"You're food has gone cold."
"Oh! I forgot."
Risha closed the book it front of her and sat. She was lying down in the bed, reading a romantic tragedy. Maisha gave her that. It has been 3 weeks in since she came here. Maisha was still uncomfortable around her and didn't talk much but compared to before it was better. The situation was improving. The first week, Maisha refrained from talking. She would come to serve Risha's meal and quickly run after that. In the second week, she stayef during the meal time and ask Risha about her well-being. Risha took advantage of that and talked about small things making her feel comfortable. Maisha didn't open up instantly. She started to reply more and one day she brought books for Risha. they would often discuss about the book and Maisha began to come more often. Risha was happy. This version of her mom felt more humane. She had many emotions on her face.
"Hey,where are you lost again?" Maisha snapped.
"Nothing, just got lost in your thought."
Maisha sneered but Risha could tell she was happy.
"What were you saying again?"
Maisha fidgeted before finally saying, "Do you recall your past?"
Risha shook her head," I guess it's gone for good."
Maisha finally let her guard down and sat beside Risha.
"You see, I never had a friend. No one seems to like me. I don't know about my father so my only family were my mother and my twin sister,Misha. My mother doted on her and often forgot me. Misha never really liked me. So I didn't have a close one. Being so lonely, I made an imaginary friend. I named it Risha. I was able to go through many harsh time because of it. It is very special to me. Now that you don't have a name or any memory, would you like to be my Risha? I mean you can have the name and be my friend. I mean if you like to."
Tears fall down Risha's face. She had no idea why but it felt familiar. It was sad. Maisha hurriedly said,"Hey, I'm not forcing you. You don't have to be my friend if you don't want to. I mean... "
Risha interrupted her,"I don't know why I cried. And..."
With a smile, she said, "Hello,I'm Risha. What's your name, friend?"
Maisha bit her lips,"I am Maisha Alam. It's really nice to meet you."
Risha hugged her new friend. A sudden warmed wraped her around. It felt nice.
The conversation continued. Hours passed without them noticing. Eventually the moon rose.
Getting out of the room, Maisha still had the smile on her face. But her warm gaze was slowly replaced with a cold and sharp one.
'Friend, huh! What a bunch of bullshit.'
[ Maisha Alam ]
From the very beginning, it was a game where both of us had deceived each other. Amnesia? There was no way that girl forgot her past. Want to know me? As if I would believe it! Maybe she is a spy. She might want to get our plans. I tried to bait her by talk in a way she never expected but she's way too smart. Acting like you don't care, what an impressive acting! Fine, if you want to play, I will play along.
It would be suspicious if I suddenly became friendly. Better take one step at a time.
The first week, I was the wary cat. Not trusting, not communicating, running away for fear of getting swayed. Second week, my walls crumbled and I accompanied her a few minutes. Still not too trusting, I talked less, listened more, letting someone breach my mental defences slowly. Third week, the meter of wariness got practically nil, but being a shy one in emotional dealings, I put on a facade, a tough one. Conversing more, talking about hobbies, bringing books,letting her wander in my house leaving no secracy, I practically became defenseless and vulnerable letting her conquer my heart completely and begging her to be friend. What a sob story! I'm impressed with my own acting. That damn spy, let me test your limits. In an isolated place, a pathetic girl pretending to be strong, how long can you keep your guard up? Sooner or later, I'm gonna break you and squeeze every drop of information you have in that preety skull.'
It was actually impossible for her to trust Risha to begin with. Unlike Risha who lived completely under protection until a month ago, Maisha Alam was someone from an entirely different world. She has been through many ups and downs. She had to become heartless, had to suspect anyone and anything. She never got a chance to trust. She hid her emotions and put on an act so frequently that she got used to it. All of that for the sake of surviving. People struggle to survive for many different reasons. But Maisha Alam survived solely for the sake of surviving. And she planned to continue doing so for a long time no matter what the cost was. Even if it meant that she had to kill, she wouldn't hesitate. How costly can it become?
She didn't even flinch while murdering her younger sister and mother. So what's a bit more? It's just a city, just country, just over half of the world, just millions of people. So what? Those people had nothing to do with her. What does their death have to do with her?
She always thought, ' This cursed world has taken all from me. So why can't I do the same?'
This was Maisha's mindset. Having exposed to cruel reality, she had long lost her humanity. All that was left was a strong primal instinct, an instinct to survive. That was the reason why despite not trusting those person a bit, she still chose to co-operate with them. Cause she knew once she destroys the balance, it won't be hard to finish them all.
So for her who didn't trust her own comrades, it was obvious that she didn't trust Risha. The moment she woke up and faked amnesia, Maisha wanted to kill her. It won't be hard. Just a snap and her neck would be broken. But... she was somewhat unusual and that was something useful to Maisha. So she pretended to be fooled and went with her play. Her actual aim was to beat her in her own game and eventually tame her. It could be her very own trump card.
Days after days while absolutely feeling disgusted, she accompanied Risha. It would be lie to say she didn't waver once but her hatred towards the world was too much strong to be subdued. So she talked about her tragic past and an imaginary friend made of loneliness letting Risha's guard down. Not that she completely trusted Risha's tears, she can never trust anyone. But she knew pretending to be an ally would be easier.
'Risha,huh? Indeed a very special person. Please continue to fall for my lies. Be a useful one' Maisha thought, ignoring the bitter tast in my mouth.
'It has been exhausting. I hate everything.'