Chereads / The Shadows Within Me / Chapter 55 - Chapter 55: The Potion

Chapter 55 - Chapter 55: The Potion

The following day, I woke up in Finn's arms. Groggily, I shifted my gaze to meet his face, only to see him with his eyes closed. We were both bare in the bed, yet I could only focus on his face.

I would've thought you were sleeping. Well, if you hadn't told me, demons don't sleep at all. What's a world without dreams?

Slowly, I reached for his cheek to see his eyes open before meeting with my hand and tugging it to meet with his lips.

"Awake?" he hummed.

I nodded softly before pulling myself up to meet with his lips. They were as soft as always and ready to accept me. A short, sweet kiss followed, leaving me tingling inside. Unable to help it, I got closer to the demon who wrapped his tail around my waist.

Drawing my lips away from him, I smiled, shifting my eyes to his chest.

"Finn…" I mumbled, cuddling myself into him.

"What happened, sweetheart?" he asked.

I hummed, feeling him trail his fingers down my curves.

"I like saying your name," I confessed, shifting my eyes back to meet his gaze.

I saw his cheeks turn pink there before he slowly shook his head.

"You're going to make my heart flutter so early in the morning?" he huffed, biting his lip.

"Hm… Maybe." I smiled, leaning on him.

It wasn't long until his lips met with mine again.

This demon is... No, Fin's something else I never expected ever to meet.

He had his psychotic moments, but I couldn't help wondering if the curse was gone and if he would still have those moments. Solas yawned from where he slept when I was pinned to the bed under the demon king.

The kiss didn't stop until I felt his heat press against my intimate lips, which were dying to have him bury himself into them. When he held me, there was no more discomfort. No, all I felt was the pleasure of our union.

Clasping my hands in his, I felt him smile before he pulled away from our kiss.

"I'm going to make you unable to live without me. A normal human life won't be enough for you." He cooed, eyes glowing blue.

"It's already not enough," I assured him, getting jittery.

Finding a cooling breath to soothe my mind whenever I was with him was hard.

"Good… I'm going to mold you to my shape." He smirked, reaching for his cheek.

Ah… I don't care if you change me. I mean, you already did when you made me want to live for something. So, anything from you can't be bad, especially how you make me feel.

Even as the days began to pass, that feeling didn't change. No, it grew more prominent with each moment we spent together, and my days weren't any less busy. Rizak quickly got me back to my lessons as Finn usually found his way to me whenever he could, and what followed usually was passionate and behind closed doors.

However, it never happened in my lessons, and the owl didn't hold anything back. He quickly explained how my magic managed to break through the madness. Even though he had been studying my potion, he didn't know what made the difference.

At first, he didn't go into it, allowing me to try and replicate the potion I made, but it never worked. As the weeks went by, none of them could bring anyone back. While that marinated, Brielle started to train me to steel my body, which left me sore in ways I never thought I would be.

She didn't give me a break, as no matter what happened, I always stood up and continued forward. The pain was something I was used to, which didn't stop me from pushing myself. Before I knew it, the weeks turned into months, and I found myself in a new routine.

However, it was apparent that Rizak was avoiding the topic of the potion. With each failure, it wasn't long until he…

"We can't see to replicate it, which probably has to do with the intention you had when you made it. Any ideas on what it was, m'lady?" Rizak asked, leaving me in the spot.

By then, I still hadn't told anyone what I felt when I made their miracle cure, which wasn't permanent. After ingesting the potion, the demon reverted when he couldn't feed, thanks to the barrier's strength. As time passed, the food source for many demons within Fathal dwindled, turning many into rampaging beasts.

This made them easier pickings for the knights within Traedan, but at the same time, they were unpredictable. Some had even started to move in packs out of instinct alone. The chaos within Fathal kept Finn away more than I liked, which meant the castle grounds were the only safe place for me.

My nose was mostly stuck in books while I waited for my artifact to be made, so it never occurred to me to leave the castle grounds. It seemed, but the moment that question rose, I could only gaze away from Rizak.

Ah… I'm… there isn't any reason to lie, yet…

"I wanted an escape," I mumbled, biting my lip.

Will you judge me like all the others?

"An escape? What do you mean?" he queried, narrowing his eyes.

"I wanted—" I quickly stopped, feeling a presence I had come to adore.

It had been almost a full day since I had last seen him. Thanks to our intimate connection, kissing was no longer required daily. My nights were usually full of him, but he was gone, leaving me unsure where he had been.

Rizak quickly gazed toward his king, noticing him, too.

"Did I interrupt anything?" Finn asked, stepping towards me.

