Chapter 15
Even after what Sora had done, Ayane wasn't upset about that. Of course Sora didn't know that, but Ayane was upset about something else. Time froze around her, she stared at Himura and Ayane both. Watching them both have looks of concern on their faces. Ayane enjoyed her and Sora's moment, she did. It just reminded her too much of her mother. Those words are among the lines of what Ayane's mother would say to her. That's why she walked off. Ayane didn't know how to respond, nor react. The most she knew how to do was run away.
Truth was Ayane has suffered Depression her whole life. The medicine bottle in the bathroom cupboard cabinet above the sink, were her antidepressants. Sora always wondered what they were. The bottle never had a label on them. Assuming Ayane ripped off the label to hide any questions that Sora might've had, that would bring her back to those memories of when her mother was still alive. As for Ayane and Himura's father he was never really in Ayane's life, he was always working, but always had enough time for Himura. Ayane snapped back into consciousness, Both of the people she loved more than anything else, looking deeply concerned.
Ayane turned back around to the window, and continued looking out of it. Sora, feeling a high sense of guilt wash over her, like standing alone by the bus on a downpouring rainy day. Sora and Himura approached Ayane from opposite sides of her shoulders.
"What's the matter sis..?" Himura asked Ayane.
"Yeah Ayane what's going on..?" Sora followed. Ayane wasn't up for talking, but she couldn't keep hiding from what's been tormenting her. She never told either of them about her depression, and truth be told, she didn't think they'd accept her.
Heartbreaking, isn't it? It was, but what came after wasn't as such. Ayane parted her lips and sighed, then turned around to face the both of them. Ayane felt herself about to drown in a pool of misery. Tears filled her eyes, and she began speaking, and what she said broke both Sora and Himura's hearts to pieces. Not only because of what she said, but how she said it.
"The truth is,... I've had really terrible depression since mom died…" Ayane was balling her eyes out. After saying that she dropped to the floor, and cried and cried. Sora and Himura watched her for a moment as she broke down. Sora felt horrible, she knew her mother died, but she never knew a thing about her depression. She always seemed so happy…. Where did I go wrong….? I didn't fulfill my promise… As all these thoughts crossed Sora's mind she felt more and more sorry for Ayane, but more disappointed in herself. Sora walked over to the sobbing girl, head in her knees on the floor, and gave her a warm and heartfelt embrace. Ayane was taken by surprise.
Himura was next. Himura wrapped her arms around the both of them. Ayane cried harder, and harder. As Ayane weeped in the arms of both of the people she deeply cared for, she felt more morose than she did before, sinful, more of. She felt as if her peccantful behavior was causing her to mourn more. Himura listened, Sora listened.
"Just because you have depression. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop caring for you.." Himura and Ayane both said in unison. They smiled at each other when they did so. Ayane perked up her head, both of them releasing themselves from Ayane. She gave a vacuous expression. Her eyes illuminated after she played back what they both said in her mind.
"R-Really… I thought you guys wouldn't… Like me anymore…"
"Ayane.. I'm always going to care for you.."
"Sis it's okay to have depression.. You just need to learn to control it.. And no matter what happens—"
Sora interrupted Himura and finished her sentence. "We'll always be here for you.. Always.. Do you understand..? I never want to make you feel like you can't talk to me.. Okay..?" And hearing Sora's shaky voice, Ayane buries herself in the arms of Sora and cries. Himura smiles with tears also filling her eyes.
It was a sweet moment for the both of them. Ayane felt like she lifted one hundred pounds off of her chest. She told them her big secret. Ayane stopped crying after some time explaining what she was facing and going through, and no matter how much she vented to the both of them, they listened with open ears, both Himura and Sora. Sora was a bit shocked at some of the stuff, like when Ayane attempted Suicide a couple years ago. Of course Himura knew about that already, but Sora was completely thrown for a loop. Nevertheless, Sora continued to listen, but she was more concerned than before. Suicide? Depression? All things that Sora never could've thought Ayane would go through. She always looked so happy, always smiling, always positive. Yes, she had her moments, everybody does.
Ayane's moment started quite some time ago. Ayane was the definition of 'don't judge a book by its cover', and Sora came to realize that. Never assume how someone is based on their expressions, or how they act, assuming in this case, is your worst enemy.
Ayane calmed down after a few hours. She talked, laughed, cried, but most importantly, she faked. Faking happiness for so long was one of her reasons for even having depression in the first place. True her pills kept her from being sad, but she made it worse by acting happy. She felt alone and there was nothing she could do about it. Besides embracing the ones that were important to her. She was pushing them both away, keeping secrets from them for so long. Those times were over. Himura and Sora were told everything, and they listened to everything.
"Whatever you're going through Ayane we'll both be here.."
"We sure will sis.."
"Thank you both so much.." After those words, they brought themselves in for another warm embrace. Ayane felt the love, the care, and more importantly, the happiness she had been longing for.