—(Mark)—
As we pull up to the house, I'm excited to "surprise" Noah. It's already a given that he knows I'm going to show up for his birthday. The gift I have in my hand is a new keyboard he's been wanting to get. I've also gotten him a $60 gift card for the local gaming store so he can get whatever he wants.
As I enter the house, my parents look surprised when they see that I'm sporting a genuine smile and not the fake one they'd gotten used to. I place my gift on the table, give my mom a side hug, and give my dad a full hug. It had been a while since I'd given them a hug, even if it was a quick one.
"Is Noah in his room?" I ask.
"Yeah, he's playing on his PC before the guests start to arrive," my dad says.
"Great." I quickly walk up the stairs.
I knock on the door and hear, "You can enter, Mars. You know that."
"Can't you even pretend to be shocked I'm here? After taking time out of my schedule?"
"Please, it's summer break. All you're doing is either working out or playing video games. Besides, I can hear your heavy footsteps from a mile away," he jokingly states.
"Why, I never! Noah Ambrose, are you calling me fat?" I place my hand across my chest in a mock gesture of offense.
"I'm not calling you skinny, that's for sure," he says while still playing.
I pick him up from the desk, and he starts to fight to get out of my arms.
"Come on, it's not fair! You're a literal werewolf; I can't fight back!" he stammers out while I tickle him.
"Excuses," I respond, dropping him and messing with his hair.
Noah starts to straighten himself out. "You're in a happy mood."
"Of course I am. It's your birthday," I say.
"No, I mean you look happier and more healthy somehow. I mean, I knew you sounded happier when we played online, but you are happier, aren't you?"
"Don't worry about that. Today is about you!" I deflect the question.
"Alright, but we will talk about this, you know." Damn, -1 luck.
"Whatever you say, lil' man." I mess up his hair again.
"Hey! I just fixed my hair! And I'm not little anymore; I'm 13!" he says indignantly.
"You'll forever be lil' to me." I laugh.
"Werewolf!" is his only explanation.
"Excuses," is mine.
"You caused me to lose the match!"
"It was a lost cause anyway. You guys got flanked," I matter-of-factly say.
"Because I was supposed to guard the back!" he exclaims.
"You should have done that then." I only get a death stare as my response.
"Come get ready. Your friends are probably coming soon."
"Okay, but try not to scare th–em." He only realizes what he says comes off as a bit insensitive when he says the last words.
"It's fine, Noah," I wave it off. "Besides, they should know that you have a big, strong, handsome brother behind you." I flex my arms.
He gags. "Leave already."
As I turn to leave, Noah grabs my arm, and I let myself turn to face him.
"You should know Gavin is coming."
"Okay?" It takes me a moment to think why Gavin coming would affect me when I realize that if Gavin comes, it means John, his older brother, is also coming. John and I were like brothers, but he also left me when I changed. "Oh…It'll be alright, Noah. James is here. If I can't keep my emotions in check, then James will keep me in line."
The guests start to arrive, and I stick to the corner of the room, just enjoying the happy atmosphere. For the most part, people leave me to my own devices, with only the adults giving me a glance or two with a worried look. I just wave at them if I catch them staring for a bit too long.
I make my way to the kitchen to grab a refill of my drink. I can both hear and smell someone following. I know it's John just by that.
I start to pour my drink and say, "Yes, John," my back still to him.
"Can we talk for a moment, Ma-"
"DON'T…you dare call me Mars. It's Markus to you." I raise my voice before I collect myself.
"Alright, can we talk for a moment, Markus?" he whispers.
I grunt and start walking to my old room. I sit before pointing at my chair and saying, "Sit." He does so.
John and I used to be the same height; now I stood a head taller than him and probably weighed more than twice what he did. I still find it hard to believe we are so close after the way things ended.
"Are you going to talk or just stare at me all day?" I say, trying to get this conversation over with.
"I just wanted to apologize fo-" I cut him off. I don't want to hear it.
"Apology accepted. Is that all?" I say with a hollow voice, with no emotion behind it. I start to stand up. That was when he placed his hand on my knee, and I backed away from him quickly. "DON'T TOUCH ME… don't - just don't." I saw the fear in his eyes. He saw me move quickly, probably thinking I would snap and attack.
"Do you think that we can ever go back to the way we were, Markus?" I can hear the quiver in his voice. "We can work on it while we go to scho-"
"No, we can't. I'm not going back there, John. I've moved away."
"When? But your parents still live here." He's grasping for things that might make what I said false.
"Doesn't concern you anymore, John," I say with spite. "It stopped being your concern when you blocked me and left me behind. Tell the rest of your friends that Mental Markus isn't coming back and never will be."
