"So, what has Alice told you about me?" Alex asked Jasper as he listened to the lesson.
"Nothing much besides the fact that you're a terrible comedian," Jasper answered, his face stoic throughout.
"How can you say that with a straight face?" Alex thought.
"What do you mean?" Jasper asked Alex as he turned to face him. This time, his expression showed a small smile, just barely noticeable.
"I said that out loud, didn't I?" Alex asked Jasper.
"You sure did." Jasper nodded as he turned to face the professor once more.
"How can you listen to that jargon? I find it extremely boring unless you are looking at the professor, of course, then I totally get you," Alex said, a small grin overtaking his face.
"I'll have to leave the professor to you, Alex, I'm already in a relationship," Jasper said,
"Right. You're together with Alice, right?" Alex asked as he closed his eyes, his head resting on the desk.
'Ah, it sure is annoying that I'm not sleepy as a vampire.'
"Alice, no, I'm not together with her. Where did you even hear that? She's like a little sister to me," Jasper said, his voice clearly showing his confusion.
Alex's eyes opened wide as he sat up straight and turned towards Jasper just as quickly.
"You aren't together with Alice? Then who are you with?" Alex asked, his voice showing how flabbergasted he was at the information.
'What do you mean that you consider Alice your little sister? What do you mean that she isn't your girlfriend? Why is this world's plot already collapsing on its feet.' Alex thought as he imagined himself with bitter tears falling down his cheeks.
'Ah, this is so fucked, why do I have to deal with all these changes when all those fanfiction main characters had it so easy' Alex's thoughts continued to run a mile a second as he waited for Jasper's answer.
"Well, I didn't know you would be so interested in my love life, Alex. Is this a part of being my 'Homie' as well?" Jasper asked, his voice clearly teasing Alex.
'Ah, you old geezer, just tell me who you are with before this whole plot shatters any further,' Alex thought, his inner face becoming similar to what he recalled a green frog meme looked like in his past life.
"Yeah, as your homie, I need to know this information as fast as possible so I don't gun for your girl, you know?" Alex said as he tried to come up with any bullshit response, he could come up with on the fly.
Jasper released a light laugh as he finally answered his question.
"I'm with Edythe. We have been together for a few years now," Jasper said as he finally revealed what Alex thought was the secret of the ages.
'I really should have listened to what Jessica rambled on about on Monday, ' Alex thought as he nodded towards Jasper, showing he understood.
"Cool, well then, I wish you both the best of luck in your loving endeavors," Alex said, continuing to nod while closing his eyes.
"Why do you sound like those fake love gurus on TV?" Jasper asked almost immediately.
It felt like a brick had fallen on his head as Alex turned to stare at Jasper, completely shocked.
Opening his mouth, Alex uttered aloud.
"How do you know what a TV show Fake Love Guru is but don't know what Homie means?"
"I guess it just slipped my radar," Jasper replied and then suddenly froze.
His face started twitching as he took on a dark expression. It really looked like he was experiencing some deep pain throughout his body.
'He's smelling blood?' Alex thought and then decided to try it himself, only to find that the smell of human blood was indeed in the air.
'I have to do something on the off chance this guy loses his mind or some other bullshittery. From all that has happened until now, I really should expect the unexpected. What if Bella comes to me one day and tells me that she is actually a he? No, I can't think like that,' Alex thought as he imagined his little sister, with a deep voice, waking him up from his slumber, a long Italian mustache on top of her lips.
"Pfff," Alex couldn't hold it in any longer, and he almost burst out laughing.
'Not the time, really not the time,' Alex thought immediately after. He opened the wider window behind him, allowing the air to carry the scent of the blood away from his and Jasper's locations.
'This should help him out at least a little bit.' Alex thought as he stared at Jasper's expression, which had cleared up a bit and wasn't as dark as before.
"Are you alright, Jasper? Looks like you're in pain. Do you need me to ask the professor to send you to the infirmary?" Alex asked out of the need to hide the truth about his knowledge.
Jasper looked at Alex, got closer to him, and nodded, turning to face the windows instead of the students.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just get these pains sometimes. My father is a doctor, and he says it's just a medical condition, but it thankfully is not lethal and only causes pain sometimes," Jasper said as he tried to explain why he looked like he did only a few seconds earlier.
'Right, not lethal to you, but very, very lethal to everyone around you besides me. I guess since I can't really die, though, I haven't tested to see if that wish is true, and I really don't want to test it out.' Alex thought.
"Right, well, that's good then. I hope you're better now. Do you want to change seats with me and be closer to the window so you can get more air?" Alex asked Jasper as he motioned towards the window with his index finger.
Jasper nodded and mumbled a small thank you as they switched seats.
His expression visibly calmed down after. Clearly, he was in less pain from trying to control his urge to rip everyone in the room to bits.
'Good, crysis avioided.' Alex thought.
__________________________________________________________________________
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