The resplendent light engulfed everything around me, nullifying all my senses, disorienting me greatly. It didn't feel like this was my own body, all the pain I felt just moments before was gone, with the fatigue and tiredness that I carried nowhere to be found. One had to know that just moments before, I had burnt my life force, and the energy that came from that was all used up. By all means, I should be dead.
'Is this suppose to happen once you die?'
But not long after, little by little, my senses started to return. The ringing in my ears faded, and my vision came back. As my senses returned, I prepared myself for the backlash I would received. But the pain never came, and neither did fatigue or exhaustion.
I stood there, in the middle of a room unbeknownst to me, and expected to continue the fight. It took only a second to scan everything around me, from the bed to the small desk at the corner and a computer. There was no danger in sight, yet.
Something they had in common was that all of them were careful to the extreme. Always checking our surroundings without question, as there was always a hidden threat, and it only took a single mistake to kiss your life good bye. It was not just luck that they had managed to survived many years though hell and back. Survival came first and foremost, then everything else after. Years after years, it just became second nature, almost like breathing.
Taking control of my body and surroundings again, I took a deep breath and steadied myself.
The door to the room was closed, but had an opened window, with fresh air coming through it. It was a serene moment of tranquility, something very contrasting to what he was used to. There was really no dangers close to his vicinity whatsoever. But contrary to the calm in the air, it was nothing but within him. One had to know that just seconds ago, he was having the fight of his life, and his companions, which he had seen them died in battle.
'Is this an illusion?'
I clenched my fists, and checked that all my strength was gone. My mana was nonexistent, and my weapons had vanished, along with my armor. My clothes were different, and new. I was wearing simple blue jeans and a white t-shirt, but it looked brand new, something he had not seen in years. As I was checking all the abnormalities, something caught my eye, something I had for many years and had taken it for granted as part of my body, the bracelet. It was turning to dust little by little, until it ceased to exist.
I stood there, shocked and frozen. Something that had saved my life countless times, had just vanished in front of his eyes. It triggered the moment Kate also turned to ashes, since it seemed very similar. It felt like being stabbed right in the heart, and the avalanche of emotions flooded right after. The tears started to fall while I clenched my teethes, and my gaze clouded as her face came to mind. Her smiling face as she stared at me in her final moments, it was imprinted right to my very soul. How her beautiful hair fluttered in the wind, and her gaze, calm as still water, as she stared at me even in the face of death. It was only one second, but to me it felt like that moment lasted an eternity.
All that powerlessness and frustration, all that sadness and anger, all that helplessness and how useless I felt, had been bottle up. And now, unable to contain my emotions that I had lived in that precise moment, it all exploded.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I let everything go as my defenses crumbled. The tears came down without stopping, and the pain in my chest felt stronger and stronger. The faces of my friends came as well, Albert, Dimitri, Luis, Chris, and many more, but Kate hurt the most. I had seen them died, and I couldn't do anything about it. I was useless.
"Waaaaahhhh..."
I have lost that one thing that kept me standing, my pillar of support. Kate was my everything, my reason for existence. Her beautiful smiling face was all that my mind could think at this moment.
I have fought for many years, without flinching, without faltering, always moving forward. I have lost many important people in my life, but I still kept on going. Today, for the very first time, I crumbled. The strength in my knees gave up, and I fell. I felt a crack in my heart at that moment, and I just wanted one thing, for all to be over. All I wanted now was for it all to end, the sadness that run throughout my body right now was something I never felt before.
Right now, nothing mattered. If there were monsters closed to him, it didn't matter. If by any chance there were more survivors, it didn't matter. Right now, life itself did not matter.
"Bang!"
The door to the room opened hard and hit the wall as a little girl rushed in. She looked flustered as she observed inside, but she could only see him crying, hunched over with his head on his hands.
"Wh-what's wrong?" She approached cautiously to his side, trying to make heads or tails of the situation. She was trembling and scared as she kneeled by him and tried to gently touch his back.
"Brother...?"
"Wh-what's wrong brother?"
Tears started to arise in her eyes as well. It was the first time in her life that she had seen him like this. But for some reason, deep within her, It felt like something had to be done, she just didn't know what. And along with her brother, she started crying.
"Waaaahhhh..."
"Waaahhh..."
She hugged him and called his name countless times, but nothing seemed to get through to him.
They cried and cried, getting everything out of their system.
As time passed, they eventually calmed down little by little. She stared at him with puffed cheeks and red eyes from the crying. He didn't look hurt or anything, the computer was turned off, so it was not something he saw there, and his cell was not visible, so she was not sure if he got some kind of sad news or something.
She was worried because it just didn't seem normal. She hugged him, shook him, and even punched him on his arm, and he just wouldn't react. It felt like his body was here, but not his soul, and when she would stare into his eyes, they felt like black holes that would swallow her up in a world of sadness. No matter how much she stared at him, he looked broken, and soulless. She stayed by his side for a couple of hours, until eventually someone came.
"I'm Hooome!"
A lady's voice could be heard entering the house.
"MOOOOOM!" Rushing to her, the little girl embraced her. "There's something wrong with my brother!!" By then, she was already crying again, and sniffing.
"What? Your brother? What happen to him?" The lady kneel and hugged her. "Don't cry ok? everything is ok." She gently wiped the falling tears from her tender cheeks with her hand. "Lets go see your brother ok? Don't cry baby, everything's ok."
"Sniff..." With the reassurance from her mom, she nodded. "Ok."
