"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Molly asked, her voice breaking, as they pushed through the sweaty and sloppy crowd of club Euphoria, one of the city's most premium venues.
Carmen had no clue if it was, a good idea that was. The only reason she could think of for dragging her best friend to a place like this—one that had never been a part of her life—was that she wanted to try something new but didn't want to do it alone.
However, the truth about gathering such audacity wasn't far from making her feel a tad guilty. After the encounter with Jenna and Ronin two days ago, Carmen felt the need to prove something. She was yet to understand what exactly the need was (and what it really meant to her), but what she could put together with the anxiousness and desperateness twisting knots in her stomach surely had something to do with her ability to move on.
If Ronin was under the impression that she wasn't done with him just as much as he was with her, she was eager to prove him so darn wrong.
Suppressing all the unsure voices in her head, she lifted her head and grinned brightly over her shoulder at Molly. "Of course, it's a bad idea, but that might be why it feels so good."
"Does it?" Molly asked, not so sure as Carmen.
"Come on, you used to bring me to such clubs and parties all the time when we were in undergrad. What has changed now? Don't tell me you're no longer a party animal. Because I call it bullshit. It was only last week I saw all your dirty dancing pics on Insta."
Molly felt trapped, her cheeks burning bright. "It's not like that," she said sheepishly, realizing that Carmen was ignorant of the incident that had prompted her to try to stay sober and out of trouble after one of her acquaintances had posted those unflattering photos online. The next day was an absolute nightmare. She still shuddered just thinking about it.
Carmen wasn't sure what to make of Molly's reply. It wasn't every day that her best friend seemed so anxious and self-conscious. Molly had always been a more daring version of Carmen, which was probably why they appeared so unlike on the surface yet were so similar on deeper levels. They fit together like two puzzle pieces, one always incomplete without the other.
Molly dropped her gaze and twirled her hair around her finger. A clean tell-tale that she was hiding something and not being comfortable about it.
Carmen considered asking what the matter was, but she remembered how noisy and dark the club was for such important chats. Not to mention that the DJ had lately changed the track, which the partygoers welcomed with a loud cheer. A wave of men and women swarmed past them, squeezing the two friends together in the most unpleasant way possible.
And yet, in the midst of all the discomfort and commotion, they ended up laughing their heads off.
Two hours into the club and the worst had already happened.
Carmen was thrown into the back seat of a stranger's car. She had no clue how they got into this mess or when Molly abandoned her for another guy she met and danced her way out of the club, blowing flying kisses over her shoulder. The only thing that seemed to matter was this man's expert mouth on hers, and she'd be lying if she said it wasn't the best feeling she'd had in a long time.
His large hands roamed about her body, touching every inch of her as she used her hands to feel every inch of him. Not only was he all hard muscles beneath those clothes that felt expensive to the touch, he even smelt so damn good. Carmen could barely stop the moans and grunts from spilling as he dragged his warm mouth from her lips to the slope of her delicate neck, kissing his way down to her cleavage and leaving a hot and wet path of his tongue in its wake.
It was only when he tried to yank the neckline of her top out of the way so he could expose her breast and suck on them, Carmen held his face and brought him up to face her.
Confusion oozed from him as they both struggled to even out their loud and wild breathing.
"I..." she began, a slight bashful grin on her face. "It might sound ridiculous, but..." she gulped, her mouth suddenly dry and her face on fire. "I haven't..." she stammered. She simply couldn't. Why was it so difficult to acknowledge it out loud? It's not like she thought being a virgin at her age was a terrible thing. She knew it was a big deal to some, but Carmen had always wanted to save herself for the right man.
This man on whose lap she was currently straddling was far from being the right man she wanted to lose her virginity to. But she had been married once, betrayed and divorced—it was obvious her search for the right man had gone down the drain.
Carmen wished she could take those words back the instant they left her mouth.
She cursed herself for being so forthright as she felt his strong presence pull back and his mouth no longer raining wonderful kisses on her neck and shoulders. There was no need to provide such insignificant information. He would have found out anyhow if they had decided to keep going and see how far they could go. But no. She had to open her mouth and talk trash. She just had to ruin the fun, leaving both of them to regret what had transpired thus far.
She heard the man sigh as he lifted his hand from her waist and ran it down his face.
"I'm so sorry," she couldn't help but feel bad.
