Another weekend passed, and Ariyama was on his way to actually making some progress with his mana location.
Once again imagining the sea of red dust covering everything, Ariyama felt the grip on his sword tighten, his arms shaking ever so slightly. Heat burned through his head, and he felt the blood as it rushed through his veins, his laboring breaths tearing dry coughs from his parched throat.
He felt like he was suffocating, like a dome of heat covering the air around him, pressing down onto him like an invisible elephant stepping on an ant. Ariyama was sure he was on the verge of collapsing in on himself.
And after three full days of attempts --this last day without the help of Matsune, as she supposedly had an 'assignment' to complete for the Pilgrims' Society – Ariyama Saato finally saw the blue among the red mist.
They looked like specks of cobalt, like distant shining stars in the crimson space. When Ariyama noticed them, he almost lost his concentration and dissipated the imaginary fog around him. But he caught himself and focused on his surroundings. He tried to see how the blue sparks flickering in his mind.
Ariyama wanted to reach out, to grab and feel these blue dots in the air. They felt ever-more tangible and corporeal. Almost like glowing golf balls. Ariyama imagined how they'd feel, like smooth or squishy or rough or rubbery.
And as his mind wandered, he lost focus.
And the whole mental world exposed around him. He felt weightless for a few moments, as if floating in nothingness. His heart raced as he recalled his first meeting with Idolseus, back when he touched the sword. But before he could have a panic attack while semi-conscious, the world – the real world – fell into place around him and he could suddenly feel the pillow he was sitting on and the rough handle of the sword he was clutching. Clutching so tightly, he realized that blood dripped from his palms, making a small stain of red on the floor.
His breath rushed back to him like a speeding meteor, and the force nearly knocked him onto his back. He just blew out a long breath and leaned back with his hands on the floor behind him.
"Wowzers."
"How is it coming along, Ariyama-kun?"
The voice speaking suddenly made Ariyama jump and he turned to his right with a look of terror on his face.
Matsune closed the door behind, set down her bag on the floor, then froze as she saw his expression. Her face scrunched up, hand flying to cover her mouth, and she turned away from him. As her shoulders began to shake, Ariyama worried that she was crying for some reason.
"Um… Matsune, are you OK…?"
But instead of any choked sob and quiet hic, Ariyama heard a low chortle. Matsune slowly turned back around, her face red, eyes watering, trying to keep in her laughter as politely as possible.
Realising what was at play here, Ariyama sagged and blew out his cheeks.
"You can laugh at me if you want, you know?"
"Hmph… N-no, no, it's OK. Sorry, it's just… the look of your face was so… funny–"
A little giggle escaped and she clamped both of her hands over her mouth, looking mortified.
"Matsune, seriously, I'd prefer if you'd laugh instead of trying to hold it in. I know you're trying to be nice, but still."
Matsune just blinked at him.
"Matsune, I don't want to get cranky."
Matusne pulled her hands away and swallowed.
"Yes, of course. Sorry, Ariyama-kun. I was at the headquarters of the Pilgrims Society here in Japan, and one of my teammates was being extremely funny. I suppose I got here in a humorous mood."
Ariyama just smiled up at her.
"I gotcha. Don't worry about it. I was just messing around. In other news–" He gripped his sword in his hand and pumped it in the air. "– I did the mana thing! I was able to visualize it as the blue dots in the ees mist, as you first mentioned."
Matsune made a proud face and clapped her hands together.
"Oh, Ariyama-kun, congratulations! I'm so happy with your progress. If you weren't already sure, those blue dots were the residue mana in the atmosphere. It was mostly leaking off my aura, as well as yours, but to a lesser extent."
Ariyama crossed his legs and stretched his arms above his head.
"Yeah, thanks for the rundown. But I can't lie and say I'm not absolutely beat after all that work. Nearly four days non-stop, and it's about to come crashing down on me. I'm just too tired."
Matsune nodded in understanding, but as she knelt down to surf through her bag, she adopted an innocent yet playful smile.
"Hm? So, too tired for a little spar?"
The tone of her voice made Ariyama's heart skip a beat. Why was she suddenly acting like this with him all of a sudden? If she did this in school, everyone would be falling for her – girls, boys, and everything in between.
