Dear desperate diary, we are homeless now. The owners of the building came in and found me with him.

I wasn't supposed to be there. It was meant for only males. I kind of felt this would happen.

I warned him not to take me in, I told him it was wrong yet as stubborn as he was, he refused to listen.

For some reason I feel he is infatuated by me. I'm not surprised, it was the same for all of them.

They couldn't let me go and because of how cute, innocent and most people will say petite I looked, not to talk of the beauty I exuded, not to brag though, but I know I'm pretty.

Despite my height, and despite the fact that I don't even try to do much, I still see the turning of the heads when I walk by. This surely isn't new to me.

There was nothing we could do when they came in at dawn around 5am. We were lying on the same bed, a bed that was meant for only him.

I still remember how naughty he was, that night before we succumbed to sleep. How silly of us. 

........Present......

I stayed awake all night as we sat under the staircase of that uncompleted Storey building with his head laid on my thighs.

He has lost so much weight in this one week we've been staying outside. His skin was dry.

As he shivered due to the cold, I could do nothing than to rob him. The coldness of the night was really bad for him as I feared he might even get sick the next day.

This was all my fault. Why didn't I stay home? Why did I have to convince myself that I'd get a place to stay in that apartment?

Why did I believe so strongly that I could actually stay in that kitchen and survive the three months? What was wrong with me? What is wrong with me?

None of this would have happened. I wouldn't have met him and fallen in love with him and him with me to the extent he had to suffer this way because of me.

Was it even worth it? Was all of this even worth it?

Funny thing is we have a family, we actually don't have to go through this, but we are both afraid of what would happen.

We might probably not end up together if they knew.

We don't want to be apart. NO!!! Never!!! 

We would rather go through this together or die trying. As young as we are. (I thought in my head).

He woke up not long ago and realized I had not slept. I saw the painful emotion in his eyes.

He felt bad that he slept whilst I was awake. I assured him it was fine. I could do this and more for him. It was my pleasure besides one of us needed to stay awake to keep watch. 

He found us a place to take our bath and change. I had to wear one of his friend's clothes. I had my brush with me, but he didn't and just rinsed his mouth with the toothpaste. Of course I couldn't give him mine. Eew!!! No.

We spent our day searching for a place to rent. When we were tired, we'd rest in anyplace we found ourselves. His friends helped in searching for a place as well. I had no friends and still do not.

I am classified as the pretty loner which is a double-edged sword if you ask me. For instance, even though I'm at peace and got no drama from people, but in situations like this I got no one to help me. 

The day was tiring, our only comfort was each other. He was really keen on making sure I was doing well.

Really, I had no complaints, for the reason why I fell for him was because of how he treated me. He made me feel protected and handled me as though I was so fragile. I had never been treated that way and I loved it. 

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I remember the promise we made to each other on the balcony when we actually confessed to each other.

I promised I'd be with him through thick and thin. He did same, but I felt he was a bit skeptical; it was as if he felt I was above him which is funny to me.

He couldn't believe that I could love him. He held me in high esteem, very high esteem. I do feel like I fell first but he fell harder.

We could see the city lights from the balcony it was beautiful. He was standing beside me as we watched.

I turned sideways to look at him and felt no, I have to do this. I turned him around and tiptoeing I kissed him. He was surprised.

With the look on his face, I felt slightly ashamed but as I was about to completely draw back, he pulled me close to himself. I looked up in shock but saw his expression change.

He supported my head with his palm, and I was drawn into the most passionate kiss ever.

I didn't want it to end.

Before I knew it, my hands were around his neck. Gosh, thinking about it makes me feel the butterflies all over again.

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After resting for a while, we got spaghetti with fried egg for supper. We had to manage with the little we had.

For some reason we were content and happy. We'd talk and laugh about random things and though we were sleeping outside, it really didn't seem bad because we were together. I loved to be with him.

There was no dull moment even in our situation, and I think he felt same. I loved it when he'd find his peace with me, how he was able to allow himself to rest when he placed his head on my thighs.

It wasn't once nor twice but several times. I was so happy being able to take care of him. I felt he deserved much more for everything he did and lost for me. 

The next day went on with the same routine. We were able to get some guys who claimed had a place for rent and followed them to the place.

It was horrible.

It turned out it was a place for drunkards and prostitutes. The room was badly kept with broken tiles and broken patches on the walls. The worst of it all was the shared washroom. Don't even want to talk about it.

We went back to our usual spot, the classroom, to rest. I slept for a long time and woke up later in the evening around 6pm. He didn't want to wake me which I was thankful for. We got spaghetti again and fed our tummies. 

He asked for my phone which I didn't hesitate to give him because I knew I wasn't hiding anything or so I thought.

He called me to come to him as we were a bit further apart from where we were sitting since, he was charging our phones. 

I went to him and then he turned the phone to me. I was speechless.

I looked at him and based on his facial expression, my immediate response was to tell a lie.

I saw disappointment.