"I-I-I never called you that!"
"But did you defend me when people did?" He stays silent.
"Some brother you were. You opted to kick me out of your life, John. You don't get to come back to me and expect me to welcome you back." I stand up, and he does so. He starts to back up as I move forward. His back hits the wall. "This time I'm opting out of your life, John." I poke him in the chest with every word. He lets his body slump to the ground.
"Don't bother reaching out to me on my phone. I've changed my number." I turn to leave.
"Please, Mars," he sniffles out. "I made a mistake, Mars."
"You did, J-J. One I haven't gotten past and maybe never will." I leave the room only to find Noah putting his ear on the door.
"Th-th-the p-p-party is c-c-coming to an end and our p-p-parents w-w-wanted to kn-know w-w-where you w-w-were," he stutters out.
I grab him by the nape of his neck and walk him to his room before I close the door behind me. I let myself fall to the floor, my legs splayed out in front of me and my back to the door, and I just hug Noah from behind and cry.
"I'm sorry for ruining your birthday, Noah. You shouldn't have heard any of that," I say, pain evident in my voice. I stand up before letting myself fall onto his bed.
"It's alright, Mars. You didn't ruin anything."
"Can you tell Gavin that his brother needs him and get James for me?" He nods.
"You still care for him, don't you?" he quietly says.
"More than he deserves," I whisper out.
James walks through the door a few minutes later.
"You heard everything, didn't you," I sneer at him.
"Woah, walk that attitude back. I'm still your Alpha," he says with a firm voice.
I'm cowed by the tone of his voice. James lets things slide here and there, but he always keeps me in check when I cross the line.
"You're right. I'm sorry." I slump even further onto the bed.
"You know that you'll have to talk to Lyla before you sleep tonight, right?"
"Yeah," I say with a sullen voice.
I quickly say goodbye to my parents and Noah. We make the drive back to the cabins, and Lyla is already waiting for me.
After I had the conversation with Lyla, I headed to bed to try and get some decent sleep for the early day tomorrow.
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[A/N: The following is the conversation with Lyla. It's basically a rehashing of the chapter. Read it or don't; it's up to you. But you could consider the chapter end here.]**
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Lyla and I settled into the cabin's living room, the warm glow of the fireplace creating a comforting atmosphere. She noticed my tense demeanor and raised an eyebrow.
"Something on your mind, Mark?" she asked gently.
I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Yeah, I had a... conversation with John at the party."
Lyla leaned forward, her expression encouraging. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
I nodded, recounting the events from earlier. "I was pouring myself a drink when John approached me. He wanted to talk, but... he started to
call me 'Mars'. I snapped at him, and told him it was 'Markus' to him. I... I was angry, Lyla."
She nodded, listening intently. "That's understandable. What happened next?"
"He apologized," I said, the bitterness creeping into my voice. "But I didn't want to hear it. I cut him off and told him I accepted his apology just to get it over with. Then he touched my knee, and I freaked out. I told him not to touch me, and he looked scared. Like he thought I might attack him."
"How did that make you feel?" Lyla asked softly.
"It... it hurt. Seeing that fear in his eyes," I admitted. "Then he asked if we could go back to the way we were, and I told him no. I told him I've moved away, that it's none of his concern anymore."
"And how did he respond?" she prompted.
"He was desperate, grasping at straws. He asked about my parents still living here. I told him it didn't concern him. I was so angry, Lyla. I reminded him how he abandoned me, how he didn't defend me when people called me 'Mental Markus'."
Lyla's eyes softened with empathy. "That must have been really hard for you."
"It was," I said, my voice shaking slightly. "I told him he doesn't get to come back into my life just because he feels guilty now. I told him not to bother reaching out because I've changed my number."
"How did he react to that?" she asked.
"He begged me, Lyla," I said, feeling the sting of the memory. "He called me 'Mars' again, and I could hear the desperation in his voice. But I told him he made a mistake, one I haven't gotten past and maybe never will. Then I walked out and found Noah eavesdropping outside the door."
Lyla sat back, absorbing everything I had said. "It sounds like you were very honest with him about how you feel. That's a good step, Mark. But it also sounds like it was a very painful conversation for both of you."
"It was," I admitted. "I just... I don't know if I can ever forgive him, Lyla. He hurt me so much."
"Forgiveness is a process, and it's okay if you're not ready for that yet," she said gently. "What's important is that you're acknowledging your feelings and expressing them. That's progress."
I nodded, feeling a bit lighter after sharing the burden of the conversation. "Thanks, Lyla. It helps to talk about it."
"Anytime, Mark," she said with a reassuring smile. "Remember, you're not alone in this. We're here to support you every step of the way."