Finn wasn't next to me when I opened my eyes the following day. It was the first time since I came back. A sharp sigh left me, triggering Solas to lick my cheeks. He had been sleeping so much, but my movements got him up.
I needed to move, yet my body was sluggish to even do so.
I need to find Finn. It doesn't feel right to be alone. Plus… how do I even ask about what I heard? Argh! I fell asleep right after that, too!
I was still in Finn's room, and his scent was still on me. Struggling, I managed to get to the edge of the bed only for everything we had done to drip out of my lady bits.
Ah… You really filled me up so much. It's almost like you want to...
That thought left butterflies in my belly, and I shook my head soon after.
Impossible… You don't care for me in that way. Or can't… if that was real.
I stood up, only to tumble as Solas caught me, allowing me to fall on him.
"Are you okay?" he worried.
My legs are jelly!
"I'm—" I stopped, hearing my voice so raspy.
Every moan and mewl I let out had made it raw.
This demon has had his fun with me! Not that I didn't love every minute. Damn, I'm…
"Fine." I finished, struggling to get steady.
Finn and I had been together without stopping for more than I could remember. I didn't want to stay down.
There's too much at stake.
Finding my footing, I wobbled over to the closet. Picking out one of his shirts to wear, I turned towards the door. The light shining through the windows let me know it was midday.
Is the barrier falling apart? Everything looks fine to me.
A soft hum left my lips as I buttoned up the shirt, which covered up to my knees. Taking a step towards the door, a throb rushed through me. Instead of meeting with the knob, a shadowy figure appeared before me.
Grabbing onto my hand, Finn quickly formed. "Where are you going? You shouldn't be up." he breathed, frowning.
A yelp came from me when he picked me up into his arms. His eyes were gazing at me differently than before. The changes to his horn and wings appeared to be permanent, too.
"I wanted to find you." My voice was so raspy that he winced.
"You need water, sweets." He let me down on the bed before grabbing a jar full of water.
"Whose fault is it?" I huffed.
His eyes widened as a soft smirk rose on his lips.
"Well, I was trying so hard to impregnate you." He leaned into me.
How…. Did you read my thoughts?!
I didn't see when he got a cup in his hand, but it was there.
"Jerk! Don't look without letting me know!" I growled.
Such a liar! I can't get pregnant because we aren't compatible!
"Hush, I didn't look. I just wanted to tease you, and it seems I hit the nail on the head." He whispered, sipping the liquid inside the cup.
A second later, his lips were on mine. Unlike with Soren, I gladly opened, allowing the lukewarm to pour into my mouth and down my throat. It was sweet, almost as if it had honey in it. Tugging away from me, I swiftly followed him.
Why do you take care of me like this? I'll misunderstand everything. Argh, if only I could feel what you do, maybe I'd feel less anxious.
Stealing his soft lips again, I trailed my tongue on his features. A soft hum left him, letting me do as I pleased. His sharp fangs never pierced me, even when I teased them with my tongue. Pulling away for air, a string of saliva was connecting us—one he licked away, triggering me to meet his soft member with mine again.
Even though we had been fucking nonstop, I couldn't help myself from chasing him for more. Grabbing the back of my head, I found myself locked in the passionate kiss that followed. Before I knew it, my back was on the bed. My legs curled around his hips naturally, causing him to tug away from my lips.
His eyes were shimmering brightly as he held himself above me.
"Still haven't had enough?" he trailed his lips down my neck before licking it.
Shivers ran down my spine, making me hold onto him. I wouldn't lose to him, yet my anxiety was growing. His words were…
"If you want to impregnate me. Don't you need to fill me up even more? So much that your seed finds my egg?" I smirked, reaching for my abdomen, which was still tingling.
A gasp left my lips when I felt his fingers trace my slits.
"My seeds are spilling out of you. Any more, and you'll blow." He murmured, pushing his fingers into me.
"Maybe if I can keep them in there." He added with a soft smirk on his lips.
A soft hum left me, enjoying the feeling. I probably appeared like a slut in his eyes, yet I didn't care. Ever since Astred cursed me, my sex drive had gone haywire, and it wasn't the only thing out of order too.
My emotions were a bit harder to control since the bracelet flowered.
Perhaps that's what they mean by unstable. Just what did that succubi do to me?
"More." I mewled, bucking my hips into his hand.
His tail pulled down his pants, continuing to caress my walls with his fingertips.
"You're utterly addicted to my dick, aren't you?" He huffed, tugging his fingers away.
It left me jittery, yet I…
I shook my head, "No, I want only you."
"I didn't say you didn't want me. I'm probably the only one who can satisfy you anymore." He rubbed his fingers on his heat before sliding it in between my slits.
Another hum left me, bucking my hips onto him again.
"I love you, Finn." I cooed, wishing he wouldn't tease me as much.
Those words flowed out of me so easily. I didn't know why he had left me alone, and it probably wasn't good news, but all I wanted was one more moment with him. Even though I was in a frenzy, I remembered Rizak's words from the previous nights.
How long ago was that? My mind feels all fuzzy.
A flood of negative thoughts was surging within me.
What if…
"All we do lately is fuck. You must be confusing love for lust." He softly pressed his tip against my entrance.
He was tempting me in more ways than one. Even after holding me so many days in a row, he still…
I thought I was fine. But… you'll never… All of this is done without any feeling at all. What if you abandon me after everything is set? How will I recover?
It felt like something snapped within me as my emotions took control.
"No! I fell for you before the curse! It's why I asked you to kill me if you didn't feel the same! I've loved you for a long time now!" I felt my voice run cold.
