"He's had enough William," said I to the waiter whose name is embroidered on a stylish cursive on the front pocket of his suit. Thankfully, it's not written in French. He was about to pour the fourth glass of wine for Larry when I stopped him. Larry's face has turned pinkish-red but he can still manage himself very well.
The Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven is being played on the piano and it stirs all sense of pretentiousness in the room. Music can't be calculated and can't be measured it can only be felt. And it made sure its presence is felt by anyone who seeks to listen.
A tranquil symphony flows in the air and I'm swept away by its tour de force.
"You like music very much, don't you?" Asked Larry as he emptied his glass of wine.
"Music is the ultimate form of existence Larry"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Close your eyes"
"Okay?"
"What do you see?"
"Nothing..."
"Now imagine the Molave tree and the river where it draws its strength from. Imagine the moonlight reflected on the still surface of the river as the wind blows ever so softly on the undergrowth and the cold evening sky blankets the nearby canopy."
"It's beautiful Florante..." said he with eyes still closed.
"That's what I meant when I say that music is the ultimate form of existence. Everything that there was, there is and there will be, music has seen them all."
He opened his eyes and said "I want to play for you..." then he walked towards the piano at the far corner of the restaurant. He sat at the foot of the instrument and winked at me stupid as he can be.
He's drunk and drunk people tend to do stupid things. I'm scared for what's gonna happen next.
He stretched his arms, pulled back his sleeves and started playing.
Larry playing the piano is a sight to behold. He closed his eyes completely submerged to the music he's producing. His fingers trace each chord perfectly through muscle memory. The halls in the restaurant laid witness to the ultimate form of existence manifested in every note that Larry and the piano produced. Everybody who has ears to listen listened. Larry is a huge box of surprises and I can't help but want to know more of what else is up on his sleeves.
I don't particularly know the name of the music piece he is playing but music has the power to speak words that the human language can't. It has the power to touch the deepest and the most guarded secrets that our hearts conceal.
Larry playing the piano revealed something about me.
I'm afraid to have found out that every inch of my skin, every bone, every breath, every thrum of my beating heart is falling deeper and deeper in love with him and it scared me because I don't do too well in love. Everyone that I loved died or left. All along, I thought that nobody would be able to bring back the life that I once had, worse, change its course. For all I know, I'm just an empty vessel waiting for my turn to die but Larry always makes me feel that I can be more.
The room exploded in applause after Larry played the piano and I'm proud that his eyes befell on nobody but me, the most undeserving of all the people in the room.
The waiter ushered us with his calculated steps as we walked outside of the French Riviera. The night is still young and the cold breeze of the summer air swifts the leaves of the nearby pine trees. We walked side by side as we approached his car that was parked on the opposite side of the road.
The moon peeks from the clouds and the sky glitters with a myriad of stars in the Milky Way.
I drove the car on our way back and brought Larry to my escape place by the cliff. We haven't talked much since we left the restaurant.
We shut the door behind us and breathe the cold summer air.
"This is where I stay when I want to clear my head..." I fished out a cigarette from my pocket.
We sat on the rear end of his pick-up watching the stars in the night sky. I lit a cigarette and took a long drag because I needed to feel light-headed.
"So what do you think about the music I played?"
I watched the cigarette burn inch by inch as its smoke dissipated into the atmosphere.
I took another drag.
"It's beautiful Larry, you're beautiful..."
I can feel his eyes fixed on me. But I can't look at him this close. I'm afraid of the things I could do when I see Larry's eyes closer than it has to be.
"It's Für Elise by Beethoven. He composed that song in honor of his former student whom he fell in love with. The love was unrequited though..."
He stared at the rocky edge of the cliff not wanting to meet my eyes.
"When you closed your eyes earlier, what do you see Florante?"
He moved closer to me and our shoulders touched. Chills run through my body when our skin brushed briefly.
"Why do you ask me this?"
"Because I ought to know...because I need to know..."
Larry is brave and expressive.
I wish I am.
"It's getting late, Larry...we gotta go now..."
I stand up to stay away from him, from what I feel when he's close to me, and from what I feel when I didn't see him close to me for the past three weeks.
He followed me and closed the gap between us.
He held me at the back of my shoulders.
"Ask me Florante what I see when I close my eyes before I sleep at night when I close my eyes while I played Für Elise...ask me..."
I can feel all my common sense abandoning me.
"What do you see Larry?"
Tears escaped from the corners of his eyes when he said " It's you whom I see, Florante it has always been you..."
"You should not say that. You don't know me too well. I'm a monster Larry, I'm cursed. Everyone that's close to me dies or leaves. I've been running away from everyone for as far as I can remember...until I met you."
"Then don't run anymore Florante. Stay with me. Don't you think I did not try to run away from everyone as well?"
"I ran away from my previous life in the U.S because I can't seem to have the people around me accept who I am. At some point, we really have to run away from something until we realize that the very thing that we are afraid of, is the thing that we are meant to be. And I'm meant to be here with you Florante. If I haven't run back then, I would never have found you."
"We won't last forever. People will judge us. People will stand against us. People will try and break us apart. Don't you understand that?"
I stared at the ground trying to hide my tears away from him.
He pulled me closer, lifted my chin and peeked through my eyes.
"Then let them be! Forever does not exist, Florante. What exists is 'now' and what we do about it. I cannot love you in the past and I don't know if I will still love you in the future. But I love you now, and this 'now' that we have can't exist forever so I'm telling you I love you because I wanna freeze this moment. And when I grow old I'd look back to this point in time when I stand with you under the light of a million stars unafraid to live, unafraid to love..."
My tears had finally escaped and it feels better when I let them go.
"It's up for you to stay or run-away...I'll respect that...it just pains me every time I see you being too hard on yourself...you can share your pain with me Florante. You're not alone. I'm right here."
He touched my face and wiped my tears with the tip of his thumb.
"Where else should I go, Larry? Where else should I go but here with you under the light of a million stars, unafraid to live unafraid to love...."
I held his hand on my face and pressed it against my lips on an enduring kiss.
He smiled at me and for the first time, our eyes were both truly seeing each other.
I smiled back unafraid.
He kissed me from my forehead, down to my nose and then to my lips.
Larry's lips feel supple and his breath is sweet.
I snaked my hands on his waist and caressed him there. I can feel our bodies tensed until we exploded into a hot and fearless kiss. We kissed and we kissed and we kissed to our hearts' content. We separated for a brief moment and gave each other a gentle peck on the lips.
We held-hand as we stood by the cliff overlooking the city lights.
"I LOVE YOU FLORANTE MENDOZA..."
He screamed and his voice echoed through the invisible sheath of the night.
"I LOVE YOU, EVEN MORE, LARRY DAVIS"
We both laughed and kissed each other again; softly, recklessly.
I sat on the rocky edge of the cliff with Larry leaning on my chest. The gaps in our hands fit perfectly like they're made for each other.
Tonight, I was reborn and somehow I know that I will never feel alone again.