This was a saving grace, yet I couldn't help but feel ticked off by his presence. A sigh left my lips, getting up to meet his icy gaze.

"Nothing at all. Where have you been?" I huffed, narrowing my eyes at him.

 

He let out a soft chuckle, "The generals have been having a hard time keeping their domains in check. I had to go and quell the masses."

Keeping a country full of demons happy is more complicated than I can comprehend, but can you come more often?

Even though my body was sore from Brielle's training, which occurred only three times a week, I still missed his presence.

I rolled my eyes. "I see."

Every time he met with them, the look in his eyes always got colder. They erased everything I did, especially when he met them when I wasn't there. However, the parts that had turned purple still were.

"Is that anger I sense, Sparky? Did you miss me that much?" he asked, smirking.

I felt like throwing the bottle in my hands at him. However, before I could, Rizak brought my attention back to him.

"I'm sorry, m'lord, but I need Lady Sylvia to answer my question." The owl shook his head.

It was almost like he knew I wanted to avoid the question. I mean, I had been this entire time. Finn gazed back at me, making my heart feel heavier.

I don't want…

"I…" I trailed off, shaking my head.

A soft whine came from Solas, pressing his paws on my belly. "It's okay. You don't have to say a single thing."

The little pup had been on my lap the entire time, his favorite place while I was in Rizak's study. Finn reached for my cheek, triggering me to gaze at him.

"What happened, sweets? Is something wrong?" He asked, trailing his fingertips on my skin.

A sharp sigh left me.

I don't want you to know how much of a coward I am. Yet… I don't want to lie to you; it isn't like you didn't know how I was before I got here.

"I wanted an out if things didn't go right with you. That's why I made that potion." I finally answered.

"So, you intended it to be a poison for yourself?" Rizak asked, unaware of how it sounded.

All this owl wanted was to understand how I did it. There wasn't anything malicious about his words, yet…

"Yes, I…" I trailed off, feeling a familiar aura erupt from Finn.

My eyes quickly found their way toward the demon king, who was radiating a deep red color.

"Hah… Is that how you intend to escape me?" He rasped, eyes shimmering towards his demonic side.

Ah… I…

"No, I…" I trailed off, feeling my voice quiver a bit.

I never thought his rage would be directed at me again. This time, he wasn't confused by the curse but genuinely bothered by those words. It was much like when we had shared that moment in the bathroom.

How do I… even… explain it?

"M'lord, this—" Rizak tried to intervene.

"Silence!" Finn snapped.

A second later, the owl was nowhere to be seen. The demon aura was growing thicker with each passing second. I had to fix it, yet my voice failed me. The change of emotions in his eyes froze me.

"You think I'll let you escape that easily?" he questioned, cocking his head.

His eyes, instead of showing pure rage, glossed as he winced as if something had stabbed him.

No… I don't… want to—

Again, my voice failed to come out.

"You're mine, Sylvia—the most priceless jewel in my hoard." He hissed, pinning me against a bookshelf.

His voice was cracking as if it were in the same knots mine was. I never knew he could sound like that.

Ah… I'm such a fool.

"Stupid…" I mumbled, slowly reaching towards his dark red shirt.

His aura grew upon hearing my assessment of him.

"What?" he muttered.

If this pain that was being reflected came from losing me as an individual or as a tool, I didn't know.

But I wish it was because of what I mean to you.

My voice quickly found me.

"Stupid dragon, that happened before I got to know you!" I erupted, facing him head-on.

It caused his eyes to open wide.

"Of course, I wanted to escape back then! I thought I was trapped by another man who only wanted to use me! What do you expect?! I was willing to jump out of a building before I came here!" I held nothing back.

Though… back then, I also hesitated. I have always wanted to live but never had a reason to. Now… I… have too many.

In an instant, his red aura disappeared.

"I didn't know anyone here, and I was scared shitless! I didn't want to be used so one-sidedly again! So, yeah, I made poison to get out, or I thought I was." I sighed, shaking my head.

I'm supposed to be the angry one here! I haven't seen you in a whole day! This isn't how I wanted things to go! Argh, when do they ever go my way when it involves you?

"Instead of that, I guess I made a stupid cure for demon madness while trying to off myself! I don't know if I can do it again because I don't feel that way anymore! Don't arrive at conclusions by yourself!" I declared, tightening my grip on him.

Stupid demon king!

"Sylvia," he called out as his eyes returned to the beautiful blue I was used to.

They were still cold, yet…

If… I'm going to be honest; I might as well…

"Now, I just want to be with you, but I'm just scared you'll throw me out for being useless." My voice quivered, clasping onto my shirt.

It triggered him to clasp onto my cheeks.