It was still raspy, yet all the warmth from before was leaving me. The curse wasn't running through me anymore, yet it had left its scars.
"Sylvia…" Finn trailed off, gazing at me like he didn't know what to do with me.
I should've been happy that he was willing to hold me. After all, he didn't owe me anything. He had told me from the start that he would never love me, yet my hope raged on, wishing for it to happen.
I want this to be real!
Tears were rolling down my cheeks, "I told you I'd lose, and you already told me loving me is impossible, but I'm getting greedier. So, I'll use my body to keep you with me. I'll do anything to stay by your side!"
Sex seems to be the only thing I'm good at.
Solas was once again asleep, yet something within me was going off. Ever since the bracelet blossomed and the curse, I had difficulty keeping my emotions in check.
"No, baby girl, you don't have to feel like that. I'll stay with you always. I didn't mean it." He promised, slightly pushing himself into me.
A gasp left me. I quickly caught myself, grabbing his arms before he could make a mess of me.
You didn't mean it? Are you having a hard time believing I love you?
"I don't want that alone!" I was short of breath, feeling full of him.
My legs were jittering on his hips as he clasped onto them, filling me to the brim.
"Hush… don't think anymore. Just know, I'll never fucked anyone like I do you." He declared, thrusting himself deeper into me.
Mewls quickly merged with my sobs. It wasn't enough, even though I got exactly what I wanted.
I want your heart, too! I want all of you! Why can't I…
"That isn't the same!" I whined, feeling him fill me up even more.
Yet, out of all the times he had held me, this was the cold I had felt. I usually could shake off my emotions, but they were too much to handle.
Why… Is it because of all the fucking? Did I mistake it for what I'm hoping will happen? No… I'm…
Slamming himself into me, I squealed as he held himself in place.
"Sylvia, it's all I can give you." Finn declared, voice icier than before.
He was shutting it down. The pain that woman made him experience was too much to put aside, which caused me to tense up.
Ah… I'm out of place. You've never lied to me once. Why do I want more than you're willing to give? Was it always this hard to control myself? No… Why… Argh!
Throbs rushed through my body as more negativity continued to flow through me.
Ah… It hurts! I can't even summon my sword anymore! Ever since I came back, I haven't done anything other than fuck. I'm going to be thrown out for how useless I am!
Rizak said the barrier was weakening, too.
I'm just… a pain—no wonder no one cared for me. I'm…
"I'm sorry." I sobbed, glancing away from him.
"Sylvia, I..." he sighed.
"I'm sorry for loving you! For imposing everything you never wanted! I'm sorry for wanting more!" I covered my face, unable to stop what I was feeling.
Why can't I stop this? Just shut up, Sylvia! Just…
I couldn't face him anymore. I didn't know where this burst of emotions came from, but it was uncontrollable.
I never had anything before this. It should be enough, yet I…
"Hush… Don't strain your voice. It'll pass." He voiced, trailing his hand down my hair. "There isn't a single reason for you to apologize. I'm the bad one in this, love."
I sobbed, trying to get a hold of myself.
Everything is too much. Is this what it feels like to weight the world? I… I can't… What's happening to me?
Finn's wings opened wide, catching my eyes back on him.
"I don't know what you want anymore. Do you want me to stay or leave? Please… Just… tell me." His voice cracked as his eyes were frigid.
It stopped my tears in my tracks.
Ah… it must be a drag for you to deal with me.
"Please… stay," I mumbled, unable to stop the pain from radiating through my body.
"Okay," He breathed, thrusting his heat into me again.
A rhythm was quickly placed, leaving me mewling under him. I reached for his cheeks only to be met by his lips crashing on mine. Everything was so confusing. His treatment of me made me forget I was just a means to an end for him.
This sweet demon was consuming my senses and my sanity. Tugging away from him, I gasped for air before he drew me into another kiss. He didn't let me think anymore while I was under him, consumed by his rough fucking.
His mouth kept mine busy, and my mind muffled. Tugging away from my lips, he let me breathe, pushing himself into my core. A yelp left me, feeling him lock me in place with his tail. When his heat began to twitch with me, it sent me convulsing under him.
"Fuck! I'm going to destroy that piece of shit succubus for what she did to you." He cursed, wincing in pleasure.
I could barely keep up as my mind whited out. He hovered over my lips when I returned to reality, appearing lost.
"I care for you, Sylvia. I can't live without you anymore. Yet it isn't the unconditional love you seek, and I can't give you that." He confessed.
It was similar to what he had told Rizak the prior night.
"I..." I trailed off.
A sigh left his lips, "If I could, I'd make you carry my child. That way, you'd always be tied to me. I'm not letting you go, even if you want to, and I'm certainly not holding another. All I want is you."
I shook my head, grabbing hold of his arms. "I just want your heart. I want you to make love to me, not fuck me."
"This heart is yours. I promise. I'm all yours." He assured, pressing his forehead on mine.
From the cold, the warmth was too much for me, yet my feelings were undeniable.
"I love you." The words slipped so naturally that I didn't realize when I said them.
Finn's eyes scrunched up, leaning into my lips. "You're my most important jewel, Sylvia."
A kiss soon followed, leaving me humming under his touch. No matter how much I pushed his heart, it remained close to me. I was a thing for him to keep happy—something I didn't want at all. Yet, at the same time, I realized if I wanted him to ever open up to me.
I had to stop being a tool, yet I lacked everything I needed. The emotional storm was slowly passing, but what caused it was growing bigger without anyone realizing it.