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Your Typical Reincarnation

mrnoon
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chs / week
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2.5k
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Synopsis
Josh Dickinson is just an ordinary office worker, or not? No partner, pressure from debt collectors that made him ambitious for money. When he gets home from work in the afternoon, like any other cliché, he gets hit by a truck and boom, he wakes up in a room and a figure staring at Josh.
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Chapter 1 - Ordinary Day

The sound of typing spread throughout the room, the sound of conversation. A man stood up from his stool and stared at the vast window in front of him, the darkness of the night felt strange, even though he was used to staying late.

A man with a zesty walk approached Josh's desk, his gaze focused on his smartphone.

"Josh, the assignment need to be completed, the manager said he needs it for-"

Josh stared at the window, ignoring his coworkers and shouting in his heart of hearts "THIS IS NOT THE LIFE I WANT, NO GIRLS, NO FACE, NO FUCKING 12 INCH DICK, NO MONEY, GOD HELP ME!" Josh turned to his coworkers with a tired and empty face.

"You good Josh? You look glum, Cheer up a bit" With a grin that was clearly visible on his face.

"I'm fine, I just need some time to-"

Josh's sentence was cut off, followed by a cold "Josh, what do you need time for? Just focus on your work." As he walked away from Josh, "Idiot" he whispered. 

__ _

The dark and quiet office made Josh comfortable, the sound of shitheads and pressure was no longer heard, Josh picked up his bag and went to his house with mixed feelings, annoyed by the cursing of coworkers, and happy that this damn day was over.

Thinking about the debts piling up, the life I'm living is kind of annoying, my last friend is now in a different country, my parents don't care about me now, they don't even ask about my condition, dammit.

While walking home I 'accidentally' stared at the girl with the unique ass, with her skinny body how did she have such a big ass? Are the vitamins, nutrients and fats all in her ass?

While thinking about the woman's ass, I ignored the horn of the speeding truck, aiming at me who was on the sidewalk, which was reasonably impossible, what are the chances of this happening, what the hell did I do in my previous life?

__ _

I woke up in a room like a workshop and saw a figure covered in white smoke sitting in the center of the room.

"Dude you look so fire, literally" I said in a teasing tone, forgetting the fact I got hit by a truck earlier, am I an idiot?

"Josh Dickinson, welcome, you have quite a unique name." The figure looked like he was holding back laughter, he whispered with his desire to laugh "Gaylord, Dickinson, Titsworth, Cockburn, and Woodcock, how dare they give their children such names." He said with a giggle.

"Atleast I have a dick." Josh said as he examines the figure's characteristic.

No clothes, no dick, no facial hair, all white, only glowing eyes and mouth, this creature is either a cosplayer who saved me in an accident or a holy being that appears when someone dies, well of course the second answer is quite reasonable in this situation.

The figure cleared his throat and he stood looking down at Josh, he shakes his head "A person died from focusing on a woman's ass, it suits you Mr. Dickinson."

I'm forgetting the fact that I died because I was hit by a truck, but let's not focus on the woman's weird ass, does it make sense that I died like that, hit by a truck on the sidewalk?

"I brought you here to give you another chance Josh, it's a bit stupid to call it death, I'll send you to another world, how about it?"

"I don't know, but there must be an hidden purpose, this opportunity is too big to give away for free, right?"

"As expected, the person who focused on the ass at the end of their life are very sensitive, I just want entertainment."

This person is always throwing irritating words, I'm annoyed but who wants to miss this opportunity? Maybe I'll meet beautiful elves and fairies in another world? Maybe I'll have a romantic partner, right?

"Alright, even though you're an annoying perso- I mean an annoying existence, COME TO ME OVERPOWER SKILL!"

The figure looked at Josh with pity, he continued "Josh, I mean Mr. Dickinson, what are you yapping about?"

"Like in the comics, don't people who will reincarnate will be given overpowering powers such as skills that can control one's mind and so on."

"Mr. Dickinson, you don't know yourself, you've been given a great opportunity and want more of it? Or should I send you straight to hell?"

Shit, I'd rather die by being killed by monsters than go to hell, but I'm feeling sad, will I be sent to hell after I die, I feel like I've been doing good(?) all my life, but seriously?

"Please, whatever it is, the all-knowing, the all-powerful, the existence of goodness itself."

The figure was considering something while drumming the floor with his fingers.

"Whatever, I want to send you to hell, but I feel bad for you, your death is too ridiculous." The figure clapped his hands, then a system screen appeared in front of me and a text appeared.

 

[ Penis Size : 2 Inches (Current) ]

 

This bastard, he seems to be doing it on purpose, but if I refuse it looks like he's going to send me to hell, penis size huh? Can I use it as a sword in my adventures if I have a long and big penis?

I set it at the maximum length, 12 inches, with this I can even kill people. 

After I adjusted the size of my penis, he looked at me with a teasing face, he definitely wanted to say "It suits you Mr. Dickinson"

I don't forgive this guy, but talking about him I've been talking to him for a while now but why didn't the question "What is this person?" I already think he's a holy existence or the equivalent of a god, should I ask?

"What are you?"

"You can consider me a god, my name is Buttcocks, I haven't introduced myself have I? So you will accept my offer or not?"

The person who was insulted people who have the names Titsworth, Gaylord and so on actually has the name Buttcocks, huh?

but a god with a name like that? Was he joking? Looks like I have to pretend to laugh.

"Ha ha, so funny, you got me."

"Don't insult my name, damn human."

Turns out that's really his name, I feel bad, I should change the topic otherwise I will be sent to hell by him.

"Looks like everything is done, right? What next?"

"You will be sent to a new world, try to be a better person, see you in your next death Mr. Dickinson."

He snapped his fingers, then looked at me with a face full of hope, of course the hope that he would be entertained when watching me like anime, but was his goal really just for entertainment?

Suddenly the room started shaking really fast and I fell to the floor, damn it, can he send me cool? Like from the sky and I landed in a hero pose.

Then I woke up in the middle of a jungle, so beautiful and calm, the thing that comes to my mind is... Is this really reincarnation like in the comics?

If, like in the comic, I should be reborn in the body of a newborn baby, or I wake up in someone else's body, but it's still my same body, this is called throwing someone into another world, not reincarnation, but I will consider it reincarnation, it's a bit annoying, but what else can I do?

"I will miss R*blox"

That's were the first words I said when arrived in this world.