Chereads / Spinsters by choice: A bridgerton Fanfic! / Chapter 24 - Fear is temporary. Regret is forever.

Chapter 24 - Fear is temporary. Regret is forever.

Gertrude sat down in the Struat's drawing room all by herself, gripping her chest as she felt worried over Fabian's wellbeing.

Fabian hasn't left his room ever since Colin left the house earlier in the day, he has locked the room once again and remained there, he didn't ask for anything, not even food or water.

It was the middle of the night, and the elderly woman couldn't retire to bed not when she's sick with worry, "My poor lady...why did you have to die and leave that unfortunate boy behind...I'm afraid he will follow you soon if I don't do something about it, but what can I do! He won't open the door, he wouldn't even respond to me, he is even more stubborn than your husband." She spoke to herself.

Sighing, Gertrude finally rose from her seat.

She decided to tour around the house a bit, hoping a walk would ease her mind.

As she went from room to room, she began thinking about everything that has happened so far.

An idea suddenly came into her head, "Lady Vega! I should ask for her help tomorrow." She said then hurried off to the study room.

As soon as she made it inside, Gertrude walked to the desk, sat in the chair and grabbed a paper and quill.

With the quill now dipped in ink, Gertrude began writing a letter, and once done, she signed her name at the bottom.

She then sealed the letter after putting it inside an envelope, and took the envelope with her, leaving the room.

But on her way downstairs, she found herself face to face with Colin.

Startled, "WHAT ON EARTH?!" She shouted.

"My apologies, how is Fabian doing?" Colin asked.

"When, how...?" Gertrude wanted to ask him what he was doing here but one look at how serious Colin's face was, "Nevermind...young master is still in his room, he never left so I can't tell you for sure how he's doing.

But He still hadn't eaten anything yet, I'm worried since he's not even making a sound in there." She said.

Surprised, "WHAT?!" Colin couldn't believe her.

"Why do you think I'm still awake...I can't stop thinking that he's gotten himself hurt or something! I was so worried I went to write a letter to send tomorrow to lady Vega asking for her help, since she has managed to deal with young master during the funeral." Gertrude replied showing Colin the envelope.

"Miss Gertrude is there a spare key that can unlock Fabian's room?" Colin asked.

"You want to bust in there?!"

"What else can I do?! Like you said he could have hurt himself and we do not know it!"

Skeptical, "There's another key, go wait at his door, I'll bring it to you." Gertrude replied.

As soon as she said that Colin bolted to Fabian's room.

When he arrived, he contemplated whether to try his luck and knock on the door before Gertrude comes with the extra key.

But the elderly woman was faster than he expected her to be, as Gertrude came running and out of breath with a key clutched in her hand.

She gave it to Colin right away, and they both braced themselves as Colin placed the key in its hole and twisted it around, unlocking the door.

He left the key in there and took hold of the doorknob, slowly opening the door with a push.

At first the room seemed empty, Fabian wasn't in his bed nor he was standing anywhere, "Where is he?! I would have known if he left his room?" Gertrude asked confused, but the further they went inside and as Their eyes examined the room, Colin could suddenly see something sticking from behind the other side of the bed.

It was foot, someone was laying on the floor.

Gertrude gasped as she saw it too, and both of them hurried to find Fabian passed out on the ground, an empty bottle of liquor resting in one of his hands.

"Young master!" Gertrude nearly shouted.

Colin hastily knelt to the ground beside his friend, he checked for a pulse and let out a deep sigh of relief when he realized Fabian was alive, but he was still unresponsive.

"I think he fainted because he skipped all his meals, also he was obviously drinking on an empty stomach, that can never be a good choice." Colin said.

"What Should we do?!" Gertrude asked.

"I will put him in the bed, can you bring him something with eggs in it to eat so it can help with the hangover he will experience from all this drinking, I will try to wake him meanwhile." Colin instructed her.

Nodding, Gertrude hurried off to do as told while Colin started to pick Fabian off the ground.

...Few minutes later...

Fabian opened his eyes slowly, his vision was a little blurry at first but after blinking few times, he was seeing more clearly and realized that he was looking at Colin's face.

Looking around, Fabian found himself tucked in his bed, he couldn't even remember how he got there.

"Welcome back, you gave us a big scare." Colin said with a light chuckle.

"Col...what...are you doing here?" Fabian asked, but before he could hear an answer, he gripped on his head, "OW?! WHAT THE HELL!"

"You must be experiencing a seriously bad Headache, good for you, that is exactly what you get for drinking as much as you do on an empty stomach!" Colin scolded him, "I thought you said you would lay off the drinks?! Do you wish to drop dead in your early 30s?"

Sighing, "I am sorry if...I caused you trouble." Fabian replied groggily

"Miss Gertrude and I found you knocked out cold on the floor, I had to carry your heavy arse to your bed." Colin said.

Embarrassed, Fabian covered his face with the bed sheets.

