She waited patiently for the results to load. Her eyes fixed on the bright screen of her computer, anticipating the results. She would push her glasses up a bit her nose as two strands of long hair fell in front of her face. She folded her hands together on the table, moving an inch closer as her heart raced for the best or the worst.
"Hey."
She looked up to see her only friend, Violet, drawing the seat opposite hers and at the other side of the table.
"Hi."
Her mouth began to water at the large cup of ice-cream, cake and cheeseburger Violet offloaded in front of her to eat. She closed her eyes, shook her head and scolded herself for even thinking of eating again. The deal was 1,500 calories per day. And she has already had enough.
"What are you doing?" Violet asked while taking a massive bite out of the cheeseburger. She swallowed, noticing how good having a bite of that must be in her… Shit! Stop thinking about it!
"Erm…just taking another test," She replied. Violet paused from taking another bite.
"What?" Ebony asked when her friend wouldn't stop staring.
"Ebony? Are you sure you are alright?"
Ebony leaned back on her chair, burying her hands under the table and began to peel on the skin on her palms with her nails.
"What…why…what makes you say that?"
Violet let go of her cheeseburger to also relax on her chair, shaking her head at her friend in disbelief. "You already took fifteen of those tests just this morning. You didn't sleep all night because of your stupid goal to read and complete five books before daybreak. Now, you don't eat food more than a certain calorie. Doing all this wouldn't make you any smarter than you are but you will just end up killing yourself."
Her mouth twitched, feeling hurt by what she said.
"I-- I…just want the best for…"
"You just want the best for yourself? Really? You call all this doing yourself a huge favor? For god sake Ebony, you are beautiful and perfect just the way you are! And no one really cares whether you are smart or not. Grades or scores can't really justify anything. Stop doing this to yourself, honestly."
She stopped picking on the flesh on her palms, considering her friend's words. Ebony looked around her, noticing her other classmates and peers. They were all laughing, vibing and eating as much as they want. Everyone had a hot dog or a piece of bread in front of them with large cans and bottles of soda. She was the only one surrounded by heavy books and a laptop filled with test questions she takes every day with high hopes of increasing her IQ one day. She wants to be smart like the rest of them.
The door to the cafeteria swung open, and she instantly became distracted by them. The college queens and sweetheart princesses. They all had the perfect body and the slim waist and thin legs all guys love. High cheekbones and doll-like faces, it felt so unreal. They look even better without makeups, and she heard they were born with such looks naturally. Blessed with the good genes. Whatever they consume or years without exercise wouldn't do a lot of damage to their bodies.
She placed her hands on the table once again just to take a closer look. Their flawless, pale skin.
They are perfect.
Just perfect.
One of the guys saw them and the whole guy groups hailed and waved at them to come over. Every other pretty girl apart from her also want to be their friends. They all wish to be their friends.
"How would it feel to be pretty and smart? To have what they have?"
Violet frowned to see who she's referring to while pushing a spoon of Ice cream down her throat. Jaqculine, the leader of the pretty and flawless girls group aka the queens group waved at her. She returned her greeting with a fake smile towards them and faced her insecure friend once again.
"You mean being fake, having a rotten red lip that smells with gossips and random make outs from hundreds of guys they don't even want?"
Ebony smiled faintly, shaking her head. "No. Their perfect body and skin. The way people praise them for being so smart and intelligent at the same time."
"Oh, god, Ebony, please. Not again. They are not pretty and definitely not that smart. It is all an illusion to make you feel inferior when you are not."
Ebony didn't say a word, but just kept staring and imagining herself in the perfect body of Jacqueline or Juliet. She went back to her laptop and was surprised to see the results of her latest IQ test out about three minutes ago. Her heart froze, and she quickly clicked on it to see how it was.
Am I getting smarter now? She hoped with every fiber of her being.
The result was even worse than the one she did before this. She dropped by a mark, and her eyes felt like shedding tears at the awful results.
"Which one did I get wrong?" She whined holding her head out of frustration.
Slam!
She jumped when Violet reached for her laptop and closed it. She brought the device close to her, and Ebony watched in horror as Violet pushed it down her handbag and stood up.
"You are getting this back until you realize what you are doing to yourself is too much! Try breathing properly and I will return this back to you. Moreover, don't tell me you are not coming to the party tomorrow night because you don't have a certain score in a dumb IQ test today, are you?"
Ebony continued with what she was doing to herself under the table. She did not forget about Violet's super rich uncle's sixtieth birthday party tomorrow at a five-star hotel she couldn't even pronounce or remember the name. All she knew was that the hotel had a French word and very difficult to pronounce.
Things would have been a lot better if she were smarter. She gulped.
Violet narrowed her eyes at her in suspicion. "You did not forget about the party, did you?"
Ebony smiled, "No, of course not."
"And you are coming, right?" Violet gave her the don't you dare say no, or I will eat you inside out look.
"Y…eah." Her hands went to one of her shoulders trying to rub off the feeling of just lying to her friend.
"Good. I am coming to pick you up by eight. So be ready by then."
Ebony bit down on her lips hard, there was no escaping this. She had to go. Telling her not to bother would just make her even more suspicious of her plans to back off, stay at home, exercise more and read. A lot more than she usually does. She felt bad as she remembered the test score earlier. Why wasn't her effort bringing forth good fruits?
Is it until she read the whole day, she would be smart enough to live in this cruel world?! Why is it so difficult to look like what you want, but easy to look like your nightmares?
Why isn't anything going as planned in her life?
"Ebony!"
She almost fell from her seat at the sudden call of her name. She looked around and saw it was Violet who called her name.
"What?"
"I was trying to say if you have anything decent to wear to the party? If not, we could go home and borrow something of mine to doll you up in."
Would I be able to fit in the dress?
She smiled, "Yeah, of course I do. I just have to bring it out of my closet, that's all."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
Her friend tried to read her face to make sure she wasn't lying. When she couldn't make out anything, she nodded and left, since they were all done with lectures for the day.
Ebony watched her leave. She imagined bringing out all the dresses in her closet one by one in her head, figuring out which one says yes to a rich party she doesn't want to go to tomorrow night.