Chereads / Not A Perfect World / Chapter 32 - Everything

Chapter 32 - Everything

I sat in front of Mother with my hands clasped together. Why am I so nervous? I just stared blankly at her, bracing myself for what she'd say.

"As you might have guessed, the reason for my absence has something to do with Teon," she began. "Teon is the second prince of the empire from the late empress consort. She was a good friend of mine and entrusted him to me, so he is my responsibility," she explained. I had guessed most of this, but confirming it was really surprising.

"Teon's life was being threatened, so I took him out of the palace for a while. He stayed in one of my estates but came for a while around the time I adopted you. He was not accepted by his family, so they sought to kill him because he's a threat. With my support, the threat dropped, and Teon's supporters increased, but nothing will work if the present emperor is still there trying to kill him." His own father wants to kill him? I escaped a terrible family, but Teon is still plagued by his.

"I left during those years because the emperor sought to kill me because I was in his way, so I went to alert my allies. You must have heard of the attack on the mansion in the West. If we had been there, we would have died, so you saved us both in a way," she said. That's good to hear.

"I had Teon return to the palace for a while so he could show his face to the nobles, making them compare him to the first prince unconsciously." That is an interesting plan, but won't Teon's life be in danger? "I trust Teon to take care of himself while he's there. He'll use the chance to gain more connections behind the emperor's back," she continued. She looked at me and asked, "Do you get what I'm saying?"

"Yes," I replied.

"As for the Alden family, I heard you were given a rough explanation," she said, and I nodded. "Alden was once a vassal family to Tyrile, one of the pillars, but Tyrile had a head that was easily controlled. He was fooled and soon deceived into a bad investment that almost destroyed the family, by Rosen," she said with pure disgust. She really hates Rosen, but who can blame her?

"All the families left to avoid going down with Tyrile. Alden, out of loyalty, stayed even after the head abandoned the family to perish. The Alden head at the time took up all the burden and cleared the debt, even though it took years. The next head built Alden and reclaimed Tyrile's land but refused to give up his or his father's efforts, so he took in Tyrile and made them wealthy again, but only if they served Alden. All Tyrile's properties are under Alden, which makes it impossible for them to break off." They are helpless then.

"The public sees Alden as a family that stole from Tyrile, but even Tyrile knows that without Alden, they're nothing," she said. So everything is because of one foolish head; he ruined the efforts of his predecessors like that.

"As for those boys, their situation is… complicated," she said, and I could see the pain in her eyes. "My ex-husband is from a family that was once our vassal, but they broke off a few years ago. He was trying to build his family's status by making me relinquish my title as duchess, but I refused. I had considered it, but his continuous pestering made me second-guess." I wonder what kind of person he is.

"As the head, I have always been taught to put rationality over personal feelings. I investigated his dealings and found out that he was working for Vernin, and he used Alden's resources to build his status in Vernin," she continued. "I confronted him about it and gave him a chance, but he was beyond redemption, so I kicked him out."

"I don't know what he told my children, but they turned against me and decided to follow him. I tried persuading them, even using threats…" she stopped and let out a bitter laugh. "When they returned two years ago, I took them in, but I restricted their involvement in Alden's matters. They might be my children, but I can't trust them," she said. Anyone might say she was heartless, but I can tell she was hurt, and she still is.

"That is why I don't want you getting close to them. I can't abandon my children, but I won't hurt my last baby for them. Having at least one person I really trust is enough for me," she said. I could hear the pain in her voice. I want to hug her and tell her I'll always be there, but I don't want to overstep.

I stood up reluctantly and sat next to her. Even if a hug is too much for me, I think the gesture is…

I couldn't finish my line of thought before she pulled me into a hug. I did the right thing for once. I let her hug me as I let my mind wander through the information I just received.

"I promised myself I wouldn't get too attached, but I didn't even last a few weeks," she said, patting my head. "Do you trust me, Livi?" she asked, and I stiffened. I don't take those types of questions lightly. I can't lie about these types of things, but I'm too scared to say the truth.

The truth is I don't trust anyone. Lady Myra has been the best thing to ever happen to me, a part of my life that became a part of me without my realization, but I don't trust anyone, including myself.

I know she wishes nothing but good for me, but the people in my life before I met Lady Myra have never given me a reason to believe in anyone's goodwill.

"I…" I croaked, unable to give her an answer. Will she get angry if I say no? I suddenly felt dizzy, my head hurt, and fear started crawling slowly up my spine. I wanted to push her away, but I was too scared to.

"I know, Livi," she said, and I paused. "You don't have to say it for me to know. I know the type of life you lived before you came to my house, and after you ran away," she said, patting my head slowly. "I was hurt when you left, but in the end, it made sense. I checked on you for the first week, but seeing your routine, I thought it was your father's plan all along," she said. She checked on me?

I grabbed her dress tightly to stop myself from crying. Why did she check on me? Why does she care?

"Livi," she called, and I gasped, realizing what I was doing. I let go quickly and tried moving away, but she dragged me back. "You should try crying more; it helps you let go of things," she said, and I looked at her.

"Did you cry when they left?" I asked against my better judgment. She sighed and put her forehead against mine.

"I have let go." That explained everything. "But if you leave me, Livi, I won't let go." That sounded like a threat. I don't know what to make of that, but surprisingly I'm not that scared.

"I won't leave," I said, and she hugged me tightly again. "I have no one else anyway," I added.