"That'll never happen." He reassured me, triggering my eyes to sting as I flung myself to bury my face in his chest.

His warmth was seeping into me, giving me all the comfort every ache of my body needed.

"If you say so," I mumbled, holding onto him.

A soft sigh left him, "I'm sorry."

Those words…

"Since when do demons apologize? Where's the rough makeup sex instead?" I huffed, shifting to meet his gaze.

A nervous chuckle left Finn, who gripped my hair before softly trailing it. "You never say anything normal, do you, Sparky?"

"That'd be boring." I giggled.

"You little vixen," Finn smirked as his tail quickly hooked on my pants.

A small yelp left me because of the suddenness of it all.

"Shall I—" the demon king stopped, hearing the owl cough behind him.

Crap! We aren't alone!

A soft squeal left me noticing Rizak had returned from where Finn had sent him. He had mud all over his feathers, scowling at the demon lord, who was back to normal. The poor owl also didn't seem pleased by what he found brewing in his study.

The disappointment in Finn's eyes was enjoyable, thanks to our interruption.

This demon really wants me.

"M'lord, may I ask you not to do courtship here? Please, take your merry-making to your respective rooms." Rizak chided, releasing a sigh soon after.

"Sorry," I mumbled, but I clashed with him before I could pull away from my demon lord.

His lips found mine before his tongue traced them. In an instant, I let him in, allowing my soft member to touch his for a second before I remembered we weren't alone. I went to pull away but was quickly stopped when Finn grabbed the back of my head.

That was when I noticed Rizak was gazing towards the side. There was someone there, but I could see who it was. I hadn't expected the kiss to be so forceful, yet I couldn't find it in me to hate it. When the demon king pulled away from me, he left a trailing blaze on my lips as my lungs filled with fresh air.

My thoughts were all muffled, thanks to his affection.

"Finn, w-what—" I was quickly interrupted by his lips.

Another forceful, feverous kiss followed, weakening my knees and causing him to hold me up by my waist. When he opened his eyes, they were pure red as his aura was thicker than before.

Why… I thought…

Tugging away from me, he licked my lips, "I have to go. Be a good girl and stay here with Rizak." He announced, taking a step away from me.

"M'lord, I suggest caution. Something isn't right here. Why would that man come again after being defeated?" The owl sighed, shaking his head.

Huh? Who?

The change in mood was too sudden for me to keep up. At one moment, we were flirting, and now Finn was ready to kill someone. Before he could get away, I grabbed onto his cloak.

"Wait! Did something happen? Please, take me with you!" I tugged on it, triggering him to gaze back at me.

Don't leave me behind, please…

That was when I noticed Brielle, also in a bad mood, by the door. We rarely interacted other than for our brief sessions, but I could tell she always wore a stone-cold expression from them.

"No, stay here," he sighed.

"But…" I mumbled.

"You'll be on the way rather than help. You can barely keep up with me even with your sigils active." Brielle huffed from where she was.

"Hey!" I huffed, "It isn't my fault your stamina is unlimited."

Finn shook his head, "No, Sylvia. She's right, you have to stay. I'm not risking anything happening to you."

Aches in my chest arose, making me wince as I turned away from him.

How unfair… I'm trying to keep up! Why won't you…

A soft growl came from me, turning away from him. "Sorry for being useless."

I knew they were right. They couldn't take care of me always, and it wouldn't be safe where they went. Even so, I never expected…

"You aren't—Hah, I don't have time to make you feel better, Sparks. I have to go." Finn shook his head.

His words were like a dagger to my heart.

Ah… I'm just a burden to you.

"Yes, I'm sorry you're wasting time for someone like me. You should go." I gibbered, tugging away from him.

My eyes stung when a click of his tongue was all I heard before he disappeared, leaving me feeling hollow. I expected him to say something back, but to receive nothing in return made me feel even worse.

Will I ever be anything worth staying for? No, I'll never amount for anything! You'll always leave me behind when it counts!

I heard Rizak call for me when I stormed out of the study. My emotions were going haywire as shadows erupted from my body on the way to my room. I threw my bag on the bed and walked toward the mirror in the room.

Why doesn't anyone want to stay with me or take me with them?

I didn't even notice when tears started to beam down my cheeks.

"Sylvia, are you okay?" Solas whined behind me.

"No, I'm not. This stupid demon king has my heart, and I don't know what to do." I mumbled, pressing my hand on the mirror.

My magic flowed into it, causing cracks to form. I wanted to prove them all wrong. Even though he said he wouldn't throw me away, he wouldn't include me in his world the way I wanted to if things were like this.

Will I always be a failure and nothing more? This isn't fair! I want to be more! How can I…