Ariyama told himself he'd never be like everyone else and ruin his self-respect by asking her out, like every guy in a ten kilometer radius. But when she acted like this, a mix of innocence, kindness, and underlying playfulness, it made Ariyama feel things he wasn't liking.
"So?"
Her voice snapped him back to reality.
"Ah, uh, yeah. No, I think I may be able to manage one spar. So, how are we gonna do this?"
He got to his feet and put his real sword away, replacing it with the wooden sword on the rack that most resembled its length and width. Ariyama had only seen it as a full, non-shattered blade when using it in tandem with Idolseus's searing, white-hot energy cuts.
As he did so, Matsune brought out her rope-and-rubber-kunai contraption from her bag, wrapping the end of the rope around her forearm, grabbing the rest in her other hand, and giving it a few swings. Even the way she tested the weight and practiced a few different ways of lashing the weapon around made Ariyama's stomach churn with anxiety. She was nice enough not to beat his ass with that rope, right? Before, he would've instantly thought so, but ever since she began randomly acting weirdly, he became less sure.
Ariyama took one step back, raising his sword up in a two-handed grip. He swallowed thickly and narrowed his gaze, shifting his stance ever so slightly.
"OK. So, what are the rules?"
Matsune paused from gazing lovingly at her makeshift weapon and looked up at him. She had a frown on her face.
"Rules?"
The way she said it – as if the concept of rules was the silliest thing in existence – made Ariyama decide to just go along with it.
"Actually, nevermind. You wanna count us in?"
Matusne nodded once and also adjusted herself into a stance. The rope was wrapped around her right forearm, the rest held in the tight grip of her left hand. Her ebony eyes half-closed with determination, the look of pure focus on her face making Ariyama began to regret making this decision.
But before he could stop to think about stopping…
"Three… two… one!"
And with that, Matsune Sasya attacked.
She was like a bullet, if the bullet was propelled from a rocket launch site and poured with kinetic energy. One moment, she was halfway across the room like she had been before, and the next, she was right in front of Ariyama, crouching low and swinging the rope knife up in a sharp arc.
It was either she was so fast, Ariyama couldn't keep up, or she was just fast enough that Ariyama's untrained eyes lost sight of her. Either way, she was right in front of him now, and he had about .2 seconds to respond with a counter if he intended to keep his teeth intact.
Luckily, his sword skills seemed at least relative to her skills with that rope, so he was able to just manage to bring up the wooden blade and block the slash of rubber.
Ariyama hissed at the reverberations that ran up the wood and over his hands as the impact occurred. He took another step back with his right leg and swung the sword, maneuvering like he did when he practiced in this room. Like he'd done for the past five years.
A slight bend in his knees, his elbows kept close to guard his ribs, his hands gripping the smooth wood of the handle, the blade pointed up and out, set at a diagonal angle.
When Matsune came at him again with a lash of the rope, Ariyama blocked again and then it was his turn to move in. As he approached, the flash of dull shock on Matsune's face told him she wasn't used to dealing with guys with swords.
It seemed her main gimmick was how quick on her feet she was, how dexterous she was. She moved in to scrape opponents with slaps from her weapon, then rinse and repeat until the damage stacked up and her opponent eventually became overwhelmed.
Realizing this, Ariyama came up with a plan. If Matsune relied so heavily on her maneuverability, all he had to do was overwhelm her first. It probably wasn't plausible to try and out-speed her, but predicting her movements and moving to intercept them before she executed them.
It could work.
All Ariyama had to do was focus up and–
He missed a parry, and was rewarded with a lash of rubber across his face – which stung like crazy – and another hit across his belly.
Feeling like he was about to throw up the food he'd eaten that day, Ariyama backed away before falling to one knee.
Upon seeing Ariyama's defeated form, already fallen to the ground, Matsune canceled the next painful move she was about to make, instantly, like pressing exit while in the middle of an attack in a video game.
She lowered to his level, patting him on the back.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so over-the-top. To be honest, I thought your drive to spar with me meant you would be, and don't take this the wrong way, a little better."
