It's been four weeks since I had relocated to Canada. Four weeks of questions, four weeks of an unknown, unexplainable pain, I didn't know how to feel, all I had was questions, "what did I do wrong", "where did I go wrong" I haven't heard from Tobi since my last night at cilantro restaurant.
I called several times, it rang sometimes, sometimes it didn't, Tobi was online sometimes, so I knew he didn't block me, but I couldn't place what I did wrong, I sent messages it delivered but there was no response, I didn't know what to do.
I had resumed work at Sheffield's in Canada, it was one of the best accounting firms, the pay was good, the people were friendly, especially a lady I had just met, Juri, Juri was the best, she always wore a smile to the office, and always had a way of making others wear one to, she just always smiled and cracked jokes to make everyone laugh or to ease tension when there was one, I had always thought Juri had no problems that was why she was happy, until I found out she had lost her childhood sweetheart in an accident and now she had only her daughter to remind her of her husband, when I found out about Juri's story I felt a bit more calm, it reminded me of the saying that when there's life there's hope. This was Juri and I first time of meeting and I never knew she would help my life in many other ways.
Juri always had cookouts at her place, I remember how Juri had persuaded me so much with letters, everyday I received a letter for a week "You'll be fine without him" I wondered how she would always send my flowers and chocolates, and I wondered how she knew it was because of a man I was in wreck.
Did I look like a mess? I asked myself, was it that obvious that Juri could spot me from afar, why did she think this was because of a man, i began to attend Juris cookouts which she called "ladies mingle" it was fun and it made me feel a lot better, the ladies I met at the cookout had told me that whatever happened was because of Tobi and not me, that made me feel better 80 percent, but that 20 percent felt like hell, I needed answers to my questions, why did Tobi leave me?
The first two weeks in Canada was hell, I had felt like a shadow of myself, I hated life, I wondered why it was unfair to me, I stopped picking simbi's calls, because I didn't know how to tell her that she was right and I was wrong, I attented meetings I didn't understand, I just felt like the world was off, Tobi had ghosted me just before my trip.
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I felt better, a month after, Juri's cookouts had made me feel better, I had met other ladies who were just like me, we had all been through hell in the hands of men, Lizbeth's story had touched me, she had a scar on her forehead from her husband, he had always maltreated her until she decided one day, that she was done and she called the police on him, she called her scar, "the mark of strength" she said she was glad that anyone she meets would know that she had gone through hell and still made it out.
I started coming to terms with the fact that tobi was a closed chapter in my life and that I deserved better, I started seeing life through a different lens, I knew my man would come when I wasn't looking, I had to move on, I had gotten the best job and I should be grateful for that, I had found a new family at Sheffields and there was no need to think of the past.
"Hey simi, please call back" that was simbi's message, I got that everyday for atleast 3 times, I wasn't just ready to respond to Simbi, because if I had too I would have to open my healed wounds and I didn't want that to happen, when I feel okay I'll call back " afterall she wouldn't understand me, she had everything going great for her" I felt jealous of Simbi that was wrong but I didn't what else to think, I just didn't want to talk to her.
I developed new hobbies, I loved going the park, I loved staying home and binge watching the new series " the nanny" it kept me from all the noise in my head, it reminded me of the weekly series i used to watch back in Nigeria " super story" back then I'll run home from school just so I could finish my assignments and watch it at night, I never missed an episode for one day in my life, and I guess that's what grew my appetite for reading fantasy novels.
" Simi, what exactly is your issue why are not picking up your best friends calls" my mum shouted through the phone, it was Saturday morning and my mum had called as early as 5am, " mum it's just 5am" I said in a croaky tone
"Call your best friend, she misses you" my mum ended the call. I sighed " why can't everyone just leave me alone" I picked up the phone to call Simbi when I saw her call flash through my screen.
" hey Simbi" "simiiii" she shouted "why have you not returned any of my calls and messages" I sent emails too no reply" " I'm sorry simbi's" I replied with a warm tone. "Tobi had an accident" she said, I screamed "wait what" Simbi said Tobi had an accident at night, the night before I came to Canada, and he was just recovering after two months, I felt numb all over again, here I was crying about Tobi while he was in the hospital hurting so bad. Oh I messed up again!