With that, the lady went to his room with the little girl in tow. She looked at him and everything in the room, not noticing anything out of order, anything but him. He was still on the floor and looked like a mess.
"Anthony?"
She approached him gently, and rubbed his back.
"What's wrong honey? Can you tell me?" She looked at him worried. "Honey?"
"He's been like that for hours, but nothing I did worked either."
"What? That long?"
"Yeah, he scared me at first, he screamed really, really loud."
Concern in her eyes, she looked at him from head to toe, checking to she if he was injured anywhere. She touched his legs and torso, but everything looked normal.
"Anthony, what happen?" She touched his cheek, but his temperature was normal as well. He just looked like a deflated balloon, and soulless. He just wouldn't react to anything at all.
"Here, lets get you to bed, get a small rest first." She supported his body with hers and pushed him to bed.
"Let me help." The little girl helped with his other arm.
They both struggled a little, but eventually put him nicely to bed. They stared at him with concern, but there was nothing they could do.
"Lets let him rest for a bit."
"But mom..."
"Lets cook a delicious dinner to help him cheer up ok? Maybe that could help."
"Ok." The little girl nodded, regaining some vitality.
The lady gave one last glance at him from the door, and gently closed it, leaving him alone to rest.
Even though a tremendous event had happen to him, and the experiences he just felt were traumatic, his body was young and energetic. His body, full of vitality and energy, slightly recovered, but his mind was still a mess. It felt like he was swimming in clouds, and he was wandering his memories and past events, especially the last battle. From the moment it started till it ended, and then he would resume it again from the beginning.
Even though the sadness that overwhelmed him were the strongest so far, in the end, it was just more sadness. One more scar to the many that he had accumulated across the years, something he was very well used to by now. There were some that said, "time will heal all wounds." or "with time, everything will be alright." He himself said it a couple of times, but now he knew, it won't. This one particular scar, it cut deep, really deep, and it will never be erased.
He felt stimulus from the 'outside' but didn't bother to pay attention to it. It didn't matter if such action could possibly could cost him his life. Right now, he just didn't care about anything. Everything felt numb, the ringing in his ears silence everything around him, and his vision was clouded, unable to see even what was right in front of him. He didn't had the notion of time as he lay there, but eventually, his vision returned little by little.
He stared right to the wall, as he laid on his side on the bed, and noticed that little by little, it turned brighter. The sun was rising, and light came through the window, lighting up the dark and gloomy room. He turned to the other side and stared at the sky, it was cloudless. It had been ages seen he had seen such beautiful scene, and the heat from the outside reached him, warming him up.
Back when he was with his comrades, the clouds wouldn't dissipate, which in turn everyday turned colder and colder. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. The last year was especially colder, if it wasn't that they had strengthen body and mana, they would have died just from that. So this was a welcomed changed.
I forced myself to sit on the bed to stare better at the sky, and it felt like all my strength was drained. My body felt sluggish, and I stared at the floor thinking twice about walking to the window. It felt like I would crumble to the floor if I so much give a single step, so I just left my feet hung by the bed instead. And as I sat there for some time, someone came.
knock! knock!
"Brother?"
I turned to the sound, and a little girl peeked through the opened door. She looked around 12 and had light brown hair, with her green eyes that sparkled as she saw me.
"Are you feeling better brother?" The little girl took a few steps closer.
'Brother? does she mean me?'
'Wait...'
'Where am I...?'
I didn't recognize my surroundings, not that I really cared. But for some reason, she seemed strangely familiar, but not quite at the same time.
"Brother...?" She was confused, his lack of reaction worried her.
"Allison, breakfast is ready."
A lady walked in and locked eyes with me. She looked shocked at first, but then rushed toward me and gave me a hug.
"Honey? are you ok? what happened?" She bombarded me with questions while embracing me. Tears could be seen in her eyes. I was powerless and was swept away by her energetic meeting. This lady seemed strangely familiar as well, but couldn't pin point who they were.
"Honey?"
Upon my lack of reaction, she separated from me to take a better look.
"Anthony, what's wrong?" She looked right into my eyes, trying to find answers.
'Anthony? Did she just called me Anthony?'
And right then, it hit me. Right, once upon a time, people called me that, a long time ago. The first years after D-Day I used it, but then stopped, since the people who knew me died one after the other. Eventually people started naming me by nicknames, I didn't really cared about it. As time passed, my 'name' changed many times. Could safely say I haven't heard someone call me Anthony for at least 20 years, and now it just feels out of place.
'Right, my name is Anthony...'
'But...'
'Who are they...?'
"Honey...?"
"Brother...?"
They both looked at me with concern. 'Wait, she just said brother again...' And then, like hitting me in the head with a rock. A massive headache hit me, making me hunch over in pain. There, hidden deep within my memories, I vaguely remember lost forgotten moments of my past. When everything was normal, before the war started. I had family, of course I had family. My mom, dad, and little sister. Eating together, traveling together, going to school and other things. It was not in great detail or specific memories, but I remembered their faces. It was such a long time ago, but I still remember them. But...
"Mom...?" Tears flooded my eyes once again. "Sister...?"
'How was this possible??'
'How in the world are they here??'
"Aww honey!"
"Brother!!."
They both hugged me at the same time, and cried as well.
Right there, as we all 3 hugged each other, finally woke me up from my clouded state of mind.
'What the hell is happening right now??'
Even though I was shocked, I didn't care. I truly appreciated this moment. This brand new day that was blooming in my life, I welcome it with open arms...