Ariyama muttered something as he glanced up at her quizzically.
"Hm? What was that, Ariyama-kun?"
"What if I were to do a surprise attack on you?"
"Pardon?"
"Surprise attack!"
Ariyama twisted, grabbing his sword and swinging it at Matsune. But somehow, somehow, she brought her forearm up to catch the blow, absorbing most of the impact. Her face changed, her cold focus returning. She rolled back out of the way and lashed out with her rope again.
OK, Ariyama, just dodge it. Dodge it. Dodge it–
He dodged it.
Ariyama could've cried out of relief as he managed his first actual counterattack towards Matsune. As he evaded her blow, she smiled at him warmly, giving him non-vocal praise.
No. No, don't let your heart jump again. Not if you want to stay on the upper hand.
Ariyama, psyching himself up, bent his knees in a low stance, then sprang forward. He held his sword like he always did, luring Matsune into a false sense of security. She hopefully assumed he would stay at the same pace he had before.
But in reality, he was switching things up.
He twisted his sword, inverting the grip and driving the tip at her like a spear.
But then she did something equally impressive.
He grabbed the rope and tossed it, rather than lash it like a whip, and it coiled around the wood blade like a boa constrictor wrapping around its prey.
The precision of the counter threw Ariyama off, and his grip slipped slightly, allowing Matsune to jerk her hands back towards her, tearing the sword out of Ariyama's hands and sending it skittering across the floor.
Ariyama was on his feet in a second, charging towards the still spinning sword. Matsune rushed behind him and moved to lash him. At the last moment, Ariyama let himself fall to his knees, his momentum allowing him to skid forward a few meters along the smooth wooden planks on the floor. And just like that, he was in range of the sword.
Feeling the smooth wood of the handle again, Ariyama twisted his hips, letting his back hit the floor, slashing up at Matsune.
She pulled the rope taut, absorbing the attack, then unfurling it and swinging down to strike Ariyama. He rolled out of the way, getting up on one knee and stabbing at Matsune, who was just inches from reaching him.
His wooden sword hit her across the chest, which knocked her off course and sent her stumbling to the floor.
Holy crap.
He did it.
He landed a hit! He hit her!
Oh, crap, he hit her…
Ariyama fumbled with his words, setting his sword down and kneeling beside Matsune, who wasn't moving.
"Oh, uh, sorry. Matsune, are you OK? I know I'm not supposed to hit girls, but it was in the heat of the moment, and…"
Matsune mumbled something, her soft voice muffled from her face planted in the floor.
Ariyama leaned closer.
"Sorry?"
"Surprise attack…"
Matsune moved and turned onto her back, smacking Ariyama painfully across the face with the rubber knife part of her weapon. Heat bloomed in his jaw as he grunted in pain and fell to one side, holding his injury.
"Ouch."
Matsune, realizing that was the decisive blow, sighed a breath of relief and leaned back on her palms.
"Sorry, Ariyama-kun. You tried to sneak me with a surprise attack, and so I returned in kind."
"No, no, that's fair… But still, ow."
"Again, sorry."
Ariyama grunted as he sat up, resting his elbows on his knees. His face still stung a bit, but he would get over it.
"So, that was definitely something. Can you give any feedback for me? As in any tips?"
Matsune paused for a moment, tapping her cheek thoughtfully.
"Hm, well, overall I thought you did excellently. Even after just three days, you managed to land a scratch on me. I've only had my Tool for two years, sure, but I've been trained to become a member of the Pilgrims' Society my whole life."
Ariyama rubbed the back of his head
"Ah, I don't wanna sound modest, but I've been practicing sword training for five years now. Compared to your two years of training with your rope– or chain – kunai, it's no wonder I could do it."
"That is you being too modest, Ariyama-kun. But it's better to be that than to be overconfident. In the heat of a real battle, confidence is necessary, but so is a sharp mind."
Matsune got to her feet and held out a hand for Ariyama.
"But regardless of that, I think we've done enough for today. You must be tired after your mana locating training and having this spar."
"Mh-hm, you're so right."
Ariyama took her hand and was on his feet right after. His legs – all his limbs, to be honest – felt like there were iron anvils weighing them down.
