There were times like these when Carmen wasn't sure what to do with her hands. She wasn't carrying her phone directly in her hand, which was just so unfortunate because it could be used as a way to distract herself or to appear distracted to others.
When Simon's car pulled up at the docks, she had been way too nervous about the media snapping pictures outside to really care about the phone that she had subconsciously slipped into her rhinestone clutch. And due to the lack of it, now she was forced to busy her eyes gazing at the laughing and giggling crowd around them, the champagne bubbling up the glasses and the same glasses being clinked and raised in the air.
Before joining the party on the deck, however, Simon had led her to a room.
"I have a surprise for you," he said to her before turning around and twisting the knob. As the door opened, it revealed the most gorgeous suite she had ever laid eyes on.
The room itself was divided into two floors—a duplex suite. The bottom floor was decked with couches and dining and a private kitchen of its own while the upper one was entirely bedroom space. There was a balcony with enormous glass walls that provided a panoramic view of the water and the sky. Another set of a sitting section outside with a private pool she never thought she needed but seemed such an adorable addition to have.
Carmen had never seen anything quite like it. For a second, she nearly forgot they were on a ship and not at some beachfront apartment. But then again, this setting was so much better, it brought a smile to her face without her even knowing.
A pair of arms had folded around her small waist, gripping her back to reality. When Simon murmured against her ear, his breath was hot and delicious. "Do you like it?"
Oh, yes. Yes, she did. It was impossible not to. "It's gorgeous."
Simon trailed his mouth up the column of her neck while Carmen felt herself easing into his hold and the things he did to her poor, poor heart. "Well, thank God, because it's yours."
Despite every cell in her body wanting nothing more than to let him have his way with her—which unfortunately he hadn't yet, leaving her to quietly worry if he had any plans, either. Not that she had any intentions to confront him about it. It was already as embarrassing as it was—she turned around and looked up at me. "You're not actually suggesting staying here, are you?"
It was so hard to read Simon sometimes. It was frustrating. Then again, she'd be lying to herself if she said that wasn't part of his charm. He was enigmatic and elusive, which intrigued her curiosity and made her want to learn more and more about him. Enough to know that he wasn't anything like Ronin, and that he wouldn't break her heart once his purpose was fulfilled.
Simon dazzled her with a dashing smile. "Surprise?"
Carmen looked utterly confused.
He chuckled, clarifying quickly enough. Although before that, he took her hand and led her towards the balcony. Simon slid the glass wall to the side before asking her to be careful while crossing the threshold. The balmy sea breeze felt stronger than it did when they were on the deck, fierce enough to push her hair to the other side and totally destroy the styling. Carmen would have groaned out in pure irritation if she hadn't been laughing and basking in the feeling of wind and salt on her face.
"Would it really bother you if we stayed here for, say, a few days?"
At the back of her mind, Carmen had anticipated those words coming out of his mouth. She had spotted the banner and heard people mutter on their walk up here. The cruise was expected to be leaving in a short while. What she couldn't figure out was if she was truly comfortable with this so-called surprise.
Yet the first thing out of her mouth was, "I didn't pack."
Simon had no right to look so pleased. Or smug. Or handsome. "Well, I might have taken the liberty of convincing your lovely friend Molly to do it for you."
Carmen's mouth fell open. "Wait, what?" Yet, the shock was short-lived and was quickly replaced by even greater bewilderment. "When did you…how did you…why am I learning about this…now? No. Wait. How did you even convince her? In fact, when? And she agreed?" Wow! There was simply too much for Carmen to catch up on, so she sat down at the nearest lounge chair, fingers running through her now frizzy hair.
Carmen had never made so many hasty decisions in her life, let alone in such a short period of time. It was overwhelming, to say the least. For a split second, she even felt nauseated enough to want to puke. But as she sat there, nibbling on her bottom lip, fiddling with her clutch, the feeling eventually passed and she looked up at him from behind those lush eyelashes.
"I hate to say this, Simon. I truly do, but the fact is that I'm terrified."
Her eyes welled up with tears, but she fought them back, not wanting to make the situation any more dramatic than it already was. She knew it wasn't fair to him, but she couldn't lie to him either. That was the most important promise she had made to herself after her divorce from Ronin, that she would be honest with herself and others about her feelings.