"Do not hide from me, Stop acting like a child Fai." Colin said.

Grunting, Fabian pulled the sheets off his face, "Happy now?" He said frowning.

"Yes, very much! Now sit so we can talk like two grown men."

"You are awfully persistent today, I remember telling you to leave me alone earlier."

"About that..." Colin said.

"I know why you are here, and before you apologize, I should do it first.

I am really sorry for shouting at you, Col.

You were looking out for me, and I behaved ungratefully." Fabian replied.

"You had every right to be mad today, instead of doing my job as your friend and support you during this difficult time of your life, I instead put pressure on you.

We Still have time to worry about finding you a wife, for now you should focus on your grief.

I am sorry as well that I only realized all of this after I left your earlier today, and while I planned to wait Until tomorrow to come apologize, I found myself unable to do so...so I came a short while ago to tell you this." Colin said, he flashed a soft smile that Fabian matched with a smirk.

"You softened as hell ever since you married!" Fabian teased him.

Flustered, "Wait Until you marry too! I bet you would be even softer than I am right now!" Colin replied.

Sighing, Fabian smiled and closed his eyes for a second, "Col...I do not know how to thank you for everything you have done for me, leaving Your family behind in the dead of night to be at my side." Fabian replied.

"You can thank me by taking better care of yourself, you should seriously consider laying off the alcohol, it has become a problem for you." Colin said, "I know, I plan to quit, however I need to find the strength to do so first, and possibly something to replace alcohol for me." Fabian replied.

"I believe in you Fai, I know you can do it."

"Thank you Col."

Suddenly, "Has he woken up?" Gertrude asked as she walked into the room, with a small tray in her hand.

Once Fabian smelled the food she brought, he covered his mouth gagging.

With a serious tone, "Young master I will murder you if you puke in bed." Gertrude threatened him.

...Meanwhile...

Clara was exhausted from all the dancing she did, she ended up falling asleep on the sofa, her head rested on James's thigh as he too fell asleep.

Wolfgang and Safa watched the duo with a smile.

"Tonight was a blessing." Wolfgang spoke-up as he petted Denver who was asleep in his lap.

"Thank you for bringing the Lute." Safa said to Wolfgang.

"You're welcome, I missed the sound of you playing...I was actually afraid you'd be mad at me for bringing the instrument." Wolfgang replied.

"I would have probably if it was not for how happy Clara was when she seen it, she really brought life to this party of four, her and James danced their hearts out."

"They did...and now they're snoring."

"I told James about this while you and Clara were doing the dishes, but I have sent for the modiste to come tomorrow."

"You Booked the modiste to come over?" Wolfgang asked, "Yes, I sent word with another servant...why are you surprised?" Safa asked back.

"You usually tell me to do it..."

"But you were busy sleeping with your man..."

Blushing, "SAFA!" Wolfgang shouted.

"What? Too early to call him yours? Tell me you two at least kissed?" She teased him.

"Stop being invasive!" Wolfgang replied.

"I shall take that as a no."

"SAFA!"

"You will wake them and the dog if you shout any louder."

"Humph." Wolfgang pouted, "Tell me Wolfie, does red suit me better than green?" Safa asked.

"Huh? You mean if you dress yourself in red?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm, I suppose a deep shade of red would probably suit you better than emerald green, but it's a bold choice of color, what brought the sudden interest?"

"James suggested I try crimson red, Clara agreed with him and apparently you do too.

He even suggested I wear something more form fitting but I believe he wanted to say 'Less modest'." Safa replied.

"Well..."

"Wolfie, do not tell me you agree with him?"

Nervous, "Listen, I fully support your freedom of choice...but I know you.

You don't like what you're wearing, you just wear it because it's comfortable, which is not an invalid reason but I do believe it's about time you start living your life a little, you have been wearing the same clothes since... forever...

I heard that adapting a style you actually like could help you feel better, and in my experience, feeling better is one step closer to a better health." Wolfgang said.

"If better health means I will be out of this chair sooner, then I guess I could try...although, how did you know I do not enjoy what I am wearing?" Safa asked.

"I saw how you used to look at Yamei's dresses...I could tell you thought she was too beautiful." Wolfgang replied.

"She was..."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned her."

"All is good, you were just answering my question... besides, you were right, I did like her dresses, especially the red ones." Safa replied smiling.

"Then, Did you avoid asking for red gowns because of her?" Wolfgang asked.

"Maybe....but Green was my brother's color, I wanted to dress in green to feel closer to him, maybe that was my way of repenting for not telling him the truth about Yamei." Safa replied.

"You shouldn't blame yourself for his death, you didn't sink the ship yourself." Wolfgang said.

"But I helped them get on board, Had I said what was on my mind back then, my father, brother and even that pathetic woman he married, would all still be alive today.

Ever since then I have vowed to be as honest as possible." Safa replied.