"There's nothing to be sorry about," the man whispered almost instantly, yet Carmen thought the words were spoken with so much grace and patience.
There was something about him—something incredibly alluring that she found hard to resist when he offered to buy her a drink and made her laugh more than she had in a month. She wouldn't go so far as to say he was witty or flirtatious, but he had the sophistication of a gentleman, and that was enough for Carmen. If Ronin had been even a tenth of this man...
Carmen shook her head. No. This was so wrong. She couldn't compare the two men. They had nothing in common. Nothing.
"But I did ruin the mood, didn't I?" She laughed nervously, wanting to scratch the back of her head but resisting the urge. Instead, she bit her lip and pushed herself off his strong thighs, landing next to him. "I understand if this is over. I'll leave you alone."
Carmen saw no reason to stay, there was simply none. Truth be told, she had even forgotten how he looked. It might be the booze in her system or simply her resolve to get through the night, that she hadn't paid much attention to all those things that once used to matter so much to her.
Deep down, she knew a huge pity party was in order after this dreadful encounter. But right now, she couldn't care less. She just wanted to leave the hell out of this car and breathe in some fresh air. It felt like years had passed since she had felt a cool night wind on her cheeks.
Ready to push the door open, Carmen moved away from him when she felt something curl around her forearm.
"No. Stay." The man said, sounding a little less patient than he did a while ago.
Carmen studied his hand on her arm before turning her gaze to where he sat, which was nothing more than a silhouette of a man in absolute darkness.
"Why?" She asked, confused.
"We have the whole night to figure it out, don't we?"
Carmen paused for a moment to reflect. "I don't want your pity."
"I'm many things, Ms Price, but I'm not into sleeping with women just because I feel awful for them."
Just the way he oh so casually suggested sleeping—as in having sex—Carmen felt herself growing hot all over again. He seemed like a decent man for her first time, or at least her drunk mind was convinced that he was. Ronin was happy with Jenna. He didn't think twice before bringing his lover home at the time she was home and still together. He always did what he wanted. Then, why couldn't she? She would show him that she didn't need him. She didn't need him at all.
"Are you in?" The man asked again as if trying to gauge her willingness to take him up on his offer. "I won't stop you if you decide to go right now. No pressure."
Carmen merely gave his proposition five seconds of consideration before withdrawing her hand from the door and sitting back.
"I'm in." She said to him, bracing herself for whatever he had up his sleeve. Hopefully, he won't turn out to be a lunatic or a deadly criminal. That was bound to dampen the whole mood.
The man exhaled deeply and pulled out his phone, putting it to his ear. "Let's head home."
"Home?" Carmen murmured, unsure whether she had heard him right.
The man put down his phone and returned his attention to Carmen. For the third time, she felt his eyes warming her up.
"I wouldn't mind checking us in some hotel or any other place, but I have reasons not to spend the night out. I hope that's all right with you. If not, then just give me your address and I'll drop you—"
"No. It's fine. Home is fine." The home was hopefully safer too. Hopefully.
The man gave her a nod, never taking his eyes away from her.
Carmen felt the need to slide back into his lap. It felt nice to be there. Her chest pushed against his, her fingers dancing through the silk that was his hair—she couldn't wait to do it all over again. And this time, without having to pause for any unpleasant revelations.
When the door to the driver's seat opened and another unknown man got inside, Carmen recognized him as the chauffeur.
"Can we hold hands?" Carmen blurted out, looking at his large hand lying on his lap. She couldn't even tell why she asked him of such a silly thing--one-night-stand didn't do holding hands, did they?--but the words were out of her mouth before she could help it.
Her acts were officially far ahead of the common need to comprehend them.
But, the man only chuckled. The deep sound he emitted only added to his allure.
"Of course," he replied as he slid her hand into his, and Carmen marvelled at how little her hand appeared in front of his.
The enormity of his palm nearly swallowed her hand.
With a gentle brush of his lips on her knuckle, he whispered. "You're an interesting woman, Ms Price. Very interesting."
* * *
The next morning when Carmen woke up, she was startled to see a small girl no more than three years old staring at her, deep wonder swirling in her lovely green eyes.
"Aunt Will?" the little girl whispered over her shoulder, ignoring the fact Carmen was only faintly awake, and right there. "I think the spell worked." She grinned excitedly. "I now have mommy too."