"Alright, Matsune, I'm definitely done for the day. So, uh, what are you gonna get up to?"
Matsune spoke as she bent down to put her replica Tool in her bag.
"Well, I'm still working on figuring out our mystery person. I've made some more progress in checking off the names of some more of the students. If you're up for it, I'd love for you to come in tomorrow and help me? I can give you a small list of people you'd know, and all you'd have to do would be to watch them for the day, and ensure they're not doing anything odd."
Ariyama hesitated as he considered the idea. Would he be prepared? It didn't seem he'd need to use his mana location power this time, so that was a plus. He wasn't too confident with it yet anyway.
So just keep an eye out for a few people? That would be a piece of cake, as long as he kept his distance and didn't make it obvious. Even better if it was a person he knew, so he could be close to them and it wouldn't rouse suspicion.
"Sure, Matsune, I'm down. I might… take a bit to readjust to school, but as long as I focus on your mission – well, our mission now – instead of classes, I should be OK.
Matsune fixed him with a sweet smile.
"That's great to hear, Ariyama-kun. I'll see you tomorrow, then? Let's meet up at that storage room when the first bell rings."
"Sounds like a plan."
Matsune smiled again – she sure loved doing that – then picked up her bag and exited the room. As Ariyama turned to examine the mannequins, he heard the sound of her leaving through the front door. He worried that the noise would wake up his mother, but he just hoped it wouldn't. Harumi, after all, hadn't really been around for the past few days. She was either in her room or out at work. She was acting so similarly to how Ariyama had that it worried him, so much that he definitely needed to check up on her.
Wait. Like Ariyama 'had'?
He was acting like he was long past that phase, when really he'd only been out of it for one about a week? Maybe it was good that he felt like it was in the past, but he didn't want to lie to himself.
Which was why he knew what he said to Matsune had been a huge understatement.
He needed more than just 'time to readjust to school'. The thought of seeing his friends again, or at least the ones who were still alive, made him feel sick.
What would Kazura think, knowing Yaranagi was gone? What did she think of Ariyama right at this moment? She always had a problem with Matsune for other reasons, so she'd probably have no trouble hating her for it.
But Ariyama wasn't stupid; he knew she'd feel different about him, whether she hated him or not. They'd been friends for twelve years, and with that came a sense of bias. She'd always pick his side in an argument, or side with him in any scuffle.
But this was something much more than just some teenage drama or school tussle. Yaranagi, who was also her friend since childhood, died. Would she blame Ariyama?
And not just her. What about the kind and gentle Odomura or the intelligent and slightly mean Matsuragi? They were there with everyone, along with Kazura. Would they have Ariyama?
While Kazura Machi would find it easy to blame Matsune, Matsuragi Kento would be the total opposite. Still likely lovestruck with her – like most of the other guys in the year – he'd find some half-assed excuse to put her down as innocent, probably hiding it behind the facade of it being a calculated conclusion.
Of course, Ariyama joped that would happen. Matsune was innocent, after all, unlike Ariyama.
It had been him who'd opened the Shrine Gate, so maybe he did deserve whatever punishment he received.
Maybe he was guilty.
And if so, would trailing his remaining friends around the school all day, trying to see if they were guilty too –even for another reason – be fair?
No way.
Running his hands over his face in exasperation, Ariyama took his eyes off the mannequins and powered through the door, past the dining room and up at the stairs that led to the second floor.
Maybe he shouldn't take himself up on that offer to go check on his mom.
Careful to not ruin his chances by making too much noise, Ariyama gently closed the door to his training room before speaking up the stairs, then across the second floor hallway, coming to a stop at the first door on the left: his mother's room.
It was really his parents' room, but he had too much stuff going on in his life right now to be worrying over his father, so he decided to keep him out of his thoughts as much as possible.
Wait, crap, didn't that mean he was in his thoughts right now, as he reminded himself why he didn't want that?
Ariyama shook his head furiously before focusing on the topic at hand. His fingers curled around the copper doorknob, and he caught his breath for a quick second before gently easing the door open, wincing at the squeaking of the worn latches as they moved.
