but his siblings and Ada… And his mom.
They barely even had time to talk to each other because Psalm's phone kept blowing up and interrupting them. It was expected anyway.
Felix knew the party was either going to be bad or good depending on how Psalm's people were going to act around him. He knew his presence would be obvious or he'd be ignored, despite Psalm's comforting words as they drove back to where the graduation ceremony was held.
*****
"I didn't know we're supposed to change fits," Felix whispered as he stood next to Ada. He'd just seen a familiar face that took a photo with Psalm before with a totally different outfit from the graduation ceremony.
"Don't worry, you look good. We look good," Ada said, turning to her boyfriend and ordering him to get her a drink.
It was really dark out now as they walked inside. They were at the Gerard mansion and people in fancy fits entered with an undeniable presence, their money and influence palpable; they didn't even need to say anything. Felix wasn't necessarily poor-poor, but he'd also never been rich enough to see people like that. Ada probably had as she didn't seem too fazed and attended lots of parties, which Felix never attended despite invites.
Felix really didn't know how he was supposed to act and was thankful for his friend's grip on his arm. And regretful that he'd be third-wheeling because he certainly couldn't walk arm-in-arm with Psalm if they saw each other.
"I really feel like running away right now," Felix groaned. "Where even is Psalm?"
"You can't just–Oh! There he is."
He turned to the direction his friend pointed and his eyes met familiar ones. Psalm stood in a beautiful suit that accentuated his body and while he seemed to be speaking to some lady in a red dress, he offered him a smile.
It took him a few seconds to realize that Ada was no longer with him, but at least Psalm was walking towards him so he wasn't alone.
"Hey," Psalm said to him after excusing himself from the lady.
Psalm looked so hot, which wasn't an unusual occurrence, of course. Maybe it was just different because he looked rich. He looked so polished, skin shining, eyes bright and with a beautiful smile.
"Hey," Felix said back.
"You look really excited to be here," Psalm teased.
"Yeah… I'm so comfortable that I feel like running to everyone walking in and hugging them."
Psalm laughed. "Let's get you a drink at least."
He'd probably need a lot of those.
"Hiii, baby boy," a gorgeous lady with red hair said as she engulfed Psalm in a hug. "Happy graduation!"
Psalm laughed while Felix stood at the side, waiting and analyzing the beautiful woman.
"How are you?"
"I'm great," Psalm answered, letting her kiss his cheeks.
When she turned to look at Felix, he could almost swear that he saw disdain in her eyes. He'd never experienced such negativity from a stranger before. And to think she was the first person close to Psalm that she'd met today. Then how's everyone else going to be?
"Who are you?"
"Oh, Aisha, this is Felix. Aisha is a friend of mine, Felix," Psalm answered, an arm around her shoulder. "And Felix is…a new friend of mine."
Aisha took her time to analyze his dressing before giving him a simple nod. She definitely didn't like what she saw.
Felix couldn't even be mad at the word used to describe him. Knowing he could probably never come out was something he'd accepted a while ago. But it kind of hurt now, seeing the way the 'friend' was latching onto his arm.
"Aisha, I'm trying to show Felix around for now, so we'll talk later," Psalm said kindly after pushing her gently away from him.
He'd never been that gentle when rejecting girls throwing themselves at him before. And it was obvious that Aisha was throwing herself at him.
Aisha pouted. "Okay. I'll be waiting."
Then she sauntered towards the opposite direction, not forgetting to blow him a kiss.
"She likes you," Felix said, blunt.
"It doesn't matter," Psalm said. "I don't like her. I like you."
Felix nodded, the jealousy not leaving him anytime soon. "Where's the drinks?"
They were interrupted again as they walked to take a glass of champagne each.
"Ah ahn! Our little Psalm of yesterday is now a graduate of the university. A prestigious university sef!"
This time it was an older person. A man who had gray hairs around his head and face, looking old enough to be his father…or grandfather. But he had a big smile on his face, dressed in a fancy suit and as tall as Psalm. Felix, like before, moved away as he let them talk.
"Thank you, sir," Psalm said respectfully.
