Two weeks till graduation... Felix would be moving to his second year soon and his boyfriend would be leaving the school. That last part was a lot to deal with, but he couldn't complain. He's the one who said yes.
Felix sighed.
"What's bothering you now?"
He raised his head to meet Ada's concerned face. He'd come to spend some time with her at her place before she got too busy with the graduation activities. He didn't want to burden her with his thoughts, but it seemed he couldn't avoid it. She could always tell anyway.
"I'm guessing it's about Psalm, right?"
Felix nodded. No need to attempt to lie.
"What did he do? Should I go banging on his door right now?"
Felix chuckled. "He hasn't done anything wrong."
"Yet."
He rolled his eyes at her words. "It's about his graduation."
Ada stopped joking and proceeded to silently move to his side. She lived in a four storey building and her room was the last, which had a beautiful balcony and such a view. The environment was always beautiful to see at night, something Felix never really thought about.
He seemed to notice how silent Ada was and figured she was waiting for him to talk more before giving her opinion.
"I'm just thinking about the future," he continued, looking down. "Everything's been good and we haven't really had problems...him leaving is going to bring them. That's kind of terrifying for me."
He heard his friend take in a deep breath as she responded. "Your fears are valid. I know I said to enjoy yourself and all, but it seems we didn't think too deeply about how you'd handle the inevitable."
He nodded. He'd forced himself to ignore what was going to happen and had his laughs and all, with Psalm. Psalm, himself, never mentioned anything concerning him graduating and leaving. And about them. Maybe he was just avoiding it, like he was.
"I think you should sit him down and talk about this though. You're probably more worried about this than he is. His head is probably everywhere because of his graduation, family and friends," Ada said. "Because I really don't think, with how passionate he is with his craft, that he'd stay..."
That kind of hurt, but she was right. Felix really wanted to regret dating Psalm at the moment. Making him date him just to eventually leave him all alone. Damn.
"You'll never know where you are in his plans till you seriously speak to him though."
Felix said nothing in response. She was right. He needed to talk to Psalm and get it all off his chest. It'd be good for them.
He shivered at the night's breeze and nudged his friend. "Let's go inside."
Ada happily agreed and he couldn't blame her, because all she had on was a crop top and shorts. She was definitely feeling the breeze more than he was.
*****
Exams were done. From what Felix had been told, the school always took their sweet time to get the results and prepare the graduation ceremony. Also, everybody was obligated to come to the graduation ceremony and weren't allowed to go home. But Felix didn't know how they'd even know if anyone missed the ceremony.
He looked out the window as he got into the beautiful room. He really needed to get some of this privilege people were enjoying.
"You're quieter than usual," Psalm said when he closed the bedroom door behind them.
"Yeah. I'm just thinking," Felix responded, moving straight to his king-sized bed, groaning internally at how comfortable it was. He felt so relaxed and fought the urge to just fall asleep on it.
"Thinking about what?"
Felix closed his eyes so he couldn't see his face. He was trying to get his thoughts together.
"Just things like..." He trailed off, trying to get the confidence to say what was on his mind.
"Me?"
Felix smiled a bit. "Yes."
"What about me? Did I do something?"
He felt the bed dip as he breathed in Psalm's scent. He was really close.
"You didn't do anything. I'm just thinking about your graduation, how you're celebrating...what I should get you and all."
He heard Psalm let out a laugh. "You don't have to get me anything. Just you celebrating with me is enough, you know."
Felix didn't protest. "You'll have a party in your house then?"
"Yeah. It's my mom's idea. I wanted it to be somewhere else, but it's not like the house belongs to me."
"Are you going to do your masters?" Felix asked when he realized he still couldn't let some words out of his mouth. He really was fucking up.
Psalm groaned. "I really have no interest in going to school again. I mean, I've learnt a lot of things from people outside the school already."
Felix opened his eyes, moving his body to look at Psalm's side. "So you'll never do a masters."
Psalm shrugged. "I don't think so. I don't want to."
Felix couldn't blame him. He already knew how to play instruments, sing, write music and more without focusing on school. He really was so lucky to have an option. Felix knew that he, himself, wouldn't even think about forfeiting a masters degree opportunity. He was going to go out with a bang and he had three more years to do that.
"So what's next?" Felix asked, now facing the ceiling. "Since you don't want to further your studies... Are you going to travel?"
"Not yet," Psalm answered immediately. "I'm taking a brief break. I don't think you nor my family would appreciate me leaving just like that."
Felix didn't expect that answer. He felt relieved that his boyfriend wouldn't be leaving him immediately, but... he'd still be leaving. And that wasn't even what he'd wanted to talk deeply about.
Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something he'd finally gotten the courage to let out, he felt some movement beside him. He turned his head to see that Psalm was lying down beside him now, eyes focused on the ceiling.
"I'm trying to see what you're seeing," he muttered. "But there's nothing remarkable up there."
Felix smiled. "You sound annoyed."
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Because I want you to focus on me," Psalm said, now looking directly at him.
"But I'm listening to you."
"It's not the same thing though," Psalm said, now really close to him. They were so close now that their arms touched and they could feel each other's breaths, while looking deeply into each other's eyes.
"You're really pretty," Psalm whispered.
Felix felt his face change color. "You're the one who's pretty."
Psalm simply smiled. "That's not true."
Then he used his other hand to touch his cheek and caress his face before his lips landed on Felix's. They shared a slow and sweet kiss that made Felix momentarily forget the words he was about to say. And when the kiss deepened, he forgot them completely.