Two weeks had gone by, I wasn't still myself, I had lost it, Tobi and I hadn't still spoken to each other, he always came by the room to drop breakfast off for me, or asked if I needed anything, I never answered because I did not know what to say, as the days went by, I came in tune with reality, this was my fate and I just had to accept it, after all it was "for better for worse."
I gradually picked myself up, I had not gone out of the room in days, I had began to smell, I gradually stood up, I walked towards the window blinds, they were no tears to shed anymore, I had accepted fate, I slowly opened the window blinds the sun came in faintly, I sighed "love give me strength" I whispered I opened the blinds fully, as I stood in front, I felt a tear drop coming down my cheek, I wiped it immediately and I proceeded to the bathroom.
I cleaned up the room, and stepped into the bathroom, the phone had been with me all the while I stayed in the room, I picked it up and returned it to the exact position, it was before, I stepped into the shower, I washed my hair because it had been neglected by me, I turned on the speaker and had the longest shower ever.
I stepped out, Asabe my help had cleaned the house while I was away, Tobi had instructed everywhere be cleaned, I had heard his voice occasionally, I stepped out in my blue silk pyjamas, it was one I had gotten from the trip, I never got a chance to wear any of the clothes I purchased from the trip.
"Asabe" "Asabe" I called out faintly "yes Madam" she called with her deep Yoruba intonation, "Where's my husband" I asked her " he's downstairs in the parlor ma" she said panting, " you can go" I replied asaba turned to go down the stairs, she turned back slowly
" madam are you okay" she said with the most concerned tone, ' I am okay Asabe'
I replied with a warm smile, 'clean up the room for me', I proceeded downstairs to meet tobi
Tobi was downstairs in the parlor, he had crossed his legs with a newspaper on his thighs, watching the news channel, I stared at Tobi from behind, he looked so comfortable whether he sat, he didn't look like anything strange had happened was he not feeling anything? I came down the stairs quietly and proceeded to the kitchen, it was 1pm and I needed to eat lunch, I barely ate well for days now I stayed inside, food wasn't a priority, but now I felt hungry.
'Simi, please forgive me' tobi had apologized from the door of the kitchen, he didn't come close this time, I think it would have been because of the knife I was using to chop the onions, I looked at him and gave a warm smile while chopping my onions, 'would you eat yam and egg' I asked him, he looked at me with concern, ' are you sure you don't want Asabe to help with that" he asked. 'Never mind' I replied still smiling
I prepared yam and eggs for lunch and I proceeded to set up the table,for lunch, I wasn't going to let anything take me back, or make me sad, I was going to win this time.
All through lunch, Tobi was in shock, he looked at me with the most intense expression, he wasn't sure whether to eat or whether to leave the house, I stared at him back, maybe because I was enjoying watching him sweat a little, "Tobi aren't you eating" I asked him ' yes babe I'll eat' he replied with a shaky tone and a fake smile'
After lunch, I cleared the table and went back upstairs, few minutes later, Tobi had followed me upstairs, Tobi stood at the door of the room, staring down at the floor, i stayed there looking at him too, kneeling and begging me in tears apologizing, "Simi I am sorry" I didn't know what to do, but I'm so sure I enjoyed him being there, on the floor where I wanted him.
20 minutes later, I rose Tobi up from the ground, embraced him with a warm hug " baby don't cry, you did nothing wrong" I said with utmost disbelief In my own words" where did I get the strength to say this, Tobi stood up raising me up with himself, tears had filled his eyes, Tobi reached for my waist, bringing me to him, I looked straight into his eyes, Tobi kissed my neck, and proceeded to my ear with whispers of "I'm sorry" he planted kissed everywhere he needed too.
I didn't want Tobi touching me, every single touch and "sorry" felt like a lie, I felt irritated, I pushed tobi back, slowly removing myself from his grip, I didn't want him close to me at all, I wasn't that healed.
I moved over to the edge of the bed, close to the window's closing the blinds, if at all Tobi was going to touch me, I didn't want to see anything, I just wanted the first Tobi I met at simbi's wedding, the Tobi I never knew about, the tobi in my imagination, I turned on the speaker played Higher by Tems, i hated Tobi every minute I looked at him, he had put me through the worst pains in my five years of knowing him.
I walked back to Tobi, staring at him deep at him, "make love to me" I whispered in his ears, Tobi looked at me, eager, he slowly unbuttoned my pyjamas shirt, followed the rhythm of the song in the background, Tobi planted his hand on my nipples, twisting and fondling them slowly, he slowly rubbed his tongue on the tipof my nipples, I dragged Tobi closer, I had missed him and I know he missed me too, I took of his shirt, Tobi had the finest man body I ever knew, kissing his nipples slowly, with him faintly moaning, I whispered to his ears " I want a baby" Tobi looked at me deeply, before grabbing me, Tobi had carried me on the bed, nearly ripping my trousers out, we made love that night !