Lacuna — a blank space or a missing part.
Avery's POV
In the quiet moments that followed my confession to Miyah, I found myself grappling with a torrent of conflicting emotions. Despite my staunch belief in rationality and stoicism, her shattered expression lingered in my mind, haunting me like a specter of regret.
As I went about my duties at the hospital in the days that followed, her absence weighed heavily on me. Each interaction felt hollow, tinged with the lingering sense of unease that settled in the pit of my stomach.
Each morning, as I navigated the bustling halls of the hospital, my eyes searched desperately for a glimpse of her familiar figure, but she was nowhere to be found.
Though I tried to push aside my feelings, I couldn't escape the nagging sense of guilt that gnawed at me. I cared for her deeply, of that there was no doubt, but I couldn't bring myself to admit the truth of my own emotions.
Love, to me, was a fleeting and ephemeral thing, an illusion that crumbled under the weight of reality. I had long ago abandoned any belief in its power, choosing instead to focus on practical matters of duty and responsibility.
And yet, as I lay awake at night, my thoughts inevitably turned to her. Her laughter, her kindness, her unwavering dedication to her patients—all of it tugged at something deep within me, stirring feelings I had long since buried.
As the days stretched stretched on, Miyah's absence persisted, my concern only grew. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was deeply wrong, that I had made a terrible mistake in revealing the truth to her.
Though I tried to push aside my feelings of guilt and uncertainty, I couldn't escape the ache in my heart, the longing for a connection I couldn't name. And as I grappled with the weight of my own emotions, I couldn't help but wonder if I had lost her forever.
Women came and went, their names and faces blurring together in a haze of pleasure and desire. I never allowed myself to become entangled in the messy web of emotions that often accompanied such affairs.
But with her, it was different. From the moment I met her, there was something about her that captivated me, something I couldn't quite put into words.
Of course, my marriage to Torres was arranged to maintain my social status and solidify my stance in social circles. It lacked any emotional foundation. My view on marriage has always been a pragmatic arrangement rather than a union based on affection.
Despite the ache in my heart, I couldn't deny the reality of my own ambitions and priorities. I had spent years climbing the ladder of success, building a reputation and securing my place in the world. To jeopardize it all for the sake of Miyah felt like a folly I couldn't afford.
She's a sweet girl, an angel in a world of chaos. She'll find a good man someday, someone who can cherish her the way she deserves. But that good man was not me. I'm the devil, tainted by my own demons.