"So what are your plans for school ehn? Are you doing masters? Your music? Because even this your popularity sef…before you know it the whole world will be knowing you… Ah! I should've introduced you to my daughter earlier so I'll have your wonderful genes in my family…Or is it too late, already?" The man laughed, nudging him.
Felix sighed internally. It was like he was invisible. Again. And the words the man kept rattling off were making his worries and insecurities come to the forefront of his mind now. His mood was really being ruined.
"Sir, I have to talk to my friend. We can catch up later, okay?" Psalm finally said after the man wouldn't stop talking.
The man only gave Felix a glance before giving him a fatherly hug and moved away, telling him to be fast.
They walked up the stairs after taking a bottle of champagne and two glasses. Psalm mentioned how not everyone was around and so, they could take some time together. The party wasn't even his idea anyway, so his mother was free to take care of it.
They'd walked into an empty room, where some art works were placed and relaxed.
"When you go back down, you'll have a lot of people to talk to," Felix said, taking a sip of his drink.
Psalm shrugged. "Yeah. It's not always like this. But my parents have made me used to it."
"Well," Felix began. "People like me definitely wouldn't understand, so I won't stress myself out."
Psalm smiled. "You don't need to."
After downing two glasses of his drink, Psalm walked closer to him so they stood face-to-face. He traced his skin calmly with his fingers before reaching his lips and pulling him closer to join their lips.
"I love you," Psalm whispered after they broke off the kiss, a small smile on his face.
Felix moved away from his arms as he stood by the window nearby, thinking about a response to give. The night had barely even started and a whole lot of emotions were being thrown at him. Jealousy, worry… Love. Yeah, maybe it's a good time to say what's on his mind and get it over with.
"I don't…I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say it back just yet," Psalm said, sounding a bit nervous now. "We have time."
"I don't know if it'll matter anyway, you're leaving," Felix muttered quietly, but Psalm caught it.
"What do you mean by that?" Psalm asked, looking at him seriously.
Felix sighed, deciding to put his glass away. "I mean, I did hear you talking about your plans, career…it's evident that you're leaving."
"But–"
"So, I always wanted to say what's on my mind, but I guess now I've gotten the morale…"
The look on Psalm's face showed that he had an idea of what Felix was about to say. He probably knew he wouldn't like it.
"I think we should break up," he croaked.
The silence that overcame the room was palpable in the air.
"Why?"
"Didn't you hear me?" Felix asked, gaining more courage than he'd had in a while. "You're leaving. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who's going to eventually leave."
"What?" Psalm whispered, looking so heartbroken that Felix felt like crying, wanting to backtrack.
"Psalm–"
"But…I–I said I love you. What other…?" He looked frustrated and sad at the same time, grabbing his hands. "Is it because of that Aisha that was throwing herself at me? I've never given you a reason to worry… I–I…I don't know what…"
"I know that you'll forget me," Felix whispered, teary. "And I know that's a possibility because we're miles apart in everything. I know you'll probably be some world famous star and–"
"Don't say that," Psalm said. "I'll never forget you. Or leave you. I really like you, Felix. I love you."
Felix sniffled, heart rate increasing as he registered the words. It wasn't the first time he'd said it that night and he really wanted to brush it off because he'd downed more than two glasses of champagne. He didn't know whether to believe those words or ignore them.
"I'm serious, baby," Psalm said softly, walking closer to cup his face and stare right into his eyes. "I really love you."
"I don't know if love is enough to keep us together, Psalm. I mean, honestly, we're really young so there's a possibility that you'll meet people," Felix sighed. "I don't know if this'll work–"
"We'll make it work," Psalm insisted. " Somehow."
"I don't know," Felix whispered. He'd expected this to be hard, but hearing his boyfriend's pleading voice and seeing his sad figure was breaking him. "I don't know…"
Felix felt tears flow freely from his eyes to his cheeks, letting Psalm kiss him.
"Please don't break up with me," Psalm pleaded as he broke off the kiss. "Please."
Felix said nothing as he let Psalm wrap his arms around him. He let himself enjoy the familiar warmth, ignoring the music coming from the party downstairs and ignoring the vibration coming from Psalm's pocket.
He'd enjoy this for as long as it'll last.