"I'm scared that it's happening too fast." She said to him, having to force the words because of all those timid voices in her head. "I'm scared that you literally came out of nowhere and I don't know how to handle this. You. Sometimes I feel like everything is wrong, that the person I'm trying to be isn't actually me. But then I think about it a bit more and remind myself that in the past, I had lived every moment of my life for the happiness of others. Because the prospect of offending someone had been so terrifying to me since childhood, I let people treat me any way they saw fit. I let them walk all over me. Time and again. Again and again. I gave them the power to hurt me, to take me for granted, and to treat me with contempt. But that's not what I wanted for myself. I don't think anyone deliberately does." Regardless of how hard she tried, tears streamed down her face, one after the other, a steady dribble of tiny diamond-like droplets.
"Sometimes I worry if I'm making the same mistake again, that I'm once again letting others control my life. I'm letting them manipulate me as they wish because I cannot muster up the courage to say no. That it has become a subconscious part of my personality to put myself last—"
"Carmen," Simon said, sitting on the table in front of her and taking her hands in his. "I sincerely apologize if I upset you in any way. My purpose in bringing you here was not to make you think that you're obligated to do as I say." He looked deep into her eyes as if he wanted her to believe every word he spoke, as if it would be devastating if he let this misunderstanding fester between them.
He pushed some curls away from her face. "I have done many things in life, Carmen, I won't lie to you, but tonight my aim was not to control you or take advantage of you in any manner or form. The only thing I had in mind was to make you happy. And if this suite, cruise, or getaway does not make you happy, I will not force you to stay. This is my cruise. It leaves when I say so, and it doesn't when I don't. Do you understand what that means?"
Carmen shook her head, not entirely sure.
He brushed her tears away, studying the expanse of her lovely face which seemed to glow in the moonlight. "That means you still have control over your will. If you want to stay, we will; if you do not, we will not—"
"You can't say that." She knew he wasn't lying, but he couldn't annoy that many people just for her. Her stomach dropped with fear at the prospect that he could even entertain such a ludicrous notion. "There are thousands of people outside waiting for this cruise to leave. You can't do this to them."
"Yes, they are, and it would undoubtedly sour their moods if this cruise were to cancel tonight. But one thing that you don't know, is that I don't give a fuck about those people. Carmen, you're here as my date, and I'll be damned if I do anything tonight that upsets you in any way."
"You'll really do that for me?" She cocked her head to the side, wondering if he was toying with her, for how could it be? It had to be a joke, shouldn't it? Yet the intense look on his face and the invincible sincerity in his eyes led her to believe he was indeed capable of doing something so reckless, that too with so much grace and elegance, no one would ever question his authority. "Or are you just saying that to keep me from making a fuss?"
Simon chuckled, lifting her chin with his index finger and sweeping his thumb across her bottom lip. "Try me."
Carmen didn't have to since something told her he wasn't trying to be funny. Instead, she removed his hand from beneath her chin and leaned back, finally resting against the plush recliner. Another gust of sea breeze swept around her, pushing her hair to fly everywhere.
Her gaze locked on him, playfulness in them. " Who are you, Simon Walsh? You're not real. You simply cannot be. Tell me what planet you are from. I promise your secret is safe with me."
Simon let out a smile of his own before standing back up and straightening his suit, not a single strand of his hair out of place. Probably the perk of having short hair, causing Carmen to be a little envious.
"I don't believe in playing all of my cards at once, Ms Price. What's the fun in that?" He teased, chuckling as he took her back inside and shut the glass door behind them. He turned to face her. "Speaking of which, you still have time to think about it. Choose wisely. I have to address a crew meeting in exactly five minutes, but I'll be back in twenty and ready to hear whatever you've decided. Sounds great?"
Uncertainly once again weighed heavy inside her; the back of her neck prickled. "It's a huge decision to make. I don't think I can—" She tried to reason with him, not wanting to be put in a position of being able to determine the destiny of everyone on board that night. It was a scary thought to have, too much power for someone who was still getting used to trusting herself.
Simon turned around one last time before finally walking out of the door, looking at her as if he knew she could do it. "Maybe that's how you learn, Carmen. That's how you learn to prioritize yourself and choose happiness."