The room inside was nearly pitch black, despite it being only around four pm. Thinking his mother may be asleep, Ariyama quickly turned to leave when he heard a voice, soft and muttered.
"Hm… Saato? Is that you? Is everything OK?"
It was his mother's voice for sure, and Ariyama was certain he could see the vague outline of a person sitting up from a bed within that perpetual darkness.
"Yeah, mom, it's… it's me. Is everything OK?"
"Hm? Oh, yes, everything's fine, dear."
Ariyama wasn't sure what it was, but there was something in Harumi's voice that made him think everything wasn't OK. Maybe it was the slight shake he heard in her words, or the uncertainty of the whole situation. He couldn't even see her face properly, after all.
He swallowed thickly.
"Look, Mom, I just wanted to check up on you. I noticed you've been a bit… Well, reclusive for the past few days. I know I… was like that too, but I just want to see if you're OK. So, are you OK?"
Ariyama was cringing inwardly at himself. He was never very good at showing care for people. When he tried to be sentimental, he jumbled his words and couldn't come up with congruent sentences.
He saw his mother's form shift slightly on the bed.
"Aw, don't worry, darling. I'm perfectly fine. I'm just tired from work recently, that's all.
'Just tired from work' was her way of saying she was missing Gotou again. And Ariyama didn't blame him. If the roles were reversed, and Ariyama was a husband who was left alone for over half the year by his wife, who was off scamming more people, putting money in front of her family, he'd also eventually become sick of it.
The sudden image of his mother curled up on her bed, sobbing with tears staining her cheeks, made rage seize Ariyama, heat blooming through his veins, making his teeth clench and his hands shake.
He hated his father at that moment. Hated him. He wished he was dead, since it would be the best way to remove such a hassle. He wanted to tear him, limb from limb. For abandoning everything as often as he did. For leaving his mom. For leaving him.
Another wave of anger strangled Ariyama with its tendrils, but this time it was directed at Harumi. He knew he was being unfair, spiteful, but he couldn't help getting furious at her.
Why the hell was she holed up in her room the whole bloody time, when Ariyama had seen four people die in front of him only a week ago? It wasn't her friends who'd died, it was his.
Sure, Matsune was greatly helping him recover, by keeping him busy with mana location training or that spar they'd had minutes ago, but that didn't mean it was just going to go away.
Dammit. He tried to subdue it, but just knowing Harumi was two paces from made the rage roar louder, as if she was looking at him condescendingly.
He had never gotten this angry before, until that day. But if it was a result of how his mental state had changed, he didn't find it odd.
"Dear? Are you still there? Are you OK?"
"Forget it. Stay here then."
Ariyama turned on his heel and went out the door. He spoke the last bit under his breath, wanting to speak his frustration, but also not hurt his mother's feelings. He knew himself that he was just having a moment, and that it would eventually pass over, but he couldn't contain himself in the moment.
He didn't want his mom to be upset over both her husband being absent, like usual, as well as having a fight with her son.
She often vented her annoyance over being left behind by Gotou through verbal attacks towards Ariyama. He hated them but he knew why they happened, so he often managed to forgive her.
But with his mental state being so fragile currently, he didn't want to take any chances.
However, now she was keeping herself away from Ariyama like never before. Maybe she at least took into consideration what happened to him, and as a result, found another way to cope.
Ariyama wasn't sure, but what he was sure about was the fact he needed to get out of this cramped, dark room.
Once outside in the hallway, Ariyama felt as if all the energy was sapped from his limbs, and he collapsed against the wall next to the door, sliding slowly to the floor.
There, he hugged his legs and kept them close to his chest, resting his forehead on his knees. He felt a wave of emotion pass over him, and he couldn't stop a sob breaking out of him, low and sorrowful.
Why was this happening? To him of all people? Why did he have to be one of the unlucky ones? Why couldn't he have grown up normal, without learning about all this to do with magic weapons and mana and voices in his head? Or better yet, experience all that without losing his best friend in the whole world. Ariyama couldn't even picture his face fully in the worry it'd trigger him to throw up.
Dammit. It just wasn't fair. Wasn't fair at all.