I walked into the office that Blair showed me to see Mother. She had called for me while I was going through my work again after breakfast.
"Livi," she called with a bright smile. "I have finished your research lab," she said. Really? "Do you want to see it?" she asked, and I nodded shyly. "I'll have someone show it to you. I'm in the middle of something, so I can't show it to you personally."
"Thank you," I said, and she smiled.
"Take it as a pre-birthday gift," she said. That's right, my birthday is in a few days.
"Thank you," I repeated.
"My lady," Blair said from behind me. "Will you like to go now?" she asked, and I turned to look at Mother, then turned back and nodded.
We walked out, and she led me out of the building to a small one-story structure at the back of the house.
"This is it," she said and brought out a key. It was too much. It's just a temporary research building; I don't need a whole building. Blair opened the door, and we walked in.
I walked around each room. It was filled with mostly shelves for notes and ingredients. I looked in the drawers to see what ingredients were stored and made a mental note to write out the things that were missing.
"Is the building to your liking?" Blair asked, and I turned to give her a faint smile, the best I had learned to give.
"It is," I replied.
"Alright, that's good to know. I'll leave you to it. There's a room here if you don't feel like coming back to the main house," she said and left.
I started making the medicine I made in the academy from scratch, trying to see if there was any mistake or a way to work with what I have, but there was none.
I spent the whole night working, and I didn't realize the time until Blair walked in and called my attention to it.
"My lady, did you sleep last night?" she asked, and I shook my head. "You need to take a break and get some sleep," she said.
Blair really doesn't know that this is Azure's definition of well-rested. For someone with a life-threatening disease, I live a very unhealthy lifestyle.
"Okay," I replied, moving for the first time since I started working. My neck was cramped, so I moved it a bit to ease the stiffness.
"You need to freshen up and have something to eat," Blair said, and I nodded, climbing down from the high stool I was sitting on to work.
I walked to the room she mentioned and looked around. It was like my other room, but there was no balcony. I cleaned up and sat to eat. Just as I took the first bite, it started.
I dropped my spoon and held my chest. Another seizure? I gripped the table tightly and closed my eyes. It hurt a lot, but it was nothing. If I wanted to, I could get back to work with this pain.
The door opened, and Tyler walked in with Blair trailing behind. I looked at them and schooled my expression, not giving any hint of pain. It's not my first time anyway.
"Ty, have you eaten?" I asked as he approached me.
"Yes," Blair responded, and I nodded. "My lady, why aren't you eating?" she asked, and I looked at the plate.
"Oh, uh… it's nothing," I said and started eating.
"Madame asked me to call you," Blair said, and I nodded.
I stood up but didn't move. It took longer, but the pain subsided. I walked out and made my way to the main house.
"Good morning, Mother," I said as I walked into her office.
"Livi," she called as her face lit up. "Do you like the building?"
"Yes, thank you," I said, and she smiled.
"I wanted to ask you something. That's why I called you here. I hope I didn't interrupt your work?"
"No, it's fine," I said, walking closer.
"Your birthday is in a few days," she said, and I nodded. "It's customary to have a debutante once you turn eighteen. Would you like one?" she asked. In such short notice? I don't think there's a point.
"I don't know," I said, and her gaze softened.
"Do you want it or not, Livi?" she asked. Eighteen is a big deal for me, but I don't want something big. I just want it to be how my birthdays were when I was in the West.
"I… That would be…" I couldn't tell whether she wanted it or not. "Great?" I inquired. She smiled and shook her head.
"If you want it, it's fine. If you don't, it's fine," she said, and I nodded. "So we're having a debutante?" she asked, and I nodded. "Blair, she said yes," Mother shouted, and Blair walked in.
"Really?" Blair beamed.
"It was Blair that brought my attention to this matter, so I decided to ask what you think," she said, and I nodded.
"Don't worry, my lady. I'll take care of everything. Just focus on your work," Blair said, and I nodded. I turned to leave but was called back. "Before I forget, what's your favorite color?" Blair asked, and I paused.
My favorite color? Why do I need to have one? I don't have a favorite color. I've never even thought of it.
"I don't have a favorite color," I said genuinely.
"Seriously? That's not good," Blair exclaimed, and my breath caught. Did I say the wrong thing? Should I pick a random color? "I'll have to go with something that matches her pale skin," she said to herself, and I sighed in relief.
I turned and walked out. What was I scared of?
I sighed and walked back to my part of the house. I got back to work immediately and focused on studying rare plants.
My plan was to stay locked up until Blair came calling. The minutes that the pain lasts are becoming longer, which means the Large Worms have become stronger.
I locked myself inside, returning to how I was in school: always busy, skipping meals, exhausted.
Blair always brings me something to eat at a given time, but sometimes I take just a few bites. I was making the medicine again, and even though it should be easier, I had to check my calculations again. But the bottom line was that no matter what I did, it was just pointless. I just kept looking, but nothing was working. There was no hope, but I didn't want to give up. I owed it to Mother to keep going.